Recruiting Tips for Parents Just Starting the Process

[dk_b]

DK, thanks for sharing. I had such an opposite experience with all that you shared, I had to go scream outside in the hills where I hike. I thinks it's best for me to just let all this go by the waste side. Interesting how this went down in the old days. I pissed the wrong person(s) off now that I understand what one parent was doing on my behalf. They talk to coach, "hey, here's the scope on so and so. Nightmare dad, dd is this and that, move on.....lol. You seem too nice of a dad to pull that sh*t and I wish I had you down here a few years ago in my dd corner and helping me get what I wanted for my dd. I was so confused when she was in 8th grade and all this pressure to email and put GPA as 8th grader on brochure. I totally understand how all this went down now. How old was the youngest that committed DK?

The youngest from her team? Or the youngest overall? I can’t answer the 2d question and as for the first - the first to commit waited until after she turned 15 but her first offers were at 14. I can’t remember the final #s - especially because this last year had a split year and only half a season due to covid but I think by the end of their Jr year they had 12 or 13 D1s and 1 D2 but 1 of the committed players ended up signing an NLI in a different sport (I should know the #s but it’s now been a while since I looked at the list)

 

[Ellejustus]

The youngest from her team? Or the youngest overall? I can’t answer the 2d question and as for the first - the first to commit waited until after she turned 15 but her first offers were at 14. I can’t remember the final #s - especially because this last year had a split year and only half a season due to covid but I think by the end of their Jr year they had 12 or 13 D1s and 1 D2 but 1 of the committed players ended up signing an NLI in a different sport (I should know the #s but it’s now been a while since I looked at the list)

14 is the right age DK. Top top goat got recruited in the old rules as 7th and 8th graders. 8th graders had to be able to ball and have big time GPA and SAT potential. I like the coach K approach. I'm sure the recruit is also seeing if he wants to ball with Coach K. It's got to be a fit for the two Eagles. I understand how the old system work and all that. You had to help out. The recruiting was a phone date. Maybe ID camp before and a quick hi and then the bday phone call. Your one of the good one's and I wish you and your dd great success in college

 

[Ellejustus]

I want to give a 5 Star Coach Review shout out to the great Tad Bobak. He get's my JW Award for 2020. He taught the girls how to live life first and my dd was blessed to be taught by him for two great years. Thank you Tad

 

[outside!]

I want to give a 5 Star Coach Review shout out to the great Tad Bobak. He get's my JW Award for 2020. He taught the girls how to live life first and my dd was blessed to be taught by him for two great years. Thank you Tad

He is also the guy that will cold call players from an opposing team to try to recruit them in the middle of the season (and replace his current players). He does this all the time. I believe coaches, players and parents should honor their commitments for a season. The only reason a player should leave a team mid-season are if the coach is abusive or the player moves. Asking a player to switch teams in the middle of the season puts pressure on them to not honor their prior commitments. Not cool.

 

[Ellejustus]

He is also the guy that will cold call players from an opposing team to try to recruit them in the middle of the season (and replace his current players). He does this all the time. I believe coaches, players and parents should honor their commitments for a season. The only reason a player should leave a team mid-season are if the coach is abusive or the player moves. Asking a player to switch teams in the middle of the season puts pressure on them to not honor their prior commitments. Not cool.

That is 100% true. That's how you keep winning. Drop the bottom 20% every year. He's super up front about that as well. He will not drop a player during the season or add a player during the season unless they moved into town. That was my two year experience. Tad played it super fair. I will look for my one year deal we signed with the great Tad. You also saw him and the Gaffer looking at next years potential recruits at other games. I would try and be his friend after games and I'm like, "where you going coach ((call me Tad please he would say)), I'm watching Slammers vs Legends. He had his note cards out too. Now my dd is not the recruited anymore. She has to earn her spot and wont find out until after the season. I told my dd that Tad is watching so and so, so you better work your ass off or your DD is getting cut.....lol. My dd loved that challenge. Some girls, no, they want promises of development and leave it up to the club and coach to make them great. Tad never promised more then one year Outside. Is he supposed to promise them a rose garden for 7 years? No promises except one and done or try and not get cut.

 

[outside!]

That is 100% true. That's how you keep winning. Drop the bottom 20% every year. He's super up front about that as well. He will not drop a player during the season or add a player during the season unless they moved into town. That was my two year experience. Tad played it super fair. I will look for my one year deal we signed with the great Tad. You also saw him and the Gaffer looking at next years potential recruits at other games. I would try and be his friend after games and I'm like, "where you going coach ((call me Tad please he would say)), I'm watching Slammers vs Legends. He had his note cards out too. Now my dd is not the recruited anymore. She has to earn her spot and wont find out until after the season. I told my dd that Tad is watching so and so, so you better work your ass off or your DD is getting cut.....lol. My dd loved that challenge. Some girls, no, they want promises of development and leave it up to the club and coach to make them great. Tad never promised more then one year Outside. Is he supposed to promise them a rose garden for 7 years? No promises except one and done or try and not get cut.

I referred ONLY to the season. I am not sure where you got seven years. He asked players on DD's team to come to his practice in the middle of the season (after a very competitive game between the two teams). I have heard that he is very honest. He told one parent of a prospective recruit "Our parents are crazy". I have known some very cool parents from his teams. They say the same thing. He is more focused on recruiting than anything else. His teams are a great way to get noticed by college coaches, but there are definitely downsides. If you see a team that does not have as many highly rated players tie or beat his team on a regular basis, you have found a coach that teaches a better game.

 

[Ellejustus]

I found it. Amazing to read back and see how fair this was. Tad made the decisions. No promises of nothing. He honored his word. No one ever joined his team mid season or borrowed to win a tournament. and i think we only had 16. My dd was approached by Goat FC recruiters and he he said, "yes" for her to play. Legends asked to borrow her for a tournament and he said, "Yes." The only time my dd and the great AT got to play together. She was guesting as well. One two punch. My dd got a killer goal in the finals but we lost. Then, Doc Spooner called for her to join his team during Surf Thanksgiving. Tad again said, "Yes." Tad never wanted to keep a goat from playing a game. he always told me to look at other car dealerships. Tad never brought a player to our team like others. He said that caused too much bad blood and he doesnt feel he is being loyal to his one year commitment he made to the parents and players. The age change was coming so that's why I wansn;t loyal to him. The other three clubs brought my dd in mid season to "win her over" and I look back and wish we never did that. I saw the look on parents faces whose kids got benched because my dd came in and stole the show, so to speak. That was wrong on my part and I see that now. You dont make friends doing that.

 

[EOTL]

He is also the guy that will cold call players from an opposing team to try to recruit them in the middle of the season (and replace his current players). He does this all the time. I believe coaches, players and parents should honor their commitments for a season. The only reason a player should leave a team mid-season are if the coach is abusive or the player moves. Asking a player to switch teams in the middle of the season puts pressure on them to not honor their prior commitments. Not cool.

The only reason a player should leave a team mid-season is if it is their best interest to do so. Kids are not the personal property or indentured servants of a youth soccer club or the parents of her teammates. If a kid finds better opportunity, be happy for them.

 

[Ellejustus]

The only reason a player should leave a team mid-season is if it is their best interest to do so. Kids are not the personal property or indentured servants of a youth soccer club or the parents of her teammates. If a kid finds better opportunity, be happy for them.

Wow, thanks. I feet better now....lol

 

[Kicker4Life]

The only reason a player should leave a team mid-season is if it is their best interest to do so. Kids are not the personal property or indentured servants of a youth soccer club or the parents of her teammates. If a kid finds better opportunity, be happy for them.

Yah...screw teaching your kids about commitment. Unless there is a problem (that doesn’t include not winning), you finish what you start.

 

[oh canada]

Yah...screw teaching your kids about commitment. Unless there is a problem (that doesn’t include not winning), you finish what you start.

Except that the clubs have it set up now where players and families are at a disadvantage....they ask for commitments months prior to the current season ending. December tryouts with State Cup in March or for the older kids March/April tryouts (sometimes earlier) with season ending June/July. Clubs deliberately set it up that way for early $$ collection. Many other states run tryouts at the right time. Blues, Legends, Surf and the few other big clubs schedule their tryouts earlier each year and the other clubs have no choice but to follow.

 

[Ellejustus]

Except that the clubs have it set up now where players and families are at a disadvantage....they ask for commitments months prior to the current season ending. December tryouts with State Cup in March or for the older kids March/April tryouts (sometimes earlier) with season ending June/July. Clubs deliberately set it up that way for early $$ collection. Many other states run tryouts at the right time. Blues, Legends, Surf and the few other big clubs schedule their tryouts earlier each year and the other clubs have no choice but to follow.

That is so tru too. So, no one size fits all. Kicker perceived I was after the natty and winning back in the day. Why? Because we won....lol. Just having some fun Kicker. In truth, i wanted my dd to be the perceived worse on the team ((smallest at the time)) and work her ass off and always look over her shoulder knowing someone was knocking on her door to take her starting spot. All this development BS was all about business and how to grow club with tier 1, 2 and 3 deep teams of world class potential. I 100% agree you should honor your commitment when possible. The only one who wants a commitment at the beginning of the year is the club....hahahahahaha. However, if the Doc is or was a bad example to young females and lies every time he open his mouth, then it's time to leave and look for and find honesty in a coach. Tad was honest and ethical and did all his recruiting out in the open. He had a knack for talent too. He told me my dd was born to play soccer He also knew some girls quit soccer so that's one reason to always keep the goats on their toes and never feel comfortable. Plus, I saw so many coaches put kids on da bench knowing they have no chance when the coach said all these glowing things before the season started to have 20 players x $$$??? plus privates. In return for pay to play, he or she will talk on your behalf to da coaches and da scouts. Better be nice and never question one's behavior or else!!!! My advice, honor your commitment unless coache or Docs lie too much. If big lie, your free to leave anytime you want.

 

[Kicker4Life]

Except that the clubs have it set up now where players and families are at a disadvantage....they ask for commitments months prior to the current season ending. December tryouts with State Cup in March or for the older kids March/April tryouts (sometimes earlier) with season ending June/July. Clubs deliberately set it up that way for early $$ collection. Many other states run tryouts at the right time. Blues, Legends, Surf and the few other big clubs schedule their tryouts earlier each year and the other clubs have no choice but to follow.

If you make the commitment, honor it!

You are the consumer, the power is yours if you take it. Otherwise you give in to the anxiety of being left out....but that’s your decision.

 

[dad4]

If you make the commitment, honor it!

You are the consumer, the power is yours if you take it. Otherwise you give in to the anxiety of being left out....but that’s your decision.

Depends a little on how the club treats players. Commitment goes both ways.

If the club promises a 17 player roster and runs with 23, then they are in no place to ask anyone to “honor their commitment”. Same goes for clubs that tell kids they made a team then never get around to actually putting them on the field.

 

[Ellejustus]

If you make the commitment, honor it!

You are the consumer, the power is yours if you take it. Otherwise you give in to the anxiety of being left out....but that’s your decision.

Ya ya, sounds all good but some of these Docs were a joke and never honored their word to some girls. I had a friend who gave a two week notice and the boss man told him to f off and grab his stuff and get out. Then another person the following week quit and the same boss man got a mad because they gave no two week notice. If your in sales and top dog and you want to leave, their is no easy way. Owners say give two weeks but I hardly see a company keep their top sales rep around for two weeks. That's for obvious reasons bro.....lol

 

[kickingandscreaming]

Yah...screw teaching your kids about commitment. Unless there is a problem (that doesn’t include not winning), you finish what you start.

Except that the clubs have it set up now where players and families are at a disadvantage....they ask for commitments months prior to the current season ending. December tryouts with State Cup in March or for the older kids March/April tryouts (sometimes earlier) with season ending June/July. Clubs deliberately set it up that way for early $$ collection. Many other states run tryouts at the right time. Blues, Legends, Surf and the few other big clubs schedule their tryouts earlier each year and the other clubs have no choice but to follow.

Both of these statements have merit. Honoring commitment is an important lesson for children, but the system is "rigged" now in favor of the club. My suggestions:
- No tryouts and no fees collected until all activities from the previous season (playoffs, championship, etc.) are complete
- Have a "cut-off" date somewhere around 1/3 to 1/2 of the season after which a player can not play in the same league/age group combination for another team than one in which they played the most league games. ("Tiebreaker" is their own age group)

I believe a year is a long time to "tie up" a child playing a game that is paid for by their parents. If we were talking about a 3 month Fall season or a 3 month Spring season, I'd feel differently about it.

dad4 mentions another good reason that we shouldn't strictly enforce a year commitment. I'd also ask if the player is expected to be at the club for a year, shouldn't the coach be expected to be there the full year as well? If not, why tie the player to the club for a full year?

Just my two cents.

 

[Kicker4Life]

Depends a little on how the club treats players. Commitment goes both ways.

If the club promises a 17 player roster and runs with 23, then they are in no place to ask anyone to “honor their commitment”. Same goes for clubs that tell kids they made a team then never get around to actually putting them on the field.

Agreed...refer back to my initial comment

 

[Ellejustus]

Depends a little on how the club treats players. Commitment goes both ways.

If the club promises a 17 player roster and runs with 23, then they are in no place to ask anyone to “honor their commitment”. Same goes for clubs that tell kids they made a team then never get around to actually putting them on the field.

We agree Dad of 4. Man, sometimes we agree and sometimes we dont and that' ok. This lie right here is the worse of of lies for those fighting for play time. 5 lucky girls get picked. If your told 23 and you sign up, cool. Not cool if your told 18 and then 20. Two unlucky are not playing. My dd was told one time right before a big game with many scouts that she will sit this one out. Classic. No way I was going to let this guy lie some more. Kicker says to honor the commitment and I say, "see ya." What a waste of time and money for kids who have to play. Not all kids and parents have to play. My kid does. We pay to play in the games, not pay and travel and watch from the bench. Liar lair pants on fire is no more........

 

[dk_b]

This is a tough topic if your kid is playing at a small club and has kids leave for the shiny object up the road. They don't go b/c the small club promised 17 and ended up with 23, they go b/c the shiny object up the road has promised more exposure, better competition and higher level training. 2 of those 3 things may be true and it may also mean more time on the bench, more $$$, a "promise" followed simply filling a roster. I'm sympathetic towards the player who has been mislead by a club and wants out but I feel scorn toward the clubs who recruit mid-cycle and "successfully" lure players and then decimate the small team of the small club.

When kids commit, they are not just committing to the club but they are to all their teammates and their teammates to them. And unless the circumstances are damaging (abuse, bullying, false promises), I don't think players should move mid-cycle and I think clubs should be sanctioned severely if/when it happens (have an appeal process so that a player can get out of the commitment if the release can't be granted amicably). I have watched this from a big and small club, I have watched kids who SHOULD move to the larger platform only to find herself playing up a couple of years not because that's the appropriate level but b/c the club needed players and I have seen players move only to sit unless/until the stars need a break. None of them - NONE OF THEM - have landed college offers and in this small sample, their departure really hurt teams in a small club.

I have also seen kids being promised a reasonable roster at an ECNL club only to have more #s than expected. And while there can be a good explanation - a national team player who missed time, the "age of injury", SATs and other weekend commitments - some players felt misled or ended up declining the final offer. If that kid had joined, I think she'd have been in her right to leave (and b/c that would be FROM a big club, the club could certainly absorb the loss).

 

[EOTL]

If you make the commitment, honor it!

You are the consumer, the power is yours if you take it. Otherwise you give in to the anxiety of being left out....but that’s your decision.

No. You are darn right that I am the consumer. If I’m not getting sufficient value out of what I’m paying for, I will go somewhere that will.

Don’t tell me my kid ever committed to play a full season anywhere. That’s a false assumption. Regardless, I would rephrase to say that I never agreed my child would pass up better opportunities and also endure a miserable 12 months because some daddy wants her to prop up his kid’s (or more likely his) self-esteem.

The irony is that any club that tries to force a kid to do something that is not in their best interest is exactly the type of club they should bail on. If a kid is better served somewhere else, a club should happily let them go. It’s incredibly petty to expect that a 13 year old girl will pass up better opportunities for herself because it benefits you. In fact, claiming that a kid is leaving because she is chasing wins is incredibly disingenuous because, really, you’re the one chasing wins by trying to keep her somewhere she doesn’t want to be.

 

[Kicker4Life]

No. You are darn right that I am the consumer. If I’m not getting sufficient value out of what I’m paying for, I will go somewhere that will.

Don’t tell me my kid ever committed to play a full season anywhere. That’s a false assumption. Regardless, I would rephrase to say that I never agreed my child would pass up better opportunities and also endure a miserable 12 months because some daddy wants her to prop up his kid’s (or more likely his) self-esteem.

The irony is that any club that tries to force a kid to do something that is not in their best interest is exactly the type of club they should bail on. If a kid is better served somewhere else, a club should happily let them go. It’s incredibly petty to expect that a 13 year old girl will pass up better opportunities for herself because it benefits you. In fact, claiming that a kid is leaving because she is chasing wins is incredibly disingenuous because, really, you’re the one chasing wins by trying to keep her somewhere she doesn’t want to be.

I can’t tell if you are agreeing or arguing....like I said, as long as there aren’t other issues that don’t include winning games.

The OP was about a coach who would call to recruit players from other teams. If everything is fine with Coach, roster, environment, etc, you should honor your commitment and not just bail for the perceived greener pastures.