Parents from certain teams

outside! said:
SD County seems to have a surplus of youth referees. My son has not been able to get any games assigned to him this summer.
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I agree with Baldref. He should be getting games. Between the two main referee associations in San Diego there should be enough opportunities to referee. There are tournaments every weekend for the remainder of the summer. Baldy and I get emails from the San Diego assigners multiple times a week who are looking for referees of all skill levels. SDCSRA also has ELRP which mentors new referees during 9v9 games and is a great program with top referees in the center and as mentors.

PM, Baldref and I. We can give you contacts.
 
Definitelynotanotherref said:
I will be the first to admit that there are some refs that don't do themselves any favors. But taking it upon yourself to attempt to publically humiliate another human being does absolutely nothing positive.
1: It teaches your kids a lack of respect for authority. You think your kids will always have great bosses? Why don't you just teach your kid "If you have a bad boss, fuck him, and tell it to his face". It does not matter if authority is wielding its power ineffectively, Authority is authority, and you will not get far in life if you throw a temper tantrum everytime you think you could have done something better than your boss.
2: It teaches your children to "tilt" when faced with adversity. Harassing the referee just takes your kids focus off soccer. Instead of trying to win, some kids become more obsessed with counting how many fouls the ref calls against them. I see it all the time. You think they can mentally stew on referees mistakes and then be able to track the man he is supposed to be marking from his peripheral vision while making a heads up counterattack? No.
3: The bad referee is just going to view himself as a martyr and become further set in his ways. If a referee is ever going to be told he did a bad job, it will most likely be by one of his peers and it most certainly will not be said in public. The last person a referee will ever have an "aha" moment from is a pissed off parent.
4: It detracts from being able to enjoy potentially good game. Self explanatory.
5: It makes you look like a child. No seriously. Search "bad referee" or any other derivation in YouTube and find me a video where the parents comes off as looking better than the referee. There isn't one. Even when the referee completely missed an obvious call, somehow the parents always look like more of a whiny ass.

I have never seen a referee make a call just because the other teams asks for it. It may seem that way because 1: there is actually a literal amount of time it takes to physically bring the whistle to the mouth (jesus parents). 2: Referees are waiting for advantage 3. The referee has no clue what happened and is looking for clues and is replaying the play in his head 4. He is human and is trying to remember which way red is attacking this half.

Calm down, cheer or shut up, and watch the game.
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Hey Mijo, I believe you are sincere and know a lot of good refs. We all see the other type too often. How many times have we seen a ref making bad calls only to find out he has a niece or friend of a family member on the team or make it obvious they are amigos with parents on one of the teams. Bad calls, free kicks, extra minutes. Not fair to the players.
 
timbuck said:
I think that most parents go into games with good intentions.
But then their kid gets roughed up a bit and it all goes to hell.
Or they overhear a parent from another team say something slightly disparaging about a kid.
"Push her BACK!!!!!." "Don't let her push you." "Honey, dont you dare push my kid again" (I've heard all of these several times this Spring - Girls u14 games).

Overheard this weekend by 3 dads who wanted to show off their football throwing skills for everyone during halftime:
"I heard this team we are playing brought players from their higher team for this game." (Reality was it was a holiday weekend and guests were invited because a few kids weren't planning to be back in time. They wound up showing up and we had more on our bench than we had planned). Didn't matter -we lost anyway.
"Geez. That's so weak. Too bad we are going to crush them anyway." (then he repeated it at least 3 times to make sure that everyone could hear him).
Took a lot for me to keep quiet, because even the slightest response would have wound up being an issue.
The simplest thing that I thought to say was "We? You guys should probably stick to throwing the football around and let the 11 year old girls play the game."
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There are teams in particular with parents who behave badly. What influences or drives the behaviors? Either their coach is embarrassed by it or approves of it. In these cases probably the coaches covertly like it but pretend not to and would not condone if questioned. I’m referring to those teams we all experience where the parents act like the are cheering on a fight in a prison vs a youth sport. Sometimes followed by loud comments and even threats of violence. Some even look like they just got out of prison or on some type of weekend leave. Bad environment for everyone concerned.
 
MijoPlumber said:
Hey Mijo, I believe you are sincere and know a lot of good refs. We all see the other type too often. How many times have we seen a ref making bad calls only to find out he has a niece or friend of a family member on the team or make it obvious they are amigos with parents on one of the teams. Bad calls, free kicks, extra minutes. Not fair to the players.
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garbage
 
MijoPlumber said:
Hey Mijo, I believe you are sincere and know a lot of good refs. We all see the other type too often. How many times have we seen a ref making bad calls only to find out he has a niece or friend of a family member on the team or make it obvious they are amigos with parents on one of the teams. Bad calls, free kicks, extra minutes. Not fair to the players.
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Never seen it and my dd’s are 04’s, so they’ve played roughly 360 games (approx. 60 games/yr for 6 years).
 
MijoPlumber said:
Hey Mijo, I believe you are sincere and know a lot of good refs. We all see the other type too often. How many times have we seen a ref making bad calls only to find out he has a niece or friend of a family member on the team or make it obvious they are amigos with parents on one of the teams. Bad calls, free kicks, extra minutes. Not fair to the players.
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Although I have seen losing parents complain about it, I have never seen it.
 
MijoPlumber said:
Hey Mijo, I believe you are sincere and know a lot of good refs. We all see the other type too often. How many times have we seen a ref making bad calls only to find out he has a niece or friend of a family member on the team or make it obvious they are amigos with parents on one of the teams. Bad calls, free kicks, extra minutes. Not fair to the players.
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I suppose you also believe there is a secret alien base under Antarctica and aliens control the governments of the world. I referee games almost every weekend where I know at least one of the coaches and some of the parents. By your logic, I make calls/no calls based on my friendships. You could ask those coaches and they would all tell you that I am impartial and my friendships do not hold any weight when deciding what fouls to call or how much time to add. I have even thrown a coach, longtime friend, out of a game and then had beers with him a few day later. None of the referees, that also know numerous coaches and parents, I know would base their calls on a friendship with a coach or parent. You are probably one of those parents on the sideline that yell, "ref stop being a homer" or "hometown ref." You may have even been that parent at OCGP a few weeks ago that got sent to the parking lot for yelling, "F*$king hometown OC ref calling everything for Slammers." Little did the parent know that I am from San Diego and not OC.
 
Surfref said:
I suppose you also believe there is a secret alien base under Antarctica and aliens control the governments of the world. I referee games almost every weekend where I know at least one of the coaches and some of the parents. By your logic, I make calls/no calls based on my friendships. You could ask those coaches and they would all tell you that I am impartial and my friendships do not hold any weight when deciding what fouls to call or how much time to add. I have even thrown a coach, longtime friend, out of a game and then had beers with him a few day later. None of the referees, that also know numerous coaches and parents, I know would base their calls on a friendship with a coach or parent. You are probably one of those parents on the sideline that yell, "ref stop being a homer" or "hometown ref." You may have even been that parent at OCGP a few weeks ago that got sent to the parking lot for yelling, "F*$king hometown OC ref calling everything for Slammers." Little did the parent know that I am from San Diego and not OC.
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I would think that it has to be the most embarrassing thing for the kid to see his/her parent being kicked off the game.
 
Eagle33 said:
I would think that it has to be the most embarrassing thing for the kid to see his/her parent being kicked off the game.
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You would think the parent would be embarrassed too
But alas, usually not the case. I’ve had parents want to box on the field after a u13 game. I have given up trying to figure some people out
 
MijoPlumber said:
Hey Mijo, I believe you are sincere and know a lot of good refs. We all see the other type too often. How many times have we seen a ref making bad calls only to find out he has a niece or friend of a family member on the team or make it obvious they are amigos with parents on one of the teams. Bad calls, free kicks, extra minutes. Not fair to the players.
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Pobrecito. Yeah strange, its almost like parents that are friendly and respectful of authority seem to do weird things like "talk to the referee" and "make him smile"... suspicious wankers.
 
Surfref said:
I suppose you also believe there is a secret alien base under Antarctica and aliens control the governments of the world. I referee games almost every weekend where I know at least one of the coaches and some of the parents. By your logic, I make calls/no calls based on my friendships. You could ask those coaches and they would all tell you that I am impartial and my friendships do not hold any weight when deciding what fouls to call or how much time to add. I have even thrown a coach, longtime friend, out of a game and then had beers with him a few day later. None of the referees, that also know numerous coaches and parents, I know would base their calls on a friendship with a coach or parent. You are probably one of those parents on the sideline that yell, "ref stop being a homer" or "hometown ref." You may have even been that parent at OCGP a few weeks ago that got sent to the parking lot for yelling, "F*$king hometown OC ref calling everything for Slammers." Little did the parent know that I am from San Diego and not OC.
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Hey Mijo. Nope not me! That must have been those aliens you were referring to. You have a galactic imagination. Maybe you are seeing things on the field as well.

Let’s be clear we see it happen on a regular basis.
Of the 40-50 games my Mija plays per year I would say at least 10 have horrendous caca de toro referees. Agree some refs and coaches do know each other and clearly some hate each other and some support each other, it’s obvious.

At a game in Norco the center ref was related do one of the players. They called her aunt and the AR was also related! Same situation in Temecula. What a joke!

Your denial this CACA happens shows all of us how blind you choose to be of the facts.
 
Eagle33 said:
I would think that it has to be the most embarrassing thing for the kid to see his/her parent being kicked off the game.
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Mijo, Agree and they look like idiots!
That is no excuse for bad refereeing. Maybe all you honorable refs should get on the bad refs to step up or get out.
 
baldref said:
I’d rather get the insane parents out

Get out
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Mijo, I believe you really do care whether the game is managed fair and impartial. You seem to be one of the honorable people and I would it want to be out there getting yelled at needlessly either.

I too would like to see the insane out of control parents shut up. They detract from the game and annoy everyone.

Maybe leagues should institute new policy on parent behavior and fine offending teams.
 
MijoPlumber,

I have been videoing both of my kids games for over 5 years now. I am able to go frame by frame on a large monitor. I used to spend a lot of time reviewing "questionable" calls. I found that most of the time, the ref was either absolutely correct, or that it was a close enough call that I could see that the ref made the best call possible in real time without VAR. I have also seen some bad calls, but not as many as you would think. As your player gets older, and if she plays at a higher level, the quality of the referees will get better.
 
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