Recruiting Tips for Parents Just Starting the Process

[outside!]

I agree with everything you are saying. In the end, the high school's decision is short-sighted and unlikely to deter anyone from playing DA, but it's also hard to blame them for holding the line in opposition to an unfair policy by doing the only thing within their control. When the only steps available to oppose an unfair policy are petty, you often get pettiness.

I heard about a school district that responded to the HS ban by denying the entire club (DA and non-DA teams) access to field space at any school in the district. If you thought that making road kill out of one kid trying to attend a NLI ceremony was harsh, imagine hundreds of U7-U12 kids paying the price for USSF's unfair HS ban.

For the record, I believe the ban on HS soccer by the DA to be counter productive. Having said that, I do not see and have not seen the powers that be that determine all of the issues that govern HS soccer doing much of anything to improve the negative aspects. I still see new schools being built with fields that are too small that encourage more physical play. Most schools still use the 2 ref system, when football gets 5 to 7 referees. Athletic Directors actively discourage soccer players from getting opportunities to get a college scholarship (they are the ones that vote on CIF rules). I could go on and on, but soccer is still treated like the red headed step child of high school sports.

 

[End of the Line]

Go to the school district right away unless it is private. get the media's attention. id do it just to jam it up their arse. It is a big moment for her

Be careful what you ask for. The school district probably opposes the HS ban also and might decide the best solution is to retaliate on a greater scale against the club (see above) or even your kid since she's still at school through the end of the school year. The HS has already proven it is petty, so what makes you think that poking the bear isn't going to make things worse? As for media attention, are you not listening? Let's say you get the hit piece you want and not an article about crazy soccer parents and stupid USSF policies. Congratulations, you and your kid are now persona non grata in the neighborhood if you didn't already burn that bridge with your prior negative online commentary about the HS soccer team and AD. How many times do I have to tell people that the best way to get what you want in life is to foster positive relationships with those who have control over what you want. Don't threaten to sue them. Don't trash them online. Don't complain to the press. If it's too late for you to get one thing, it's not too late for the next thing that you were too short-sighted to see coming down the road. As I have previously told @Simisoccerfan, if you're going for the kill shot, you'd better hit.

 

[MakeAPlay]

I agree with everything you are saying. In the end, the high school's decision is short-sighted and unlikely to deter anyone from playing DA, but it's also hard to blame them for holding the line in opposition to an unfair policy by doing the only thing within their control. When the only steps available to oppose an unfair policy are petty, you often get pettiness.

I heard about a school district that responded to the HS ban by denying the entire club (DA and non-DA teams) access to field space at any school in the district. If you thought that making road kill out of one kid trying to attend a NLI ceremony was harsh, imagine hundreds of U7-U12 kids paying the price for USSF's unfair HS ban.

Sounds like a terrible school district.

 

[End of the Line]

Sounds like a terrible school district.

A terrible national soccer organization, when combined with a terrible school district and a terrible soccer dad, makes for a toxic brew. That is for sure.

 

[MakeAPlay]

Be careful what you ask for. The school district probably opposes the HS ban also and might decide the best solution is to retaliate on a greater scale against the club (see above) or even your kid since she's still at school through the end of the school year. The HS has already proven it is petty, so what makes you think that poking the bear isn't going to make things worse? As for media attention, are you not listening? Let's say you get the hit piece you want and not an article about crazy soccer parents and stupid USSF policies. Congratulations, you and your kid are now persona non grata in the neighborhood if you didn't already burn that bridge with your prior negative online commentary about the HS soccer team and AD. How many times do I have to tell people that the best way to get what you want in life is to foster positive relationships with those who have control over what you want. Don't threaten to sue them. Don't trash them online. Don't complain to the press. If it's too late for you to get one thing, it's not too late for the next thing that you were too short-sighted to see coming down the road. As I have previously told @Simisoccerfan, if you're going for the kill shot, you'd better hit.

Or you can show up at a board meeting for the school district and turn up the heat. At the end of the day the AD messed up and was petty and is probably just some stupid gym teacher who is a hater. Personally I would have raised hell. My kid missed tons of her high school games due to ODP and YNT stuff and her AD, principal and coach were very supportive. Maybe it is because this was south Orange County and all of the varsity players are club players (not to mention she played ECNL which shut down for the high school season locally). Going away quietly isn't the way that I would want my kid to learn. Teaching them that it is okay to be petty to punish kids or obsequious in order to get on somebody's good side is weak behavior in my opinion.

 

[MakeAPlay]

A terrible national soccer organization, when combined with a terrible school district and a terrible soccer dad, makes for a toxic brew. That is for sure.

@Simisoccerfan isn't a terrible soccer dad. US Soccer does suck as an organization. Kid's shouldn't be punished for what adults do...

 

[End of the Line]

Or you can show up at a board meeting for the school district and turn up the heat. At the end of the day the AD messed up and was petty and is probably just some stupid gym teacher who is a hater. Personally I would have raised hell. My kid missed tons of her high school games due to ODP and YNT stuff and her AD, principal and coach were very supportive. Maybe it is because this was south Orange County and all of the varsity players are club players (not to mention she played ECNL which shut down for the high school season locally). Going away quietly isn't the way that I would want my kid to learn. Teaching them that it is okay to be petty to punish kids or obsequious in order to get on somebody's good side is weak behavior in my opinion.

Like I said earlier, if you go for the kill shot, you better hit.

There is no doubt in my mind that your kid's AD, principal and coach were supportive at least in part because you and your daughter developed good relationships with them. I'm not going to waste my time looking at your older posts, but I suspect you've never made a negative comment on this board about your kid's HS team, coach or AD. The reason you're talking in hypotheticals about how you would handle a similar situation is because you never would have been in this predicament in the first place. In fact, I'd probably agree that going scorched earth would be the right thing for you since you presumably established your credibility with the school and laid the groundwork necessary to ensure that the AD's decision was indefensible before you went that direction.

 

[jose]

Be careful what you ask for. The school district probably opposes the HS ban also and might decide the best solution is to retaliate on a greater scale against the club (see above) or even your kid since she's still at school through the end of the school year. The HS has already proven it is petty, so what makes you think that poking the bear isn't going to make things worse? As for media attention, are you not listening? Let's say you get the hit piece you want and not an article about crazy soccer parents and stupid USSF policies. Congratulations, you and your kid are now persona non grata in the neighborhood if you didn't already burn that bridge with your prior negative online commentary about the HS soccer team and AD. How many times do I have to tell people that the best way to get what you want in life is to foster positive relationships with those who have control over what you want. Don't threaten to sue them. Don't trash them online. Don't complain to the press. If it's too late for you to get one thing, it's not too late for the next thing that you were too short-sighted to see coming down the road. As I have previously told @Simisoccerfan, if you're going for the kill shot, you'd better hit.

IF the relationship was fostered then they did that they they are jerks and if i felt pissed off enough id kick that bear in the nuts. Never be scared of a frigging school principle or coach they are just working stiffs like the rest of us no better no worse. If they try to retaliate they will be up a bigger creek. I've taken on the school district in a way more serious matter they back off if it brings bad publicity. That doesn't mean you end up getting your way but at least you didn't fold like a wimp.

 

[Simisoccerfan]

Wow a lot of posts here. Looks like my nemesis is likely posting bad things about me. The bottom line is that she played for the HS team for 3 years. Last year they allowed all of the DA girls sitting out to attend the signing event. This year the AD told her she was being excluded. I thought that was a bit unfair. I was very polite in my email to him though my dd felt he was a bit rude when he talked to her. The surrounding High Schools in our area have not yet taken the same approach. I have never personally met the AD. I have good relationship with the HS coach who also had previously coached my dd in club for several years. She had nothing to do with the decision. It is what it is. Like every parent here I just want what it best for my kids and all kids everywhere.

On another topic this is a forum meant to share opinions. Not everyone will agree with those opinions and that is fine. For me the opinions that I post here to my fellow soccer fanatics helps me to vent and the banter can be fun. 99.9% of the people associated with soccer in CA don't even know or care about this forum. In the real world I have been nothing but supportive of HS and club soccer. I show up at every event. Volunteer my time. Donate. Drive my kids and their teammates to practices and games including out of area games. And cheer for everyone. This is both for HS and club. You can accuse me of being too proud of my kids but don't assume you know me or how I act in the real world based on my posts on this forum.

 

[Simisoccerfan]

I hesitate to post this since I know how some people respond on this forum but my dd hurt her knee last week on the same day she signed her NLI. She is the sweetest, hardest working girl and I have been sick to my stomach these past few days. She spoke to her college coach before turning in the NLI (since that is the right thing to do) and they told her not to worry. They hope for the best but either way they are happy to have her. MRI was done today and it will be a few days until we know the results. You can hate on me all you want but please send positive thoughts her way.

 

[MakeAPlay]

I hesitate to post this since I know how some people respond on this forum but my dd hurt her knee last week on the same day she signed her NLI. She is the sweetest, hardest working girl and I have been sick to my stomach these past few days. She spoke to her college coach before turning in the NLI (since that is the right thing to do) and they told her not to worry. They hope for the best but either way they are happy to have her. MRI was done today and it will be a few days until we know the results. You can hate on me all you want but please send positive thoughts her way.

Best of luck to your daughter. Hopefully it is minor. Don't worry about opinions because everyone has one and unless it is your spouse or daughter's coach giving the opinion than it carries about as much weight as you allow it (which should be zero). Continue to fight the good fight and a speedy recovery to your player.

 

[outside!]

I hesitate to post this since I know how some people respond on this forum but my dd hurt her knee last week on the same day she signed her NLI. She is the sweetest, hardest working girl and I have been sick to my stomach these past few days. She spoke to her college coach before turning in the NLI (since that is the right thing to do) and they told her not to worry. They hope for the best but either way they are happy to have her. MRI was done today and it will be a few days until we know the results. You can hate on me all you want but please send positive thoughts her way.

Very sorry to hear that Simi. I know a few players that hurt their knees prior to reporting to their college team. They spent the fall season on the injured list, and are getting back into training to be ready for next fall. Some of them may even play this spring season. Best of luck to your DD.

 

[CaliKlines]

I hesitate to post this since I know how some people respond on this forum but my dd hurt her knee last week on the same day she signed her NLI. She is the sweetest, hardest working girl and I have been sick to my stomach these past few days. She spoke to her college coach before turning in the NLI (since that is the right thing to do) and they told her not to worry. They hope for the best but either way they are happy to have her. MRI was done today and it will be a few days until we know the results. You can hate on me all you want but please send positive thoughts her way.

Hopefully it is not too serious and she rebounds quickly...JW is a quality guy and he won't view this as anything other than a small bump in the road. Best wishes to your player...

 

[Dubs]

I already expressed my displeasure with what they are doing. I hoped that they would change their minds but I am not going to force them to honor her. In my mind two wrongs don't make a right. It just was a dick move not to recognize her in front of her peers and my understanding was that the coach had nothing to do with the decision. It was all the AD.

That is REALLY disappointing to hear... Congrats to your daughter. All praises to her and her hard work/accomplishments. I just don't understand the hate even though my DD gets it too. All the best!

 

[gkrent]

You can accuse me of being too proud of my kids but don't assume you know me or how I act in the real world based on my posts on this forum.

You can never be too proud of your kid. Take care and best wishes for you daughter and her knee recovery.

 

[Justafan]

"Instead of playing a miserable game in the rain tonight with a team that none of her friends play on anymore, she is in Florida with 15 of her best friends."

In addition to that little gem, you also made sure to let everyone know your daughter was last year's MVP and is the school's "only DI athlete".

Simi, if that first quote above is yours, then you are just as petty as the AD you complain about. Simi, you can't take the high road and fire shots at the same time. There are pluses and minuses to playing DA and you have to deal with the minuses just as those of us that aren't DA have to deal with the minuses of not playing DA (assuming we could if we wanted to).

Which brings me to my next subject, why doesn't DA allow the players that aren't national team caliber just play high school ball. The solution for me is easy. Select the players that are truly elite and national team caliber and have a special 2-3 month camp with them during high school season and let the rest play high school. US Soccer can do whatever they want with these players during this period. If they want to travel to other cities or countries for friendlies or training, there are plenty of vacation days during this period (i.e. Thanksgiving, Christmas, MLK, 2 Presidents days).

For 99% of DA players, college will be the end of it, so let them have some fun. And don't start with this "my daughter would rather train with her DA team than play high school." That's like a kid saying he'd rather study than go to Disneyland.

 

[LadiesMan217]

For 99% of DA players, college will be the end of it, so let them have some fun. And don't start with this "my daughter would rather train with her DA team than play high school." That's like a kid saying he'd rather study than go to Disneyland.

LOL - daughter is sitting across from me and I straight out asked her would she rather train for DA or play HS soccer - she flat out said DA training. Don't know what to tell you.

 

[MarkM]

Simi, if that first quote above is yours, then you are just as petty as the AD you complain about. Simi, you can't take the high road and fire shots at the same time. There are pluses and minuses to playing DA and you have to deal with the minuses just as those of us that aren't DA have to deal with the minuses of not playing DA (assuming we could if we wanted to).

Which brings me to my next subject, why doesn't DA allow the players that aren't national team caliber just play high school ball. The solution for me is easy. Select the players that are truly elite and national team caliber and have a special 2-3 month camp with them during high school season and let the rest play high school. US Soccer can do whatever they want with these players during this period. If they want to travel to other cities or countries for friendlies or training, there are plenty of vacation days during this period (i.e. Thanksgiving, Christmas, MLK, 2 Presidents days).

For 99% of DA players, college will be the end of it, so let them have some fun. And don't start with this "my daughter would rather train with her DA team than play high school." That's like a kid saying he'd rather study than go to Disneyland.

You are aware that even if DA changed the rule, CIF prevents DA players from competing in CIF. That's what makes this thread so ridiculous. CIF has the same rule as DA, except DA makes an exception for national team players. No ODP, no club, no national team games under CIF rules (see Section 600 under the bylaws). Yet, we are making this about kids playing DA? You also seem confused about the HS soccer season. Depending on what part of the country you are in, HS season could be a different season. That's why ECNL has so many showcases so it accommodate the different HS seasons.

And yes, some players rather play DA (or on any club team) than play HS. In HS, you have no choice regarding your coach or teammates. Some coaches and teammates are awful, which is 4 years of misery. It's worse in HS when kids are so click-ish and you have upperclasswomen who can be petty. I've had some love HS teams, and others hate HS teams. It's far from Disneyland.

 

[Justafan]

You are aware that even if DA changed the rule, CIF prevents DA players from competing in CIF. That's what makes this thread so ridiculous. CIF has the same rule as DA, except DA makes an exception for national team players. No ODP, no club, no national team games under CIF rules (see Section 600 under the bylaws). Yet, we are making this about kids playing DA? You also seem confused about the HS soccer season. Depending on what part of the country you are in, HS season could be a different season. That's why ECNL has so many showcases so it accommodate the different HS seasons.

And yes, some players rather play DA (or on any club team) than play HS. In HS, you have no choice regarding your coach or teammates. Some coaches and teammates are awful, which is 4 years of misery. It's worse in HS when kids are so click-ish and you have upperclasswomen who can be petty. I've had some love HS teams, and others hate HS teams. It's far from Disneyland.

Don't know the rules, but something tells me they can be worked out. With regards to rather playing DA or high school don’t take my word for it just ask every national team player and all college players before DA came along if they would have elected to forego playing high school ball in order to train more with their club team? I’ll put some money on that one.

 

[Soccer43]

as I have said many times - not every player and not every high school soccer team is the same. Some top elite players have the best time playing for their high school team and wouldn't miss it while others hate it. Some leagues are competitive and play decent soccer and some are a hatchet jobs.

 

[Justafan]

as I have said many times - not every player and not every high school soccer team is the same. Some top elite players have the best time playing for their high school team and wouldn't miss it while others hate it. Some leagues are competitive and play decent soccer and some are a hatchet jobs.

Playing high school has little to do with the level of play, it’s almost ALL about the social aspect.