Recruiting Tips for Parents Just Starting the Process

Simisoccerfan said:
Well that’s a rap. Career over. Time to find a hobby. Word of advice, don’t trust coaches. Most only looking out for themselves.
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Thanks for contributing, your insight was helpful.

How did your player like the education they received at the university(ies) they went to?

On career path with a degree with job prospects or secured one or looking at continuing on with more higher education like a masters.
 
outside! said:
Most?
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There are good and bad just like all walks of life. And most coaches don't/can't trust players either, especially in 2022. Coaches have the agenda of the team/program, and players/families have their agenda of getting a chunk of the 990 minutes available each game. With 30+ on rosters, this is a natural clash of agendas. Athletics is a business. Treat it as such, and you won't get burned.
 
Swoosh said:
There are good and bad just like all walks of life. And most coaches don't/can't trust players either, especially in 2022. Coaches have the agenda of the team/program, and players/families have their agenda of getting a chunk of the 990 minutes available each game. With 30+ on rosters, this is a natural clash of agendas. Athletics is a business. Treat it as such, and you won't get burned.
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You can treat it as such and still get burned
 
It has taken me a few days to collect my thoughts the best I can but they are still clouded by emotion. Here goes:
  • Soccer was never my daughters number one priority nor should it have been. She loves her school and her teammates. She has had so many wonderful experiences at college and developed life long friends from college and her club. So no she would not change any of her decisions though clearly she wished she played more. She played most games but not all and those were decisions made by others.

  • Soccer was probably my number one priority for her for most of her college career and I was wrong for putting it so. As a parent you want the best for your kid. There are many steps on the path from playing AYSO as 4 year old to graduating from a D1 program as scholarship athlete. Very few players make it the end. It is easy to get caught up in that path and always looking for more. The best advice I can give is enjoy the whole journey however far she makes it because it all ends too fast.

  • Things will happen that are out of your control. Injuries, torn acl’s, coaching changes, and new recruits every year are a few of them. You have no control over coaching decisions too. These things will change the experience for your kid. Learn to deal with them.

  • Coaches are being paid to win. They get bonuses for it too or fired if they lose to much. They also don’t get paid much. Almost every assistant coach makes less then your kid will make in their first job. They have their own agenda and all too often that agenda is not what’s best for your kid. This ain’t club soccer. It’s a business. The sooner you realize this the better. The only time you have any power is in the recruiting process. Some will say the Transfer Portal also gives you power but the grass is rarely greener.
So it is over! 17 years of year around soccer. I will never watch one of my kids play a competitive game again. We have been so many places, met so many friends, and been through so much. It has dominated my life for the better. Well it’s time for me to find a hobby or two. Damn I am so proud of my daughter but so sad it’s over.

Simisoccerfan out!
 
You never know when it is over. Mine stopped D1 in 2012/2013. She continues now.

School was her priority, using soccer to get into a school was my priority.

At age 28 with her only ACL injury 2 years ago (turning around calling to friends wearing skis) and almost all healed she is at it again.

After leaving college D1 Varsity as a GK, she went to the field to co-ed with 4-5 of the men's D1 champs on it and was one of 3 girls. We joked that that was the highest level team she had ever been on - as it was.
After college she really continued the co-ed leagues typically being one of 2-3 girls on the team.
She played a couple seasons in Dallas. She became team captain in SFO which was more about organizing the post-game "meetings".

I'm pretty happy something we really pushed her to do for a purpose, became something she loves.
 
I used to be addicted to this site. This was my dad brag outlet. I can still do that if certain posters show up to bug me and will a bit in this post.

Competitive sports where the most important things my kids did.

My kids were talented in academics and sports (got them to Notre Dame and US Air Force Academy), but I think many that post here have similar kids.

Their sports friends on average are just doing better. I tend to think the formula is more parents that care, but there is a difference vs the "just students".

I remember my 8th(ish) grader telling the teacher she couldn't study for a test because she had soccer practice (I heard from the teacher) and dad said that was more important.
Teacher about fell on the floor when I confirmed my daughter was 100% right and defended it on where athletes could go vs [just] really great students.

An all "B" student (real) athlete will generally have more options than an all "A" student non-athlete.

Then, they might not even need the college.
 
Zoro said:
I used to be addicted to this site. This was my dad brag outlet. I can still do that if certain posters show up to bug me and will a bit in this post.

Competitive sports where the most important things my kids did.

My kids were talented in academics and sports (got them to Notre Dame and US Air Force Academy), but I think many that post here have similar kids.

Their sports friends on average are just doing better. I tend to think the formula is more parents that care, but there is a difference vs the "just students".

I remember my 8th(ish) grader telling the teacher she couldn't study for a test because she had soccer practice (I heard from the teacher) and dad said that was more important.
Teacher about fell on the floor when I confirmed my daughter was 100% right and defended it on where athletes could go vs [just] really great students.

An all "B" student (real) athlete will generally have more options than an all "A" student non-athlete.

Then, they might not even need the college.
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Experience is Truth! Amazing two kids you got and gr8t job on parenting :)
 
The clash comes between the business of soccer for the coach/AD and the hopes and dreams of the athlete and the family. As a coach you don’t have to be a dick to run the business side of the house. There are plenty coaches that are ethical, compassionate and discriminating to run successful programs that win year after year. They speak the truth to their players and don’t play harmful, manipulative games. Then there are the narcissistic, abusive, arrogant, assholes that have the power to ruin an athletes experience and players really have very little power to make a difference in this and are just casualties
 
Soccer43 said:
The clash comes between the business of soccer for the coach/AD and the hopes and dreams of the athlete and the family. As a coach you don’t have to be a dick to run the business side of the house. There are plenty coaches that are ethical, compassionate and discriminating to run successful programs that win year after year. They speak the truth to their players and don’t play harmful, manipulative games. Then there are the narcissistic, abusive, arrogant, assholes that have the power to ruin an athletes experience and players really have very little power to make a difference in this and are just casualties
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Truth.jpg
 
What are folks' experiences with D3 merit scholarships at strong academic schools? Do athletes have any advantage over purely academic applicants?
 
Zoro said:
You never know when it is over. Mine stopped D1 in 2012/2013. She continues now.

School was her priority, using soccer to get into a school was my priority.

At age 28 with her only ACL injury 2 years ago (turning around calling to friends wearing skis) and almost all healed she is at it again.

After leaving college D1 Varsity as a GK, she went to the field to co-ed with 4-5 of the men's D1 champs on it and was one of 3 girls. We joked that that was the highest level team she had ever been on - as it was.
After college she really continued the co-ed leagues typically being one of 2-3 girls on the team.
She played a couple seasons in Dallas. She became team captain in SFO which was more about organizing the post-game "meetings".

I'm pretty happy something we really pushed her to do for a purpose, became something she loves.
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Quality women players for adult co-ed leagues are always a hot commodity
 
Yak said:
What are folks' experiences with D3 merit scholarships at strong academic schools? Do athletes have any advantage over purely academic applicants?
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My experience and that of others in my daughters class is if a D3 coach wants your player they will find them merit money.
 
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Yak said:
What are folks' experiences with D3 merit scholarships at strong academic schools? Do athletes have any advantage over purely academic applicants?
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The college will say "no" (obviously) but the correct answer seems to be "yes" so don't take them at their word!
 
I'd appreciate your thoughts on what I hear about people getting D1 soccer scholarships. What percentage of players in D1 are on full scholarships? Is there a difference between male and female? The families of ulta-premier players I speak always have something like 20 to 30% schollys at most.
What does it take for a male or female soccer star to get a full ride?
 
TopesWin said:
I'd appreciate your thoughts on what I hear about people getting D1 soccer scholarships. What percentage of players in D1 are on full scholarships? Is there a difference between male and female? The families of ulta-premier players I speak always have something like 20 to 30% schollys at most.
What does it take for a male or female soccer star to get a full ride?
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This information was correct 10 years ago. I expect it is mostly correct now. I just have not kept up because I'm not invested anymore.

Few players at the top soccer schools are on "full". The rosters have 20+ on them, so the math says the average is not even at 50%. Other schools do not even fully fund the program to what NCAA allows and what they do might be less. If there is no football team, chances are the program may not be fully funded. Sure - Pepperdine is, as are others, but that is a guideline. Title IX takes the money and... nevermind.

The coach might find other money other ways. If your kid happens to be able to get need's aid, the coach is not going to spend scholarship money, even if they would otherwise.
If you (kid) have money, think of soccer as a way to get your kid into places that they could not otherwise go.
Many of the top ranked schools do not give merit money at all. The Ivy's just don't (or didn't) give scholarships. They let you go.

If you are looking at getting financial help, consider a lower demand soccer school. I worked with a guy that was the CalTech QB for football. Ever heard of CalTech football? Me neither till then.
But he got free school. He was also just smart enough to get in. And he got a CalTech degree in Chem if I remember correctly. I went to UC Irvine with smarter kids. They just were not QB material.

I suggest search "Common Data Set" and seeing the SAT (at least the ones that still use SAT) scores that actually get in. If your kid is 25 percental and has soccer, leverage that.
 
TopesWin said:
I'd appreciate your thoughts on what I hear about people getting D1 soccer scholarships. What percentage of players in D1 are on full scholarships? Is there a difference between male and female? The families of ulta-premier players I speak always have something like 20 to 30% schollys at most.
What does it take for a male or female soccer star to get a full ride?
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I think things are changing as we speak for top players because of NIL collectives. My kid hasn’t received a scholarship offer from any school but we are in talks with a major athletic apparel company. The company hasn’t put any limitations on where my kid can play but it looks like AD’s/compliance officer’s at schools will not let her play if she is a brand ambassador for their brands competitor.
 
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