Young Parents: Why youth soccer should be your last resort

[Primetime]

Another month, another soccer scandal. All sports have the occasional drama, but why does this sport, especially soccer in the USA, seemingly have 10x the amount of issues as other sports?

Well, it all starts at U6, in the pay-for-play USA club scene. In a sport that has no objective criteria for determining who's better than whom, parents with big egos, white-collar jobs, and the ability to spend countless hours at the fields and up the coaches' arses. The clubs are hyper-focused on $$, branding, and growth, and the good ol' boy network is deeply entrenched with testosterone, favors, winks, and quid pro quos. Nepotism, bribes, blackmale, discrimination, abuse...from FIFA to US Soccer to MLS/NWSL to college campuses to CalSouth to Surf (and other clubs) to AYSO, and all the media/ranking companies that perpetuate the charade. It all drips with filth. It may be the one sector where you find more ugliness than Capitol Hill, with car dealerships running a distant third. And, other youth sports farther down the chain.

Friends know I've had three kids go through the soccer system and achieve their personal goals--college etc--so, no regrets here. But, I'm often asked for advice about getting their little tykes started in soccer. Ten-Fifteen years ago, my answer was different. Now, I tell them, "try every other team and individual sport first, and if your kid hates every other one, then consider soccer. Because the corruption, the cost, the time commitment, the injury risks, the crazy parents, the subjectivity of the sport, and the potential upsides, are worse than any other athletic endeavor." Soccer makes my beloved hockey look like, well, child's play. The beautiful game? Wisdom has me thinking otherwise.

Eh. I thought soccer was expensive till my kid started playing Club Volleyball. Turns out soccer was pocket change in comparison. 5x-6x not including travel cost which there way more of. You talk about soccer clubs and leagues being in cahoots lol, VB has the book on it. People on here complain about $12 to park at silverlakes, lmfao. Try $20 parking (with no re-entry) plus $10-$15 venue entrance fees per person with no outside food allowed. Family of 4 is in for about $200+ for the weekend tourney just to stand and watch your DD play in a loud ass crowded gym with no seating. Makes that corner flag beach chair seem like courtside at staples center. I hear complaints about referees, well in volleyball the players from the other team you just played or are about to play are the AR’s so as you can imagine it’s super quality officiating, Smh. Much like other sport forget about playing at a high level without an ultra expensive private trainer (2-3 sessions a week). Double/triple what a private soccer trainer charges. Thought I’d be super smart and have the other kid play Golf, genius way to save money, I know. I traded in a $100 a month soccer coach for a $120 a lesson (twice a week) golf coach. Tack on course fees and equipment and I’m in for about $1500+ a month there. Close to What I was paying the whole year for his Flight 2 soccer team fees. But at least In golf much like running and swimming your success or ability is not subject to someone’s Opinion. The scorecard and clock tell the truth. Forget about the fact that at least to coach in club soccer you have to get some kind of licensing and training courses to get qualified. These other sports literally have zero experience and certification needed. So long story short having seen both sides of a few sports in depth, Yes please give me club soccer all day everyday and twice on Sunday’s.

 

[SurFutbol]

Another month, another soccer scandal. All sports have the occasional drama, but why does this sport, especially soccer in the USA, seemingly have 10x the amount of issues as other sports?

Well, it all starts at U6, in the pay-for-play USA club scene. In a sport that has no objective criteria for determining who's better than whom, parents with big egos, white-collar jobs, and the ability to spend countless hours at the fields and up the coaches' arses. The clubs are hyper-focused on $$, branding, and growth, and the good ol' boy network is deeply entrenched with testosterone, favors, winks, and quid pro quos. Nepotism, bribes, blackmale, discrimination, abuse...from FIFA to US Soccer to MLS/NWSL to college campuses to CalSouth to Surf (and other clubs) to AYSO, and all the media/ranking companies that perpetuate the charade. It all drips with filth. It may be the one sector where you find more ugliness than Capitol Hill, with car dealerships running a distant third. And, other youth sports farther down the chain.

Friends know I've had three kids go through the soccer system and achieve their personal goals--college etc--so, no regrets here. But, I'm often asked for advice about getting their little tykes started in soccer. Ten-Fifteen years ago, my answer was different. Now, I tell them, "try every other team and individual sport first, and if your kid hates every other one, then consider soccer. Because the corruption, the cost, the time commitment, the injury risks, the crazy parents, the subjectivity of the sport, and the potential upsides, are worse than any other athletic endeavor." Soccer makes my beloved hockey look like, well, child's play. The beautiful game? Wisdom has me thinking otherwise.

Wow, the self-pity in you is really off the hook. Soccer is no worse than any other sport, you just think that because you don't have the same involvement in other sports. Youth soccer can be a great experience for anyone who doesn't have parents with a bad attitude.

 

[Dargle]

This is a West Coast bias thread. Lacrosse is just as subjective, more violent, more elitist and entitled parents, more expensive gear, and full of all of the bad behavior you describe in soccer.

For one example, see this article about a parent lawsuit, filed as a RICO case (which is the statute popularly known for being used to take down the mafia and FIFA most recently), over a kid's playing time in lacrosse

The Roots Of A Lacrosse Parent's Infamous Lawsuit Over His Son's Playing Time

VideoDallas attorney William Munck has taken some high-profile public relations hits over a federal lawsuit he filed March 25 against the Dallas Lacrosse Academy and its leaders and coaches. Munck is upset over what he sees as their responsibility for unfairly keeping his son on his high school...

www.forbes.com

 

[SurFutbol]

We all see who the ass kissers are in this sport. It's funny to see some of them wipe it off their nose and act like they got what they earned through hard work only. I can and I should write a book about the "The Art of Ass Kissing in Youth Soccer." Some Docs love it when parents worship their ass. We all saw it with our won eyes. No amount of denial will help those who can't see because their head is up so much ass their blocked from a clear view of what we all see with our eyes. The rich ass kisser is impossible to compete with. Good luck parents.

View attachment 15319

The parents of the children who passed yours by at soccer were not brown-nosers, nor did they bribe anyone. Show some respect for the girls who worked hard, excelled, and deserved the accolades they received. To the extent yours did not receive those accolades, it is because she either did not deserve them or you were such an ass to decision makers that they decided she was not worth the trouble that you cause.

 

[socalkdg]

My kid played baseball, softball, basketball, track, and soccer plus danced (was not good at dance). Pros and cons to all of them. Boys drove her from baseball, the crying girls from softball, head coach in basketball, injuries for track, soccer is what she will play in college.

We as parents need to just pay the bills, drive them where they need to go, and try and get as many different coaches and trainers involved to get honest opinions on if our kids are any good or not. Try different sports, let them play what they want and where they want.

 

[Socal-Soccer-Dad]

Eh. I thought soccer was expensive till my kid started playing Club Volleyball. Turns out soccer was pocket change in comparison. 5x-6x not including travel cost which there way more of.

I was about to say... soccer is the most affordable sport I've put my kids in... I still don't like paying it but I know what I had to pay for my older kids with other sports... and yes some were individual sports with lots of travel so costs are high but it easily ran $10,000+/year and we weren't even in the most expensive of sports.

Soccer runs $4,000/year at the youngers and $5,000/year ish for the olders.

I know some have mentioned golf, tennis, ice skating and those can run $20,000+/year.

And this is a different universe altogether but I know a guy whose daughter does equestrian... and the horse cost $100,000... -_-

One of my buddy's kid is on travel basketball and he says $20 entrance fee every weekend PER PERSON including family to watch the kids game... I stopped complaining (to him) about the $12/car parking fee (which I think it still sucks... but I complain silently now )

All this to say, I think youth sports in general (no matter what sport) is pretty expensive in America. At least soccer has the free fully funded academy option for those at the highest levels... and also scholarships available at at the club level for those in financial need...

 

[Carlsbad7]

I was about to say... soccer is the most affordable sport I've put my kids in... I still don't like paying it but I know what I had to pay for my older kids with other sports... and yes some were individual sports with lots of travel so costs are high but it easily ran $10,000+/year and we weren't even in the most expensive of sports.

Soccer runs $4,000/year at the youngers and $5,000/year ish for the olders.

I know some have mentioned golf, tennis, ice skating and those can run $20,000+/year.

And this is a different universe altogether but I know a guy whose daughter does equestrian... and the horse cost $100,000... -_-

One of my buddy's kid is on travel basketball and he says $20 entrance fee every weekend PER PERSON including family to watch the kids game... I stopped complaining (to him) about the $12/car parking fee (which I think it still sucks... but I complain silently now )

All this to say, I think youth sports in general (no matter what sport) is pretty expensive in America. At least soccer has the free fully funded academy option for those at the highest levels... and also scholarships available at at the club level for those in financial need...

Futsal is typically played indoors + they're starting to charge per person + per day to watch the games. (Probabaly because of the basketball / volleyball overlap reguarding courts) This is on top of the hotel + parking fees that events make $$$ off.

Personally I'd rather events just provide x number of wristbands per player for spectators when teams signup to play. Much less hassle.

 

[aong cangkol]

This is a West Coast bias thread. Lacrosse is just as subjective, more violent, more elitist and entitled parents, more expensive gear, and full of all of the bad behavior you describe in soccer.

For one example, see this article about a parent lawsuit, filed as a RICO case (which is the statute popularly known for being used to take down the mafia and FIFA most recently), over a kid's playing time in lacrosse

The Roots Of A Lacrosse Parent's Infamous Lawsuit Over His Son's Playing Time

VideoDallas attorney William Munck has taken some high-profile public relations hits over a federal lawsuit he filed March 25 against the Dallas Lacrosse Academy and its leaders and coaches. Munck is upset over what he sees as their responsibility for unfairly keeping his son on his high school...

www.forbes.com

Definitely a "soccer parent" bias thread. Soccer is one of the most popular youth sport for a reason. It is easy to start (you cannot play tennis until at least have some lessons) and relatively inexpensive.
I know the frustrated parents are most likely involved in ECNL, MLS Next level, but like others mentioned, other high level team sports are even more expensive and performance is just as subjective (Ice hockey, Lacrosse, Volleyball, even basketball).
Individual sports are not even a comparison. Also it is difficult for kids to have fun in individual practice. Soccer practices are actually fun.

 

[Chalklines]

Another month, another soccer scandal. All sports have the occasional drama, but why does this sport, especially soccer in the USA, seemingly have 10x the amount of issues as other sports?

Well, it all starts at U6, in the pay-for-play USA club scene. In a sport that has no objective criteria for determining who's better than whom, parents with big egos, white-collar jobs, and the ability to spend countless hours at the fields and up the coaches' arses. The clubs are hyper-focused on $$, branding, and growth, and the good ol' boy network is deeply entrenched with testosterone, favors, winks, and quid pro quos. Nepotism, bribes, blackmale, discrimination, abuse...from FIFA to US Soccer to MLS/NWSL to college campuses to CalSouth to Surf (and other clubs) to AYSO, and all the media/ranking companies that perpetuate the charade. It all drips with filth. It may be the one sector where you find more ugliness than Capitol Hill, with car dealerships running a distant third. And, other youth sports farther down the chain.

Friends know I've had three kids go through the soccer system and achieve their personal goals--college etc--so, no regrets here. But, I'm often asked for advice about getting their little tykes started in soccer. Ten-Fifteen years ago, my answer was different. Now, I tell them, "try every other team and individual sport first, and if your kid hates every other one, then consider soccer. Because the corruption, the cost, the time commitment, the injury risks, the crazy parents, the subjectivity of the sport, and the potential upsides, are worse than any other athletic endeavor." Soccer makes my beloved hockey look like, well, child's play. The beautiful game? Wisdom has me thinking otherwise.

Nominated best post of 2023 and we're only 6 days in

 

[oh canada]

Wow, the self-pity in you is really off the hook. Soccer is no worse than any other sport, you just think that because you don't have the same involvement in other sports. Youth soccer can be a great experience for anyone who doesn't have parents with a bad attitude.

I guess I missed the news accounts of Roger Goodell being knifed in the back by his wife's college roommate because her kid wasn't playing in the NFL. And, I missed the stories about multiple WNBA coaches sexually harrassing their players. And, I missed the reporting about all the softball and volleyball youth clubs not hiring any female coaches. And, I missed the bribery scandals in F1 racing for race locations. And, I missed the articles about youth baseball national leagues changing from one league format to a different league (DA) to a different league (ECNL) over the course of a few years. And, I missed the reports in youth hockey about how the national federation can't find high quality coaches to coach their youth national teams and scout because they require the coaches to live in Chicago and don't pay sh*t.

Soccer is no worse? Keep your head buried in the sand. There are systemic cultural problems with this sport in the US and it's time to discuss and figure out why.

 

[oh canada]

This is a West Coast bias thread. Lacrosse is just as subjective, more violent, more elitist and entitled parents, more expensive gear, and full of all of the bad behavior you describe in soccer.

For one example, see this article about a parent lawsuit, filed as a RICO case (which is the statute popularly known for being used to take down the mafia and FIFA most recently), over a kid's playing time in lacrosse

The Roots Of A Lacrosse Parent's Infamous Lawsuit Over His Son's Playing Time

VideoDallas attorney William Munck has taken some high-profile public relations hits over a federal lawsuit he filed March 25 against the Dallas Lacrosse Academy and its leaders and coaches. Munck is upset over what he sees as their responsibility for unfairly keeping his son on his high school...

www.forbes.com

i can see how lacrosse could have a lot of the same subjectivity problems for player evaluation, so concede that point. But, your article is from 2014, and I haven't been reading anything over the past year about lacrosse scandals and controversy as I have about soccer - both mens and womens, pro and youth.

 

[espola]

I guess I missed the news accounts of Roger Goodell being knifed in the back by his wife's college roommate because her kid wasn't playing in the NFL. And, I missed the stories about multiple WNBA coaches sexually harrassing their players. And, I missed the reporting about all the softball and volleyball youth clubs not hiring any female coaches. And, I missed the bribery scandals in F1 racing for race locations. And, I missed the articles about youth baseball national leagues changing from one league format to a different league (DA) to a different league (ECNL) over the course of a few years. And, I missed the reports in youth hockey about how the national federation can't find high quality coaches to coach their youth national teams and scout because they require the coaches to live in Chicago and don't pay sh*t.

Soccer is no worse? Keep your head buried in the sand. There are systemic cultural problems with this sport in the US and it's time to discuss and figure out why.

For a period of time, USSF was headed by a former non-player whose first resume item was as a waterboy at a State ODP camp, and USSF marketing was in the hands of a criminal. I'm not suggesting that that environment caused the failure of DA, but it is worth some thought.

 

[focomoso]

I think baseball is slightly less offensive because it doesn’t have as big of a crazy pay to play structure and little league is slightly less dysfunctional than ayso. The parents though are much worse than soccer parents as famously set out in the bat dad South Park episode.

My son, who has been in the youth soccer grind since U6, did one season of baseball and was like, "Those parents are nuts," and never went back.

 

[focomoso]

This is a West Coast bias thread. Lacrosse is just as subjective, more violent, more elitist and entitled parents, more expensive gear, and full of all of the bad behavior you describe in soccer.

For one example, see this article about a parent lawsuit, filed as a RICO case (which is the statute popularly known for being used to take down the mafia and FIFA most recently), over a kid's playing time in lacrosse

The Roots Of A Lacrosse Parent's Infamous Lawsuit Over His Son's Playing Time

VideoDallas attorney William Munck has taken some high-profile public relations hits over a federal lawsuit he filed March 25 against the Dallas Lacrosse Academy and its leaders and coaches. Munck is upset over what he sees as their responsibility for unfairly keeping his son on his high school...

www.forbes.com

I know parents with kids in West-coast lacrosse and it's pretty bad here too. Maybe not filing RICO cases, but the travel and expense and parent behavior seem far worse than my experiences with soccer. And there are fewer options, so if your local club goes sour, you have to travel even farther.

 

[Socal-Soccer-Dad]

Futsal is typically played indoors + they're starting to charge per person + per day to watch the games. (Probabaly because of the basketball / volleyball overlap reguarding courts) This is on top of the hotel + parking fees that events make $$$ off.

Personally I'd rather events just provide x number of wristbands per player for spectators when teams signup to play. Much less hassle.

This is true... it's like $20/day per person or $50 for the weekend or something. At least they only charged for adults where we went...
Those add up... plus parking and plus stupid stay to play hotels (I can have a whole thread on how much I hate stay to play...)

 

[Carlsbad7]

i can see how lacrosse could have a lot of the same subjectivity problems for player evaluation, so concede that point. But, your article is from 2014, and I haven't been reading anything over the past year about lacrosse scandals and controversy as I have about soccer - both mens and womens, pro and youth.

As a former Lacrosse player who's kid dragged them kicking and screaming into the soccer world I can say without a doubt that Soccer is way worse than LAX for the drama/nonsense.

I think it's because Lacrosse is like hockey + if you get too far out of line theres always some goon looking to put you in check. Soccer doesnt have this type of threat and worse yet rewards actions like flopping.

Without the threat of physically being put in your place for being aweful soccer culture just escalates over time.

 

[Chalklines]

Kids not a foward if they cant score or create scoring opertunitys. Right? Kicking the ball blindly from beyond the 18, not finishing, not passing, constantly missing the frame and constantly being off sides shouldn't need subjective interpretation. Can go on for defenders and keepers for days. Midfielders seem more difficult to gauge but it isn't rocket science.
Maybe the problem has more to do with corruption and parent manipulation with these clubs and coaches. Just too many young coaches looking to make easy buck these days.
After all, why is it always the wealthiest families on a team who control the coaches?

 

[Chalklines]

We all see who the ass kissers are in this sport. It's funny to see some of them wipe it off their nose and act like they got what they earned through hard work only. I can and I should write a book about the "The Art of Ass Kissing in Youth Soccer." Some Docs love it when parents worship their ass. We all saw it with our won eyes. No amount of denial will help those who can't see because their head is up so much ass their blocked from a clear view of what we all see with our eyes. The rich ass kisser is impossible to compete with. Good luck parents.

View attachment 15319

Would buy this book

 

[crush]

Would buy this book

I will give you a signed copy bro.

 

[lafalafa]

Soccer is approachable for most relatively inexpensive if you don't get into the club circuits too young.

Compared to other ball sports such as softball, baseball, basketball, football, volleyball you see more involvement @ the younger ages cuz it's just easier to pay, learn, and have some fun.

What goes wrong? Adults being too competitive basically. Instead of letting youth find their own ways, adults set expectations and just can't let the kids play without constant feedback or commenting.

Exposing youth to a variety of sports or athletic activities and letting them find the ones they like or not is the methods we used on all 3 youths which are now adults.

Travel hockey is crazy let me tell you, youngest has a good friend that's a players and it wasn't hard to spend 15-20k a season when your traveling to Canada for tournaments.

Really it's about the fun factor for youth besides learning life skills. Some have the best fun just playing with friends locally on a fustal or weekend team while other crave those travel tournaments, post season, hunt for championships.

No one size fits all but remember youth is fleeting so let them have some fun and enjoy those times.