Coach working in God mode?

focomoso said:
I agree with your entire list except this one (and perhaps coaches worrying about their livelihood: they don't get paid much and work very hard and have to make a living...)

It's when coaches put their team ahead of development that I see a problem.
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Coaches put the team ahead of development because parents chase the wins, the clubs advertise them (and the clubs are all looking for growth) and we have a tiered system (where lower teams are looking for promotion or to stay competitive within the band)....if they don't they either lose their teams or get fired......should have probably added the ban system we have (which causes it's own problems but then I don't know what to replace them...you'd have gold teams out there crushing newly formed bronze teams)).

Meh, I'm a case in point of putting my son's development in front of his team. If he had been a bencher I would have pushed for playtime (seeing I think at '08 the players should all get some playtime if they are on the team), I pushed for him to get field time, I pushed for him to learn the backpass and to be given some attention during the pregame warmup, and I looked to get the team involved in some parties and social events. In retrospect, I was a squeeky wheel to the coaches who wanted to be left alone, not questioned, and who just wanted to do what it took to get some wins on the board and juggle their 3 teams. I could have just shut up and taken what they offered like our team manager, but then it was the first time out and I believed in them and was naive about club soccer. I've come to realize that what's good for the child isn't necessarily what's good for the coach (or the parent) and that's part of the problem. In any case, I've coached and have friends that have coached and one of the thing that annoys them most is parents who think they know what they are doing (some of us do, though a little knowledge is a dangerous things, and many of us don't) and who interfere with their vision (whether right or wrong....because then basically it comes down to who is right and no coach is ever going to admit they are wrong or in it, even a little bit, for themselves....when asked everyone from US Soccer,to the coaches to the refs to the parents say they are in it "for the kids"...it's just not human nature since we all want to see ourselves as being noble).
 
80sforce said:
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This is funny, but true. But like everything, there are a bunch of reasons why this happens and it's not just snowflake syndrome. If anything, one of the reasons is because Gen X and the early Millenials are more competitive than their parents and actually care about the "wins" in school instead of just accepting their kids for who they are. Then there's the fact that college admissions have become more competitive and so more is on the line and there's a greater demand to be perfect.

True story: my parents never interfered with my education (even against a nun in 6th grade who was border line abusive but in the end taught me a great deal about responsibility, personal commitment, and excellence) until high school. My freshman year of high school, I had a teacher who was a full blown socialist whose first 4 weeks of European history lessons were social justice issues (contemporary, not historical)...week 2 was a lesson on how US agribusiness was ruining Latin America and we needed to go back to the days of community (read peasant) farming....rather than regurg the rubbish, for the example I presented a defense about how (even though it has negative consequences such as pollution, poverty and migration to the cities, which I expressly referenced) mass agribusiness was actually responsible for increasing farm yields throughout the world....pretty balanced approach, highlighting the positives and the negatives, as well as what could be done better. She flunked me. My parents were livid and it was the first time they ever called a parent conference to discuss a grade. Teacher tried to argue I didn't understand the material and she was grading me on my failure to memorize, rather than my rebutting her political views. My father, to his credit didn't take it and questioned up to the principal why we were even learning this material instead of what's in the history book. Given what's on the line now days, I can't see a parent allowing the same situation now days without calling in the lawyers. And I couldn't see the same school allowing the teacher to go off on the rails on a private political agenda instead of teaching the curriculum (yeah, I know both red states and blue states put indoctrination into the curriculum now....how else is indoctrination going to get into schools).

So yeah, but the days of people just deferring to authority, for better or worse, right or left, are pretty much over. That extends to soccer too, which is why you get so many noisy questioning parents which are the bain of coaches' existence.
 
Have any of you encountered a coach with zero back bone who let's these people like Gee walk all over them and the team?

I know most large clubs have zero tolerance but I'm talking about the smaller ones and you know the type. The parent who needs to talk with the coach before and after practice and immediately after the games and typically blames the better tallent for their kids shortcomings and tries to get other parents to buy into their Bs

Yeah.... That parent.
 
Chalklines said:
But here's the problem.

Guys like gee are already implanted in each of our clubs. They're always delusional about their kids tallent level and the bitching starts usually starts because of playing time.

Why cant we just be honest with our kids? Is it that hard? Instead of blaming everyone else for their short comings why not use it as motivation to get better?

I'll even take it one step further. Let's start by asking your kid if they even want to play.

Have you even taken a minute to think about how embarrassed and uncomfortable your making them by your actions.....again?
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That just sucks!!
 
Yolinda said:
That just sucks!!
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Live and learn.

I have an older at a big club that allows zero parental input and a younger at a much smaller club who's coach entertains the daily circle jerk before/during/after every game and practice.

Problem with a cancer parent is if you dont cut them off it spreads and only gets worse. Club will learn the hard way when the talent walks at the end of the season. Its much better for a program to cut its loss with one family now then risk the potential of a team blow up come January.
 
Chalklines said:
Live and learn.

I have an older at a big club that allows zero parental input and a younger at a much smaller club who's coach entertains the daily circle jerk before/during/after every game and practice.

Problem with a cancer parent is if you dont cut them off it spreads and only gets worse. Club will learn the hard way when the talent walks at the end of the season. Its much better for a program to cut its loss with one family now then risk the potential of a team blow up come January.
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We have two DD that play club. We went to a smaller club with the younger dd and parent politics are horrible. We want a coach with zero tolerance, so we will be leaving.

It depends on the coach, not the club in my experience. We have had plenty of coaches at big clubs play grab a$$ with the parents. Especially, if they got something out of it.
 
Yolinda said:
We have two DD that play club. We went to a smaller club with the younger dd and parent politics are horrible. We want a coach with zero tolerance, so we will be leaving.

It depends on the coach, not the club in my experience. We have had plenty of coaches at big clubs play grab a$$ with the parents. Especially, if they got something out of it.
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There are plenty of cases of coaches grabbing more than a$$ with some parents.
 
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