What happened to THE Luis Andres thread?

Adults gone crazy over youth sports...yup seems to be getting more popular:
https://www.wsj.com/articles/youth-sports-have-gotten-too-crazy-they-can-be-fixed-11566504162

"Kids are walking away from the action early—the solution may be turning down the volume"

Adults getting too involved or vested on the outcome of games is like a disease or something so seek treatment.
https://changingthegameproject.com/the-race-to-nowhere-in-youth-sports/

Are we too obsessed with youth sports?
https://www.greatschools.org/gk/articles/parents-insane-team-sports/

Relax, enjoy the time with your children, they will find their own level/way. Be the supportive parent for everyone and foster a love of the game and the journey. The win & losses don't matter as much as your attitude does or the journey in most cases.
 
Luis Andres said:
Seriously what do you guys want from me now? I do not have any other accounts on this thread
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I dunno man, I think you got some issues to work out within yourself man. I get it, you want the best for your kid. You want to win. You want your kid to know what it takes to be great. You think your kid is the shiz... So does everybody.

But here’s the deal. Soccer is a team sport. As with any team, there will be stronger players and weaker players. This isn’t cycling - or running... maybe you’re used to cycling where the team trains to help that one star cycler win... I dunno.

Either way, at this age group, kids aren’t getting paid to play. Parents are paying so their kid can play, learn from a coach, and get better, not sit on a bench. Nobody is there to watch YOUR kid play and score goals, seriously, nobody cares and what these parents on this board are trying to tell you is even if your kid is great and scores all these goals - at this age it means nothing. While wins are great, club soccer at this age is to develop kids. This means the whole point is for your kid and everyone else’s to get better from wherever they’re at. The wins don’t matter - at all. In fact, NOT being on the best team and learning the grit required to play through tough losses will do more for your kid than just winning every game. you getting all worked up over losing a game or tournament shows you have no clue.

We’ve had parents like you on our teams and I can describe them to you in one word: TOXIC.

It’s not fun for the parents, the kids, heck, it’s not fun for you or your kid either. And what these parents are trying to tell you is, your attitude towards all this is gonna burn out your kid. Why? Because your focus is on the wins and not the process. In soccer, one player can not dictate if the team wins or not. Your DD may contribute, but she has no control over the end result. Hence, if your definition of success is winning a game/tournament, her key to her success is dependent on everyone else around her and less her own actions. So unless she’s on a team where everyone else plays great - she will not be successful. But in that case, if she’s on that great a team, they can probably win without her and her contributions will be minimal in comparison. In other words, even when she wins, she loses and her sense of accomplishment is misplaced. When you focus so much on the wins, you’re setting your kid and each kid on the team up for failure.

Contrast that to success being that your kid played well, used new skills, learned new moves, being the type of player that helps her teammates play better, not giving up when they’re down, knowing how to pass, be a playmaker, being a leader... that is fully within her control and will help her be that much better player going forward.
 
@Luis Andres

You have a good coach who's putting development first and actually giving the bench minutes. Your team won't be playing 7v7 forever. Developing a bench for that club needs to happen because it's not a popular destination for players.

If you want a sport to be all about your kid try track or join tennis. Sooner you get off your high horse the better for your daughter.
 
Luis Andres said:
Seriously what do you guys want from me now? I do not have any other accounts on this thread
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Mijo, can’t believe all this. You should go on dr Phil.

Humility, teach your DD to be a “team player” and respect your coach. If you don’t like it move on. You have a long way to go.

On the other hand you gave Fact someone to hate on other than the DPL. Muchos gracias!
 
How small the world is....I just got an email blast from the club this guy's kid plays for touting a local review of the club (as I mentioned, we know a few people over there and my kid has done stuff with them). The specific team is mentioned, as is the boys tournament they went to the finals on. The club seems to have regarded it as a tremendous success and not a disappointment at all. They in fact call that particular team "iconic" and an example of what is the "perfect soccer team". The review (in addition to the usual puffing up of the club and its key people, who as I said before really are good people) emphasizes they are looking to develop stellar players, so they can move beyond the club to major academies. I wonder if they've been reading all this stuff and felt it was necessary?
 
Grace T. said:
How small the world is....I just got an email blast from the club this guy's kid plays for touting a local review of the club (as I mentioned, we know a few people over there and my kid has done stuff with them). The specific team is mentioned, as is the boys tournament they went to the finals on. The club seems to have regarded it as a tremendous success and not a disappointment at all. They in fact call that particular team "iconic" and an example of what is the "perfect soccer team". The review (in addition to the usual puffing up of the club and its key people, who as I said before really are good people) emphasizes they are looking to develop stellar players, so they can move beyond the club to major academies. I wonder if they've been reading all this stuff and felt it was necessary?
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Who knows you maybe right. As far as my DD this last game has got to be her worst game ever. She exited the field crying as it was her fault for giving up the goal by making a bad pass out the back. But I’m actually happy it happened. It’s an experience that she will grow from.
 
i always thought these pre-season tournaments were just tune-ups and opportunities to try out different combinations of kids, different configurations, different tactics.

and now I'm hearing a coach intentionally lost a game? come on. it's not about you, sir.
 
OrangeCountyDad said:
i always thought these pre-season tournaments were just tune-ups and opportunities to try out different combinations of kids, different configurations, different tactics.

and now I'm hearing a coach intentionally lost a game? come on. it's not about you, sir.
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I wouldn’t go as far as to say intentionally trying to lose a game but playing a game by starting your bench and mixing up the normal player positions in a critical game where you needed the win to advance to the final. Wether it’s trying to lose a game or experimenting in a pre season tournament or trying to prove a point. Not sure. That’s up to you to interpret.
 
Luis Andres said:
Who knows you maybe right. As far as my DD this last game has got to be her worst game ever. She exited the field crying as it was her fault for giving up the goal by making a bad pass out the back.
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Now imagine how that other kid feels after every game... and you have some other dad trying to figure out what to do about your kid so your kid stops losing games for them. And then the coach decides to finally start your kid, maybe the first time they started to give them confidence and that other dad goes, “man, why is the coach intentionally trying to lose the tournament?!?”

I think the correct term here is, asshat.
 
Luis Andres said:
Started the bench. Put players in different positions that they normally were not used to playing. Maybe he was trying to set an example that he does not care to win but to develop his players
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My DD is starting her first year of ECNL (2007). Played in a relatively weak preseason tournament this past weekend. They would have killed all the 2007 teams, so they played up in the 2006 division. Coach played my kid, and all of her teammates, in 2-3 different positions. Won first game 5-0. Both second and third games up 1-0 at half. Eventually lost both 1-2. No one cares. Why? Because it is an August pre-season tournament and the coach is not winning at all cost. Rather, he is trying to develop the girls and give them looks at different spots on the field.

We don’t need another $3 plastic trophy. We need to know if the outside backs can also play the holding mid spot, we need to know if the right forward can play center forward, etc. My kid got valuable minutes in a position she never plays. But going forward she will better understand the role of the girl who plays that spot and hopefully it will help them link up play when the actual meaningful games start.
 
Luis Andres said:
Started the bench. Put players in different positions that they normally were not used to playing. Maybe he was trying to set an example that he does not care to win but to develop his players
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Not that unusual at that age. It should not be so focused on winning at that age. Develop and encourage them and let them enjoy the game. Every child on the team at that age deserves a chance to develop, grow and yes - start!

As your dd gets older good coaches won’t take you and your dd and she will be relegated to C/D level - the future equivalent of flight 3 at your age group. Think about it......

I remember a particular father at U9 who boisterously asked the coach during a parent meeting before a tournament “are we going to play to win or develop”! The mother was no better, she carved out what she considered to be the “core team” for special events. Their dd was the top scorer at U9 and highly stressed.

4-5-6-7-8-9 years later ...... nowhere to be found, never DA, never ECNL, never DPL, and rumored at some point to be playing c level, nobody really cares. We know several of the players that mother excluded from her “core team” are now playing either DA, ECNL or DPL at 03 or 02/01.
 
JoeZ said:
Not that unusual at that age. It should not be so focused on winning at that age. Develop and encourage them and let them enjoy the game. Every child on the team at that age deserves a chance to develop, grow and yes - start!

As your dd gets older good coaches won’t take you and your dd and she will be relegated to C/D level - the future equivalent of flight 3 at your age group. Think about it......

I remember a particular father at U9 who boisterously asked the coach during a parent meeting before a tournament “are we going to play to win or develop”! The mother was no better, she carved out what she considered to be the “core team” for special events. Their dd was the top scorer at U9 and highly stressed.

4-5-6-7-8-9 years later ...... nowhere to be found, never DA, never ECNL, never DPL, and rumored at some point to be playing c level, nobody really cares. We know several of the players that mother excluded from her “core team” are now playing either DA, ECNL or DPL at 03 or 02/01.
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I saw and watched very similar scenario for years) in regards to a team that was built to win by the coach. If I am correct all but two of those players are playing at a high level (DA and ECNL). And one is playing on US Youth NT at U15. However, her development did not come from the coach.
 
Luis Andres said:
Who knows you maybe right. As far as my DD this last game has got to be her worst game ever. She exited the field crying as it was her fault for giving up the goal by making a bad pass out the back. But I’m actually happy it happened. It’s an experience that she will grow from.
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i wonder how the car ride home was and how many times he showed her the video of the bad pass....
 
USMCie said:
i wonder how the car ride home was and how many times he showed her the video of the bad pass....
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It went fine. I have not showed her any videos either. Just let her be for now. When the time is right we’ll go over film and discuss what her and her teammates can improve on. For now I have to decide with my wife what’s best for her development for the coming months.
 
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