Cal Berkeley Coach (women) abusive

I paid $15 and I still can;t edit and get adds out of face Dom. What's the hold up? I typed on here that my wife wants to settle in Sedona and now all I get are ads like this:


Customized Sedona Retreat
LEARN MORE

Awaken Your Spiritual Life

1608310288149.png
 
MacDre said:
I dedicate this to all the folks that hastily concluded Neil is guilty...where’s the beef?
Click to expand...
Newspaper wrote a story and we read the quotes. You and EOTL seem to think the girls need to be treated like Marines and yelling is good for the soul and calling girls out for their weight in front of others ((teammates)) is just peaches & cream. I dated a girl one time who kept asking me if she was fat. I always said no because she wasn;t. One night on a date, she asked me again. This time I leaned over and pitched her side and said, "you can lose a little" all as a joke. After that stupid comment, she stopped talking to me for two weeks. I went to her work and told her she wanst answering my phone calls ((no text back in the day)) and I was super sorry. She told me to F off and never call her again. I learned my listen and so should every male in this county. DONT TALK ABOUT A WOMANS WEIGHT. Let the trainers do the teaching, not a dude. I spoke to one male top coach and let him have it. He said sorry and never said BS like he did again to the girl players. I helped him by pulling him aside man to man and only to him and to this day he said it helped him understand girls better. Now he has 6 year old girl and he gets it, kind of. i told him to just wait when they turn 16.
 
eastbaysoccer said:
The cal soccer program is really meaningless in the big scope of things at cal. When a meaningless program starts making more press then the football and basketball team it’s time to make a move.
Click to expand...
Maybe. But I am still not convinced the problem is Neil. Maybe there should be some type of policy change. Firing the coach without addressing the underlying logistical issues doesn’t solve the problem. No one has told me yet how they’d tell a player they sucked and to kick rocks, why?

I am not sure if the press is legitimate or if Neil told a connected lawyers spoiled entitled kid that they suck and to kick rocks. I don’t think Neil is loosing any sleep over this.
 
crush said:
Newspaper wrote a story and we read the quotes. You and EOTL seem to think the girls need to be treated like Marines and yelling is good for the soul and calling girls out for their weight in front of others ((teammates)) is just peaches & cream. I dated a girl one time who kept asking me if she was fat. I always said no because she wasn;t. One night on a date, she asked me again. This time I leaned over and pitched her side and said, "you can lose a little" all as a joke. After that stupid comment, she stopped talking to me for two weeks. I went to her work and told her she wanst answering my phone calls ((no text back in the day)) and I was super sorry. She told me to F off and never call her again. I learned my listen and so should every male in this county. DONT TALK ABOUT A WOMANS WEIGHT. Let the trainers do the teaching, not a dude. I spoke to one male top coach and let him have it. He said sorry and never said BS like he did again to the girl players. I helped him by pulling him aside man to man and only to him and to this day he said it helped him understand girls better. Now he has 6 year old girl and he gets it, kind of. i told him to just wait when they turn 16.
Click to expand...
So how should a coach address fitness with an overweight player?
 
MacDre said:
So how should a coach address fitness with an overweight player?
Click to expand...
"Girls, you need to come to camp in good shape and then I will put a fall camp together so your all ready to play. I know we have 35 on the roster so make sure you work harder then the others so you can play. If your not in shape, you can sit on da bench." That's not too hard. It almost sounds like some of these coaches get pissed that little Sally 8th grader is not the same Sally of today. Kindness and patients is the key. It's true some girls think that the 8th grader player can just turn on a switch and she's back to that body. Nope, impossible. All girls grow differently too and are going through a lot more then soccer. Life is smacking them in the face. Not everyone is excellent in all areas of their lives Dre.
 
MacDre said:
So how should a coach address fitness with an overweight player?
Click to expand...
With girls, I’d say focus on positive things. Set goals for running times. Emphasize sports nutrition by talking about what foods are helpful. I don’t know many people who eat lean meat and salad but keep gaining weight.

It won’t always work, but it’s a safer bet than making people feel rotten and risk that they use food to deal with stress. It doesn’t matter whether the stress response is to skip meals or binge eat. Either one is bad.
 
dad4 said:
With girls, I’d say focus on positive things. Set goals for running times. Emphasize sports nutrition by talking about what foods are helpful. I don’t know many people who eat lean meat and salad but keep gaining weight.

It won’t always work, but it’s a safer bet than making people feel rotten and risk that they use food to deal with stress. It doesn’t matter whether the stress response is to skip meals or binge eat. Either one is bad.
Click to expand...
Throw in that some parents get divorce. Maybe new player has family issues going too. Maybe dad lost his job. All this D1 is sounding like no fun. That's why it's wise to do your research. Some players like being yelled at. Depression is huge as well.
 
MacDre said:
Maybe. But I am still not convinced the problem is Neil. Maybe there should be some type of policy change. Firing the coach without addressing the underlying logistical issues doesn’t solve the problem. No one has told me yet how they’d tell a player they sucked and to kick rocks, why?

I am not sure if the press is legitimate or if Neil told a connected lawyers spoiled entitled kid that they suck and to kick rocks. I don’t think Neil is loosing any sleep over this.
Click to expand...
This guy's wacky behavior goes back at least a decade. Kids are told they aren't good enough to make a team every year, across the spectrum of sports. "Neil", due to his perceived experience, should have figured out how to tell someone they they suck and to kick rocks in a manner that doesn't put him on the front page of newspapers. I think the count now is 24 young ladies accusing him of mental and physical abuse. Being accused by 3 can be questioned, accused by 24, that tastes different.

If he hasn't figured out how to objectively describe to a female athlete the advantages of being physically fit, and how it correlates to weight, then maybe he's not a good coach. Especially today, words mean something. There is a time and a place to use perceived adversity to weed people out. Constant toxicity does nothing for a team environment, not even in the Marine Corps.
 
dad4 said:
With girls, I’d say focus on positive things. Set goals for running times. Emphasize sports nutrition by talking about what foods are helpful. I don’t know many people who eat lean meat and salad but keep gaining weight.

It won’t always work, but it’s a safer bet than making people feel rotten and risk that they use food to deal with stress. It doesn’t matter whether the stress response is to skip meals or binge eat. Either one is bad.
Click to expand...
I think they have access to dieticians and trainers and are still unfit and overweight. How does one arrive at a P5 school without understanding diet and exercise? These ladies are either clinically depressed or don’t care.
 
I could see if it was a low number of girls saying this, but this is widespread and going back years. Where there's smoke, there's fire. And if this is just about lack of talent and fitness, what does that say about Neil's ability to recruit his preferred type of players effectively? Has he not figured this out yet? He's been a coach for years.
 
MacDre said:
I think they have access to dieticians and trainers and are still unfit and overweight. How does one arrive at a P5 school without understanding diet and exercise? These ladies are either clinically depressed or don’t care.
Click to expand...
Dre, Please go talk to your inner caveman bro. I would go take a long walk and think about what your saying today. I'm sure when EOTL has some time he will have your back on this issue.
 
MacDre said:
I think they have access to dieticians and trainers and are still unfit and overweight. How does one arrive at a P5 school without understanding diet and exercise? These ladies are either clinically depressed or don’t care.
Click to expand...
Now you are just saying things. I don't believe that you believe this - especially since you are a dad and a husband.

Sounds like Neil has been an asshat for a long time, now it's out for everyone to see.
 
happy9 said:
Now you are just saying things. I don't believe that you believe this - especially since you are a dad and a husband.
Click to expand...
No, he does. Trust me, just because your a dad and husband does not take the cave out of the man. He runs his cave just like all these swell yellers run their house....lol, just kidding Dre. Look, it takes a caveman to know another caveman. I was a yeller dad and husband and I thought that was the way to be. Its not, trust me. I learned the easy way and now I enjoy love from my wife that is out of this world. I treat my dd with respect and dont yell at her, ever. Happy, I went to a funeral 8 years ago. A dear friend of mind from college died of stomach cancer. He had a wife and two teenager kids, a boy and girl. They all shared the same fu*king thing at his funeral. My husband never raised his voice at me, never once" "One thing I loved about my dad, he never yelled or raised his voice at me." Both son and daughter said the same thing about their old man Steve. Granted Steve was an Elder in his church but the fact they all said the same thing was convicting and i felt guilty. We all got in the car after Steve was buried and I asked my kids what they thought. Guess what they said? So the moral of story is stop yelling at everyone out of anger or trying to cause pain on others because you fuc^ed up!!!!
 
I've said it before and will say it again. What motivates males to achieve and perform is different than what motivates females. It's not about females being weak or lazy because they don't like male coaches trying to coach them like they do males. It doesn't work. It doesn't achieve excellence. The psychology is different and any coach that doesn't get that is either stupid or too lazy to figure it out. You can push female athletes and have high expectations for effort, performance, and discipline but it is how to go about it that makes the difference. Male athletes want to beat out their counterparts so pitting them against each other, yelling at them, threatening them seems to work. Females athletes are motivated by other factors so if you create this hunger games mentality it tears down their basic psychology and then they can't achieve their goals. Women are about the relationship, men are about acquiring something (internal/inter-relatedness vs external/independent achievement and acquisition).
 
Soccer43 said:
I've said it before and will say it again. What motivates males to achieve and perform is different than what motivates females. It's not about females being weak or lazy because they don't like male coaches trying to coach them like they do males. It doesn't work. It doesn't achieve excellence. The psychology is different and any coach that doesn't get that is either stupid or too lazy to figure it out. You can push female athletes and have high expectations for effort, performance, and discipline but it is how to go about it that makes the difference. Male athletes want to beat out their counterparts so pitting them against each other, yelling at them, threatening them seems to work. Females athletes are motivated by other factors so if you create this hunger games mentality it tears down their basic psychology and then they can't achieve their goals. Women are about the relationship, men are about acquiring something (internal/inter-relatedness vs external/independent achievement and acquisition).
Click to expand...
43 is spot on. Well written bro and happy TGIF!!!
 
happy9 said:
This guy's wacky behavior goes back at least a decade. Kids are told they aren't good enough to make a team every year, across the spectrum of sports. "Neil", due to his perceived experience, should have figured out how to tell someone they they suck and to kick rocks in a manner that doesn't put him on the front page of newspapers. I think the count now is 24 young ladies accusing him of mental and physical abuse. Being accused by 3 can be questioned, accused by 24, that tastes different.

If he hasn't figured out how to objectively describe to a female athlete the advantages of being physically fit, and how it correlates to weight, then maybe he's not a good coach. Especially today, words mean something. There is a time and a place to use perceived adversity to weed people out. Constant toxicity does nothing for a team environment, not even in the Marine Corps.
Click to expand...
24 ladies over a 10 year period, is less than 3 per year, which doesn’t seem that bad to me.

Context is important and I think it important to acknowledge that we are talking about Cal and not Stanford. They hold your hand at Stanford but it’s sink or swim at Cal.

Freshman classes at Cal oftentimes are auditoriums and students never meet their rockstar professor. The grading curve at Cal also creates a competitive as opposed to the collaborative learning environment at Stanford.

So if the professors at Cal are not accessible and the grading curve washes folks out academically, why is a culture that is appropriate in an academic context inappropriate in a sports context? Neil is a D1 coach of young ladies not a babysitter.

Can’t blame Neil because these young ladies are struggling with the maturation process of being independent and responsible. Why aren’t they showing up prepared for their commitment? Would you expect a professor to tolerate players missing assignments and showing up to class unprepared?
 
MacDre said:
24 ladies over a 10 year period, is less than 3 per year, which doesn’t seem that bad to me.

Context is important and I think it important to acknowledge that we are talking about Cal and not Stanford. They hold your hand at Stanford but it’s sink or swim at Cal.

Freshman classes at Cal oftentimes are auditoriums and students never meet their rockstar professor. The grading curve at Cal also creates a competitive as opposed to the collaborative learning environment at Stanford.

So if the professors at Cal are not accessible and the grading curve washes folks out academically, why is a culture that is appropriate in an academic context inappropriate in a sports context? Neil is a D1 coach of young ladies not a babysitter.

Can’t blame Neil because these young ladies are struggling with the maturation process of being independent and responsible. Why aren’t they showing up prepared for their commitment? Would you expect a professor to tolerate players missing assignments and showing up to class unprepared?
Click to expand...
Stay in the cave I guess Dre. I hope all parties can sit down and make nice. Good luck Cal Golden Bears!!!!
 
MacDre said:
24 ladies over a 10 year period, is less than 3 per year, which doesn’t seem that bad to me.

Context is important and I think it important to acknowledge that we are talking about Cal and not Stanford. They hold your hand at Stanford but it’s sink or swim at Cal.

Freshman classes at Cal oftentimes are auditoriums and students never meet their rockstar professor. The grading curve at Cal also creates a competitive as opposed to the collaborative learning environment at Stanford.

So if the professors at Cal are not accessible and the grading curve washes folks out academically, why is a culture that is appropriate in an academic context inappropriate in a sports context? Neil is a D1 coach of young ladies not a babysitter.

Can’t blame Neil because these young ladies are struggling with the maturation process of being independent and responsible. Why aren’t they showing up prepared for their commitment? Would you expect a professor to tolerate players missing assignments and showing up to class unprepared?
Click to expand...

The professor doesn't tell the student he or she is lazy, stupid, too fat, or incompetent. They grade the assignment and give them a grade - objective measurement that is not a demeaning, emotional, personal attack
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top