Nobody is encouraging private adult "access" with minors.
Takes a special kind of thought procees to conclude that
Do your job as a parent.
Enjoy the day.
Ventura Coach Accused of Inappropriate Acts
- Thread starter Grace T.
- Start date
Takes a special kind of thought procees to conclude that
Do your job as a parent.
Enjoy the day.
smellycleats
SILVER ELITE
My purpose in posting my family’s experience at Eagles is not to settle a score. It was to show that there is a pattern of behavior on the part of some coaches and leadership there. In our case, when it came time for Eagles to make a choice to protect young players or to protect their assets they chose protecting their own interests. It wasn't about sexual abuse but it was an example of how the club looked the other way on reprehensible behavior on the part of one of their parents in order to protect themselves -THE ADULTS. The guy who came after my daughter has a history of trouble at Eagles. There have been other complaints against him. His daughter is also a standout player. Neither the coach nor the club wanted to lose her. If they had chosen to limit his field access or some other punitive measure, he would have likely taken her and left. This was the choice they had to make to protect my daughter and others from a volatile bully-a guy that picks on 7 year olds. And I was pretty naive. This was our first club experience. Both of my daughters had the same coach and I thought he was a pretty standup guy. When all of this went down I actually thought that the club was going to handle it. I had faith in them. This is why I post repeatedly on the subject and why I won't shut up. I'm sure there are other parents out there who might have misplaced faith in their club
When I heard about VT I was devastated for the girl and her family, as well as for my own daughters who had to hear about it. Based on my own experience with this club though, I was not surprised.
Based on your description of this guy, isn't he also a high school coach? If so Eagles would not do anything to jeopardize their players making the high school team. Remember one child's best interest is insignificant when a club is protecting their bottom line.
El Clasico
GOLD
Who is the parent? Are they still with Eagles? Wouldn't be the "Macs Greatest Hits" guy, would it? Based on the age given by SC, that would make sense.
I generally agree with you but don't you think you are being a little hard in this case? He or she might have approached the issue wrong by using a victim to further her argument, but it is a valid argument that the Eagles often look the other way.
That's not been my experience...
She's made her point again and again. The fact is, others have had great experiences with the Eagles.
I know folks that have felt they had poor experiences with other clubs, they changed clubs and moved on....
Changing clubs for some is a yearly tradition, looking for the coach that recognizes that their little Suzy is the most talented child to ever set foot on the pitch.
Last edited:
Daniel Miller
SILVER ELITE
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rationalization_(psychology)
In psychology and logic, rationalization or rationalisation (also known as making excuses[1]) is a defense mechanism in which controversial behaviors or feelings are justified and explained in a seemingly rational or logical manner to avoid the true explanation, and are made consciously tolerable—or even admirable and superior—by plausible means.[2] It is also an informal fallacy of reasoning.[3]
Ok so you left because of this troublemaking Dad. Did the team fall apart and/or did more players leave because of him or is the team still together and is he still on it? I ask because I do know that some adults react and say something or do something brash but it doesn't typically make us leave a team because of it. Quite possibly you should have gotten over the blow up and helped your daughter understand that adults make mistakes too. To kick his daughter out of the club is a little harsh on the child. She did nothing wrong. I am not sure his crazy outburst was worth a lifetime ban from the team. Did the club speak with him? Or just blow it off? Just asking...
outside!
DA
DD was once on a team where one of the dad's felt he was able to say negative comments to the players during the course of the game. Everybody including the DOC and myself told him he needed to STFU. He toned it down, but still couldn't contain himself at times. I told DD that if he ever said anything negative to her, she was allowed to say "STFU Eugene!". Since she is a much better person than I am, she never did, but I would have stood by her.
smellycleats
SILVER ELITE
Well make up your mind...do you want me to shut up or do you want me to talk about it?
Look, of course there was more to it. Wasn’t just one minor blow up and I never asked that the player be banned from the club. She’s a sweet kid and a very special player. If she weren’t, he wouldn’t be allowed to get away with this stuff.
Chalklines
GOLD
Let's face it. All clubs are guilty of blowing off complaining parents and nominal issues during the year because the bitching never stops. I get it.
I don't have a player with the eagle's but from what I've been told is if your players an asset to the club you will never be ignored and there's always an open line of communication via email or phone to all the directors unless you compleatly step out of line and burn your bridge.
My issue with the eagle's is the pattern snellycleatss is talking about. Too many major issues being delt with internally to keep a winning cultre / club / coaches intact. The bussiness first approach is a very dangerous game for youth sports because the bigger issues get overlooked.
I don't have a player with the eagle's but from what I've been told is if your players an asset to the club you will never be ignored and there's always an open line of communication via email or phone to all the directors unless you compleatly step out of line and burn your bridge.
My issue with the eagle's is the pattern snellycleatss is talking about. Too many major issues being delt with internally to keep a winning cultre / club / coaches intact. The bussiness first approach is a very dangerous game for youth sports because the bigger issues get overlooked.
Chalklines.... what are you basing your comments on?
Innuendo, speculation, rumor or from what you've been told by whom?
I'm aware of no club, anywhere, that doesn't deal with issues internally, are you?
Club soccer is big business, to think otherwise is simply wishful.
Because it's big business, issues can't be overlooked.
Chalklines
GOLD
Im new to the area and new to this state. I've been in So Cal for about a year now and now have had two opportunities to shop different clubs for my kids.
Im basing my comments on this:
In a years time you hear quite a bit from parents removed and parents directly involved. Some from the past some from the present. Camarillo is a very small soccer town so people talk. You mention club soccer the Eagles come up. They have a strong hold on the area and they know it. Everything from talent to facilities they have it so its almost every local parents first stop searching for a club if your serious about soccer and dont want to drive for something comparable.
I must say ive met quite a few great individuals who would absolutely take a bullet for the club. Lots of positive but its the negative narrative that steered me away. It was all the same. If as a parent you question training methods or any game time decisions whether in the moment or confidentially with the coach or admin you will fall out of the clubs graces faster then you can believe. (and I get thats normal for SOME high level clubs) Now the kicker was from the handful of pissed off individuals I spoke with. All similar situations with almost similar results escalating in DOC's getting involved and being ignored on following up. All felt that speaking up translated into heavy consequences for their players on game day. (Smellycleats story here sounded wayyy to similar except he didnt mention if his player was punished on the field?)
I see that as a pattern especially coming from individuals all at different age levels who have played with or have dealt with the coach and specific director involved in each complaint. One cant help to wonder how the VT situation was handled "internally" if indeed a parent or player(s) came forward at that time. The VT situation was the nail in the coffin for our family making a decision to play for the Eagles at this point in time. Until the dust settles over this you really dont know who to believe. Once the criminal trial is put to bed the opportunity for the victim comes to take civil action. Will she go after VT or throw a curve going after the club? I think this will be the main tell of what really happend and quite a few family's soccer lifes will be changed for better or worse.
God for bid if some coach did something criminal to my kids I would want to feel 100% confident that things would be handled properly by a club and a coaches resume and contacts would never be placed greater then my child's safety. Just like other posters before me I have a hard time believing with the clubs open door policy they did not have knowledge of this for the last 10 years..........and yes, I hope im wrong.
That's great that you had the support of the club. That makes a huge difference. But in Smelly's case a grown man had an outburst of that should have subsided once the game was over. But it appears that the jerk and the club demanded multiple times that a 7 year old apologize for accidentally hitting him with the ball during the game. That is warped but makes sense given the guy.
Both my dd's played for the Eagles...this thing came out of no where and hurt many people...
This was so far from imaginable that it still makes me sick knowing it happened.
For those who know nothing about this to say it had to have been a known. You're WRONG.
I take offense to that. If any rumblings or talk about this had come to my attention...my dd would have been gone in a heart beat.
To know VT and to know this happened is beyond belief...
I trust the Eagle leadership and the coaching staff....
I am not trying to act like Espola but ... if you trust the Eagle leadership why would you have been gone in a heart beat if you heard any rumblings? If you trusted them, wouldn't you trust them to take immediate action and thus stay?
Also just because you did not know does not mean that others did not know. I am not saying that they knew, but it is possible. When I was in high school I kept asking a girl out, she was gorgeous but never seemed to be dating anyone. She turned me down each time. It was only at a high school reunion that I learned that she had an affair with a married teacher and that is why she never dated. Some teachers knew as well as a lot of students, including the teacher's daughter who was a friend of the girl. Everyone had a good laugh that I did not have a clue.
I would have left to protect my dd's ... no rumblings, no rumors...
As I said to know VT and to know this happened is beyond belief...it's terribly sad for all involved. I still have a hard time wrapping my mind around this.
I interacted with VT everyother week day and countless soccer weekends, for many years, never saw anything, suspected anything, nothing.
You all have a great day...