SoCal Soccer Attitude Change

espola said:
Those are good words for a pep talk, but little else.

If you are truly good enough so that you always play a bad call or two better than your opponents, you don't need the pep talk.
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Little else? Really?
How many National Championships under your belt MAgoo? Surf Cups?
Pep talk or great coaching?
Some of both?
Blaming the ref for poor performance is just another easy excuse.
"We woulda won except the ref robbed us." Bla bla bla.
Control what you can, play the game and realize the ref is a part of the game you can't control.
Stop looking for excuses.....play good soccer. Three super group championships in a row tend to prove the point...hell of a pep talk.:cool:
 
Lion Eyes said:
Little else? Really?
How many National Championships under your belt MAgoo? Surf Cups?
Pep talk or great coaching?
Some of both?
Blaming the ref for poor performance is just another easy excuse.
"We woulda won except the ref robbed us." Bla bla bla.
Control what you can, play the game and realize the ref is a part of the game you can't control.
Stop looking for excuses.....play good soccer. Three super group championships in a row prove the point...hell of a pep talk.:cool:
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Winning philosophy as opposed to lame excuse philosophy
Some people need excuses
Some don't
 
Lion Eyes said:
Little else? Really?
How many National Championships under your belt MAgoo? Surf Cups?
Pep talk or great coaching?
Some of both?
Blaming the ref for poor performance is just another easy excuse.
"We woulda won except the ref robbed us." Bla bla bla.
Control what you can, play the game and realize the ref is a part of the game you can't control.
Stop looking for excuses.....play good soccer. Three super group championships in a row tend to prove the point...hell of a pep talk.:cool:
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Did he ask them to deliver 110% also?

How did this come down to blaming the ref?
 
The fact that the refs that frequent this site get so defensive and are so quick try and deflect any bit of criticism proves the point that many on here are trying to get across. Every time someone on here questions anything a ref does there is a little clique of refs that all jump in and immediately start posting counter points like you insulted there mother or something. This same dynamic is what many of us think is a problem. Somebody's mom yells, "come on ref!" or "no way" or "you need to call that" etc and a alarm goes in there head, red star clusters fill the sky and they stop the game, (the same game that they say needs to flow so they don't make some calls) come over to the sideline, caution the coach or in many cases confront the perpetrator and exercise the authority given to them by the league, tournament or soccer god to nip the "abuse" in the bud. simply because some spectator questioned their call or lack of call. Don't you guys see what the complaint is? I know I just dont get it.......
 
wildcat66 said:
The fact that the refs that frequent this site get so defensive and are so quick try and deflect any bit of criticism proves the point that many on here are trying to get across. Every time someone on here questions anything a ref does there is a little clique of refs that all jump in and immediately start posting counter points like you insulted there mother or something. This same dynamic is what many of us think is a problem. Somebody's mom yells, "come on ref!" or "no way" or "you need to call that" etc and a alarm goes in there head, red star clusters fill the sky and they stop the game, (the same game that they say needs to flow so they don't make some calls) come over to the sideline, caution the coach or in many cases confront the perpetrator and exercise the authority given to them by the league, tournament or soccer god to nip the "abuse" in the bud. simply because some spectator questioned their call or lack of call. Don't you guys see what the complaint is? I know I just dont get it.......
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You definitely don't get it!
 
wildcat66 said:
Perhaps more soothing music, lavender scented mist and calm reasonable lamentation would awaken my understanding right.....
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Maybe it could work, everybody deserves a chance to change.
But I have a feeling your just one of those guys who hates the world. Things are going so bad for you that you look for any chance to lash out at others for the problems in your life. You prey on easy targets such as refs in children's forums. There really are not any "real" authority figures to stop you from acting out your anger. Your surrounded by your kids teammates parents who are a sympathetic audience, which is what you crave. No one from the other team is going to stop because your only hurting your team and frankly, your not really worth anybody's time to get into it with you anyway. Your part of that adolescent group of manboys that unfortunately turn out every weekend all across fields in Socal!
Hopefully this thread and dialogue may have helped some people to recognize their needs to be a change in sideline abuse towards refs. I'm trying to step up and make a change for the better..but I'm sure there are plenty of guys like you who think it's your right to lash out on weekends because your a sheep in real life.
 
Sentient Being said:
Maybe it could work, everybody deserves a chance to change.
But I have a feeling your just one of those guys who hates the world. Things are going so bad for you that you look for any chance to lash out at others for the problems in your life. You prey on easy targets such as refs in children's forums. There really are not any "real" authority figures to stop you from acting out your anger. Your surrounded by your kids teammates parents who are a sympathetic audience, which is what you crave. No one from the other team is going to stop because your only hurting your team and frankly, your not really worth anybody's time to get into it with you anyway. Your part of that adolescent group of manboys that unfortunately turn out every weekend all across fields in Socal!
Hopefully this thread and dialogue may have helped some people to recognize their needs to be a change in sideline abuse towards refs. I'm trying to step up and make a change for the better..but I'm sure there are plenty of guys like you who think it's your right to lash out on weekends because your a sheep in real life.
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More like a sheep dog in real life, some would say protecting the sheep from the wolves. Perhaps that is the problem that I have. I have been yelled at, spit on, had rotten stuff thrown at me and a few other things best left unsaid done to me. Did I take it personal? Did I feel I had to educate the masses in being better humans? Nope just did my job in a professional manner and let the little stuff roll off my back as it didn't really matter anyway. As I have said in here, I rarely say anything at a game to anyone, let alone abuse the refs. I just think they need to be a little more thick skinned and let some of the crowd noise be just that, noise. I think they do a decent job for the most part. I try to base my opinions on my personal observations and logic taking emotion and rhetorical banter out of it. I wonder if the ref would be more inclined to not stop the game if the next time somebody yelled "come on ref" that instead they said, "excuse me, Mr Official, I believe your decision to call that player offside may have been incorrect. It seems that you were not in a good position to see the players, but don't fret, as you become more experienced you will do better next time."
 
wildcat66 said:
More like a sheep dog in real life, some would say protecting the sheep from the wolves. Perhaps that is the problem that I have. I have been yelled at, spit on, had rotten stuff thrown at me and a few other things best left unsaid done to me. Did I take it personal? Did I feel I had to educate the masses in being better humans? Nope just did my job in a professional manner and let the little stuff roll off my back as it didn't really matter anyway. As I have said in here, I rarely say anything at a game to anyone, let alone abuse the refs. I just think they need to be a little more thick skinned and let some of the crowd noise be just that, noise. I think they do a decent job for the most part. I try to base my opinions on my personal observations and logic taking emotion and rhetorical banter out of it. I wonder if the ref would be more inclined to not stop the game if the next time somebody yelled "come on ref" that instead they said, "excuse me, Mr Official, I believe your decision to call that player offside may have been incorrect. It seems that you were not in a good position to see the players, but don't fret, as you become more experienced you will do better next time."
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Things I said that got me sent from the field --

"If you are not going to call fouls like that, you should tell the players before the game"

"There is no offside if there is no pass"

And this one -- "There's no such rule" -- got me a stare and a finger wave, but I won $5 later when I bet a different ref about it.
 
espola said:
Things I said that got me sent from the field --

"If you are not going to call fouls like that, you should tell the players before the game"

"There is no offside if there is no pass"

And this one -- "There's no such rule" -- got me a stare and a finger wave, but I won $5 later when I bet a different ref about it.
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Wildcat and espola, I doubt any ref would stop a game for somebody CALMLY saying those objections during a match..1 time. But we all know that what we are talking about here is the abusive behavior when those comments are made nonstop by a parent standing over the touch line yelling at the top of their lungs in a threatening manner going bezerk!
 
My wife got cautioned once at halftime because the lady behind her was yelling at a different game...she told the ref, "But i didnt say anything." He told her, "If I have to caution you again I am going to have to ask you to leave." We all got a big laugh out of it but it showed just how observant and clueless he was. Once again, I think refs do a good job most of the time.....
 
Sentient Being said:
Wildcat and espola, I doubt any ref would stop a game for somebody CALMLY saying those objections during a match..1 time. But we all know that what we are talking about here is the abusive behavior when those comments are made nonstop by a parent standing over the touch line yelling at the top of their lungs in a threatening manner going bezerk!
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The first one I didn't have to shout - the referee was less than 10 yards from me watching while the coach looked after the injured player on the field. I was lying on a blanket in the shade under the bushes alongside the field cooling off after my son's game. After the referee asked me to leave, the coach said "I agree with him", so the ref made him leave also. Since then the coach and I have had a beautiful friendship.

The last one was at a high school game, where the referee (a well-known local ref famous or his quirky calls) called a foul throwin and gave the ball to the other team because of some technicality. I said "there's no such rule" more in humor than anger - he pointed his finger at me and said "No more from you". Since he does a lot of high school games where I am the PA announcer, I have come to know him very well over the years - I know to call him Dr. and how to pronounce his name properly. I guess when he was younger (as in the 1960's). he was a teenage defender for his national team and eventually played in the Olympics.

He is still reffing in his 70's, and everybody knows him - which is how I got the $5. I was a field marshal at a tournament the following year, and I told this story to one of the referees waiting for his next game. We made a bet on whether the Dr's call was legit, he looked it up in his rulebook, and then paid me the $5.
 
wildcat66 said:
My wife got cautioned once at halftime because the lady behind her was yelling at a different game...she told the ref, "But i didnt say anything." He told her, "If I have to caution you again I am going to have to ask you to leave." We all got a big laugh out of it but it showed just how observant and clueless he was. Once again, I think refs do a good job most of the time.....
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In 2008, both my sons were playing on the same team in National Cup in Lancaster. All the parents were loud and enthusiastic, but one (a lawyer and CPA by trade) was especially caustic. After one loud comment, the referee called over the AR working our side and talked to him for a few minutes, while both of them were pointing in our general direction. The lawyer figured out what was happening, so he turned his chair around so it looked like he was watching the game on the next field east. When the referee eventually came over to our sideline, he selected a different parent and ejected him. That night we all had reasons to buy beers for our ejected friend in the hotel bar.
 
Sentient Being said:
Wildcat and espola, I doubt any ref would stop a game for somebody CALMLY saying those objections during a match..1 time. But we all know that what we are talking about here is the abusive behavior when those comments are made nonstop by a parent standing over the touch line yelling at the top of their lungs in a threatening manner going bezerk!
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I don't doubt it...
Playing in the Slammers tournament a few years back the game was progressing.
Nothing unusual about our sideline banter...
Us parents were talking and laughing about who knows what, when the ref trots by and the sideline was laughing our collective butts off.
The ref apparently didn't appreciate laughter as he proceeded to kick one of our fathers off the field, laughing with to much gusto?
The dad left the field to the parking lot...changed his shirt, put on a straw hat and a pair of sunners, wondered back over & proceeded to watch the game.
The father that was asked to leave was probably the least vocal parent on the sidelines.
 
Lion Eyes said:
I don't doubt it...
Playing in the Slammers tournament a few years back the game was progressing.
Nothing unusual about our sideline banter...
Us parents were talking and laughing about who knows what, when the ref trots by and the sideline was laughing our collective butts off.
The ref apparently didn't appreciate laughter as he proceeded to kick one of our fathers off the field, laughing with to much gusto?
The dad left the field to the parking lot...changed his shirt, put on a straw hat and a pair of sunners, wondered back over & proceeded to watch the game.
The father that was asked to leave was probably the least vocal parent on the sidelines.
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We were in the last bracket game of a weekend tournament in Orange County, and were killing the other undefeated team in our bracket, so it was obvious we would be going to the final that afternoon. After one nasty collision early in the second half, our coach said something in Spanish that I didn't catch. The referee, a young apparently-Hispanic woman, came over to him and said several things that started with "You think I don't speak Spanish?" in English, and the rest in Spanish fast enough that I couldn't follow. After she left, he turned to the parents nearby and said "The last time a woman spoke to me like that, I liked it. Not this time". She heard only the laughter and gave the evil eye.

A short time later a ball went out right in front of our parents, and as both teams lined up for our throwin, she awarded the ball the other way. Our coach turned toward our parents and said (in English) "they can't even get that right". The referee walked up to him and said "I don't want to eject you because you would miss the final. I won't do it if you leave voluntarily." That left me as the replacement coach for the remainder of the game, with the coach phoning parents to pass on his substitution recommendations.
 
jdiaz said:
Their are good refs and refs . Good calls vs bad calls. What I want is a review board for theses refs to have a standard. You have calsouth in Thier golf carts observing the parents but what about the refs. I know refs don't like hear it but come on. Their needs to be system.
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They also watch the refs from those golf carts. The referee coordinator at Manchester Cup, Surf Cup, Blues Cup had two golf carts at their disposal. Most of the time LP was out watching referees and the other cart was used to get refs to fields quickly and drive around and watch the refs.
 
Surfref said:
They also watch the refs from those golf carts. The referee coordinator at Manchester Cup, Surf Cup, Blues Cup had two golf carts at their disposal. Most of the time LP was out watching referees and the other cart was used to get refs to fields quickly and drive around and watch the refs.
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You must be a ref. MC had so.e really bad refs.
 
wildcat66 said:
Perhaps more soothing music, lavender scented mist and calm reasonable lamentation would awaken my understanding right.....
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I am all for listening to some Zep, Santana, John Lee Hooker or Buddy Guy while refereeing with headphones so I don't hear anything. That is how I watch my DD game usually while listening to one of those 4 artists. Just get in the zone.
 
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