Agree that coaches shouldn't be recruiting other teams' players mid-season. Desperate, very myopic (gotta win now), and disrespectful to the current team. Makes the existing parents' crazy, territorial. paranoid and clicky. But that's on the coach, not the player. And it's widely known which clubs do this more than others (Blues, Surf), so parents going there should already know what they're getting into. If that's the environment you want from your kids' soccer experience, then bon appetit. And watch your back.
To blame the player/family is one of the themes clubs put out there to make players feel guilty and retain power/control. Just like calling players "club hoppers" even though leagues, clubs, rules, keep changing every year for the past 5 years. Nonsense. We are paying customers. And we're forced to pay 100% upfront 3-6 months prior to a new season beginning. And throughout the year we pay not just with $$ but also time, a lot of time. So yes, just like I will switch to Verizon from ATT before my contract expires if their service sucks, I have no problem with a player moving midseason if the club is jacking them around or their personal situation changes.
Now, if the club is treating the player as promised and the player (more likely parents) are moving midseason primarily in the search of more W's, then that's definitely a sh**ty move by Mom and Dad. So, context is key.