"top teams where coaches can bring on paying players + win". That's the issue right there though. The boys at the older at least have the MLS Academies to prevent that barrier from happening and to aggregate the top talent. The top girl teams within the ECNL do not.Annoying because on every team my kid has played on there's 1-2 "scholarship" players that the club let's play for free or at a reduced cost.
I've even seen situations where scholorship players play poor but turn around and fund the coach with privates.
If anything the clubs I've seen are very accommodating.
Where you might not see all the free rides given out is on the top teams where coaches can bring on paying players + win. My suspicion is that this is the free ride players gripe.
Also interesting youtube I came across on my earlier point about how the goalkeeper affects everything else. If the coach does not understand the goalkeeper role, he or she simply does not understand the game. What the GK does even if the GK sits there on the line and gives the defender the ball to boot absolutely impacts how the rest of the team can play.