Proper Side Line Etiquette For Soccer Parents?
- Thread starter Chalklines
- Start date
Mystery Train
GOLD
The very fact that you're self-aware enough to recognize your own behavioral tendencies and question whether or not it is acceptable means that you are way ahead of 75% of sports parents (not just soccer). So you will be fine, eventually.
I am assuming your kid is in the "younger" category (below U14)...if not, my apologies.
When it's your first go-round, it is really hard to hold the emotions in check. My DD's first team had a family on it who had 2 kids in college playing soccer and 2 more on older club teams. They were the coolest customers on the sideline because they'd seen it all. Never got upset during a game, sat over to the side away from the other parents. Didn't really socialize. It took me a while, but I aspired to be like them. Act like you've been there before. Even if you haven't.
SplitSoccerFamMom
SILVER
Mystery Train
GOLD
As parent of a GK, I've often violated this "rule" to be closer to my daughter, especially if filming her (some leagues mandate parents all on the same sideline, but segregated by the half-way line). Whenever I do this, I always keep my mouth shut, NEVER say a word, not even to cheer a goal or save. Most of the other parents can tell that I'm from the other team, but have never given me a hard time or commented on my presence. Sometimes, I'll even say to the closest parent, "Hi, I'm the GK's dad, I just want to film here, and I promise I won't cause any trouble." That always breaks the ice and things are very polite and friendly from there on. Furthermore, if someone did give me a hard time, I'd simply go back to my team's spot without a word, because I know the rule. Still, it it is a good way to make you keep your trap shut. I noticed it often also has the same effect on the other team's parents, where they will be noticeably inclined to be more polite because I'm there. The rule is there of course because it is easy to get into verbal back and forth with the other team's parents. All it takes is for one person to yell "Foul!" and the other parent to go, "No, it wasn't," and things can get ugly quickly. So if you don't have any self-control, definitely stay on your team's end.
Bananacorner
SILVER ELITE
I must admit, when a parent had quietly edged up behind me to watch the game (I didn't turn around to see who it was, just felt his presence), and I realized from him suddenly shouting "that was a foul!" against our team that he was a parent from the other side, it took restraint to keep from standing up quickly to "accidentally" head butt him. I think until you are 100% certain that you can control yourself, standing next to parents from the other team is a dangerous way to try and keep quiet...
There is a lot of bad advice here. I think the forum is trolling you. Here is the proper list of behaviors to emulate:
1. During warmup, pre-game in the parking lot w/ you drink of choice.
2. Make every effort to be the loudest person on the field.
3. Pace furiously up and down the sidelines while muttering under your breath.
4. Try and intimidate the referees on every call, good or bad.
5. Shout instructions to your kid relentlessly as if your voice was a joystick controlling them.
6. Tell the other kids to pass to your kid.
7. Make sure to criticize the other team.
8. If anyone on the other sideline mouths off, take matters into your own hands.
That should get you started fitting in on the sideline.
1. During warmup, pre-game in the parking lot w/ you drink of choice.
2. Make every effort to be the loudest person on the field.
3. Pace furiously up and down the sidelines while muttering under your breath.
4. Try and intimidate the referees on every call, good or bad.
5. Shout instructions to your kid relentlessly as if your voice was a joystick controlling them.
6. Tell the other kids to pass to your kid.
7. Make sure to criticize the other team.
8. If anyone on the other sideline mouths off, take matters into your own hands.
That should get you started fitting in on the sideline.
charlie murphy
SILVER
OK , sounds good. Look for me on the sideline. I will probably be at most of the games this weekend. All of you be sure to say HI to me. You can't miss me. In addition to all the great advice I will also be drinking from a red cup.
They really should put the parents on the same side as the team and coaches.
As a parent, I hate hearing what opposing parents say on the sidelines. Grandparents are the WORST!! I try to sit near midfield so that I can see more of the game. I may start sitting in the far corner.
As a coach, I wish I could hear what the parents on my team are saying so that I can get them to keep quiet. Or possibly even teach them something. But being 80 yards away, I have no idea what they are saying and I don't have any control over it. I've heard them tell me that opposing sidelines will yell at players on our team. I have to imagine we aren't 100% innocent of this. But no way would I allow it if I heard it.
As a parent, I hate hearing what opposing parents say on the sidelines. Grandparents are the WORST!! I try to sit near midfield so that I can see more of the game. I may start sitting in the far corner.
As a coach, I wish I could hear what the parents on my team are saying so that I can get them to keep quiet. Or possibly even teach them something. But being 80 yards away, I have no idea what they are saying and I don't have any control over it. I've heard them tell me that opposing sidelines will yell at players on our team. I have to imagine we aren't 100% innocent of this. But no way would I allow it if I heard it.
I've been good for the last 2 games, but at the last one DYS began to forget a few of the basics in the second half (he forgot to float and was starring off into space when his team was on the press, quick steal and it ripped right past him). That's when it's hardest for me to keep quiet and not remind him to keep his head in the game. 
Managing the mind set of a keeper is the hardest aspect I'm finding of having a kid in that position....team's down by 1 at the half and he's going crazy because he let three in (only 1 of which he could have really done anything about).
Managing the mind set of a keeper is the hardest aspect I'm finding of having a kid in that position....team's down by 1 at the half and he's going crazy because he let three in (only 1 of which he could have really done anything about).
Surfref
PREMIER
Dad's of 8/9th Grade daughters are the worst. These guys think they know the game and are smarter than the coach and the referee. They are also the most likely to coach their kid if on the opposite side of the field from the coach. When the parent coaching is occurring, at a stoppage I will talk to the coach. It usually goes something like, "Coach would you please have your assistant coach in the red hat move to this side of the field and into the technical area. It might also help the team since his directions are contradictory to yours." At this point the coach usually says, "I'll take care of this. Todd, shut up!" Or "Stop coaching the players. That is what you pay me for." This usually fixes the problem since the coach has had this problem with a Todd in the past. Good team managers will also shut the parent coaches up.
Bananacorner
SILVER ELITE
Thought I would try a little experiment this weekend after reading this thread. Parent behind us yelling for the other team, I noticed it was upsetting a few of the parents and so decided I would say something polite. I went over to the guy and his friend (who looked a little sheepish during the whole thing) and said very nicely that proper etiquette is to stay on the side of their own team with their own parents -- before I could get all of it out, he became belligerent, telling me there is no such thing as etiquette, yelling at me whether had ever been to a match at a stadium and this is nothing blah blah blah (volume level = 10). I sat down and let the guy continue to embarrass himself. Perhaps if it was one of the more reasonable parents (like many who have posted above) who was just slipping up, but instead it was a typical crazed lunatic who is hoping to get the opportunity to throw down at his DD's soccer game like he presumably does when he goes to see "matches at a stadium." I'm convinced he was standing behind us because the parents on his side (who were calm and appropriate) kicked him out. So if he doesn't respond to his own parents or parents from the other side, who can get someone like that to shut up?
You should take up a collection from the teams his kid plays against and buy him a bat costume. Encourage the bat dad to wear the costume at games.
http://southpark.cc.com/clips/154926/bat-dad
Mystery Train
GOLD
LOL, "match at a stadium." What a chump. Just out of curiosity, what league/age level?
TangoCity
GOLD
Put a video camera up in the middle of your parents sideline to tape the game. Then review it to find out your worst parent offenders.
Surfref
PREMIER
Your team manager should have talked to his team manager. If that didn't defuse the situation, than the coach can get the referee involved. I have had numerous coaches ask for assistance with spectators at youth games. A quick announcement to all spectators that they must be on the side of the field opposite of their team usually works. But, sometimes I have to call out the offending parent and get them to move. My comments usually get the other parents to say something and the offending parents caves into the peer pressure. I would never suggest parents to confront each other since there are too many unstable whack-job parents that might do something dumb.
Bananacorner
SILVER ELITE
Surfref called it -- "Dad's of 8/9th Grade daughters are the worst."
I have been called F'n A**Hole for asking parent to sit on their side I even had a parent refuse to move and stare at me until the game was over, and yes he was the dad of a 8th/9th grader.
charlie murphy
SILVER
what is the Etiquette for spectators when both teams sit across the field . I always thought each team took half the field opposite the bench of their team. today we faced a team that the "home " team took the entire center to the top of the circle on both sides and then to the top of the 6 on one side line. our spectator were from the top of the back of the circle to the back line. Then the ref came over to our side line and told us we needed to move to the top of the 18. We asked if we could get the opposing team to move to their side of the field and were told by the ref "It is first come first served". ( but we have to sit double stacked between the 18 and back to the circle) Never had this explanation before. I would call this "etiquette" classless for the home team side. I thought the ref did have some control over the positioning of the spectators and if doesn't who does?