Do you think if a club has an issue of a coach having inappropriate relations with a child it...

Soccer43 said:
Parents continue to allow grown men to treat their teenage and younger daughters in all sorts of questionable and innapropriate ways. Out of fear, discomfort, intimidation, or bullying by the coach and club. Speak up, ask questions, stop being afraid to question or challenge a coach or the club. These are our daughters and we are both the paying customer and the parents. Coaches are accountable to us not the other way around.
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I wish I could agree with this 40 times.
 
It's amazing. Do they not not require annual sexual harassment seminars like every other business? I've long been a proponent of teaching self-advocacy starting in pre-K.
 
sandshark said:
I will not get into names (YET) but Albion SC (San Diego) had a coach in FL last month that was coaching one of their girl DA teams and was found to be having an "inappropriate relationship" with an under aged girl on one of his teams. Albion called the coach and told him to pack his stuff and come home, they fired him when he got back to SD.

Problem is this is not a total surprise to Albion because this coach was accused of the same type of stuff on the East Coast about 17 years ago, a couple parents brought this to Albion's attention about 3 years ago (RE: coach having been in court accused of an inappropriate relationship with a minor.) Albion's response was that they feel it is not important because it was unfounded. Ok, but what we all want to know is.. has Albion issued a warning to all the past families that this coach has come in contact with their children? I am going to guess they have not because they do not want to taint their reputation and will not risk any loss of money.
What are your thoughts as parents?
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Why would any parent allow their child to be around someone who’s been suspected of that behavior? Are the parents that lame? Why not confront the animal?
 
GoldenFjord said:
It's amazing. Do they not not require annual sexual harassment seminars like every other business? I've long been a proponent of teaching self-advocacy starting in pre-K.
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Toch said:
Why would any parent allow their child to be around someone who’s been suspected of that behavior? Are the parents that lame? Why not confront the animal?
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parents felt they were providing the very best care for their athletes. He was physician to the “gymnastics stars” Allegations were kept quiet. These guys don’t just groom the kids, they groom the parents.
 
smellycleats said:
parents felt they were providing the very best care for their athletes. He was physician to the “gymnastics stars” Allegations were kept quiet. These guys don’t just groom the kids, they groom the parents.
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Nailed it. How many parents in SoCal have allowed their daughters to have a coach who bullied and verbally abuses them because it's an all star team? How many have allowed things like pay to pay, questionable ethics, infantile demands regarding communication (text me and not your parents) to continue because they didn't want to hurt their daughter?
We justify it - he's a great coach, it's not that bad, he's tough on them, it's just his way of getting through to them as they slowly lose their fire, and sometimes their self esteem.
It's all a grooming process to either emotionally or physically abuse.
Their personal lives (the coaches) also reflect a lot about the types of men they are and families should absolutely take cues from that.
Maybe they will address this topic at their annual coaching convention in Philadelphia. Doubt it- they are too busy learning from Beast Mode how to "build their brand through social media".
 
smellycleats said:
parents felt they were providing the very best care for their athletes. He was physician to the “gymnastics stars” Allegations were kept quiet. These guys don’t just groom the kids, they groom the parents.
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Of all the abuse stories I've read recently this may be the most horrific. Many of these young girls were mentally abused by the Olympic coach-- and then their "escape" was to go get physically abused by the Olympic "doctor."

The parents didn't know about the physical abuse, or they did not want to see or believe it. But they were sitting right there watching their daughters get mentally abused. I'll bet most every parent there told their girls to buck it up too, at least once. Olympic coach must know what he's doing... And we all want our kids to be Olympians, right?

Mental abuse can be also be terribly devastating to a young person. In fact, it may have led some of them to simply accept the physical abuse since they were already so traumatized by the verbal and psychological assault.

Beware parents! Listen carefully to the words thrown at your 9-year-old girls, your 12 year-olds, and your 16 year-olds by adults in authority. If it strikes you as cruel or abusive in any way, then leave the situation! For better or for worse, the situations we put our children in mold them for life. Physical abuse is intolerable. Mental abuse should be unacceptable as well.
 
It all comes down to respect. Either the coaches respect their players or they don't. I have done my best to make sure my players have coaches that respect them. I just found out that my favorite coach as a child molested at least one young female (I am male), so what do I know. I may post a more complete story after some reflection.
 
I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
glad that you caught that I missed an o in two.

If you think they hitting the dumb button on all of us deeply hurts us, that means it is upsetting to you. So of course I will do it back to the likes of someone like you.
 
Real Deal said:

Mental abuse can be also be terribly devastating to a young person. In fact, it may have led some of them to simply accept the physical abuse since they were already so traumatized by the verbal and psychological assault.

Beware parents! Listen carefully to the words thrown at your 9-year-old girls, your 12 year-olds, and your 16 year-olds by adults in authority. If it strikes you as cruel or abusive in any way, then leave the situation! For better or for worse, the situations we put our children in mold them for life. Physical abuse is intolerable. Mental abuse should be unacceptable as well.
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This is one reason I like, especially at the younger ages, teams and parents to be on the same sidelines. I think it is important for parents to hear what coaches are saying during games. I also don't like when a coach pulls a player to the side by themselves. I believe in the rule of 3.
 
outside! said:
It all comes down to respect. Either the coaches respect their players or they don't. I have done my best to make sure my players have coaches that respect them. I just found out that my favorite coach as a child molested at least one young female (I am male), so what do I know. I may post a more complete story after some reflection.
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It’s ok outside. Can’t always tell the bad guys from the good guys.
 
Fact said:
This is one reason I like, especially at the younger ages, teams and parents to be on the same sidelines. I think it is important for parents to hear what coaches are saying during games. I also don't like when a coach pulls a player to the side by themselves. I believe in the rule of 3.
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Ulittle parents get a lot of grief. I think they have the hardest job now. I think that they are sold lies and propanganda more than anyone and believe it out of fear or just not knowing enough.
I have been more calm the last two years because I know my daughters success is not tied to one particular coach or team. When you have a 12 and younger it feels more "frantic" . I wish more of them would understand that they don't have to put up with abuse, or emotional manipulation, dismissive behavior. Every a**hole coach who was an A team coach at u8-11 for my DD has been either fired or exposed for the frauds they were.
These guys hold grudges too. I have heard horror stories from their younger tryouts this last week.
 
Toch said:
Why would any parent allow their child to be around someone who’s been suspected of that behavior? Are the parents that lame? Why not confront the animal?
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Easy.....just like this forum people know but dont out the coach. So some know and others that just drop off their kids dont and so they are possible victims
 
Wow I got to the show late. I might have missed it but did anyone say who it is? If not why are you protecting him? He quietly leaves town and Now he moves to another club, in another part of the country and does it again. WTF? the catholic church did this crap. They kept passing the abusers. That is how these guys stay around kids. People that know won't say who it is. YOUR SILENCE MAKE YOU AN ENABLER AND CULPABLE USA gymnastics is cleaning house after that F-er ruined so many lives with those women who were little girls. The higher ups knew, they all knew. Some took the money and kept quite so guess what he got more lives to ruin.... So if you know his name they say it. Keep quiet and you are part of the problem
 
sandshark said:
So far we know this.. he was accused of inappropriate relations with (I assume it was girl) an underaged girl about 17 years ago, then what we know next is he moved from the East Coast and got back in the same exact situation of coaching young girls at a club in East County by the name of United Soccer, then went and landed a job at Child Protective services for the county of San Diego...
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Putting everything aside, this claim is utterly shocking. I have worked too many hours in cases involving child protective services. Not sure what "job" he had, but it certainly would have involved one of the most in-depth background investigations of any vocation.

I know nothing about this person, or his background, but if CPS hired him, with the claims that are being made about him, that is unreal. People need to be very careful here.
 
jose said:
Wow I got to the show late. I might have missed it but did anyone say who it is? If not why are you protecting him? He quietly leaves town and Now he moves to another club, in another part of the country and does it again. WTF? the catholic church did this crap. They kept passing the abusers. That is how these guys stay around kids. People that know won't say who it is. YOUR SILENCE MAKE YOU AN ENABLER AND CULPABLE USA gymnastics is cleaning house after that F-er ruined so many lives with those women who were little girls. The higher ups knew, they all knew. Some took the money and kept quite so guess what he got more lives to ruin.... So if you know his name they say it. Keep quiet and you are part of the problem
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It’s pretty obvious who people think it is. This coach is discussed on another thread regarding coach movement. Will someone just say his name? I would say who I suspect it is right now but I’m not a parent from that team, I don’t know this guy and it would only be an educated guess based on other posts. OP, don’t you think you owe it to the soccer community to say who this guy is?
 
smellycleats said:
It’s pretty obvious who people think it is. This coach is discussed on another thread regarding coach movement. Will someone just say his name? I would say who I suspect it is right now but I’m not a parent from that team, I don’t know this guy and it would only be an educated guess based on other posts. OP, don’t you think you owe it to the soccer community to say who this guy is?
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Sandshark, it’s time.
 
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