Seriously what do you guys want from me now? I do not have any other accounts on this thread
I dunno man, I think you got some issues to work out within yourself man. I get it, you want the best for your kid. You want to win. You want your kid to know what it takes to be great. You think your kid is the shiz... So does everybody.
But here’s the deal. Soccer is a team sport. As with any team, there will be stronger players and weaker players. This isn’t cycling - or running... maybe you’re used to cycling where the team trains to help that one star cycler win... I dunno.
Either way, at this age group, kids aren’t getting paid to play. Parents are paying so their kid can play, learn from a coach, and get better, not sit on a bench. Nobody is there to watch YOUR kid play and score goals, seriously, nobody cares and what these parents on this board are trying to tell you is even if your kid is great and scores all these goals - at this age it means nothing. While wins are great, club soccer at this age is to develop kids. This means the whole point is for your kid and everyone else’s to get better from wherever they’re at. The wins don’t matter - at all. In fact, NOT being on the best team and learning the grit required to play through tough losses will do more for your kid than just winning every game. you getting all worked up over losing a game or tournament shows you have no clue.
We’ve had parents like you on our teams and I can describe them to you in one word: TOXIC.
It’s not fun for the parents, the kids, heck, it’s not fun for you or your kid either. And what these parents are trying to tell you is, your attitude towards all this is gonna burn out your kid. Why? Because your focus is on the wins and not the process. In soccer, one player can not dictate if the team wins or not. Your DD may contribute, but she has no control over the end result. Hence, if your definition of success is winning a game/tournament, her key to her success is dependent on everyone else around her and less her own actions. So unless she’s on a team where everyone else plays great - she will not be successful. But in that case, if she’s on that great a team, they can probably win without her and her contributions will be minimal in comparison. In other words, even when she wins, she loses and her sense of accomplishment is misplaced. When you focus so much on the wins, you’re setting your kid and each kid on the team up for failure.
Contrast that to success being that your kid played well, used new skills, learned new moves, being the type of player that helps her teammates play better, not giving up when they’re down, knowing how to pass, be a playmaker, being a leader... that is fully within her control and will help her be that much better player going forward.
