Young Parents: Why youth soccer should be your last resort

I guess I missed the news accounts of Roger Goodell being knifed in the back by his wife's college roommate because her kid wasn't playing in the NFL. And, I missed the stories about multiple WNBA coaches sexually harrassing their players. And, I missed the reporting about all the softball and volleyball youth clubs not hiring any female coaches. And, I missed the bribery scandals in F1 racing for race locations. And, I missed the articles about youth baseball national leagues changing from one league format to a different league (DA) to a different league (ECNL) over the course of a few years. And, I missed the reports in youth hockey about how the national federation can't find high quality coaches to coach their youth national teams and scout because they require the coaches to live in Chicago and don't pay sh*t.

Soccer is no worse? Keep your head buried in the sand. There are systemic cultural problems with this sport in the US and it's time to discuss and figure out why.

Just because you haven't seen headlines doesn't mean there aren't the exact same issues in other sports.

All sports have warts and things you have to be willing to turn up your nose at to avoid the stench. Find the one(s) that your kid(s) enjoy (that you can afford) and do your best to stay out of the mud.

While USSF, USYS and USCS are FAR from perfect, I'd take any/all of them any day of the week over the AAU.
 
All sports have issues and they are all driven by dollars and delusional parents. Whatever happened to just signing up for your local AYSO, Little League etc? This worked fine when I grew up. I played 3 sports in HS and baseball in college. This made me a well rounded athlete and person. Too much specialization at an early is not healthy. The cream and talent will always rise to the top. Plus you will save a ton of money and drama.
 
All sports have issues and they are all driven by dollars and delusional parents. Whatever happened to just signing up for your local AYSO, Little League etc? This worked fine when I grew up. I played 3 sports in HS and baseball in college. This made me a well rounded athlete and person. Too much specialization at an early is not healthy. The cream and talent will always rise to the top. Plus you will save a ton of money and drama.
100% agree. I played AYSO, Biddy Basketball at the YMCA, ran track and played Little League. HS was all about hoops and baseball. I also played beach Volleyball, tennis, golf and I surfed when the waves were good (I almost went Pro Surfer). I tried to get my dd to play all the sports but she was all about soccer. She did Track, soccer and volleyball in HS and she loved it. Yes, it knocked her out of the top soccer league. Everything today seems to be about specializing in one sport. The GDA was a full time commitment and had insane travel requirements around the country and you were not allowed to play public HS Soccer or other hs sports unless you went to private hs and got those waivers for the few and mighty.
 
I guess I missed the news accounts of Roger Goodell being knifed in the back by his wife's college roommate because her kid wasn't playing in the NFL. And, I missed the stories about multiple WNBA coaches sexually harrassing their players. And, I missed the reporting about all the softball and volleyball youth clubs not hiring any female coaches. And, I missed the bribery scandals in F1 racing for race locations. And, I missed the articles about youth baseball national leagues changing from one league format to a different league (DA) to a different league (ECNL) over the course of a few years. And, I missed the reports in youth hockey about how the national federation can't find high quality coaches to coach their youth national teams and scout because they require the coaches to live in Chicago and don't pay sh*t.

Soccer is no worse? Keep your head buried in the sand. There are systemic cultural problems with this sport in the US and it's time to discuss and figure out why.

You really are a dumbf**k aren't you? The coach of USA men's soccer is the victim of a ridiculously petty incident that is barely newsworthy, yet less than a month ago the former president of USA Softball was given 14 years for lewd and lascivious with a child under 14. She was 8 when it started btw. Why don't you tell me what's worse?

Again, the only reason you think soccer is so much worse than other youth sports is because you're feeling too sorry for yourself about soccer to have any idea what it going on outside your sad little bubble. Below are a few more scandals involving youth volleyball and softball btw. And if you want to compare scandals between USSF and the NFL, a league where someone almost died two weeks ago, settled a concussion lawsuit for a billion dollars and has about 40 players a year arrested, many of whom in sex and domestic violence scandals that barely result in slaps on the wrist, let's do it.

Former youth volleyball coach is charged with 52 felonies for 'raping at least three young girls' | Daily Mail Online
Powerful youth volleyball coach under fire after sex abuse allegations – New York Daily News (nydailynews.com)
Former Girls' Volleyball Coach Accused of Sex Acts with Teen | San Jose Inside
Elite youth volleyball coach sued over alleged sex abuse of teen in Syracuse - syracuse.com
Sex offender's wife allowed him to coach Santa Cruz youth volleyball (ksbw.com)
St. Joe High Accused of Covering Up Sex Scandal | REAL News Michiana
Coach Rick Butler, already booted from USA Volleyball and AAU following sex abuse allegations, now banned from youth tournament at Disney – New York Daily News (nydailynews.com)
Osceola youth softball coach given 30 years in prison for child molesting (yahoo.com)
Ex-Softball Coach Accused of Sexually Abusing Minor (people.com)
News 4 Investigates: Disturbing video testimony of former St. Louis County softball coaches accused of sexually assaulting player (kmov.com)
Ohio softball coach pleads guilty after sleeping with student, begged student not to tell (fox13news.com)
Former Clear Creek Amana Softball coach charged with sexual abuse of student 15 years ago (kcrg.com)
Ex-USA Softball President John Gouveia accused of sexual assault of child under 14 - UPI.com
 
100% agree. I played AYSO, Biddy Basketball at the YMCA, ran track and played Little League. HS was all about hoops and baseball. I also played beach Volleyball, tennis, golf and I surfed when the waves were good (I almost went Pro Surfer). I tried to get my dd to play all the sports but she was all about soccer. She did Track, soccer and volleyball in HS and she loved it. Yes, it knocked her out of the top soccer league. Everything today seems to be about specializing in one sport. The GDA was a full time commitment and had insane travel requirements around the country and you were not allowed to play public HS Soccer or other hs sports unless you went to private hs and got those waivers for the few and mighty.
I remember the old DA + them not allowing players to play HS soccer. ECNL allowed players to play HS + used it as a selling point.

General fyi GA now is a lot like DA was. Although they no longer say it out loud top GA clubs dont alow players to do HS soccer. What they do is setup out of state events that make playing for a HS team or guesting for an ECNL club very difficult. Many of the same people are involved so the philosophies haven't changed.

I get annoyed because in SoCal if all the clubs played in the same league we'd have the best teams in the nation + everyone would travel to play us because of the year round sunny weather. Instead we're paying big $$$ to play teams that are roughly the same (or more generally worse) as the ones in SoCal. All so those at top of the youth sports pyramid can make their cut from event, flight, hotel fees.
 
I remember the old DA + them not allowing players to play HS soccer. ECNL allowed players to play HS + used it as a selling point.

General fyi GA now is a lot like DA was. Although they no longer say it out loud top GA clubs dont alow players to do HS soccer. What they do is setup out of state events that make playing for a HS team or guesting for an ECNL club very difficult. Many of the same people are involved so the philosophies haven't changed.

I get annoyed because in SoCal if all the clubs played in the same league we'd have the best teams in the nation + everyone would travel to play us because of the year round sunny weather. Instead we're paying big $$$ to play teams that are roughly the same (or more generally worse) as the ones in SoCal. All so those at top of the youth sports pyramid can make their cut from event, flight, hotel fees.
California could have it's own National Team. I agree 100% that "they" should come here to play us. We have it all and we have more of the best players in the country. Weather, fields and players makes California the place to come to test your talent against the Nations Best. I'm telling you this from the horse mouth, the rich dads got their hands on the great game in SoCal and forced all of us to do travel ball to play pay to play soccer. If you complained because they forbid HS Soccer and other sports, plus complain about how expensive the fees are, plus travel around the country all year expense, privates with Doc to secure your play time and all the "other" extras thrown at you during the season like forced fundraising, you were blacklisted and made fun of on the forum. Oh ya, insane per diems for top Doc and his presidential suite in Scottsdale. The Docs had the picks in 2017, ran Training Centers and basically controlled everything. We need regulations and promotions and we need Dad and Mom to step aside and get their hands out of the decision making.
 
Another month, another soccer scandal. All sports have the occasional drama, but why does this sport, especially soccer in the USA, seemingly have 10x the amount of issues as other sports?

Well, it all starts at U6, in the pay-for-play USA club scene. In a sport that has no objective criteria for determining who's better than whom, parents with big egos, white-collar jobs, and the ability to spend countless hours at the fields and up the coaches' arses. The clubs are hyper-focused on $$, branding, and growth, and the good ol' boy network is deeply entrenched with testosterone, favors, winks, and quid pro quos. Nepotism, bribes, blackmale, discrimination, abuse...from FIFA to US Soccer to MLS/NWSL to college campuses to CalSouth to Surf (and other clubs) to AYSO, and all the media/ranking companies that perpetuate the charade. It all drips with filth. It may be the one sector where you find more ugliness than Capitol Hill, with car dealerships running a distant third. And, other youth sports farther down the chain.

Friends know I've had three kids go through the soccer system and achieve their personal goals--college etc--so, no regrets here. But, I'm often asked for advice about getting their little tykes started in soccer. Ten-Fifteen years ago, my answer was different. Now, I tell them, "try every other team and individual sport first, and if your kid hates every other one, then consider soccer. Because the corruption, the cost, the time commitment, the injury risks, the crazy parents, the subjectivity of the sport, and the potential upsides, are worse than any other athletic endeavor." Soccer makes my beloved hockey look like, well, child's play. The beautiful game? Wisdom has me thinking otherwise.

it's obvious you never played soccer
 
it's obvious you never played soccer
I played 8 years of AYSO and loved every minute of it. Saturday morning games, rain or shine. High school I picked hoops over soccer, although the head coach at the time told me I could just come to the games and be a back up to full time GK. No thanks coach. My sons Pony League Team also had a few of the top players on the same Travel Ball Team. A rich dad with a so so player but lot's of cash and toys fit right in. He basically bought the travel team through his sponsoring the team and paying the fees of a few of the poor kids who also happen to be the best players in the area. This dad later became board member.
 
All sports have issues and they are all driven by dollars and delusional parents. Whatever happened to just signing up for your local AYSO, Little League etc? This worked fine when I grew up. I played 3 sports in HS and baseball in college. This made me a well rounded athlete and person. Too much specialization at an early is not healthy. The cream and talent will always rise to the top. Plus you will save a ton of money and drama.

I've written it before. AYSO was a victim of its unwillingness to change. First, because it relied on volunteer coaching, and because soccer knowledge in the US was not deep, it led to an irregular product....you could get a really great coach or you could get a coach that didn't know anything about soccer and had never played even AYSO (I've told the story how my son's first coach had the kids line up in a three point stance on the kickoff). Second, AYSO had a philosophy of everyone plays and no stratification based on skills. It led to the handicapped kid and the future pro playing together. That wasn't good for the future pro because to play striker someone needs to get you the ball. Wasn't good for the handicapped kid either because kids are smart and knew not to pass it to someone who would lose the ball.

A few other things fueled the club machine. One was Title IX as colleges had to make more investments in women's athletic scholarships in order to balance out the men's football scholarships. That led to competition for money on the table. The other thing is as college became more competitive (for a variety of reasons, including increased foreigners, and a drive for everyone to get into college) athletics became a vehicle to get into college which led to specialization (because specialization works...the entire 1000 touches a day thing). Finally, the US made a push for a more professional athletic team especially on the men's side which meant the AYSO education would no longer cut it. Put em all together and perfect storm of specialization. The specialization thing also isn't just limited to sports: dance, equestrian, literature, speech and debate, band, chess all suffering from the same problem.
 
I've written it before. AYSO was a victim of its unwillingness to change. First, because it relied on volunteer coaching, and because soccer knowledge in the US was not deep, it led to an irregular product....you could get a really great coach or you could get a coach that didn't know anything about soccer and had never played even AYSO (I've told the story how my son's first coach had the kids line up in a three point stance on the kickoff). Second, AYSO had a philosophy of everyone plays and no stratification based on skills. It led to the handicapped kid and the future pro playing together. That wasn't good for the future pro because to play striker someone needs to get you the ball. Wasn't good for the handicapped kid either because kids are smart and knew not to pass it to someone who would lose the ball.

A few other things fueled the club machine. One was Title IX as colleges had to make more investments in women's athletic scholarships in order to balance out the men's football scholarships. That led to competition for money on the table. The other thing is as college became more competitive (for a variety of reasons, including increased foreigners, and a drive for everyone to get into college) athletics became a vehicle to get into college which led to specialization (because specialization works...the entire 1000 touches a day thing). Finally, the US made a push for a more professional athletic team especially on the men's side which meant the AYSO education would no longer cut it. Put em all together and perfect storm of specialization. The specialization thing also isn't just limited to sports: dance, equestrian, literature, speech and debate, band, chess all suffering from the same problem.
I love these takes Grace T. We need something way better than AYSO. Each city shall hire a Doc and the Doc will find the coaches to teach the kids basic futbol. The Doc will only hire "Qualified Coaches" or QC. QC is anyone who knows how to coach soccer. You need to be qualified some how. That's the easy part, moo. The Doc will work a budget to pay a stipend to each QC or the QC can do it for free. I say do this through U14.
 

There's a lot to unpack in that article. In the context of the core idea of this thread:

"I think if you talk to coaches and organizational leaders, they will say our biggest issue is parents. I think if you look at youth baseball, youth basketball, it's happening in every sport," said Jason Sacks, president of the Positive Coaching Alliance...

I do find it fascinating that everyone is pointing to this incident as the ultimate evidence of soccer parents being overbearing and entitled. I mean, sh*t, we all know that they're out there and not just in soccer. How many people were jumping up and down about AAU basketball parents when Lavar Ball was having his media hey days?

I think it's more of an indictment of the fact that the USSF men's side has created the ultimate good 'ol boys club in it's leadership, of which the Reynas are members. They had direct connections and immediate access to contact USSF leadership due to their longstanding personal relationships, which they immediately used when they saw Gio wasn't getting time and then went nuclear when Berhalter opened his mouth about things that should have stayed in the locker room. The Reynas had every right to be pissed; all of this could have a HUGE impact on Gio's long term earning power. That being said, they should have left the conversations to Dan Segal (Gio's agent) instead of reaching out directly to their friends at USSF.
 
All sports suck nowadays. Unless your kid has the desire and talent to play in college - It completely fizzles out around 9th grade.
I know a good amount of high school aged players who hung up their cleats, but still had a desire to play. They just didn't want to train 6 days a week, miss out on social activities and wake up at 6am on a weekend to play a game in Norco at 8 am.

More kids at this age should go back to rec/AYSO soccer and just play for the love of the game and some laughs with friends.
 
Which sport has a pro team pay six-figures to move up to make a #1 draft choice for a player who's father is the CEO of a youth sports club that also just happens to receive a substantial amount of $$ from that same pro team for all its practice facilities, and may even have a coach or two in common? I'll give you one guess.
 
And, what youth sport is the only one with a national federation and clubs on the same page requiring or strongly discouraging players to play for their high school teams and coaches?

Yes, that might prevent some injuries. But do you really think that's the primary purpose for the clubs? More important it eliminates the high school coach and season from having any influence on player development and their future. Guess who becomes the only kingmaker, and since kids are specialized in only one sport now, where does all the parent money and influence become focused?

Think about it...high school football coaches still provide a huge role for students and recruits. The top basketball prospects still play high school--boys and girls. High school baseball games draw just as many scouts as club. Even high school volleyball is still a big deal. And, high school lacrosse, track and field, tennis, golf. What makes soccer so special that its kids shouldn't play high school? And, where did that school of thought start? It wasn't a player trend that the clubs and federation just followed along with...it started in the boardrooms. And, when you have clubs with 40 affiliates across the country and a national federation pushing an agenda that is anti-player, we should be asking why...and, not surprised that it causes crazy parents (and coaches) to behave badly.
 
All sports suck nowadays. Unless your kid has the desire and talent to play in college - It completely fizzles out around 9th grade.
I know a good amount of high school aged players who hung up their cleats, but still had a desire to play. They just didn't want to train 6 days a week, miss out on social activities and wake up at 6am on a weekend to play a game in Norco at 8 am.

More kids at this age should go back to rec/AYSO soccer and just play for the love of the game and some laughs with friends.
DD done with the club scene. Tired of the politics, mean girls and all the training. Just gonna play high school and have fun. I am not sad.
 
And, what youth sport is the only one with a national federation and clubs on the same page requiring or strongly discouraging players to play for their high school teams and coaches?

Yes, that might prevent some injuries. But do you really think that's the primary purpose for the clubs? More important it eliminates the high school coach and season from having any influence on player development and their future. Guess who becomes the only kingmaker, and since kids are specialized in only one sport now, where does all the parent money and influence become focused?

Think about it...high school football coaches still provide a huge role for students and recruits. The top basketball prospects still play high school--boys and girls. High school baseball games draw just as many scouts as club. Even high school volleyball is still a big deal. And, high school lacrosse, track and field, tennis, golf. What makes soccer so special that its kids shouldn't play high school? And, where did that school of thought start? It wasn't a player trend that the clubs and federation just followed along with...it started in the boardrooms. And, when you have clubs with 40 affiliates across the country and a national federation pushing an agenda that is anti-player, we should be asking why...and, not surprised that it causes crazy parents (and coaches) to behave badly.
Football + basketball work as HS sports because 90% of the skill required to play at a high level is to be bigger or taller than everyone else. HS works as a free way to introduce the big kids to a sport. If they like it the big kids can continue training.

Soccer and Lacrosse are finesse sports that require high levels of skill that you typically have to start playing at a young age to make it all the way. Also while size is nice in finesse sports it's not a requirement.

Clubs dont want top talent that have been playing a sport since they were 3 to have to face players that picked up the sport last week. This is because those without skill are just as likely to hurt other players as they are themselves.
 
Football + basketball work as HS sports because 90% of the skill required to play at a high level is to be bigger or taller than everyone else. HS works as a free way to introduce the big kids to a sport. If they like it the big kids can continue training.

Soccer and Lacrosse are finesse sports that require high levels of skill that you typically have to start playing at a young age to make it all the way. Also while size is nice in finesse sports it's not a requirement.

Clubs dont want top talent that have been playing a sport since they were 3 to have to face players that picked up the sport last week. This is because those without skill are just as likely to hurt other players as they are themselves.
It seems to me that ECNL recruits size and the vast majority lack skill, finesse, and basic fundamentals. Can you reconcile your skill/finesse assertion with the fact that most college teams play kickball because most of their players don’t have the requisite skillset to play possession soccer?
 
It seems to me that ECNL recruits size and the vast majority lack skill, finesse, and basic fundamentals. Can you reconcile your skill/finesse assertion with the fact that most college teams play kickball because most of their players don’t have the requisite skillset to play possession soccer?
True but at least with soccer skill has a chance over size. Also a posession team with smaller players will usually beat a kickball team. The problem with posession is that it takes a lot of time to develop. Where as with kickball you can be competitive quickly with big and fast players.

Colleges often do kickball because they dont have the time to do posession.
 
And, what youth sport is the only one with a national federation and clubs on the same page requiring or strongly discouraging players to play for their high school teams and coaches?

Yes, that might prevent some injuries. But do you really think that's the primary purpose for the clubs? More important it eliminates the high school coach and season from having any influence on player development and their future. Guess who becomes the only kingmaker, and since kids are specialized in only one sport now, where does all the parent money and influence become focused?

Think about it...high school football coaches still provide a huge role for students and recruits. The top basketball prospects still play high school--boys and girls. High school baseball games draw just as many scouts as club. Even high school volleyball is still a big deal. And, high school lacrosse, track and field, tennis, golf. What makes soccer so special that its kids shouldn't play high school? And, where did that school of thought start? It wasn't a player trend that the clubs and federation just followed along with...it started in the boardrooms. And, when you have clubs with 40 affiliates across the country and a national federation pushing an agenda that is anti-player, we should be asking why...and, not surprised that it causes crazy parents (and coaches) to behave badly.
No federation that I know bands the players from playing HS Sport. I will say after 4 years of watching HS Soccer, it needs a big overhaul. It's dangerous.
True but at least with soccer skill has a chance over size. Also a posession team with smaller players will usually beat a kickball team. The problem with posession is that it takes a lot of time to develop. Where as with kickball you can be competitive quickly with big and fast players.

Colleges often do kickball because they dont have the time to do posession.
I watched a Neatherlands Div 1 team play some really good possession soccer. Tired the opponant out. 1-0 at the half and then 3 goals early second half and then lighys out. Quick collection, quick to pass and go and just quick and fast and move the ball from side to side, back to GK and look for the holes in the middle and then go look for shots on goal. Its beautiful to watch. No injuries either. Kickball/Direct Soccer is easier to teach and if refs let play on and allow rugby stylw hits, folks will get injured and not the best skilled team wins. Great stuff brother :)
 
Back
Top