Sexual Harrassment at Surf San Diego

BIGD said:
There is not a single female coach on Surf's website. All male coaching staff. For having such a robust girls program that is just unacceptable. And definitely a red flag.
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I tried to tell folks that you need some women leaders for the girls because the boys are acting like boys. Talk about a frat house. They had bait as well. Euro accent and the pick(s) for Grooming Center & Youth National Team for US Soccer out of the Kimball House in Chicago and they know all the college coaches. It's also alleged that the women employees were also harassed at the Kimball House that was once owned by the mob. Red Flag warning is understatement. I wonder why no women today after I complained to the higher ups 6 years ago?
 
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Soccer43 said:
Female coaches abuse and harass also.
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I remember when one lady coach came to da fields to get a peak of the goats and was really mean. Told my dd coach my kid was not obedient, was disrespectful, goofed off and was having too much fun and 100% not groomable, if that's a word. Good luck to your player(s) in these difficult times.
 
I'm going to say something unpopular. Wish it wasnt true but my experience is that female coaches just arent that good (if "good" is defined only by results) + they tended to get involved in team drama more than a guy ever would.

Consider this, most male coaches I've met dont mind coaching girls but in general prefer boys because of the additional speed and power boys have especially after puberty. I've only seen one female coach a boys team (at Sharks + she was pretty good) women tend to want to coach girls over boys. I get that theres lots of reasons for this but if a coach is completely blind to male or female players they should always gravitate to the boys because of the added speed and power.

Not trying to defend anything Surf has implemented. There has to be female coaches that win. They just need to find them.

Maybe female coaches should be required to coach boys so they get a different perspective on play.
 
Carlsbad7 said:
I'm going to say something unpopular. Wish it wasnt true but my experience is that female coaches just arent that good (if "good" is defined only by results) + they tended to get involved in team drama more than a guy ever would.

Consider this, most male coaches I've met dont mind coaching girls but in general prefer boys because of the additional speed and power boys have especially after puberty. I've only seen one female coach a boys team (at Sharks + she was pretty good) women tend to want to coach girls over boys. I get that theres lots of reasons for this but if a coach is completely blind to male or female players they should always gravitate to the boys because of the added speed and power.

Not trying to defend anything Surf has implemented. There has to be female coaches that win. They just need to find them.

Maybe female coaches should be required to coach boys so they get a different perspective on play.
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Every single woman in the U.S. who can coach soccer has a college degree that is far too valuable to waste spending most of their evenings and weekends coaching kids, which pays terribly and has no future. This is why you don't see many women in waste management, and why you also don't see elite women's coaches at Surf or anywhere. They are both physically demanding jobs that pay terribly and have terrible work hours.

The type of person who tries to make a career out of coaching youth soccer does not have a college degree, barely scraped by in college because they were really only there to play soccer, or came from a foreign country which often makes it hard to find a well paying job commensurate with their non-soccer skills. With very, very few exceptions, the type of person who becomes a professional youth soccer coach just doesn't have a lot of options after they're done playing, or they're just lazy and continue doing the only thing they know. The also tend to be grifters and hustlers who need to work multiple jobs just to get by. These categories of people are almost 100% male. That is how it is and how it will always be.
 
Carlsbad7 said:
I'm going to say something unpopular. Wish it wasnt true but my experience is that female coaches just arent that good (if "good" is defined only by results) + they tended to get involved in team drama more than a guy ever would.

Consider this, most male coaches I've met dont mind coaching girls but in general prefer boys because of the additional speed and power boys have especially after puberty. I've only seen one female coach a boys team (at Sharks + she was pretty good) women tend to want to coach girls over boys. I get that theres lots of reasons for this but if a coach is completely blind to male or female players they should always gravitate to the boys because of the added speed and power.

Not trying to defend anything Surf has implemented. There has to be female coaches that win. They just need to find them.

Maybe female coaches should be required to coach boys so they get a different perspective on play.
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Let's start with a female director overseeing the girls program would be my recommendation. My dd prefers male coaches, minus the screaming, manipulation and anything that is demeaning. Yelling out instructions with a big crowd has to happen.
 
crush said:
Let's start with a female director overseeing the girls program would be my recommendation. My dd prefers male coaches, minus the screaming, manipulation and anything that is demeaning. Yelling out instructions with a big crowd has to happen.
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Been around Clubs with female DOCs. One was significantly worse than their competition. The other was above average.

Dont think a female DOC will be any different than a male DOC. They're just as good at playing favorites + blackballing those that dont fall in line. They might be even better at it than men because they're used to playing social games vs focusing on pure ability only.
 
Carlsbad7 said:
Been around Clubs with female DOCs. One was significantly worse than their competition. The other was above average.

Dont think a female DOC will be any different than a male DOC. They're just as good at playing favorites + blackballing those that dont fall in line. They might be even better at it than men because they're used to playing social games vs focusing on pure ability only.
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You might be right and if you are, this is sad state where were at for the girls game. Pay to play is the problem, moo!
 
crush said:
You might be right and if you are, this is sad state where were at for the girls game. Pay to play is the problem, moo!
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You think that more educated young women will choose youth soccer coach as a profession if you take away the only revenue stream that is necessary to pay them?
 
BIGD said:
There is not a single female coach on Surf's website. All male coaching staff. For having such a robust girls program that is just unacceptable. And definitely a red flag.
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Coach Zak Brahmbhatt is actually “Kelly” she/they are also a coach at Pt. Loma Nazarene. Not sure when the name change came. But still not strong female coach leadership at Surf to help guide these women in this sport. Very unfortunate when on the same training grounds you have Casey Stoney coaching the Wave, maybe Surf should take notice. Haha
 
Sdnative said:
Coach Zak Brahmbhatt is actually “Kelly” she/they are also a coach at Pt. Loma Nazarene. Not sure when the name change came. But still not strong female coach leadership at Surf to help guide these women in this sport. Very unfortunate when on the same training grounds you have Casey Stoney coaching the Wave, maybe Surf should take notice. Haha
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From the WaPo article...

"Of the clubs where leaders lamented the departures of female coaches, just one, St. Louis Scott Gallagher, had a maternity leave policy. Slammers, Khoury admitted, didn’t. Neither did Surf, Henderson said. He noted that when a transgender coach needed two months off to transition, the club gave it to him, and Surf would similarly accommodate women who needed parental leave."

Pretty sure that ZB identifies as male these days.
 
Utah Royals - Arizona has a female director for Girls ECNL, Tiffany Roberts, she's also an assistant coach for USYNT u17s and u19s. For Utah Royals-AZ she's the director as well as coaches two of the girls teams, 09s and 05/04s. We've been fortunate to have her coach two of our DDs. She just brought on another female coach, I believe that makes 3 male and 2 female coaches for the girls program. I'm shocked surf doesn't have a single female coach on there staff considering the size there program.
 
Carlsbad7 said:
I'm going to say something unpopular. Wish it wasnt true but my experience is that female coaches just arent that good (if "good" is defined only by results) + they tended to get involved in team drama more than a guy ever would.

Consider this, most male coaches I've met dont mind coaching girls but in general prefer boys because of the additional speed and power boys have especially after puberty. I've only seen one female coach a boys team (at Sharks + she was pretty good) women tend to want to coach girls over boys. I get that theres lots of reasons for this but if a coach is completely blind to male or female players they should always gravitate to the boys because of the added speed and power.

Not trying to defend anything Surf has implemented. There has to be female coaches that win. They just need to find them.

Maybe female coaches should be required to coach boys so they get a different perspective on play.
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This is not only unpopular is reeks of sexism. If you gave females the top teams at Surf I bet they would win. See how that works. Give top players to any coach and they have a better chance of success.

I dispute your comparison of the boys and girls game. I don't enjoy the boys game. The girls game is more entertaining. To each their own.

By the way, the 2022 NCAA Division 3 men's national champion was coached by a female. Her players spoke of how calm she is and what she brought to the team. So much for the sterotype of drama, huh? Sounds more like the men: Rory Dames (NWSL), Paul Riley (NWSL), Holley (NWSL) all created drama (among other horrific acts) and all were fired for it.

You are sexist. I hope you do not have a daughter or wife.
 
I was really expecting to see some new legal troubles for Surf coaches in this thread. It has been a long time since any of them got in the news.
 
Carlsbad7 said:
I'm going to say something unpopular. Wish it wasnt true but my experience is that female coaches just arent that good (if "good" is defined only by results) + they tended to get involved in team drama more than a guy ever would.

Consider this, most male coaches I've met dont mind coaching girls but in general prefer boys because of the additional speed and power boys have especially after puberty. I've only seen one female coach a boys team (at Sharks + she was pretty good) women tend to want to coach girls over boys. I get that theres lots of reasons for this but if a coach is completely blind to male or female players they should always gravitate to the boys because of the added speed and power.

Not trying to defend anything Surf has implemented. There has to be female coaches that win. They just need to find them.

Maybe female coaches should be required to coach boys so they get a different perspective on play.
Click to expand...
There's a considerable projection in any of the previous posts regarding why there aren't more / more successful female coaches, and using personal experience is anecdotal. However, doing so in my daughter's case would show that the only female head coach she had in club soccer was a two-time national champ and the coach of the D1 national champions in her first year of college play is a woman.

Also, in terms of team culture, the club coach I mentioned above is exceptional. I still remember the first time I saw her coach. Her demeanor on the sideline was calm, her communication was always constructive, and her team played skilled soccer. Over time, I saw her responses to winning and losing, and it was exactly the behavior I wanted my daughter to model. A few years later, my daughter joined a team she coached, and I observed the same positive behavior in training and in communicating with parents. If we could do it over again and only select one coach, she would be the one.

I don't claim to know why we don't have more / more successful female coaches at the club level. It may have to do with the fact that many of the more successful ones get better opportunities. I know that Quakes/Bay Area had two - Erin Ridley, who is now with the boys' side of the Earthquakes, and Natalia Astrain, who is now coaching the USWNT U17s. Also, Margueritte Aozasa was coaching at MVLA. My take is we need more women coaches at the club level coaching girls - and boys if they are so inclined.
 
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