I agree I did what I thought was best for my daughter. I’m not here to judge any trans person or sound transphobic but I just felt it wasn’t right. The thought of a wolf in a sheep costume just lingered inside my mind and it was something that I could easily prevent if it was the actual case. Not to pass judgement on this trans person but I felt very uncomfortable and If I accepted it and my daughter came back telling me that she felt that she was wrongly touched I would not be able to forgive myself for putting her in that situation.
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I opted for the Thai massage instead from the small Asian lady. The ones that stand on your back. So that was my excuse to pick the small Asian lady. The trans person was not lightweight. So I was in the clear.
Ah. You missed an opportunity to play some Socratic gymnastics then. You don’t have to answer because it’s your business alone but here’s some hypothetical questions to ask yourself if you did get the Swedish massage:
-would you have been comfortable with a man? Why?
- would you have been comfortable if you knew that man was gay? Why?
-would you have been comfortable with a woman? Why?
-would you have been comfortable with the mtf? Why? What if you could tell if they were in tact or not? What about a ftm?
Gosh... I'm heartbroken you don't like me. Whatever will I do?
That's not what you said. You babbled something about the N-word. Then again, who cares what you said? It's never accurate. All you do is lie.
F'd in the a? My goodness. You're really turned on by my posts, aren't you?
Don't have much going on, do you?
Cry to your mommy? *\_
_/*1) No I would not have been comfortable with a man giving me a massage. In previous cases I always opt for a woman. I just don't feel comfortable having a man touch and feel my ass.
2) If I knew the man was gay I would have been even more uncomfortable given the fact that the thought in my head of what he may be thinking of as he touches my buttocks,
would not make me feel relaxed while getting the massage. Does this mean I'm homophobic? I would say no because I would not be comfortable with a straight man massaging me anyways.3) Yes I would be comfortable with a woman as I always opt for a woman to give me a massage. In all my years that I've gotten massages, I've only had 1 issue with a woman who was trying to make an extra buck by providing extra services but I happily declined and never returned to that place again. Given this happened during Covid times, I get it times were tough and therapists were struggling for money so I did not report her to her boss.
4) I would not be comfortable with a MTF trying to massage me. It just feels uncomfortable. You want to call me transphobic for that, then that's fine but it's my prerogative and I'm the customer so feeling completely relaxed during a massage is what I aim for. I wouldn't want to get a massage while having worrying thoughts in my head. It's just a bad experience. As far as a ftm I would be more comfortable with that and probably would not mind knowing he was once a woman. Even though I would opt for a cis woman as my first choice. Given the fact that I'm the paying customer, I should have the right to chose who I want to get a massage from.
It's a little late for that... she passed from cancer in 2015.Cry to your mommy? *\_
... but you keep up your momentum with taking the moral "high" ground.
I like the game…demand I produce your quote, I produce your quote, it accurately sets out what you said, you run away from it, and then like a magician you do some magic hand waiving to avoid it. You got served. It’s there, in black and white, you bigot. Good day sir.
Nah just speculating on why the gentleman is so angry and protests so much? If not f’d in the a, then what is it? Cause some self hatred going there.
I wish all of us were better at limiting our disagreements. When we manage it, it makes for a more pleasant world.
( So why the hell am I here trolling? Good question. )
Oh you absolutely have a right to choose who you get to massage you. But it’s interesting you won’t let your daughter be touched except by a biological w and you won’t be touched yourself except by a biological woman (who could btw, be also gay and enjoying herself with your dd). What about your wife? In your rubric except for with gay men, no massage therapist could ever be a man. We all have our biases. Everyone is just a little bit Racist. But if you look you’ll see you do have some biases in play here. The next question to ask yourself is why and do you care given the answer?1) No I would not have been comfortable with a man giving me a massage. In previous cases I always opt for a woman. I just don't feel comfortable having a man touch and feel my ass.
2) If I knew the man was gay I would have been even more uncomfortable given the fact that the thought in my head of what he may be thinking of as he touches my buttocks,
3) Yes I would be comfortable with a woman as I always opt for a woman to give me a massage. In all my years that I've gotten massages, I've only had 1 issue with a woman who was trying to make an extra buck by providing extra services but I happily declined and never returned to that place again. Given this happened during Covid times, I get it times were tough and therapists were struggling for money so I did not report her to her boss.
4) I would not be comfortable with a MTF trying to massage me. It just feels uncomfortable. You want to call me transphobic for that, then that's fine but it's my prerogative and I'm the customer so feeling completely relaxed during a massage is what I aim for. I wouldn't want to get a massage while having worrying thoughts in my head. It's just a bad experience. As far as a ftm I would be more comfortable with that and probably would not mind knowing he was once a woman. Even though I would opt for a cis woman as my first choice. Given the fact that I'm the paying customer, I should have the right to chose who I want to get a massage from.
May I ask out of curiosity what made you think this was a Trans Massage Therapist? TMT is what my buddy calls they & them in the massage industry. It's big business these days. A lot of men like the look of a female but the body and strength like a mans.
No need to explain.
And like clockwork GraceT jumps in with hypotheticals and then wants you to explain your biases, after you already graciously explained your answers.
Me agreeing or disagreeing with anyone is really a terrible measure of the validity of an argument!
The best massage I ever got was from a gay man named Troy. This was early 2000s. I was very happy with my massage because Troy knew where all my tight spots were. He never once hit on me or asked me if I wanted an upgrade. Dude was not cheap but by far the best ever.
Grace, I appreciate your thoughts, and you're right, we all have our biases but I'll own mine without hesitation. But here’s where my philosophy comes in: I’m not trying to be transphobic or discriminatory, but when it comes to my 14-year-old daughter, I’m in full-on defense mode. As far as a biological gay woman goes, I’m fine with that as long as she’s professional and respectful. The moment there’s any inappropriate behavior, regardless of orientation, it becomes a problem, and I’ll deal with it like any protective parent would.
Now, when it comes to a man, or even an MTF, the answer is a firm "No" until my daughter is 18 and can make her own decisions. Why? Because I’m taking preventative measures. It’s not about demonizing men or trans women, it’s about reducing risks in situations that could lead to psychological harm or discomfort. Am I stereotyping here? Sure, but I don’t care. I’d rather err on the side of caution and keep potential dangers out of the equation. This isn't about worrying over someone’s private thoughts it's about preventing a situation that could damage my daughter, emotionally or mentally, should something go wrong.
It's a calculated decision, like crossing the street when I see a sketchy group heading my way. It’s not that I assume the worst in people, but my evolutionary instinct is to avoid unnecessary danger. I’d rather take a few extra steps to avoid a situation where my daughter could be vulnerable. Life doesn’t always give you second chances, and as her father, it’s my job to shield her from those kinds of risks. So yeah, I’ll take those odds, even if it means leaning into my protective instincts. It’s not about stereotypes for the sake of being judgmental, it’s about making sure my daughter’s well being comes first. That’s just where I stand, and I'm good with it.
If you are comfortable with that Crush then more power to you.
Troy came highly recommended. I prefer a woman, but my back was twisted in knots from all the stress of being a man with a death grip mortgage, two kids in sports and stay home wife that would spend all my money before I could get my hands on it. I was going through a hard time and Troy helped me a lot. I tried the walk on my back massage, and I was not a fan. To each his own massage bro. I like soft and the strong to the touch, not someone walking on my back like I'm hot rocks.If you are comfortable with that Crush then more power to you.
Oh I get your daughter. I’d probably have the same rule. Where I raise the question is with you being uncomfortable being touched by a man. Or what about your wife if she got a male massage and enjoyed it. Or is that the point you enjoy being touched by the woman, ok with your wife enjoying a man but don’t want your daughter since she’s too young