Some great battle of Truth versus Lie in girls rec soccer?
No. This is the kind of ordinary decision parents and coaches make all the time. When can you be kind, and when do you have to hold a harder line.
So, who decides if the MTF athlete is too good for a rec program? coaches and division coordinator, same as always. You keep an eye on her, and nudge her into the boys side if her level of play is more similar to the boys division. Good programs already do this to nudge top rec players into comp.
There is no collegiate ranking I would consider low skill. All NCAA teams are high skill, and ought to follow original birth certificate + DNA. Lia Thomas should have to compete against the boys.