Coach Bullying
- Thread starter Bananacorner
- Start date
So how are things? Tell us
Lambchop
GOLD
This behavior should not be tolerated. Regardless of the sex of the coach or the athlete. In any sport - ever. I, like most of you, have seen the football coach losing his mind on a player (pop warner or collegiate), the arena soccer coach who acts like he is coaching in the world cup, and on and on. WE have to demand better from the coaches. WE have to be willing to step in when the lines are crossed. Yes, life is tough and many a days as a grown up you get your teeth kicked in and have to get up, dust yourself off and keep going, but that isn't an excuse for deplorable behavior. WE need to demand better. On the pitch, in the classroom, in the board room. This isn't acceptable behavior, and WE need to be the ones to make it stop. Not to mention the negative impact on performance. Expect more/demand more.
azsnowrider
SILVER ELITE
Good to know, since it's the DA tryout season with this club. Is this frequent behavior?
That counts as someone looking to get clocked right in the nose!
outside!
DA
If I see someone lays hands on one of my kids like that, they better be looking around for me running across the field and forcing my way in between the player and coach. I will not allow anyone to teach my kids that it is OK to endure physical abuse. There is a good chance I would stick up for my kid's teammates as well.
We are paying customers. If we find our kids are being treated unacceptably, discuss with coach. If nothing changes, discuss with DOC. Leave if need be. Now, some coaches are yellers. Do your homework people. Don’t sign with an asshole regardless of what patches and logos are on the kit. We hold the power.
I’ve had these discussions with coaches and have threatened to pull my kid, but I also know that this continues in HS, college, and higher. Look at mourinho and Shaw.
And yes, if a coach ever laid a hand on my kids, id knock him out. I agree that it’s much more detrimental to have a grown man verbally or mentally abusing our young women/girls because it can have damning effects on their relationships later in life.
Historically verbally abusive coach but will obviously become physical. He has called girls sluts, cunt, tells them they are fucking stupid. He singles out individual kids for his abuse. It is not the entire team but the entire team does witness it. It definitely puts divisiveness among the team. During the game as he trolls the sidelines, he will say out loud things like "did you see that bad touch, she is terrible, that pass was fucking retarded, I don't know why she is on the team", etc.). He is the director of the only DA in Arizona. The same behavior was happening 10+ years ago but he is still around abusing children and adults. Too bad that kid was 18 or DCS would have been called. Parents are scared of the DA Director of course. He has no problem taking it out on his players. One parent lodges a complaint and he will start the psychological abuse. Just ask some of the kids that tried to play or did play high school. He went so far as to call and threaten to call verbally committed DA players’ college coaches as a means to threaten their scholarship. He took captain away from a player because she was “considering” playing high school. It is why nobody complains. I guess it’s parents messed up way to keep their kid safe so they can play at the highest level.
Oh, and you know what is sadder. The younger kids all dream of playing for him. After all, he coached Leroux, Ertz, and Turnbow. It is OK. He does not abuse everyone. Just certain ones.
http://www.phoenixnewtimes.com/news...rship-backed-players-but-at-what-cost-6393255
Bananacorner
SILVER ELITE
My agenda? OK, you got me, you found my out -- my agenda is to bring down the whole DA by spreading a rumor about a DA club who bullied players. Too bad I slipped and said, "has had a lawsuit filed" instead of "is having a lawsuit filed" and now I've been found out. Wow, you are just to sharp for me, and you have now foiled my plan.
How did you find out the lawsuit is going to be filed?
El Clasico
GOLD
Just so I understand you correctly Banancorner, you make a statement about an action taken against a club that is completely made up, about a coach that is nameless, you get caught in your little deceitful web of lies and get called out on it and YOU become indignant? Why are you offended? Shouldn't you be apologizing rather than smirking at the posters who question the accuracy of your statements? Maybe, you could have just been more open and honest upfront.
futboldad1
PREMIER
This is unreal, at least I wish it was. Thanks for sharing. I'll include this quote from the news article to accompany the shocking stuff you added. "Les Armstrong, 45, forged his (a kid's) name to get him off the team." Banned for 5 months and yet here he is, back coaching and getting paid handsomely as girls director. Awful.
Thanks for sharing.
@toucan, @ElClasico and @espola,
In @Bananacorner's defense, he/she did not "accuse" anybody doing things, did not name the offending club or coach and refused to breach the confidentiality to which he/she was entrusted. Which, is fine by me because naming names would simply be gossip if the matter is not in the public record. Clearly he/she made an error is stating a "lawsuit had been filed," and then claiming its not public, but this fact is really irrelevant to the discussion and questions.
If you go back and look at the original post, the understanding that a lawsuit was filed that was citing some article was merely to set up the four questions he/she asked, which were:
- Who determines when a coach goes too far?
- When is a coach "too tough" and when does aggressive coaching cross the line from motivating to destructive?
- And does it differ by kid?
- How is a coach to know where that line is to try and get the most out of their players?
Bottom line is there are plenty of resources out there to help coaches and parents understand where that "line" is.
El Clasico
GOLD
Look Spin Master, coming to her defense is part of the problem. She either intentionally or unintentionally lied, and when called out on it, became indignant. She could have just said "my bad" and went away but she felt the need to come back again and again to feign offense.
Here's a thought, maybe it is her child that was allegedly "bullied" and she wanted to vent about it but the only real question in my mind is this... If, as a parent, any parent, you feel that this behavior has been occurring for a prolonged period of time, why didn't/wouldn't you stand up for your child before it got to this point? Having 4 of my own gone through the process, three in college, one two years away, and all of them having played and enjoyed multiple sports, I have seen a lot of garbage but there is one thing that stands truer than anything else you will hear on these boards. Soccer parents are the biggest P*ssys of all sports parents. And I say that sadly as soccer is the sport of my native country and this is not the case there, nor in any other country where I have lived. Coaches will be tough on kids and that is ok but the parents must be their child's most trustworthy protector and that is not the case here. 99% of these kids playing club will do nothing soccer related after they finish high school but the parents will sell their soul to be on this team or that team or have this coach or that coach. Very sad that these marketing machine clubs sell you on what you are supposed to do and how you are supposed to respond.