I take it there must be some sort of dust up on the TV about pronoun politics, push button something or other. Beyond X's and Y's there is an interesting discussion to be had about where genetics is going in the next ten years or so with respect to teasing out the "nature" part of the variance in physical traits that impact sport. And it could well have an impact on ideas of fairness beyond whatever people are going off on right now. But doesn't look like its possible to go there at the moment without getting wrapped up in somebody else's political fever dreams. Next week it will be on to something else so perhaps some other time.
Anyway...on the guys college recruitment side, what our family's is seeing is that big state school D1s and even mid major D1s/top D2s tap heavily into the overseas U23s that aren't getting signed to pro contracts out of academies. And transfers from two year schools here in the US. For our local SoCal crop of 17 going on 18 yr olds (and there are some amazing players out there), hitting that fully developed physical peak on the early side is an advantage. Like if your goal is to play for one of the UCs-that's really competitive. I've heard fairness issues raised along the lines of "hosting a USL team on a college campus" that sort of thing. But that's just how it is.
If college soccer is a "must" and a kid is a good player and willing to go to one of the smaller schools around the country with D3, NAIA, etc, you can have a really good shot at playing college ball. There are sites where you can set up profiles and they will even come looking for you. Some of them have pretty good teams. Or go the JuCo route and see how things pan out two years down the road. There are options. Given who you are as a player and who you are as a student, what are your realistic options, what compromises are you willing to make, what works best for you? At least that's how we've tried to approach it.