Cal Berkeley Coach (women) abusive

I've said it before and will say it again. What motivates males to achieve and perform is different than what motivates females. It's not about females being weak or lazy because they don't like male coaches trying to coach them like they do males. It doesn't work. It doesn't achieve excellence. The psychology is different and any coach that doesn't get that is either stupid or too lazy to figure it out. You can push female athletes and have high expectations for effort, performance, and discipline but it is how to go about it that makes the difference. Male athletes want to beat out their counterparts so pitting them against each other, yelling at them, threatening them seems to work. Females athletes are motivated by other factors so if you create this hunger games mentality it tears down their basic psychology and then they can't achieve their goals. Women are about the relationship, men are about acquiring something (internal/inter-relatedness vs external/independent achievement and acquisition).
 
Soccer43 said:
I've said it before and will say it again. What motivates males to achieve and perform is different than what motivates females. It's not about females being weak or lazy because they don't like male coaches trying to coach them like they do males. It doesn't work. It doesn't achieve excellence. The psychology is different and any coach that doesn't get that is either stupid or too lazy to figure it out. You can push female athletes and have high expectations for effort, performance, and discipline but it is how to go about it that makes the difference. Male athletes want to beat out their counterparts so pitting them against each other, yelling at them, threatening them seems to work. Females athletes are motivated by other factors so if you create this hunger games mentality it tears down their basic psychology and then they can't achieve their goals. Women are about the relationship, men are about acquiring something (internal/inter-relatedness vs external/independent achievement and acquisition).
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43 is spot on. Well written bro and happy TGIF!!!
 
happy9 said:
This guy's wacky behavior goes back at least a decade. Kids are told they aren't good enough to make a team every year, across the spectrum of sports. "Neil", due to his perceived experience, should have figured out how to tell someone they they suck and to kick rocks in a manner that doesn't put him on the front page of newspapers. I think the count now is 24 young ladies accusing him of mental and physical abuse. Being accused by 3 can be questioned, accused by 24, that tastes different.

If he hasn't figured out how to objectively describe to a female athlete the advantages of being physically fit, and how it correlates to weight, then maybe he's not a good coach. Especially today, words mean something. There is a time and a place to use perceived adversity to weed people out. Constant toxicity does nothing for a team environment, not even in the Marine Corps.
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24 ladies over a 10 year period, is less than 3 per year, which doesn’t seem that bad to me.

Context is important and I think it important to acknowledge that we are talking about Cal and not Stanford. They hold your hand at Stanford but it’s sink or swim at Cal.

Freshman classes at Cal oftentimes are auditoriums and students never meet their rockstar professor. The grading curve at Cal also creates a competitive as opposed to the collaborative learning environment at Stanford.

So if the professors at Cal are not accessible and the grading curve washes folks out academically, why is a culture that is appropriate in an academic context inappropriate in a sports context? Neil is a D1 coach of young ladies not a babysitter.

Can’t blame Neil because these young ladies are struggling with the maturation process of being independent and responsible. Why aren’t they showing up prepared for their commitment? Would you expect a professor to tolerate players missing assignments and showing up to class unprepared?
 
MacDre said:
24 ladies over a 10 year period, is less than 3 per year, which doesn’t seem that bad to me.

Context is important and I think it important to acknowledge that we are talking about Cal and not Stanford. They hold your hand at Stanford but it’s sink or swim at Cal.

Freshman classes at Cal oftentimes are auditoriums and students never meet their rockstar professor. The grading curve at Cal also creates a competitive as opposed to the collaborative learning environment at Stanford.

So if the professors at Cal are not accessible and the grading curve washes folks out academically, why is a culture that is appropriate in an academic context inappropriate in a sports context? Neil is a D1 coach of young ladies not a babysitter.

Can’t blame Neil because these young ladies are struggling with the maturation process of being independent and responsible. Why aren’t they showing up prepared for their commitment? Would you expect a professor to tolerate players missing assignments and showing up to class unprepared?
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Stay in the cave I guess Dre. I hope all parties can sit down and make nice. Good luck Cal Golden Bears!!!!
 
MacDre said:
24 ladies over a 10 year period, is less than 3 per year, which doesn’t seem that bad to me.

Context is important and I think it important to acknowledge that we are talking about Cal and not Stanford. They hold your hand at Stanford but it’s sink or swim at Cal.

Freshman classes at Cal oftentimes are auditoriums and students never meet their rockstar professor. The grading curve at Cal also creates a competitive as opposed to the collaborative learning environment at Stanford.

So if the professors at Cal are not accessible and the grading curve washes folks out academically, why is a culture that is appropriate in an academic context inappropriate in a sports context? Neil is a D1 coach of young ladies not a babysitter.

Can’t blame Neil because these young ladies are struggling with the maturation process of being independent and responsible. Why aren’t they showing up prepared for their commitment? Would you expect a professor to tolerate players missing assignments and showing up to class unprepared?
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The professor doesn't tell the student he or she is lazy, stupid, too fat, or incompetent. They grade the assignment and give them a grade - objective measurement that is not a demeaning, emotional, personal attack
 
MacDre said:
24 ladies over a 10 year period, is less than 3 per year, which doesn’t seem that bad to me.

Context is important and I think it important to acknowledge that we are talking about Cal and not Stanford. They hold your hand at Stanford but it’s sink or swim at Cal.

Freshman classes at Cal oftentimes are auditoriums and students never meet their rockstar professor. The grading curve at Cal also creates a competitive as opposed to the collaborative learning environment at Stanford.

So if the professors at Cal are not accessible and the grading curve washes folks out academically, why is a culture that is appropriate in an academic context inappropriate in a sports context? Neil is a D1 coach of young ladies not a babysitter.

Can’t blame Neil because these young ladies are struggling with the maturation process of being independent and responsible. Why aren’t they showing up prepared for their commitment? Would you expect a professor to tolerate players missing assignments and showing up to class unprepared?
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We'll agree to disagree and see how this plays out.
 
crush said:
Newspaper wrote a story and we read the quotes. You and EOTL seem to think the girls need to be treated like Marines and yelling is good for the soul and calling girls out for their weight in front of others ((teammates)) is just peaches & cream. I dated a girl one time who kept asking me if she was fat. I always said no because she wasn;t. One night on a date, she asked me again. This time I leaned over and pitched her side and said, "you can lose a little" all as a joke. After that stupid comment, she stopped talking to me for two weeks. I went to her work and told her she wanst answering my phone calls ((no text back in the day)) and I was super sorry. She told me to F off and never call her again. I learned my listen and so should every male in this county. DONT TALK ABOUT A WOMANS WEIGHT. Let the trainers do the teaching, not a dude. I spoke to one male top coach and let him have it. He said sorry and never said BS like he did again to the girl players. I helped him by pulling him aside man to man and only to him and to this day he said it helped him understand girls better. Now he has 6 year old girl and he gets it, kind of. i told him to just wait when they turn 16.
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Ok moron, what were the words that Neil used? Did he tell anyone anything other than they needed to be more fit or leaner if they intended to get more playing time? That is not fat shaming, that is the reality of playing sports in an elite D1 sport, especially at a place that people apparently believe should compete for national titles.

But let me tell you what actual fat shaming is. It is a bipolar tool who spends his time here demanding that overweight people and those with comorbidities that lead to being overweight should stay the f**k home for as long as it takes so he and his alleged six pack abs can pretend nothing is happening; who is perfectly happy to get covid and transmit it to anyone who is overweight because he knows he isn’t going to die, and it’s their fault for ever leaving the house; who actually says here that people wouldn’t need the vaccine if they’d just eat better - regardless of whether their weight is the result of some other medical condition that prevents them from engaging in adequate exercise; and who actually accused me (and by implication everyone here who supports getting a vaccine and protections for those with comorbities) of living in fear because I’m allegedly overweight

It is almost impossible to overstate how lacking in self-awareness and how f**king stupid you are. Or how little empathy and brain power you have when you think that telling someone trying to be an elite athlete that they need to be leaner and more fit is “abuse”, and then you turn around and tell every overweight person in America that they just need to stay home all the time because you don’t give s**t about them and won’t get the vaccine, and claim that they wouldn’t have this problem if they only ate better.
 
MacDre said:
I don’t see this as a male/female issue. I see it as a talent issue; either you have what it takes or you don’t.
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I see it as more of a HR issue, and a serious one that needs to be addressed.

I sincerely hope the Coach is getting better advice from Cal professionals and his friends than what you are giving him, and is evaluating his words and behavior in light of these accusations. There are ways for a coach/supervisor to deal with an underperforming player/employee that do not involve insults or verbal abuse.

I think your comments about associate burnout in law firms are telling. A lot has changed over the last 15 years in terms of legal and professional standards. A senior partner, even a rainmaker, will not last very long at a medium size or large law firm making the comments that have been attributed to the Coach.

JMHO -- I like watching Cal games and enjoy reading your comments on this board, but it never hurts to reach out for additional HR training for the sake of a career.
 
MacDre said:
24 ladies over a 10 year period, is less than 3 per year, which doesn’t seem that bad to me.

Context is important and I think it important to acknowledge that we are talking about Cal and not Stanford. They hold your hand at Stanford but it’s sink or swim at Cal.

Freshman classes at Cal oftentimes are auditoriums and students never meet their rockstar professor. The grading curve at Cal also creates a competitive as opposed to the collaborative learning environment at Stanford.

So if the professors at Cal are not accessible and the grading curve washes folks out academically, why is a culture that is appropriate in an academic context inappropriate in a sports context? Neil is a D1 coach of young ladies not a babysitter.

Can’t blame Neil because these young ladies are struggling with the maturation process of being independent and responsible. Why aren’t they showing up prepared for their commitment? Would you expect a professor to tolerate players missing assignments and showing up to class unprepared?
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I love your Cal vs Stanford angle. My bro-in-law is a Stanford grad, he's annoying :) .

Not trying to make light of a serious issue, let's wait for more facts to come in.
 
l
EOTL said:
Ok moron, what were the words that Neil used? Did he tell anyone anything other than they needed to be more fit or leaner if they intended to get more playing time? That is not fat shaming, that is the reality of playing sports in an elite D1 sport, especially at a place that people apparently believe should compete for national titles.

But let me tell you what actual fat shaming is. It is a bipolar tool who spends his time here demanding that overweight people and those with comorbidities that lead to being overweight should stay the f**k home for as long as it takes so he and his alleged six pack abs can pretend nothing is happening; who is perfectly happy to get covid and transmit it to anyone who is overweight because he knows he isn’t going to die, and it’s their fault for ever leaving the house; who actually says here that people wouldn’t need the vaccine if they’d just eat better - regardless of whether their weight is the result of some other medical condition that prevents them from engaging in adequate exercise; and who actually accused me (and by implication everyone here who supports getting a vaccine and protections for those with comorbities) of living in fear because I’m allegedly overweight

It is almost impossible to overstate how lacking in self-awareness and how f**king stupid you are. Or how little empathy and brain power you have when you think that telling someone trying to be an elite athlete that they need to be leaner and more fit is “abuse”, and then you turn around and tell every overweight person in America that they just need to stay home all the time because you don’t give s**t about them and won’t get the vaccine, and claim that they wouldn’t have this problem if they only ate better.
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Cat got your tong.., er, keyboard Mr. Fat Shamer @crush man? I can’t wait to hear how you’re going to rationalize this. Better do some serious ab crunches first.
 
watfly said:
I love your Cal vs Stanford angle. My bro-in-law is a Stanford grad, he's annoying :) .

Not trying to make light of a serious issue, let's wait for more facts to come in.
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I went to both places. When I'm annoying, the Stanford people assume it is my Cal side and the Cal people assume it is my Stanford side. Me? I just say, "hey, I can't help it. I don't even exercise!" (channeling my inner Fezzik)
 
Yours in futbol said:
There are ways for a coach/supervisor to deal with an underperforming player/employee that do not involve insults or verbal abuse.
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I agree. I also think one’s perception is their reality. So, I also think Neil could have communicated weight issues and performance problems in the utmost respectful manner but it could’ve been received wrong because he was crushing someone’s childhood dream. I see Neil telling young ladies that they are not good enough and crushing their childhood dreams similar to the burden that homicide detectives have notifying the next of kin because the information is potentially catastrophic and life changing. Not easy.
 
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