Recruiting Tips for Parents Just Starting the Process

crush said:
No wonder some of my more well do pals gave me that look. Listen, I never asked, "how much you make bro after taxes." Just looking for Athletic breakdown vs Academic. One pal dd got 10% soccer offer to UCLA and no academic. She said no. Instead, she took a 90% soccer deal outside of California. Pops pays 10% out of state. You call this inappropriate Q?
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Reasonable, especially since no name is attached..

Mind if I ask what level player? I'm guessing a consistent starter on a top 20 ECNL team, but I really have no idea.
 
dad4 said:
Reasonable, especially since no name is attached..

Mind if I ask what level player? I'm guessing a consistent starter on a top 20 ECNL team, but I really have no idea.
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Top player, great kid and YNT list member for one year early on. All members on the list get invited to UCLA camp.
 
Larzby said:
Correct. Secrecy helps the institutions. Transparency helps the families & students. It shouldn't be taboo to ask. But also, be aware parents tend to exaggerate.
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I think the schools should be able to show the data w/o identifying players - X number of players at 100%, Y at 50%, Z at 10%, etc. But it creates an uncomfortable dynamic, and does not really help team cohesion, for players/parents to be asking "how much are you getting?" Unlike in the workplace, there is no collective benefit to knowing that that kid is on a full ride while that kid is getting 20% and the full ride kid can't compete while the 20% kid is carrying the team, especially given that most award decisions are made before players step foot on campus (and, at least in the P5, they can't reduce the award if a player isn't cutting it).
 
dk_b said:
I think the schools should be able to show the data w/o identifying players - X number of players at 100%, Y at 50%, Z at 10%, etc. But it creates an uncomfortable dynamic, and does not really help team cohesion, for players/parents to be asking "how much are you getting?" Unlike in the workplace, there is no collective benefit to knowing that that kid is on a full ride while that kid is getting 20% and the full ride kid can't compete while the 20% kid is carrying the team, especially given that most award decisions are made before players step foot on campus (and, at least in the P5, they can't reduce the award if a player isn't cutting it).
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Great stuff bro. I remember when I got recruited to leave the Yellow Pages for a big Dot.com start up in 1999. Regional VP heard I was a damn good door knocker and he took me out for Steaks, lobsters and drinks. He offered a very nice deal and I took it. I had some pals making bank and I wanted some too. YP didn;t appreciate me at the time. Big bonus up front and a one year guarantee for x amount. He did make me sign a NDA and to never share my deal with others in his office because. We drank some more and then he invites me to Fritzes in Anaheim for some more benefits of coming over. I declined the lap dance but I did go home wondering what I was getting into, but the money was too good to pass up, I won't lie :( I found out after 30 days I made a huge mistake and I got on my knees and begged God to help me get out of hell. The next day I got a call from my old boss begging me to come back. He took me to a very nice place for more Steaks ((great guy and no invite for lap dance)) and made me an offer I couldn't refuse and I went back to the Yellow Pages until Google came and tricked our Execs to hand over our customer data base. That decision alone caused the YP to go OB!
 
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Simisoccerfan said:
I wish the NCAA published more data. Things like for each school what percent of incoming Freshmen last 4 years? What percent transfer? What percent of Freshmen that don't see minutes their 1st year last 4 years? I am sure there are many more questions. Like how many college players get injured? How many games do they miss? How many tear their ACL? There is a whole world of data missing that could help players and parents make informed decisions. Instead I am sure every single player is sold on being an impact player.
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I'm sure even if the NCAA has the resources to do the data mining and publishing they would have ZERO interest in sharing it to the public as it would be a very bad look. From purely anecdotal data collected from the small network of club/college soccer connections my DD and I have, for every 1 example of a kid who played decent minutes in their first two years, there are a more than a dozen that played 0, transferred, got injured/ACL, or quit soccer altogether. What's wild too, is that within that band of kids we know who went on to college soccer, how each of them did relative to each other in their youth soccer careers didn't translate to college in the least. The biggest stud on her team who got the most impressive scholarship/school situation played sparingly as a freshman, scored one goal, and quit. One of the kids who only played 50% of the time in club really blossomed and ended up starting for their team deep into the D1 playoffs because the player ahead of her on the depth chart got injured. Half of the kids we know that were signed to play soccer in college never saw the field and either quit or transferred. And I think the story of the recent college athlete suicides proves that getting scholarships, playing time, winning championships, and getting accolades doesn't make it all worth it. College sports and soccer in particular is brutal, unpredictable, and much less glorious than any of the parents I know imagined when they embarked on the recruitment process, myself included. Many of the seniors on her college team, even the ones who started and play huge minutes end up leaving before eligibility is up just because it's such a grind and they want to enjoy life for a bit before going out into the world. I never understood that logic until watching it all up close. My DD's situation is fortunate by comparison to most of her former teammates, but we understand fully how brief and fleeting all of it is, and most importantly, how "out of our hands" so much of this experience can be. My advice to parents starting the process has changed over the years and now I tell parents of young kids "I don't recommend pursuing college soccer, but if your kid won't take no for an answer, you have to get your kid to not focus on the scholarship, the accolades, the playing time, the results, or even the personal goals: focusing only on self-improvement and learning from whatever happens. It is the only way to survive it with some sense of success.
 
dk_b said:
I think the schools should be able to show the data w/o identifying players - X number of players at 100%, Y at 50%, Z at 10%, etc. But it creates an uncomfortable dynamic, and does not really help team cohesion, for players/parents to be asking "how much are you getting?" Unlike in the workplace, there is no collective benefit to knowing that that kid is on a full ride while that kid is getting 20% and the full ride kid can't compete while the 20% kid is carrying the team, especially given that most award decisions are made before players step foot on campus (and, at least in the P5, they can't reduce the award if a player isn't cutting it).
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Anyone here with a kid that finished college find out during their time at college what some players were getting and their their reaction.

So I imagine each school does it differently. If a team has 28 players with 14 scholarships (worse for the men at 10 scholarships) one might see 4 have 0%, 8 have 25%, 10 have 50%, 4 have 75% and 4 have 100%(check my math). Another college may play things different. Also some colleges don't use all 14. During recruiting we found out some schools started every player at 25-33%. Then additional money given.

What positions do you think get the most money?
 
Mystery Train said:
I'm sure even if the NCAA has the resources to do the data mining and publishing they would have ZERO interest in sharing it to the public as it would be a very bad look. From purely anecdotal data collected from the small network of club/college soccer connections my DD and I have, for every 1 example of a kid who played decent minutes in their first two years, there are a more than a dozen that played 0, transferred, got injured/ACL, or quit soccer altogether. What's wild too, is that within that band of kids we know who went on to college soccer, how each of them did relative to each other in their youth soccer careers didn't translate to college in the least. The biggest stud on her team who got the most impressive scholarship/school situation played sparingly as a freshman, scored one goal, and quit. One of the kids who only played 50% of the time in club really blossomed and ended up starting for their team deep into the D1 playoffs because the player ahead of her on the depth chart got injured. Half of the kids we know that were signed to play soccer in college never saw the field and either quit or transferred. And I think the story of the recent college athlete suicides proves that getting scholarships, playing time, winning championships, and getting accolades doesn't make it all worth it. College sports and soccer in particular is brutal, unpredictable, and much less glorious than any of the parents I know imagined when they embarked on the recruitment process, myself included. Many of the seniors on her college team, even the ones who started and play huge minutes end up leaving before eligibility is up just because it's such a grind and they want to enjoy life for a bit before going out into the world. I never understood that logic until watching it all up close. My DD's situation is fortunate by comparison to most of her former teammates, but we understand fully how brief and fleeting all of it is, and most importantly, how "out of our hands" so much of this experience can be. My advice to parents starting the process has changed over the years and now I tell parents of young kids "I don't recommend pursuing college soccer, but if your kid won't take no for an answer, you have to get your kid to not focus on the scholarship, the accolades, the playing time, the results, or even the personal goals: focusing only on self-improvement and learning from whatever happens. It is the only way to survive it with some sense of success.
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I'm replying because everything you said is so important people should read it twice. I tried to gently force my kid into ECNL. Then to an out of state school that was giving good money. She wouldn't have any of it, and my pushing made her hesitate a bit about soccer. Thankfully I stopped all that and helped her work hard towards the schools she was really interested in and thankfully everything worked out.

Make sure they choose a school they really like because as mentioned, there is a chance they don't make it 4 years playing soccer. Remember that most of our kids have started and played full games their whole lives. Don't put them into a situation where they may see bench for two years and then play sparingly.
 
socalkdg said:
Anyone here with a kid that finished college find out during their time at college what some players were getting and their their reaction.

So I imagine each school does it differently. If a team has 28 players with 14 scholarships (worse for the men at 10 scholarships) one might see 4 have 0%, 8 have 25%, 10 have 50%, 4 have 75% and 4 have 100%(check my math). Another college may play things different. Also some colleges don't use all 14. During recruiting we found out some schools started every player at 25-33%. Then additional money given.

What positions do you think get the most money?
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"some players" - I don't disagree. That information will be exchanged among the players and they are adults but you can see it impact the dynamic. Among the parents, yes some are very curious and almost competitive about it. It's like them sharing SAT scores or GPAs. I don't engage with that b/c I don't think anything good can come of it. If my two younger kids play college soccer, their award(s) will be different than their older sister's and maybe even different from one another but that would be the universe of knowledge that I care about.
 
Mystery Train said:
I'm sure even if the NCAA has the resources to do the data mining and publishing they would have ZERO interest in sharing it to the public as it would be a very bad look. From purely anecdotal data collected from the small network of club/college soccer connections my DD and I have, for every 1 example of a kid who played decent minutes in their first two years, there are a more than a dozen that played 0, transferred, got injured/ACL, or quit soccer altogether. What's wild too, is that within that band of kids we know who went on to college soccer, how each of them did relative to each other in their youth soccer careers didn't translate to college in the least. The biggest stud on her team who got the most impressive scholarship/school situation played sparingly as a freshman, scored one goal, and quit. One of the kids who only played 50% of the time in club really blossomed and ended up starting for their team deep into the D1 playoffs because the player ahead of her on the depth chart got injured. Half of the kids we know that were signed to play soccer in college never saw the field and either quit or transferred. And I think the story of the recent college athlete suicides proves that getting scholarships, playing time, winning championships, and getting accolades doesn't make it all worth it. College sports and soccer in particular is brutal, unpredictable, and much less glorious than any of the parents I know imagined when they embarked on the recruitment process, myself included. Many of the seniors on her college team, even the ones who started and play huge minutes end up leaving before eligibility is up just because it's such a grind and they want to enjoy life for a bit before going out into the world. I never understood that logic until watching it all up close. My DD's situation is fortunate by comparison to most of her former teammates, but we understand fully how brief and fleeting all of it is, and most importantly, how "out of our hands" so much of this experience can be. My advice to parents starting the process has changed over the years and now I tell parents of young kids "I don't recommend pursuing college soccer, but if your kid won't take no for an answer, you have to get your kid to not focus on the scholarship, the accolades, the playing time, the results, or even the personal goals: focusing only on self-improvement and learning from whatever happens. It is the only way to survive it with some sense of success.
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I sent this to a dear friend of mine who is depressed because his dd came back before she even started. This 100% helped him. His dd is super happy but he's not because he invested thousands of dollars and thousands of hours driving his dd all over playing youth soccer so he can see her play in college.
 
Mystery Train said:
I'm sure even if the NCAA has the resources to do the data mining and publishing they would have ZERO interest in sharing it to the public as it would be a very bad look. From purely anecdotal data collected from the small network of club/college soccer connections my DD and I have, for every 1 example of a kid who played decent minutes in their first two years, there are a more than a dozen that played 0, transferred, got injured/ACL, or quit soccer altogether. What's wild too, is that within that band of kids we know who went on to college soccer, how each of them did relative to each other in their youth soccer careers didn't translate to college in the least. The biggest stud on her team who got the most impressive scholarship/school situation played sparingly as a freshman, scored one goal, and quit. One of the kids who only played 50% of the time in club really blossomed and ended up starting for their team deep into the D1 playoffs because the player ahead of her on the depth chart got injured. Half of the kids we know that were signed to play soccer in college never saw the field and either quit or transferred. And I think the story of the recent college athlete suicides proves that getting scholarships, playing time, winning championships, and getting accolades doesn't make it all worth it. College sports and soccer in particular is brutal, unpredictable, and much less glorious than any of the parents I know imagined when they embarked on the recruitment process, myself included. Many of the seniors on her college team, even the ones who started and play huge minutes end up leaving before eligibility is up just because it's such a grind and they want to enjoy life for a bit before going out into the world. I never understood that logic until watching it all up close. My DD's situation is fortunate by comparison to most of her former teammates, but we understand fully how brief and fleeting all of it is, and most importantly, how "out of our hands" so much of this experience can be. My advice to parents starting the process has changed over the years and now I tell parents of young kids "I don't recommend pursuing college soccer, but if your kid won't take no for an answer, you have to get your kid to not focus on the scholarship, the accolades, the playing time, the results, or even the personal goals: focusing only on self-improvement and learning from whatever happens. It is the only way to survive it with some sense of success.
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Your post should be pinned to the start of this thread and any new member opening it should be forced to memorize it. Parents come here chasing the college scholarship (like I did) and have no clue of what they are getting their kid into.
 
The coach and his recruiting assistant certainly know ow, the AD knows and several members of his staff may have access to the info, the college leadership should know if they are meeting the requirements of maintaining effective control of the program, and the NCAA must have received reports that indicate how many are on scholarship and how much in order to determine if the school is in compliance with NCAA regulations. It wouldn't surprise me to know that competing coaches have a pretty good idea what the scholarship picture is from what their recruits have told them, if not just shared on a friendly basis or obtained over the transom.

The people that it is most important to keep the information from are the parents, both of prospective recruits and current players.
 
crush said:
I sent this to a dear friend of mine who is depressed because his dd came back before she even started. This 100% helped him. His dd is super happy but he's not because he invested thousands of dollars and thousands of hours driving his dd all over playing youth soccer so he can see her play in college.
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I'm glad if I could help any parent navigating this weird space we're in. I can understand how he would feel. Plenty of the friends I made on the sidelines felt the same way when their kids left the game before reaching whatever ideal they had as college players. But the key in your post is "His dd is supper happy." That's it. Full stop. If his dd is super happy now, then maybe all that money wasn't completely wasted. Maybe it was just another opportunity for her to figure herself out. And bless her for doing it! I sure hope he wouldn't trade a happy daughter full of life for a mentally wrecked kid with a nice stat sheet.
 
Mystery Train said:
I'm sure even if the NCAA has the resources to do the data mining and publishing they would have ZERO interest in sharing it to the public as it would be a very bad look. From purely anecdotal data collected from the small network of club/college soccer connections my DD and I have, for every 1 example of a kid who played decent minutes in their first two years, there are a more than a dozen that played 0, transferred, got injured/ACL, or quit soccer altogether. What's wild too, is that within that band of kids we know who went on to college soccer, how each of them did relative to each other in their youth soccer careers didn't translate to college in the least. The biggest stud on her team who got the most impressive scholarship/school situation played sparingly as a freshman, scored one goal, and quit. One of the kids who only played 50% of the time in club really blossomed and ended up starting for their team deep into the D1 playoffs because the player ahead of her on the depth chart got injured. Half of the kids we know that were signed to play soccer in college never saw the field and either quit or transferred. And I think the story of the recent college athlete suicides proves that getting scholarships, playing time, winning championships, and getting accolades doesn't make it all worth it. College sports and soccer in particular is brutal, unpredictable, and much less glorious than any of the parents I know imagined when they embarked on the recruitment process, myself included. Many of the seniors on her college team, even the ones who started and play huge minutes end up leaving before eligibility is up just because it's such a grind and they want to enjoy life for a bit before going out into the world. I never understood that logic until watching it all up close. My DD's situation is fortunate by comparison to most of her former teammates, but we understand fully how brief and fleeting all of it is, and most importantly, how "out of our hands" so much of this experience can be. My advice to parents starting the process has changed over the years and now I tell parents of young kids "I don't recommend pursuing college soccer, but if your kid won't take no for an answer, you have to get your kid to not focus on the scholarship, the accolades, the playing time, the results, or even the personal goals: focusing only on self-improvement and learning from whatever happens. It is the only way to survive it with some sense of success.
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You should post more often. :)
 
Simisoccerfan said:
Your post should be pinned to the start of this thread and any new member opening it should be forced to memorize it. Parents come here chasing the college scholarship (like I did) and have no clue of what they are getting their kid into.
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I know the grind you and your DD have had to go through and that experience, even when it eventually works out to playing time in college, is just something parents new to the process (like we once were) have no reality on.
 
Sitting drinking some wine, just had a great sushi dinner with the family. Daughter flies out for the last time tomorrow morning to start her senior season. She very well could be starting this final season like she did in the Spring or riding the pine behind some new Freshmen. On this past Father’s Day I got to drive her to one last game since she was playing in the WPSL. The end is near and it makes me a bit sad.
 
ToonArmy said:
Well I'm new to it as my 05 DD just committed this summer and I'll definitely remeber your guys advice as I did for years on this thread and thank you everyone for the advice and for answering questions I had
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Congrats. Is she staying in So Cal? What position does she play. Chance our daughter will play vs each other.
 
dad4 said:
People don’t want to know “how much did Sally get?”. They want to know “what kind of money is out there and does my kid qualify?”.
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I never said people don't want to know. I just said it's none of their business and inappropriate to ask.
 
Dubs said:
I never said people don't want to know. I just said it's none of their business and inappropriate to ask.
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And I disagree. It's all good Dubs, I get you man and I will never ask you. I got PMs from a few cool dads that gave me the low down on the deals out there. I 100% know how this all goes down. Have a gr8t Friday and I mean that.
 
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