ECNL vs. DA turf war has created a 'toxic environment'

[Kicker4Life]

Keep in mind Kicker your dd is 2023. No pressure for most 2023s but I could imagine if I put myself in your shoes (I do that sometimes) your dd would feel a tad little more pressure than the other Unicorns (total joke, you know me, I hope) because of a certain list she is on? Are you saying you had no "opportunities" that someone was telling you could happen if you pick up the phone? The top Unicorns in 2022 had pressure if they wanted $$$$$$$$ towards school and have 90% paid for or more. How do you think the phone calls went with them? Just curious. Today's 7th or 8th grader grader won't be having that phone call now. which is soooooooooo gooooooooooood for our DAUGHTERS. I'm happy your dd got to practice her phone calling and I mean that with respect. I know other 2022s who did it for that reason as well. I am starting to get concerned for some of them because maybe they, shoulda, coulda, woulda taken the deal $$$ at ASU instaed of hoping USC or UCLA will coma knocking. Maybe they still will???? Come on Kicker, were not hearing about the other 8 that it went horrible for. MAP and few are stoked and that's great for them.

90% of her closest friends are 2022’s. I’ve spent a lot of time with these parents and have listened and watched intently. Some are YNT players, some are DA and some ECNL. When I say “my experience” I’m not just talking about my DD’s experience.

Yes, we had 2 schools (good schools that my DD likes) try to apply pressure (one more than the other). But my DD and I made a pact that there would not be any committing before the summer after her Freshman year (this was prior to the new rule). So we really weren’t feeling any pressure only the perception of it.

I’m really not sure what it is you want someone to say. There are dozens of Unicorns out there at the 2022 age group that haven’t committed and remember NOT ONE HAS SIGNED ON THE DOTTED LINE YET. So my advice, don’t look backwards at what you think you missed. Nothing you can do but give yourself brain damage. You’ve obviously learned a lot from your experience....mainly what to avoid. But your DD still loves the game, has a fantastic Coach and parents who support her. She is poised for success, enjoy the journey.

We have used the team at ScoutingZone to help in the process. I highly recommend them.

 

[MakeAPlay]

@Ellejustus You have lots of people giving you mad love. You should just chill and enjoy the ride. Soon enough you will be where I am at which is close to the end. My kid is not a kid anymore (she turned 21 at the end of May) and she is studying for the LSAT and deciding whether she wants to play in England, France, Spain, Germany or the NWSL. The days of driving her to practice and tournaments are over. No more making sure all of her stuff is in her soccer bag. No more talking on the way to the game about who they are going to play and what I know about them. Now they have professional scouting reports on opponents and have seen hours of game film on them. Enjoy the journey because truth be told it really is about the journey and not the destination. Remember no matter how good a player is it can all be taken away in an instant. Not to mention unless they are that one or two players per birth year that are going to make the full WNT then this is a labor of love that better include a plan "B" that is really your plan "A."


Good luck to you and your player.

 

[Ellejustus]

90% of her closest friends are 2022’s. I’ve spent a lot of time with these parents and have listened and watched intently. Some are YNT players, some are DA and some ECNL. When I say “my experience” I’m not just talking about my DD’s experience.

Yes, we had 2 schools (good schools that my DD likes) try to apply pressure (one more than the other). But my DD and I made a pact that there would not be any committing before the summer after her Freshman year (this was prior to the new rule). So we really weren’t feeling any pressure only the perception of it.

I’m really not sure what it is you want someone to say. There are dozens of Unicorns out there at the 2022 age group that haven’t committed and remember NOT ONE HAS SIGNED ON THE DOTTED LINE YET. So my advice, don’t look backwards at what you think you missed. Nothing you can do but give yourself brain damage. You’ve obviously learned a lot from your experience....mainly what to avoid. But your DD still loves the game, has a fantastic Coach and parents who support her. She is poised for success, enjoy the journey.

We have used the team at ScoutingZone to help in the process. I highly recommend them.

Kicker, thanks. I'm almost done. So she was in 8th grade, right? That's all I'm bitter about. I will come back a year from now and see how things are going on the forum. I had to leave for obvious reason.... Go GOATS for ever!!!!.

 

[Dubs]

The shit you're hearing regarding making quick decisions is the "chatter" I'm talking about.
Its not chatter.....its true. It already happened. You think I would be on here to make this shit up? Before, UCLA would hold on to their "tickets" into paradise until a little later like sophomore year. All the top coaches new about the "new rule." Your kid got to wait a little longer, right? Still bad but better. "Attention K Mart Shoppers, the NCAA has changed the rules for the girls. However, they have two months to find 8 studs (really been watching from a far probably since 6th grade) so send your emails quickly and set up your phone call through your trusted coach who only has the best in mind for your dd.....hurry,
hurry, hurry.......

Don't misinterpret what I'm saying.... I'm not saying the "chatter" is not true. A club coach putting pressure on your kid to make a decision is attrocious. I sure hope your DD is not playing for that coach. I also completely understand the pressure she and her teammates may have gotten from college coaches as well since they wanted to commit girls before the rule change. The 2022s that are 03s that play with my DD experienced that as well as the 04 team at our club. Some committed and some did not. Eventhough these things are real, I point back to what I said about this being your DD and your family's choice on how to handle the situation. If there is a lot of interest now, there will be down the road as well (provided she keeps ballin and keeps up her grades) when she's ready to make her mind up about what she wants to do. Financially, it is impossible to know how much money any one school has or is willing to give to any recruit. If you hear that all the money is gone, IMO that is also "chatter" unless you hear that directly from the coach themselves during your negotiation. That is precisely why the journey is unique to each player. What is most important? Do you need a ride? Do you need half? This is all part of the process. It will work out so long as you're letting your kid drive the process while giving her the guidance any good parent would provide along the way. Don't let these other things distract you or your kid from whatever her goal might be.

 

[Kicker4Life]

Kicker, thanks. I'm almost done. So she was in 8th grade, right? That's all I'm bitter about. I will come back a year from now and see how things are going on the forum. I had to leave for obvious reason.... Go GOATS for ever!!!!.

Yes, she starts HS this Fall. However her 2022 friends are all starting their Sophmore year.

If College is a goal, I do recommend for her to start writing letters and organizing highlight reels to attach.

 

[Ellejustus]

Yes, she starts HS this Fall. However her 2022 friends are all starting their Sophmore year.

If College is a goal, I do recommend for her to start writing letters and organizing highlight reels to attach.

Kicker, she's going to play hard for two years and wait for the call. Will it come or does she have to go through a middle man? We shall see but I want the middle man out of this circus. If they don't by her SR year and she wants to play in college, I will hire someone to put a video together and send it out.

 

[Dummy]

@Ellejustus You have lots of people giving you mad love. You should just chill and enjoy the ride. Soon enough you will be where I am at which is close to the end. My kid is not a kid anymore (she turned 21 at the end of May) and she is studying for the LSAT and deciding whether she wants to play in England, France, Spain, Germany or the NWSL. The days of driving her to practice and tournaments are over. No more making sure all of her stuff is in her soccer bag. No more talking on the way to the game about who they are going to play and what I know about them. Now they have professional scouting reports on opponents and have seen hours of game film on them. Enjoy the journey because truth be told it really is about the journey and not the destination. Remember no matter how good a player is it can all be taken away in an instant. Not to mention unless they are that one or two players per birth year that are going to make the full WNT then this is a labor of love that better include a plan "B" that is really your plan "A."


Good luck to you and your player.

Thank you for sharing your family’s experiences the way that you do. Most of us are trying to figure out where are daughters fit into the whole scheme of things, and your openness is helpful in putting our experiences into context.

I know that everyone thinks that they want their daughter to be recruited, but I am not convinced that leaving fate to the college coaches is best for most players. My daughter is a wonderful player could never be as athletic as yours no matter what she did, so she was not going to be recruited at UCLA’s and Stanford’s. The coach at MIT told her that players at MIT recruit themselves to MIT, which means something very specific at MIT. As we visited other schools, we realized that players there often recruit themselves too, which means different things at different places. One of her very athletic friends won a National Championship with Florida State because she recruited herself onto the scout team (she played less than 45-minutes game time for the entire season and loved her experience).

You are right - having and helping a player formulate a realistic “plan A” is something that soccer parent owes his or her player.

Thank you again for your willingness to share your family’s experiences.

 

[Ellejustus]

@Ellejustus You have lots of people giving you mad love. You should just chill and enjoy the ride. Soon enough you will be where I am at which is close to the end. My kid is not a kid anymore (she turned 21 at the end of May) and she is studying for the LSAT and deciding whether she wants to play in England, France, Spain, Germany or the NWSL. The days of driving her to practice and tournaments are over. No more making sure all of her stuff is in her soccer bag. No more talking on the way to the game about who they are going to play and what I know about them. Now they have professional scouting reports on opponents and have seen hours of game film on them. Enjoy the journey because truth be told it really is about the journey and not the destination. Remember no matter how good a player is it can all be taken away in an instant. Not to mention unless they are that one or two players per birth year that are going to make the full WNT then this is a labor of love that better include a plan "B" that is really your plan "A."


Good luck to you and your player.

Thanks, that's a cool story for you guys. I'm only shedding light on US Soccer making it a lot tougher for kids.

 

[MakeAPlay]

Thanks, that's a cool story for you guys. I'm only shedding light on US Soccer making it a lot tougher for kids.

I wish that I could trade places with you if only to enjoy the countless hours that you still get to spend with your daughter under your roof. Summer always reminds me of how it used to be. Don’t get caught up in the chaos around you. Just enjoy your player’s labor of love and the fact that you get to share it with her. Trust me you won’t care about the scores or the championships or even the destination as much as she will enjoy that you were taking it with her.

Good luck to you and your player.

 

[MakeAPlay]

Thank you for sharing your family’s experiences the way that you do. Most of us are trying to figure out where are daughters fit into the whole scheme of things, and your openness is helpful in putting our experiences into context.

I know that everyone thinks that they want their daughter to be recruited, but I am not convinced that leaving fate to the college coaches is best for most players. My daughter is a wonderful player could never be as athletic as yours no matter what she did, so she was not going to be recruited at UCLA’s and Stanford’s. The coach at MIT told her that players at MIT recruit themselves to MIT, which means something very specific at MIT. As we visited other schools, we realized that players there often recruit themselves too, which means different things at different places. One of her very athletic friends won a National Championship with Florida State because she recruited herself onto the scout team (she played less than 45-minutes game time for the entire season and loved her experience).

You are right - having and helping a player formulate a realistic “plan A” is something that soccer parent owes his or her player.

Thank you again for your willingness to share your family’s experiences.

Thanks for the kind words and your player picking such an amazing school is a testament to her hard work on and off the field.

Good luck to you and your player.

 

[MakeAPlay]

Thanks, that's a cool story for you guys. I'm only shedding light on US Soccer making it a lot tougher for kids.

Oh yeah and US Soccer sucks. I still have to cheer for the USA. We aren’t perfect but we could be in Somalia or worse Palestine.

 

[beachbum]

Kicker, she's going to play hard for two years and wait for the call. Will it come or does she have to go through a middle man? We shall see but I want the middle man out of this circus. If they don't by her SR year and she wants to play in college, I will hire someone to put a video together and send it out.

My two cents. If your daughter even thinks that she may want to play in college, you are going to have to put some work in now. It's as simple as consistently writing to schools that she may want to attend for soccer or not. You can get all of the coach's emails by searching "athletic directory college(UCLA)", then send a introduction letter letting them know that you are interested in their school/program and just starting the process. Then follow up with them on a fairly regular basis with updates on game times/ tournament/showcase game times etc. If you wait unless she is that unicorn, generally they will not come knocking. They want love just like you want your DD to be loved by them.

 

[Ellejustus]

My two cents. If your daughter even thinks that she may want to play in college, you are going to have to put some work in now. It's as simple as consistently writing to schools that she may want to attend for soccer or not. You can get all of the coach's emails by searching "athletic directory college(UCLA)", then send a introduction letter letting them know that you are interested in their school/program and just starting the process. Then follow up with them on a fairly regular basis with updates on game times/ tournament/showcase game times etc. If you wait unless she is that unicorn, generally they will not come knocking. They want love just like you want your DD to be loved by them.

This past season was a quick "Hi" at the Id Camp and then a few quick phone calls with your future coach that might not be there in 5 years. If you found your dream school in 8th grade and you don't care who da coach will be, you sign up as fast as you can. If you think 7th, 8th and 9th graders are ready for that pressure then u cray cray!!!. This was done way to fast and it was wrong and I don't think this is over yet. If you are the Purple Unicorn I'm sure someone will get to you in 6th grade. I can't wait when June 15th 2020 comes. I promise you this. My dd will not email one coach. She will visit some schools her Jr year and then she will email da coaches. If coaches don't respond then we can talk about JC because she wants to play by da beach. Understand??? I'm not looking at any D1, D2 or NAIA to "pop" around her practices right now. I realized when I told a group of parents a year ago that you don't have to go to college to be successful that I was in the minority. It's like I spoke ill towards the Pope or something. Mike Rowe, we need help here bro. It's a two way date. Dating is good. Divorce is not. Don't say "I do" 4 years before the commitment starts. 2 or 1 year might be a little better. Slow down everyone. Whats the rush????

 

[MakeAPlay]

This past season was a quick "Hi" at the Id Camp and then a few quick phone calls with your future coach that might not be there in 5 years. If you found your dream school in 8th grade and you don't care who da coach will be, you sign up as fast as you can. If you think 7th, 8th and 9th graders are ready for that pressure then u cray cray!!!. This was done way to fast and it was wrong and I don't think this is over yet. If you are the Purple Unicorn I'm sure someone will get to you in 6th grade. I can't wait when June 15th 2020 comes. I promise you this. My dd will not email one coach. She will visit some schools her Jr year and then she will email da coaches. If coaches don't respond then we can talk about JC because she wants to play by da beach. Understand??? I'm not looking at any D1, D2 or NAIA to "pop" around her practices right now. I realized when I told a group of parents a year ago that you don't have to go to college to be successful that I was in the minority. It's like I spoke ill towards the Pope or something. Mike Rowe, we need help here bro. It's a two way date. Dating is good. Divorce is not. Don't say "I do" 4 years before the commitment starts. 2 or 1 year might be a little better. Slow down everyone. Whats the rush????

Sometimes you just know that it is right. When I met my spouse I was at a party and my spouse was so amazing and special that I ditched my friend that I came to the party with and let him know that I was going home with her and her friends.

Sometimes it is just right!

Good luck to you and your player.

 

[Ellejustus]

Sometimes you just know that it is right. When I met my spouse I was at a party and my spouse was so amazing and special that I ditched my friend that I came to the party with and let him know that I was going home with her and her friends.

Sometimes it is just right!

Good luck to you and your player.

Sometimes MAP. But when the divorce rate is 80% then we have a problem. You r one smart dude too. You pick right a lot. Glad for ya. I met my wife and it was love at first site. However, I did take my time before I got on my knees. Dating is good Speed dating is coming June 15th, 2020.

 

[SD_Soccer]

This past season was a quick "Hi" at the Id Camp and then a few quick phone calls with your future coach that might not be there in 5 years. If you found your dream school in 8th grade and you don't care who da coach will be, you sign up as fast as you can. If you think 7th, 8th and 9th graders are ready for that pressure then u cray cray!!!. This was done way to fast and it was wrong and I don't think this is over yet. If you are the Purple Unicorn I'm sure someone will get to you in 6th grade. I can't wait when June 15th 2020 comes. I promise you this. My dd will not email one coach. She will visit some schools her Jr year and then she will email da coaches. If coaches don't respond then we can talk about JC because she wants to play by da beach. Understand??? I'm not looking at any D1, D2 or NAIA to "pop" around her practices right now. I realized when I told a group of parents a year ago that you don't have to go to college to be successful that I was in the minority. It's like I spoke ill towards the Pope or something. Mike Rowe, we need help here bro. It's a two way date. Dating is good. Divorce is not. Don't say "I do" 4 years before the commitment starts. 2 or 1 year might be a little better. Slow down everyone. Whats the rush????

So if she knows she wants to play by the beach (and if that is more important than how good the team is), why not reach out to the coaches of the schools that meet that criteria (e.g., Santa Barbara)? You are getting a lot of very good advice from a lot of people who have been through the process. What harm is there in reaching out to the limited number of universities that meet the criteria (I assume you mean California university near the beach)? It is not that long a list to send out a few emails and show she is interested in them. Money available will likely diminish if you wait too long. Does not mean she has to commit earlier than you prefer-- if they really want her, they will wait and not take the offer back. But if you don't have the offer, it is less likely money will be there to get the offer you may get now (or soon) when you feel she is ready to make a decision on where to attend. And if you get an offer, you can use that as leverage to try to get more money from other schools. Very few players (CM at Stanford) can wait for schools to find them and expect to get as much money as they may like. For the rest, it takes a bit of effort to maximize the outcome (right school, most money).

 

[Ellejustus]

So if she knows she wants to play by the beach (and if that is more important than how good the team is), why not reach out to the coaches of the schools that meet that criteria (e.g., Santa Barbara)? You are getting a lot of very good advice from a lot of people who have been through the process. What harm is there in reaching out to the limited number of universities that meet the criteria (I assume you mean California university near the beach)? It is not that long a list to send out a few emails and show she is interested in them. Money available will likely diminish if you wait too long. Does not mean she has to commit earlier than you prefer-- if they really want her, they will wait and not take the offer back. But if you don't have the offer, it is less likely money will be there to get the offer you may get now (or soon) when you feel she is ready to make a decision on where to attend. And if you get an offer, you can use that as leverage to try to get more money from other schools. Very few players (CM at Stanford) can wait for schools to find them and expect to get as much money as they may like. For the rest, it takes a bit of effort to maximize the outcome (right school, most money).

Nevermind......

 

[Ellejustus]

So if she knows she wants to play by the beach (and if that is more important than how good the team is), why not reach out to the coaches of the schools that meet that criteria (e.g., Santa Barbara)? You are getting a lot of very good advice from a lot of people who have been through the process. What harm is there in reaching out to the limited number of universities that meet the criteria (I assume you mean California university near the beach)? It is not that long a list to send out a few emails and show she is interested in them. Money available will likely diminish if you wait too long. Does not mean she has to commit earlier than you prefer-- if they really want her, they will wait and not take the offer back. But if you don't have the offer, it is less likely money will be there to get the offer you may get now (or soon) when you feel she is ready to make a decision on where to attend. And if you get an offer, you can use that as leverage to try to get more money from other schools. Very few players (CM at Stanford) can wait for schools to find them and expect to get as much money as they may like. For the rest, it takes a bit of effort to maximize the outcome (right school, most money).

We want big football power by beach only for right now. 2 years to decide, no? Is that possible? I'm willing to pay for books, 99% tuition and stay away from the practices. Just need some help to get in the door. Soccer does that, no? Trying hard to make da list too but getting harder and harder these days. Need to be on da list Help Help, how do non da players make da list......anyone, please, anyone help. $$$$ are all gone. Please, I'm losing my marbles, please, quick quick

 

[MakeAPlay]

Sometimes MAP. But when the divorce rate is 80% then we have a problem. You r one smart dude too. You pick right a lot. Glad for ya. I met my wife and it was love at first site. However, I did take my time before I got on my knees. Dating is good Speed dating is coming June 15th, 2020.

The divorce rate isn't nearly that high for D1. Most kids are pretty happy with their decision especially when it is done pragmatically. Even my kid, who has two parents that are athletic alums of her current school, had to go through the process and she almost chose Stanford! She took a trip to all three of her choices and settled on her current one after some deliberation. Her current school was the first that she contacted but the last to make an offer. I am on my second marriage so I make my fair share of mistakes. One of my player's old teammates was a late add to the recruiting class. She got noticed late spring of her junior year of high school when she was playing against a player that was already committed to the team. She got an offer and committed. Initially she wasn't getting much money (I know because she told my player) but after her second year as a starter (she started most of the games her freshman year) she earned a significant bump in money and was even a top NWSL draft pick. Just pick the school first, not the coach nor the soccer program and everything else will work itself out.

Good luck to you and your player.

 

[MakeAPlay]

So if she knows she wants to play by the beach (and if that is more important than how good the team is), why not reach out to the coaches of the schools that meet that criteria (e.g., Santa Barbara)? You are getting a lot of very good advice from a lot of people who have been through the process. What harm is there in reaching out to the limited number of universities that meet the criteria (I assume you mean California university near the beach)? It is not that long a list to send out a few emails and show she is interested in them. Money available will likely diminish if you wait too long. Does not mean she has to commit earlier than you prefer-- if they really want her, they will wait and not take the offer back. But if you don't have the offer, it is less likely money will be there to get the offer you may get now (or soon) when you feel she is ready to make a decision on where to attend. And if you get an offer, you can use that as leverage to try to get more money from other schools. Very few players (CM at Stanford) can wait for schools to find them and expect to get as much money as they may like. For the rest, it takes a bit of effort to maximize the outcome (right school, most money).

Catarina didn't wait. She had her deal with Stanford locked up but was waiting until she got her acceptance letter to announce it. As soon as her old coach Chris Lemay left Cal their 2017 recruiting class fell apart. She only considered two other schools. Even Mallory Pugh committed as a sophomore.

 

[Ellejustus]

Catarina didn't wait. She had her deal with Stanford locked up but was waiting until she got her acceptance letter to announce it. As soon as her old coach Chris Lemay left Cal their 2017 recruiting class fell apart. She only considered two other schools. Even Mallory Pugh committed as a sophomore.

The only one I heard of is MP. I'm not looking for college MAP right now and neither is my kid. She wants to play, play, play, play soccer, soccer, soccer, soccer without interruptions and yes, play HS Soccer too. You think one of the big schools might have a few bucks when my dd is a JR/SR? How about just a spot on the roster and I''ll pay for it? I'm seriously asking because I have no clue.