I cannot stress this last sentence enough. Part of coaching "college potential" players at the club level during their recruiting years is marketing your players to college coaches. College coaches don't want to hear from parents and while they do want the players to drive the conversation once it gets started, an engaged club coach/advocate is ENORMOUS. I have seen first hand what happens when you have coaches who are responsive to college coaches and are advocates for players and what happens when club coaches don't do jack s*it to respond to calls or to assist w/a player's "list". It is not in the coach's interest for his or her player to be placed above the player's ability but it absolutely is part of the job to find the right level and then advocate for the player (D1, D2, D3, NAIA, community college). When I think of coaches who shirk that responsibility I get PISSED b/c there are kids whom I have known since U-littles who are good players and could play in college (not P5 and maybe not D1 but somewhere) who never got a sniff b/c they did not understand the process (they thought it was a "if you play in a 'college showcase', you will be seen" and that will be that, no matter the level, the colleges attending, etc.) and the coach did very little to educate them on their role and on the coach's role.
Short story: I was always the guy working the sideline for my kid's team - I put together the brochure, talked with the coaches, pointed out the younger ones (who were a HS class behind most of the kids) and the ones who were uncommitted, etc. I did it for the years after my kid committed b/c I really enjoyed it and I was able to get to know the coaches (they didn't always know my name but they knew I was my kid's dad and it was fun to talk to them about the team, about their team, about my own kid (of course) w/o the "pressure" of recruiting). I offer that by way of background b/c there was one guy from one of the SoCal clubs who was just so awesome about talking to the coaches, He was a marvel. My daughter's team matched with that club pretty much every year she played - starting at Surf Cup, two years in EGSL NorCal-SoCal showcases (when ECNL started at U14 so these were U12 and U13 events) and then every year in an ECNL showcase, so I got to watch him a lot (though not in those early years b/c we weren't doing the sideline thing). The contrast with me - just some dad who enjoyed the process, felt OK with chatting, etc. v a real "soccer guy" who knew the players and the college coaches, who had a track record individually and whose club had a big footprint - was so big. But he wasn't a dick about it - he was great. I'm not going to name him or the club (though it looks like he's no longer part of that club - not sure how long ago he would have left) b/c most of you SoCal people have more info about all the coaches and this is very much a surface-based observation (for all I know he was a monster even if he treated me well when we'd see each other in the airport). But I thought to myself, "THAT's how you do it if you are the DOC or technical director or just a coach of a team that is not playing but whose sister team is". You make the time. You do your job.
@Simisoccerfan's last sentence probably provides me with this one piece of unsolicited advice: if your kid's coach is NOT doing the legwork, find a new coach who will (it includes being able to listen when the coach gives an honest assessment of the right level).