How to leave a team?!?!?

[NoGoal]

That's not entirely true. Coaches that will give you honest feedback exist. You just have to find them (and there aren't many unfortunately). And sometimes you may just not like what they have to say because it doesn't align with what you think as a parent. Not saying this is you, just saying in general. Also, some coaches have crazy, detailed memories when it comes to soccer and do track the progress of individual players and can remember plays, games, players from years back. And some coaches care, they are just hard to find sad to say. Good luck in your search.

I agree, also finding a coach at each stage of a players develop years is difficult as well. A parent could find a great ulittle coach, but then the team is past onto a new coach from U14 and he isn't as good or his style of play doesn't jive with your players abilities. Then it's off to find a better fit at uolders.

 

[chargerfan]

I think there are coaches out there that give honest feedback and will honestly tell you where your daughter falls on the team. The problem is that parents rarely want to hear the truth, so think the coach is wrong or biased towards a certain type of player or whatever. That is why I think parents tend to gravitate more towards clubs and coaches that are selling dreams and kool aid. It's easier for them to digest.

Im not going to analyze or comment on the original question anymore because he isn't giving us much to work on, like others have said.

 

[Striker17]

This is how my wife and I dealt with playtime. We didn't complain to the head coach or ask why she doesn't play. Instead after the season we leave, if we are not happy with the playtime. Why speak to the head coach, when all they will do is give you lip service. Their actions (playtime) always speak louder than their words.

I do hear you on this- I was merely saying that giving a coach an opportunity to just let you know is sometimes good. I don't like assuming anything because it could be my kid was giving an attitude, being lazy OR wasn't skilled. You never know so before I make assumptions I just like to ask. I think most decent coaches will be honest- especially if they have kids they have a tendency to understand a parental view

 

[chargerfan]

I do hear you on this- I was merely saying that giving a coach an opportunity to just let you know is sometimes good. I don't like assuming anything because it could be my kid was giving an attitude, being lazy OR wasn't skilled. You never know so before I make assumptions I just like to ask. I think most decent coaches will be honest- especially if they have kids they have a tendency to understand a parental view

I agree, and I think it is best to have the player ask how they can get more play time. The coach can then let them know what they need to improve on, and it will be up to the player whether or not to put in the extra work to improve.

 

[El Clasico]

Either way you slice it... she was on the bottom - and she is nowhere as good as the other players and frankly she sucks. it's true she doesn't "deserve" playing time - Whether she deserves playing time or not is relevant. There is reason your kid should ride the pine if she made a team and you are paying fees for a coach to train her. It's the coaches job to recruit well and manage the lineups so the team is set up for success.

We did join this club so we could brag about being on this team.

WAIT! Now that I read between the lines, I get it. Why make it so difficult for people to see where you are coming from when you could have just clarified from the get go.

This whole thread has become comedy.

 

[LilStriker]

WAIT! Now that I read between the lines, I get it. Why make it so difficult for people to see where you are coming from when you could have just clarified from the get go.

This whole thread has become comedy.

Fake news much? That's not what we said and it doesn't even make sense - if that was the case, then we'd just stay... can't have it both ways.

 

[LilStriker]

That's not entirely true. Coaches that will give you honest feedback exist. You just have to find them (and there aren't many unfortunately). And sometimes you may just not like what they have to say because it doesn't align with what you think as a parent. Not saying this is you, just saying in general. Also, some coaches have crazy, detailed memories when it comes to soccer and do track the progress of individual players and can remember plays, games, players from years back. And some coaches care, they are just hard to find sad to say. Good luck in your search.

Thanks, that's why we like video though - whether you like what it's telling you or not, it's pretty hard to dispute.

We've been fortunate to have been around a lot of coaches who care - my point was that there are a lot of players on the team and they can't keep track of everything going on for each player all the time. This is where video comes in handy.

 

[NoGoal]

Thanks, that's why we like video though - whether you like what it's telling you or not, it's pretty hard to dispute.

We've been fortunate to have been around a lot of coaches who care - my point was that there are a lot of players on the team and they can't keep track of everything going on for each player all the time. This is where video comes in handy.

The coach knows what's going on. He/she doesn't have the time to train a specific player's weakness. The focus is to train the whole team, so the players know their roles and can play as a cohesive unit.

Individual weakness needs to be improved outside of practice, such as privates if skill and touch needs improvement.

 

[NoGoal]

Lilstriker, your original post was on May 2, 2017. Your DD has only been with the new team for a month. Unless she is a YNT player, I don't get where you got the idea your DD would be starting or playing a lot of minutes right away. As a new player on an exisitng team, you should have assume the worst, in which she was going to come off the bench and earn her play time. Yet, you are giving up after 1 month? The fall season hasn't began. Instead, give your DD time to adjust to the faster speed of play....since she is playing at a higher level. After the season, if nothing has changed then reevaluate if she needs to move down a level or to another club.

 

[Eusebio]

This is how my wife and I dealt with playtime. We didn't complain to the head coach or ask why she doesn't play. Instead after the season we leave, if we are not happy with the playtime. Why speak to the head coach, when all they will do is give you lip service. Their actions (playtime) always speak louder than their words.

100% agree. Pretty much what I do.

I don't say anything to the coach during the spring and summer tournaments. I like to give the coach space to experiment and understand the players he has and how they all fit together. I also want my child to work hard and step it up if playing time is lacking.

At ULittle, if by the middle of the fall season, there seems to be a disconnect between my child's quality of play/effort and the playing time, then I may ask the coach for some general feedback, so I can understand what's going on in the coach's head and see if I can understand the logic their operating under. But I don't explicitly complain and I don't make any specific demands. If it's UOlder, then that's between the player and coach, and I don't get involved at all.

By the end of the season if I'm still unhappy or I feel the coach is a poor fit for my child, then I simply leave at the end of the season. This has happened a couple of times, and both times the coaches were like, "I had no idea you were unhappy! I'm shocked that you're leaving!" Well they can be shocked all they want, but I and my child fulfilled the yearly commitment (finished state cup and everything) so I have a clean conscience. As NoGoal said, their actions speak louder than words. If they really felt my child was a valuable part of the team, then the playing-time would reflect so. Also they had a full-year with my child, if after a full-year my child's playing-time is still low, then the coach is doing a poor job developing him/her or my child can't keep up with the rest of the team. Either one is not a good reason to stay. The formula does change a bit as they get older, but under the age of 12 a kid should be on a team where they end the season with at least 70% playing time. If not, it's time to go elsewhere. No need to have a back and forth with a slick talking head coach whose just trying to maintain roster numbers.

Having said that, some parents hit the eject button way too soon. Unless the situation is really toxic, be patient. It's a long season. There's players on just about every team that were subs at the beginning of the season and then ended up being starters by the end. The lessons learned and mental toughness gained from going from a sub to a starter is extremely valuable. And a good coach should see a potential starter from all the players on his roster and not write anyone off. If your coach is regularly moving players in and out of the starting lineup, then that's a good thing. It means subs are getting a chance to shine and starters aren't getting complacent. That's the type of team you should hang around for the full season even if the playing time is a bit low to start. Chances are if your kid really is a stud, they'll be able to break into the lineup.

 

[timbuck]

Another comment on the video recording.
Maybe you do it once in a while and it's ok. But to have a long day of school, do some homework, go to soccer practice and then spend another 30 minutes analyzing film of your practice before dinner, shower and bed time seems a little excessive. (At least for my kid. Pretty sure this would make her dislike soccer).

 

[coachrefparent]

Thanks, that's why we like video though - whether you like what it's telling you or not, it's pretty hard to dispute.

We've been fortunate to have been around a lot of coaches who care - my point was that there are a lot of players on the team and they can't keep track of everything going on for each player all the time. This is where video comes in handy.

You give the video to the coach?

 

[LilStriker]

100% agree. Pretty much what I do.

I don't say anything to the coach during the spring and summer tournaments. I like to give the coach space to experiment and understand the players he has and how they all fit together. I also want my child to work hard and step it up if playing time is lacking.

At ULittle, if by the middle of the fall season, there seems to be a disconnect between my child's quality of play/effort and the playing time, then I may ask the coach for some general feedback, so I can understand what's going on in the coach's head and see if I can understand the logic their operating under. But I don't explicitly complain and I don't make any specific demands. If it's UOlder, then that's between the player and coach, and I don't get involved at all.

By the end of the season if I'm still unhappy or I feel the coach is a poor fit for my child, then I simply leave at the end of the season. This has happened a couple of times, and both times the coaches were like, "I had no idea you were unhappy! I'm shocked that you're leaving!" Well they can be shocked all they want, but I and my child fulfilled the yearly commitment (finished state cup and everything) so I have a clean conscience. As NoGoal said, their actions speak louder than words. If they really felt my child was a valuable part of the team, then the playing-time would reflect so. Also they had a full-year with my child, if after a full-year my child's playing-time is still low, then the coach is doing a poor job developing him/her or my child can't keep up with the rest of the team. Either one is not a good reason to stay. The formula does change a bit as they get older, but under the age of 12 a kid should be on a team where they end the season with at least 70% playing time. If not, it's time to go elsewhere. No need to have a back and forth with a slick talking head coach whose just trying to maintain roster numbers.

Having said that, some parents hit the eject button way too soon...

The team has been practicing under him since Feb-March and we played a spring season - in total 10 matches to date. For some teams that's almost an entire league season. He hasn't moved anyone in and out of the starting lineup much at all, nor changed playing time allocation. That's our other concern. Every time she goes in the game she's with the other bench players so it makes it even tougher since they're all coming in cold and then only has a few mins before the half to get warm and make something happen - a tall task for a younger.

We started having concerns starting May and the feedback was to find a new team. We decided to stick it out instead of everyone's suggestion to cut bait but after another month and more games, it's become clear she's an afterthought.

Nonetheless, I still have high regard for this coach in terms of what he teaches the team and I strongly believe the team will be very successful but after 3 months knowing he hasn't paid much attention to her, I'm not going to risk spending a whole year riding the pine hoping he changes his mind. Even if it's justified, not getting playing time makes it exponentially harder to get better. Many don't believe it's justified.

We've already let the coach know that we'd like to move off the team. In response, we got several messages from well respected coaches within the club who would be readily recognized on this forum reassuring that she is a key player, she definitely belongs on this team and that she shouldn't have to move to play. They spoke to the coach on her behalf and encouraged us to meet with him again saying they would like us to stay where we are. One of these coaches recruited her to the club and is one of the top coaches in so cal.

We genuinely appreciated that, but I think given all the team dynamics etc... we really just want our DD to play for a coach and team that appreciate her for who she is - faults and all, where she can immediately make an impact, and who genuinely wants to help her develop. Not someone who thinks she doesn't deserve the playing time she's getting.

Perhaps she just needs a team where she can shine and build that confidence, not stuck behind other players shadows.

We do have much respect for the club and want to be loyal so we're waiting to hear back if they're willing to place her on the B team but we haven't heard back. so we're going to start reaching out to some coaches who have really been supportive of our DD in the past to see if they're interested. We've never played for them but they have always reached out to us and expressed that they would absolutely welcome her to the club. We always had a good relationship with them even when competing against.

I want to thank everyone for their input... this really has been such a difficult situation/decision and I genuinely appreciate all the advice - even wisecracks, I especially appreciate those who reached out via PM.

I hope if anything this thread helps others who may be feeling the same way process what's right for their kids, definitely a lot to think about!

My top three takeaways as of now...

1) I'm really glad we didn't go the ultimatum route, it's not who we are and I honestly don't think it wouldve helped anything. I don't recommend it.

2) no matter how I slice it, whether she's a rockstar and is being overlooked or just plain sucks, if she isn't getting playing time and opportunities to prove herself, she's on the wrong team. This is probably a little different for olders, but she's a younger and development is #1. She needs to find a team where she is an active contributor and the coach is invested in her.

3) things are never as bad as they seem. For a while it felt like the world was against us/her. We kept asking why, what's she doing wrong... we kept asking for feedback and she started training more and more. There was certainly no lack of effort on our part, even attending his other coaching sessions with olders to get more reps. In spite of this, there were parents on the team who would openly criticize her, yell at her at games, tell her to just pass the ball to the their kid the moment she touched the ball - no joke. Some parents would openly grumble in the few moments she was in the game that the coach wasn't playing to win. It took us a while to see through all that and realize a lot of those parents were just upset their kid was taken out. We learned to appreciate the parents who did encourage us and advocated on her behalf and the coaches who reached out to reassure us that she definitely belonged. Pay attention to these folks, but also trust your gut.

 

[LilStriker]

Another comment on the video recording.
Maybe you do it once in a while and it's ok. But to have a long day of school, do some homework, go to soccer practice and then spend another 30 minutes analyzing film of your practice before dinner, shower and bed time seems a little excessive. (At least for my kid. Pretty sure this would make her dislike soccer).

We don't video all the time, just occasionally or if I notice something. What I usually do is go through it when I have time and cut out the clips I think are meaningful and then ask if she wants to see them... Or, sometimes she'll just ask if I shot any videos of her practice while waiting for dinner and watch them then... she really doesn't spend more than a few minutes on them when we do review it.

Examples would be, 1v1 drills, showing her what happens when she lets the defender get too close, vs making her move sooner. Or 3v3's, the difference when she moves into space instead of checking towards the ball.

The clips are between 5-30seconds and we might talk about it for a minute, if that, and she gets it. She never feels criticized and it's actually empowering to be able to see how just one adjustment can improve her game rather than not knowing what she's doing wrong nor how to fix. Then she looks for other videos of where she megged her opponent, made a sweet pass or whatever... and says "check this out!" I save those for a rainy day when I have time to put them all together and make a highlight video for her...

Without video, you can easily fall into, "you need to work harder and win your 1v1's" "but I'm doing the best I can"

We no longer have these types of conversations and the reality is, when there are games that I feel she played terrible, it also gives me perspective as well to be able to look back and say ok, it really wasn't that bad. She had some bad plays here and there which she can fix but overall she still played solid, etc.... it's much healthier and avoids the feeling you need to talk about it on the car ride home.

 

[chargerfan]

The team has been practicing under him since Feb-March and we played a spring season - in total 10 matches to date. For some teams that's almost an entire league season. He hasn't moved anyone in and out of the starting lineup much at all, nor changed playing time allocation. That's our other concern. Every time she goes in the game she's with the other bench players so it makes it even tougher since they're all coming in cold and then only has a few mins before the half to get warm and make something happen - a tall task for a younger.

We started having concerns starting May and the feedback was to find a new team. We decided to stick it out instead of everyone's suggestion to cut bait but after another month and more games, it's become clear she's an afterthought.

Nonetheless, I still have high regard for this coach in terms of what he teaches the team and I strongly believe the team will be very successful but after 3 months knowing he hasn't paid much attention to her, I'm not going to risk spending a whole year riding the pine hoping he changes his mind. Even if it's justified, not getting playing time makes it exponentially harder to get better. Many don't believe it's justified.

We've already let the coach know that we'd like to move off the team. In response, we got several messages from well respected coaches within the club who would be readily recognized on this forum reassuring that she is a key player, she definitely belongs on this team and that she shouldn't have to move to play. They spoke to the coach on her behalf and encouraged us to meet with him again saying they would like us to stay where we are. One of these coaches recruited her to the club and is one of the top coaches in so cal.

We genuinely appreciated that, but I think given all the team dynamics etc... we really just want our DD to play for a coach and team that appreciate her for who she is - faults and all, where she can immediately make an impact, and who genuinely wants to help her develop. Not someone who thinks she doesn't deserve the playing time she's getting.

Perhaps she just needs a team where she can shine and build that confidence, not stuck behind other players shadows.

We do have much respect for the club and want to be loyal so we're waiting to hear back if they're willing to place her on the B team but we haven't heard back. so we're going to start reaching out to some coaches who have really been supportive of our DD in the past to see if they're interested. We've never played for them but they have always reached out to us and expressed that they would absolutely welcome her to the club. We always had a good relationship with them even when competing against.

I want to thank everyone for their input... this really has been such a difficult situation/decision and I genuinely appreciate all the advice - even wisecracks, I especially appreciate those who reached out via PM.

I hope if anything this thread helps others who may be feeling the same way process what's right for their kids, definitely a lot to think about!

My top three takeaways as of now...

1) I'm really glad we didn't go the ultimatum route, it's not who we are and I honestly don't think it wouldve helped anything. I don't recommend it.

2) no matter how I slice it, whether she's a rockstar and is being overlooked or just plain sucks, if she isn't getting playing time and opportunities to prove herself, she's on the wrong team. This is probably a little different for olders, but she's a younger and development is #1. She needs to find a team where she is an active contributor and the coach is invested in her.

3) things are never as bad as they seem. For a while it felt like the world was against us/her. We kept asking why, what's she doing wrong... we kept asking for feedback and she started training more and more. There was certainly no lack of effort on our part, even attending his other coaching sessions with olders to get more reps. In spite of this, there were parents on the team who would openly criticize her, yell at her at games, tell her to just pass the ball to the their kid the moment she touched the ball - no joke. Some parents would openly grumble in the few moments she was in the game that the coach wasn't playing to win. It took us a while to see through all that and realize a lot of those parents were just upset their kid was taken out. We learned to appreciate the parents who did encourage us and advocated on her behalf and the coaches who reached out to reassure us that she definitely belonged. Pay attention to these folks, but also trust your gut.

Something about this story doesn't ring true to me. The whole thing has been suspect, honestly. Can we just agree this conversation has run its course? It is a waste of everyone's time at this point.

 

[Grace T.]

We don't video all the time, just occasionally or if I notice something. What I usually do is go through it when I have time and cut out the clips I think are meaningful and then ask if she wants to see them... Or, sometimes she'll just ask if I shot any videos of her practice while waiting for dinner and watch them then... she really doesn't spend more than a few minutes on them when we do review it.

Examples would be, 1v1 drills, showing her what happens when she lets the defender get too close, vs making her move sooner. Or 3v3's, the difference when she moves into space instead of checking towards the ball.

The clips are between 5-30seconds and we might talk about it for a minute, if that, and she gets it. She never feels criticized and it's actually empowering to be able to see how just one adjustment can improve her game rather than not knowing what she's doing wrong nor how to fix. Then she looks for other videos of where she megged her opponent, made a sweet pass or whatever... and says "check this out!" I save those for a rainy day when I have time to put them all together and make a highlight video for her...

Without video, you can easily fall into, "you need to work harder and win your 1v1's" "but I'm doing the best I can"

We no longer have these types of conversations and the reality is, when there are games that I feel she played terrible, it also gives me perspective as well to be able to look back and say ok, it really wasn't that bad. She had some bad plays here and there which she can fix but overall she still played solid, etc.... it's much healthier and avoids the feeling you need to talk about it on the car ride home.

Doesn't matter. If she's a younger videos are a bad way to teach. The kids can normally process one maybe two topics at once. Until 14 or 16, they have problems connecting audiovisual to their physical bodies (it requires an abstract leap they aren't developmentally ready for). And they have to learn the point in anstraction, apply logical thought to it, then physically execute it. Plus at a minute at that age it goes in one ear and out the other never making it to long term memory. High school kids have issues doing that let alone uYoungers. Better to take a single topic she needs improvement on and drill it repeatedly until it becomes innate and without thought. Any more than one or two topics you are wasting your time...real learning is taking place only haphazzardly if at all.

 

[LilStriker]

Doesn't matter. If she's a younger videos are a bad way to teach. The kids can normally process one maybe two topics at once. Until 14 or 16, they have problems connecting audiovisual to their physical bodies (it requires an abstract leap they aren't developmentally ready for). And they have to learn the point in anstraction, apply logical thought to it, then physically execute it. Plus at a minute at that age it goes in one ear and out the other never making it to long term memory. High school kids have issues doing that let alone uYoungers. Better to take a single topic she needs improvement on and drill it repeatedly until it becomes innate and without thought. Any more than one or two topics you are wasting your time...real learning is taking place only haphazzardly if at all.

Grace, I really appreciate your posts and insight but all I can say it's worked really well for us. It helps her to think about the game and see the big picture. I guess to each their own!

 

[Zerodenero]

LilStrike - I preface my response by referencing your 2 separate post:

Well, she DOES want to play at the highest level possible. Hands down she loves soccer and it's her #1 passion, next is computer programming, not even kidding. She chose to join this team knowing she didn't have any friends but playing with better players will only make her better. It's just that none of us expected it to be this way.

Realistically, I think she has potential, I say she's middle of the road right now because while she's clearly within the top 3 on the team regarding her skills and speed, there ARE areas she just needs to improve and develop in - but nothing that can't be fixed or taught. I also suspect that some parents made a "deal" with the coach to have their kid start or get X playing time - anyone know if this actually happens?

For me, I'm perfectly fine if she doesn't make the national team - although she's dreamed of it since she was 4... that's going to have to be all her decision and drive. I just hope she gets to play college ball and given that she's a really smart kid, ideally get recruited by an Ivy down the road. The question is, if she doesn't play DA, will she still get the opportunity and be considered? I know, thinking WAY ahead here, right? but the reality is, some choices lead to more opportunities than others... (Grace T - would love to hear your thoughts on this!)

And.....

The team has been practicing under him since Feb-March and we played a spring season - in total 10 matches to date. For some teams that's almost an entire league season. He hasn't moved anyone in and out of the starting lineup much at all, nor changed playing time allocation. That's our other concern. Every time she goes in the game she's with the other bench players so it makes it even tougher since they're all coming in cold and then only has a few mins before the half to get warm and make something happen - a tall task for a younger.

We started having concerns starting May and the feedback was to find a new team. We decided to stick it out instead of everyone's suggestion to cut bait but after another month and more games, it's become clear she's an afterthought.

Nonetheless, I still have high regard for this coach in terms of what he teaches the team and I strongly believe the team will be very successful but after 3 months knowing he hasn't paid much attention to her, I'm not going to risk spending a whole year riding the pine hoping he changes his mind. Even if it's justified, not getting playing time makes it exponentially harder to get better. Many don't believe it's justified.

We've already let the coach know that we'd like to move off the team. In response, we got several messages from well respected coaches within the club who would be readily recognized on this forum reassuring that she is a key player, she definitely belongs on this team and that she shouldn't have to move to play. They spoke to the coach on her behalf and encouraged us to meet with him again saying they would like us to stay where we are. One of these coaches recruited her to the club and is one of the top coaches in so cal.

We genuinely appreciated that, but I think given all the team dynamics etc... we really just want our DD to play for a coach and team that appreciate her for who she is - faults and all, where she can immediately make an impact, and who genuinely wants to help her develop. Not someone who thinks she doesn't deserve the playing time she's getting.

Perhaps she just needs a team where she can shine and build that confidence, not stuck behind other players shadows.

We do have much respect for the club and want to be loyal so we're waiting to hear back if they're willing to place her on the B team but we haven't heard back. so we're going to start reaching out to some coaches who have really been supportive of our DD in the past to see if they're interested. We've never played for them but they have always reached out to us and expressed that they would absolutely welcome her to the club. We always had a good relationship with them even when competing against.

I want to thank everyone for their input... this really has been such a difficult situation/decision and I genuinely appreciate all the advice - even wisecracks, I especially appreciate those who reached out via PM.

I hope if anything this thread helps others who may be feeling the same way process what's right for their kids, definitely a lot to think about!

My top three takeaways as of now...

1) I'm really glad we didn't go the ultimatum route, it's not who we are and I honestly don't think it wouldve helped anything. I don't recommend it.

2) no matter how I slice it, whether she's a rockstar and is being overlooked or just plain sucks, if she isn't getting playing time and opportunities to prove herself, she's on the wrong team. This is probably a little different for olders, but she's a younger and development is #1. She needs to find a team where she is an active contributor and the coach is invested in her.

3) things are never as bad as they seem. For a while it felt like the world was against us/her. We kept asking why, what's she doing wrong... we kept asking for feedback and she started training more and more. There was certainly no lack of effort on our part, even attending his other coaching sessions with olders to get more reps. In spite of this, there were parents on the team who would openly criticize her, yell at her at games, tell her to just pass the ball to the their kid the moment she touched the ball - no joke. Some parents would openly grumble in the few moments she was in the game that the coach wasn't playing to win. It took us a while to see through all that and realize a lot of those parents were just upset their kid was taken out. We learned to appreciate the parents who did encourage us and advocated on her behalf and the coaches who reached out to reassure us that she definitely belonged. Pay attention to these folks, but also trust your gut.

Lil - I must confess, I've been binge reading your posts on this and the other thread.....to my surprise, I'm finding myself feeling like the millions of viewers who watch tv shows like the Bachelorette or some other obscure....random reality show. You know, the ones that ya don't want to watch....don't have the time to watch...but somehow, someway.....Can get ya hooked

And after going thru this and your other thread, I don't think that I can provide any further tactical advice to you/your DD's dilemma....Especially considering your posts/inquiries read as tho you don't really want advice. Advice from many expirenced forum members who once had u-little players.....advice from parents who's DD's are committed/playing at top tier soccer and/or academic institutions and/or playing pro.

However as it may, I feel compelled to share a quick tip on the whole youth club/soccer thing....from a macro level.

I am a parent of a "Big 3" Ivy League commit. And in our experience, my wife and I have learned that no matter how much you want to plan, strategize, tigermom, heli-copter-pop your kid to be at the top (what ever that may be)....your biggest contribution to your dd's success is being there as a guide/councilor/EQ coach/loving but deciplined parent. Some of the very dilemmas you've described, and seemingly want to fix.....are the very things required for her to be successful. Don't be afraid to let things play out. See it thru and instill the importance of Delayed Gratification.....Your kid observes your actions, good and bad, at the end of the day, that is really all that matters.

Best of luck to you/your DD.... PM me sometime in the future, love to hear how it all pans out

 

[LilStriker]

LilStrike - I preface my response by referencing your 2 separate post:



And.....



Lil - I must confess, I've been binge reading your posts on this and the other thread.....to my surprise, I'm finding myself feeling like the millions of viewers who watch tv shows like the Bachelorette or some other obscure....random reality show. You know, the ones that ya don't want to watch....don't have the time to watch...but somehow, someway.....Can get ya hooked

And after going thru this and your other thread, I don't think that I can provide any further tactical advice to you/your DD's dilemma....Especially considering your posts/inquiries read as tho you don't really want advice. Advice from many expirenced forum members who once had u-little players.....advice from parents who's DD's are committed/playing at top tier soccer and/or academic institutions and/or playing pro.

However as it may, I feel compelled to share a quick tip on the whole youth club/soccer thing....from a macro level.

I am a parent of a "Big 3" Ivy League commit. And in our experience, my wife and I have learned that no matter how much you want to plan, strategize, tigermom, heli-copter-pop your kid to be at the top (what ever that may be)....your biggest contribution to your dd's success is being there as a guide/councilor/EQ coach/loving but deciplined parent. Some of the very dilemmas you've described, and seemingly want to fix.....are the very things required for her to be successful. Don't be afraid to let things play out. See it thru and instill the importance of Delayed Gratification.....Your kid observes your actions, good and bad, at the end of the day, that is really all that matters.

Best of luck to you/your DD.... PM me sometime in the future, love to hear how it all pans out

Appreciate the feedback - PM coming soon. =)

 

[Primetime]

Sorry didn't read all the other posts but my guess would be if your daughter isn't starting and also not playing much then depending on roster size you may be doing the coach a favor by wanting off. If you play for a decent club and If there is a B team then I would Highly recommend moving to that team if at all possible. Your coach would likely suggest the same. The B team will be able to offer more time and a bigger role that your DD likely needs. It's often the best solution for the opportunity players and parents are looking for. Problem is too many parent can't swallow their pride enough to realize the "B" team is the right place for their DD.