Recruiting Tips for Parents Just Starting the Process

[crush]

I do want to emphasize that the goal doesn’t have to be a D1 school. It matters more about the culture of the program, the style of play, the coach, and the quality of the education. There are some amazing D3 schools that offer a lot and are very competitive. Be open to options and look beyond the division level. Player at D3 school had a much better overall experience than the player at the D1 school

I have a few friends who are going through the decision process and it's not easy. I told them a while ago to read this thread and low and behold, your wisdom from experience has been very helpful to them. The old recruiting tactics sure did a number on the mental abuse so many young players have had to deal with. Most experts of soccer say that soccer is 80% mental. I wanted to play basketball at UCLA and then be drafted by the Lakers. This was my dream in Middle School. As a freshman at Laguna, I was called up to play in our annual Christmas Tournament. My dreams all came to a crashing halt during Christmas in 1981. We played the Long Beach Jack Rabbits, and I watched from the bench what "best of the best" truly is and D1. I did end up playing NAIA level in hoops and that's where I belonged, and I was very happy. All Conference and started every game and helped our team play make it to the Semi's in playoffs. I'm still in the record book for assists in one season.

 

[Kkk]

I have a few friends who are going through the decision process and it's not easy. I told them a while ago to read this thread and lo and behold, your wisdom from experience has been very helpful to them. The old recruiting tactics sure did a number on the mental abuse so many young players have had to deal with. Most experts of soccer say that soccer is 80% mental. I wanted to play basketball at UCLA and then be drafted by the Lakers. This was my dream in Middle School. As a freshman at Laguna, I was called up to play in our annual Christmas Tournament. My dreams all came to a crashing halt during Christmas in 1981. We played the Long Beach Jack Rabbits, and I watched from the bench what "best of the best" truly is and D1. I did end up playing NAIA level in hoops and that's where I belonged, and I was very happy. All Conference and started every game and helped our team play make it to the Semi's in playoffs. I'm still in the record book for assists in one season.

Problem is most parents and kids aren’t honest with themselves. Kids struggling to even start on their club team think they belong at a top 25 D1. Then you get players that get recruited to top schools that you know their skills didn’t get them there but some connection with DOC or parent . Then everyone thinks if they can get there why can’t I?

 

[crush]

Problem is most parents and kids aren’t honest with themselves. Kids struggling to even start on their club team think they belong at a top 25 D1. Then you get players that get recruited to top schools that you know their skills didn’t get them there but some connection with DOC or parent . Then everyone thinks if they can get there why can’t I?

100%. I have to play. I'm not sitting unless someone is paying me some damn good money to sit and watch while others play.

 

[Kkk]

Problem is most parents and kids aren’t honest with themselves. Kids struggling to even start on their club team think they belong at a top 25 D1. Then you get players that get recruited to top schools that you know their skills didn’t get them there but some connection with DOC or parent . Then everyone thinks if they can get there why can’t I?

And I want to add just because a kid is one of the best in their club team doesn’t equate to success in college. You see kids that are one of the better players on their club team but lack the basic athleticism or they get favoritism because of the coach or DOC get to college and they just can’t hang physically or mentally or their parents pushed them through all of it. Some have been successful in club because their parents or coach have been holding their hand through it all and once they have to compete all alone in college they can’t hang

 

[#girldad]

Problem is most parents and kids aren’t honest with themselves. Kids struggling to even start on their club team think they belong at a top 25 D1. Then you get players that get recruited to top schools that you know their skills didn’t get them there but some connection with DOC or parent . Then everyone thinks if they can get there why can’t I?

Do you really think top schools pick kids with mediocre talent just because of their connection with the DOC or parent? That seems really far-fetched and costly for the school.

 

[WatchthemPlay]

Do you really think top schools pick kids with mediocre talent just because of their connection with the DOC or parent? That seems really far-fetched and costly for the school.

I have to agree with this 99% of the time. It’s a business and recruits are an investment. There is too much time and money invested to not pick the best (and coaching jobs on the line!). The only exception might be a kid on a very minimal scholarship given an opportunity due to connections. This isn’t going to be the top 5 recruited. This will be later in the process. With the new roster limits of 28 for P4, this is going to be even more rare.

 

[Carlsbad7]

Girls College recruiting has changed so much in the last 4 years that advise given from those that went through it all a couple of years ago just doesn't apply any more.

- GA is now considered by recruiters
- NIL changes everything
- 28 player rosters + full scholorships
- Transfer Portal
- NWSL getting rid of the draft

Potential changes that are on the horizon

- Switch to school year from birth year
- College getting rid of unlimited subs

Overall the changes are all for the better but they dramatically affect how players are recruited.

 

[crush]

Girls College recruiting has changed so much in the last 4 years that advise given from those that went through it all a couple of years ago just doesn't apply any more.

- GA is now considered by recruiters
- NIL changes everything
- 28 player rosters + full scholorships
- Transfer Portal
- NWSL getting rid of the draft

Potential changes that are on the horizon

- Switch to school year from birth year
- College getting rid of unlimited subs

Overall the changes are all for the better but they dramatically affect how players are recruited.

Change is hard for those who don't like it. I was reading a story about a 14-year-old girl going Pro Soccer. Home school HS and then train like the great Olivia did when she was a young teen with her new Pro Family. These top players in the past would have committed to North Carolina or UCLA as 6th graders. These top players are now going Pro before their 14. I just saw a 13-year-old just sign. My advice for all parents with dd that can play the game, wait until their body develops, which is after 16 for some and even older for other girls. These girls are not boys. That's why the rule was changed to, "no offers or official visits" until Jr year and that's a good thing. Poor girls would commit to a P4 school at 13 and then 5 years later show up and the coach has no glue who she is and why he signed this different shaped woman then the 8th grade girl.

 

[LASTMAN14]

Do you really think top schools pick kids with mediocre talent just because of their connection with the DOC or parent? That seems really far-fetched and costly for the school.

Mediocre talent is subjective to ones personal definition. For me its void of a high IQ and lacking technical skill. Now I have known players who lack both of these but were highly athletic. They did not start, did not play more than half a game and often were the weak links on the field. Yet, many of them went on to play D1 soccer because the club/coach have strong ties to college coaches.

 

[Carlsbad7]

I don’t know much about how the GA is today. It didn’t start out very strong and was kind of a desperate attempt to make something of your club if you were not in ECNL. It could be worthwhile now. At the end of the day you have to go back to #3, does your club coach have solid connections with good college coaches? It happens though that the ECNL coaches are usually the ones that have the most pull with the college coaches.

My younger player had the joy of going through the age change, teams having to break up because of it, the first year of the DA and then returning to ECNL watching the collapse of the DA because it was an all around bad idea and poorly run. It could be that the GA is decent for recruiting but it still doesn’t have as solid of a reputation. The biggest issue is what college showcases your team can get into and what field you are playing on at these showcases. Older player, not on an ECNL team, went to the college showcase in Vegas. Her team played on a field that was out in the middle of nowhere without a college coach to be seen. Didn’t even have water for sale at the field. We could have been lost in the desert and no one would have known. That was our first hard lesson. The ECNL teams were playing on the Betty Wilson Field with 50+ college coaches on the side lines. Coaches would promise to come watch her play saying they were looking for a player in her position and then just not show up. It is probably better from my perspective to be on an average ECNL team instead of a top GA team but again my experience at the club level was when the GA had just been formed and it was a waste.

GA copied everything ECNL was/is doing. From a league only perspective they're pretty much the same. What's different is ECNL has more top clubs and the top clubs have more connections than other clubs in either league.

With rosters being limited to 28 college recruiters are going to be looking for ECNL/GA players that are onpar with transfer portal, and international players. It's going to be interesting to see what happens to high level players that just need a couple more seasons to develop. Will they continue to play club? Will they play in amateur league to remain a viable college candidate if they don't get on a team out of high school? Will players that would traditionally make a high level D1 team get on a D2 or D3 team & plan to transfer portal over to D1 at a later date?

Time will tell...

 

[John T.]

I don’t know much about how the GA is today. It didn’t start out very strong and was kind of a desperate attempt to make something of your club if you were not in ECNL. It could be worthwhile now. At the end of the day you have to go back to #3, does your club coach have solid connections with good college coaches? It happens though that the ECNL coaches are usually the ones that have the most pull with the college coaches.

My younger player had the joy of going through the age change, teams having to break up because of it, the first year of the DA and then returning to ECNL watching the collapse of the DA because it was an all around bad idea and poorly run. It could be that the GA is decent for recruiting but it still doesn’t have as solid of a reputation. The biggest issue is what college showcases your team can get into and what field you are playing on at these showcases. Older player, not on an ECNL team, went to the college showcase in Vegas. Her team played on a field that was out in the middle of nowhere without a college coach to be seen. Didn’t even have water for sale at the field. We could have been lost in the desert and no one would have known. That was our first hard lesson. The ECNL teams were playing on the Betty Wilson Field with 50+ college coaches on the side lines. Coaches would promise to come watch her play saying they were looking for a player in her position and then just not show up. It is probably better from my perspective to be on an average ECNL team instead of a top GA team but again my experience at the club level was when the GA had just been formed and it was a waste.

Thanks. Yeah, makes sense. GA clubs have been finding their footing and strength, particularly in the Midwest and East Coast. TopHat is a very good GA club in Georgia, and City SC is a prominent one in SoCal. Nationals was one of the dominant GA clubs in the league, but they have recently transitioned to ECNL. I hope this is not the trend, but it will be interesting to see if Nationals can still compete at the highest level in the ECNL league.

I guess, as the famous saying goes, “know thyself” goes a long way for any clubs and players to examine their own abilities, limitations, and true nature to make prudent judgment calls. However, this seems so simple yet difficult, as I, too, believe my DD can still compete at the top level in ECNL from GA, but we may not know ourselves...

 

[SuperSoccerStar]

Has everyone seen the results for D1 signings for 2024? It’s like 90% ECNL.

 

[Mystery Train]

After going through the process with two players (each a very different path) here are some lessons learned:

1. College coaches can quit or be replaced without any notice and it will change everything about the program you have committed to.
2. Coaches will say all sorts of things during the recruiting process that they may or may not follow through on. Be prepared to manage whatever reality you encounter and make the best of it.
3. Your club coach is your best resource and support during this whole process so make sure you have a club coach who thinks you're amazing and has the right connections and relationships with college coaches. It is those personal relationships that your club coach has with the college coaches that open doors. They can also guide you on what program might be the best fit because they know you and they know the college coach.
4. Being on an ECNL team does matter. Yes, you will hear lots of individuals say, "I was in this other league and I still got recruited" but those opportunities are only here and there. It is VERY difficult to get the attention of college coaches if you are not on an ECNL team. You won't get the chance to be considered. That's the honest truth.
5. Pick a school that you love and make sure you like the vibe of the current players at the school. The culture and and the vibe of the team is really important. That is what will impact you as a player for 4 years, day in and day out. Check out the social media accounts of the players, try to spend time connecting with the current players before you arrive, and make sure it is a fit.
6. It matters more that your team is competitive not what league or level it is. It is much more fun to play on a D3 team that is winning their conference and making it into the D3 national tournament than playing on a mid or low-level D1 team that will never have a shot to win their conference or go anywhere other than lose game after game.
7. It doesn't matter how amazing you are as a player, some coaches have their favorites that play the majority of minutes every game and leave you sitting on the bench. It leaves all the other players and parents confused about what the coaches see when they clearly aren't performing in games and are just not very good.
8. It is important that you advocate strongly for yourself with the coach when you need feedback or have questions. Learn to be brave and assertive, and come with facts and stats to support what you are talking about, not just about how you feel. Practice having logical arguments without being emotional.
9. Maintain a positive attitude and be a good teammate. There are other players on the team and they deserve to have a positive culture to be in. Everyone contributes to that and has a responsibility to their teammates. Don't yell at your teammates on the field. If you have something to say, speak to your teammate in private and with respect. Nothing looks worse than players yelling at each other in the middle of a game. It is also important to be kind. You never know what someone else is dealing with and you could be the difference in your teammate's life when they need support and kindness.
10. Never tolerate an unhealthy or abusive environment. You will likely not get any satisfaction about speaking up because coaches, ADs, and schools will protect themselves and gaslight you but you will know that you spoke up and stood your ground to try to bring light to something that is wrong.
11. Parents, leave your players alone and don't nag or criticize their play. They have arrived at their destination and let them learn to manage their environment without corrections and criticisms and figure out what is best for them. The situation is stressful enough for the players and they get enough of that from their coaching staff and the environment.
12. Going to games in-person is amazing but if your player is far away and you don't have the finances to travel all the time you can still watch the live streaming of games. Big schools have all their games on ESPN+ or other platforms and small D3 schools also have livestreaming services so you won't miss a thing.
13. Don't let coaches bully players about their fitness. Sometimes there are medical issues that are causing problems so that needs to be investigated and not just assume the player isn't trying hard enough.
14. Don't be afraid to make a change if you end up on a college team and it is a bad situation. The transfer portal is there for a reason. However, also, be sure that going that route is the only option as the transfer portal is a bit of a crap shoot. There are many complicated factors in finding a new spot for yourself and there are no guarantees. You could also transfer and end up in another situation that isn't great so be wise and investigate the situations thoroughly and have honest direct conversations with coaches about expectations.

This post should be pinned here for posterity, as it is absolutely perfect. I might just pop onto this board every 6 months just to bump it.

My DD, my wife and I can personally vouch for almost every single one of these, 1-14. I have mixed feelings about telling people that they have to play in a certain league to get recruited, as I personally know players who are good exceptions to this, but I can't deny that my kid got looks she wouldn't have otherwise just because of those 4 letters, so yes, it is still a valid point.

#6 is a HIGHLY underrated fact, especially amongst parents looking to impress other people with the status of a D1 "committment." Funny, no parent or club who I saw boastfully post on social about their player's D1 committment ever followed that up with a post a year later about them giving up soccer because they had lost the joy, or transferred to get away from the abuse, or to preserve their mental health, or how their player rarely saw the field or quit soccer to make better use of their time because it was killing their academics and college experience. This, despite the fact that the majority of D1 commits will end up with one of those outcomes. Maybe if they did share it, some of the newbie parents might take notice and re-think the options for their kids.

 

[j2five]

Has everyone seen the results for D1 signings for 2024? It’s like 90% ECNL.

Based on stats I've seen floating around, it's a little over 60% from ECNL, a little over 20% from GA and the rest from other sources. So yes, there's definitely more coming from ECNL, but not as skewed as 90%.

 

[John T.]

Based on stats I've seen floating around, it's a little over 60% from ECNL, a little over 20% from GA and the rest from other sources. So yes, there's definitely more coming from ECNL, but not as skewed as 90%.

This makes more logical sense. D1 at +90% from ECNL would be out of this world. Still, 60% is a big number. It would also be interesting to see if this number has been trending higher or lower in the recent 3-5 years.

For D3 schools, I wonder what the percentage breakdown would be. As mentioned above, there are some great D3 schools to enjoy soccer, such as Johns Hopkins, MIT, Carnegie Mellon, U of Chicago and so on, without the higher pressure of D1 commitment of play. Would it still be more ECNL over GA for D3... If so, would D3 coaches still prefer to recruit the second-tier ECNL players over the first-team GA ones, or vice versa, given the same player credentials in general...

 

[SuperSoccerStar]

Based on stats I've seen floating around, it's a little over 60% from ECNL, a little over 20% from GA and the rest from other sources. So yes, there's definitely more coming from ECNL, but not as skewed as 90%.

I was trying to find where I saw it but I swear it felt like that reading it. Still trying to track it down.

 

[Carlsbad7]

I was trying to find where I saw it but I swear it felt like that reading it. Still trying to track it down.

Here's where you got 90%

ECNL: Positives, negatives of fastest growing youth soccer league in America

Elite Clubs National League, better known as ECNL, is regarded as a premier youth soccer league in the United States. It is often considered the top tier for girls’ youth soccer, and the second tier for boys’ youth soccer. The league consists of 128 girls’ clubs and 151 boys’ clubs. A club is an...

woottoncommonsense.com

It's also here...

Girls ECNL - FC Alliance Knoxville

FC ALLIANCE GIRLS ECNL Elite Clubs National League is considered one of the best youth girls leagues in the world. The league features the top youth clubs in the United States in a collaboration to raise the level of soccer in this country. As much as 70% of the league moves on to NCAA Division…

fcallianceknox.org

Not sure how much research went into the assessment. Looks more like a general statement from a group that directly benefits from the numbers provided.

 

[crush]

Here's where you got 90%

ECNL: Positives, negatives of fastest growing youth soccer league in America

Elite Clubs National League, better known as ECNL, is regarded as a premier youth soccer league in the United States. It is often considered the top tier for girls’ youth soccer, and the second tier for boys’ youth soccer. The league consists of 128 girls’ clubs and 151 boys’ clubs. A club is an...

woottoncommonsense.com

It's also here...

Girls ECNL - FC Alliance Knoxville

FC ALLIANCE GIRLS ECNL Elite Clubs National League is considered one of the best youth girls leagues in the world. The league features the top youth clubs in the United States in a collaboration to raise the level of soccer in this country. As much as 70% of the league moves on to NCAA Division…

fcallianceknox.org

Not sure how much research went into the assessment. Looks more like a general statement from a group that directly benefits from the numbers provided.

If your kid can ball, it don't matter where he or she plays. My advice is to get good grades, work hard at your craft and now get a full ride with a free education. Nothing wrong with that. If Pro is your thing, you can go pro and nothing wrong with that either or you can quit and just focus on school and life and nothing wrong with that.

 

[Carlsbad7]

If your kid can ball, it don't matter where he or she plays. My advice is to get good grades, work hard at your craft and now get a full ride with a free education. Nothing wrong with that. If Pro is your thing, you can go pro and nothing with that either or you can quit and just focus on school and life and nothing wrong with that.

If you take a step back and look at how rapidly women's pro, college, and youth soccer is changing its pretty amazing.

What I see is that women's pipelines are starting to look like men's. There's no more draft. Top college teams recruit internationally. This is mirrors how mens college Soccer functions.

The only things "missing" on the women's side are Acadamies (MLS Next but for girls) and a NWSL homegrown rule. If/when these 2 items are implemented women's soccer will end up exactly like men's in America.

General FYI the current NWSL CBA has provisions for both Acadamies and a Homegrown rule. This means NWSL could implement both whenever they want.

 

[Slobodan]

After going through the process with two players (each a very different path) here are some lessons learned:

1. College coaches can quit or be replaced without any notice and it will change everything about the program you have committed to.
2. Coaches will say all sorts of things during the recruiting process that they may or may not follow through on. Be prepared to manage whatever reality you encounter and make the best of it.
3. Your club coach is your best resource and support during this whole process so make sure you have a club coach who thinks you're amazing and has the right connections and relationships with college coaches. It is those personal relationships that your club coach has with the college coaches that open doors. They can also guide you on what program might be the best fit because they know you and they know the college coach.
4. Being on an ECNL team does matter. Yes, you will hear lots of individuals say, "I was in this other league and I still got recruited" but those opportunities are only here and there. It is VERY difficult to get the attention of college coaches if you are not on an ECNL team. You won't get the chance to be considered. That's the honest truth.
5. Pick a school that you love and make sure you like the vibe of the current players at the school. The culture and and the vibe of the team is really important. That is what will impact you as a player for 4 years, day in and day out. Check out the social media accounts of the players, try to spend time connecting with the current players before you arrive, and make sure it is a fit.
6. It matters more that your team is competitive not what league or level it is. It is much more fun to play on a D3 team that is winning their conference and making it into the D3 national tournament than playing on a mid or low-level D1 team that will never have a shot to win their conference or go anywhere other than lose game after game.
7. It doesn't matter how amazing you are as a player, some coaches have their favorites that play the majority of minutes every game and leave you sitting on the bench. It leaves all the other players and parents confused about what the coaches see when they clearly aren't performing in games and are just not very good.
8. It is important that you advocate strongly for yourself with the coach when you need feedback or have questions. Learn to be brave and assertive, and come with facts and stats to support what you are talking about, not just about how you feel. Practice having logical arguments without being emotional.
9. Maintain a positive attitude and be a good teammate. There are other players on the team and they deserve to have a positive culture to be in. Everyone contributes to that and has a responsibility to their teammates. Don't yell at your teammates on the field. If you have something to say, speak to your teammate in private and with respect. Nothing looks worse than players yelling at each other in the middle of a game. It is also important to be kind. You never know what someone else is dealing with and you could be the difference in your teammate's life when they need support and kindness.
10. Never tolerate an unhealthy or abusive environment. You will likely not get any satisfaction about speaking up because coaches, ADs, and schools will protect themselves and gaslight you but you will know that you spoke up and stood your ground to try to bring light to something that is wrong.
11. Parents, leave your players alone and don't nag or criticize their play. They have arrived at their destination and let them learn to manage their environment without corrections and criticisms and figure out what is best for them. The situation is stressful enough for the players and they get enough of that from their coaching staff and the environment.
12. Going to games in-person is amazing but if your player is far away and you don't have the finances to travel all the time you can still watch the live streaming of games. Big schools have all their games on ESPN+ or other platforms and small D3 schools also have livestreaming services so you won't miss a thing.
13. Don't let coaches bully players about their fitness. Sometimes there are medical issues that are causing problems so that needs to be investigated and not just assume the player isn't trying hard enough.
14. Don't be afraid to make a change if you end up on a college team and it is a bad situation. The transfer portal is there for a reason. However, also, be sure that going that route is the only option as the transfer portal is a bit of a crap shoot. There are many complicated factors in finding a new spot for yourself and there are no guarantees. You could also transfer and end up in another situation that isn't great so be wise and investigate the situations thoroughly and have honest direct conversations with coaches about expectations.

This is a really well done piece.

 

[Slobodan]

Do you really think top schools pick kids with mediocre talent just because of their connection with the DOC or parent? That seems really far-fetched and costly for the school.

Yes, they do. Seen it firsthand. I don't think it happens a lot with elite, college programs but it happens all over college soccer.