Why do kids switch clubs

[Dale Earnhardt Jr Jr]

On our girls ECNL team (one of the top teams in SoCal) 4 out of our 6 defenders were either forwards/midfielders before joining our team. Sometimes when you want to play at a higher level you will need to be flexible with what position you play.

I think the tolerance for this depends on the age of the player AND the league. By the high school age group? Yeah: the kid probably "is what he/she is" and if the kid wants to play at ECNL/MLSN, the kid needs to settle into the position where he/she is put by the coach. Spots are limited and competition for those spots is high. The kid probably can still move throughout the area of the field where they're slotted depending on the formation the team runs (i.e., from CB to LB, from 8 to 10, etc), but I don't see a lot of kids play out of position. But with kids still maturing in middle school and below? I think a parent should definitely consider tempering a kids' ambition to play at ECNL/MLSN if they are miserable playing a position that the kid hates. The OP has a kid in EA, so maybe making a lateral move to another EA or ECRL club, or even considering going to the NPL and below in order to explore more positions with a willing coach is the best idea. Why have a miserable kid playing at a high level?

 

[Bells]

One of my sons is u11. Plays on the top team at his club and they play 2014 EA team this year. Team is very good. He plays defense 95% of the time and plays entire game. But he is miserable. He cant stand playing defense. It’s all he talks about how much he hates it.

The Coach for 3 years now has given him very little chances to play elsewhere (despite repeated promises that he would) and when he does my son does great. But it’s very seldom. We talked to the coach recently and he said this is what I think is best for your child’s development for him to play defense. But I think it’s really best because his team wins. Not for my son’s development.

I don’t know what to do as my other kids that play club soccer have never been in a situation like this.
So many questions….

1. Does he leave and go to tryouts? Or Does he not say he is leaving yet and go to tryouts?
2. Is it worth even trying to go to tryout for another team for him to try to play a different position?
3. If our coach finds out he wants to leave he will be very angry. I can already see it. Will he say bad things about my kid to the other clubs?
4. If a kid is a top player on an A team at a club and plays a lot, what are reasons for why the player would leave? Trying to understand why players leave if they are getting a lot of playing time on a top team. This is a serious question.

Any help or advice is appreciated.

Depends if you are more concerned about being on a top team or development and enjoyment?

I could care less what the coach thinks. I want my kid to have a passion for the game and develop- otherwise why am I wasting money?

I get it- parents want kid to be on the best team and win (bc that somehow translates into being a better player?)- so that is what the club offers. Especially at the younger ages, should be moving kids around- it helps with their soccer IQ , comfort on the ball, and less likely to burn out. If your kid doesnt have a passion for the game- they are never going to be great anyways...so signing them up for trainings, privates, and keeping them on the top team doesn't help in the end- unless the goal is to maybe play college and then quit.

You want your kid to get better - go to futsal, pickup games, etc. (your kid does not get worse by playing kids below their skill level...so let him play wherever he can) and if possible, find a coach that is focused on development.

 

[fatdad]

Haven't read all the posts - but it's perfectly reasonable to be in an environment where your child is happy. If the coach refuses to let your kid explore different positions, just tryout for another team and be clear with the coach at tryouts or after getting an offer what your expectations are for joining the new club. Just know you'll have more leverage when trying out for weaker teams than stronger ones, so you might need to be prepared to settle for a less competitive side.

 

[KingMI]

Depends on the age group they are moving on from. At the younger ages some coaches pigeonhole kids in positions which can be good or bad for the player. When kids get older it's more playing time and or position preference. Since my youngest is required to play all lines just as good as the boys or get dropped from the team. She has development at a much faster rate.

 

[Grace T.]

Fun should only be the most critical factors at this age. Kid is 95% not having fun. Hello, read the OP.

I agree with that. If you aren't having fun and your kid hates it they won't be successful. The OPs question though is how does the coach consider the strongest on the team. There are a bunch of factors at that age but coaches seem to focus on height, speed, legs strength and shot accuracy when determining who to play up top.

 

[crush]

I agree with that. If you aren't having fun and your kid hates it they won't be successful. The OPs question though is how does the coach consider the strongest on the team. There are a bunch of factors at that age but coaches seem to focus on height, speed, legs strength and shot accuracy when determining who to play up top.

100% Grace T

 

[whatithink]

One of my sons is u11. Plays on the top team at his club and they play 2014 EA team this year. Team is very good. He plays defense 95% of the time and plays entire game. But he is miserable. He cant stand playing defense. It’s all he talks about how much he hates it.

The Coach for 3 years now has given him very little chances to play elsewhere (despite repeated promises that he would) and when he does my son does great. But it’s very seldom. We talked to the coach recently and he said this is what I think is best for your child’s development for him to play defense. But I think it’s really best because his team wins. Not for my son’s development.

I don’t know what to do as my other kids that play club soccer have never been in a situation like this.
So many questions….

1. Does he leave and go to tryouts? Or Does he not say he is leaving yet and go to tryouts?
2. Is it worth even trying to go to tryout for another team for him to try to play a different position?
3. If our coach finds out he wants to leave he will be very angry. I can already see it. Will he say bad things about my kid to the other clubs?
4. If a kid is a top player on an A team at a club and plays a lot, what are reasons for why the player would leave? Trying to understand why players leave if they are getting a lot of playing time on a top team. This is a serious question.

Any help or advice is appreciated.

Fwiw, your kid is U11, so playing 9v9? he just finished playing 2 years of 7v7? If he hates it, then you should leave. That said, you should ask the coach what position he sees your kid playing when he gets to 11v11.

One of my kids played CB in 9v9, which was weird because he wasn't the biggest or strongest and didn't want to play there. We spoke to the coach about 11v11 (i.e. what is he developing the kid to play in) and he said that he saw my kid as a MF, probably 6 (CDM) and he wanted him to develop defensively plus he trusted him there as he could play the ball on the ground, read the game and organize the team. As he said, a CB at 9v9 is more like a 6 in 11v11 - field size etc. At 11v11, he has played every position 6-11, but never played as a defender (under multiple coaches club & HS).

 

[crush]

Depends on the age group they are moving on from. At the younger ages some coaches pigeonhole kids in positions which can be good or bad for the player. When kids get older it's more playing time and or position preference. Since my youngest is required to play all lines just as good as the boys or get dropped from the team. She has development at a much faster rate.

My kid had a coach move her to the left wing and he told me and her, "you might not score as many goals, but you will thank me later." You know what, this coach was 100% right. Her left is now as strong or even stronger than her right. Yes, she scored less and that hurt her in recruiting, but not as a player.

 

[KingMI]

My kid had a coach move her to the left wing and he told me and her, "you might not score as many goals, but you will thank me later." You know what, this coach was 100% right. Her left is now as strong or even stronger than her right. Yes, she scored less and that hurt her in recruiting, but not as a player.

Sometimes coaches are right in the end. I know it's hard to change positions especially when they are in the recruiting years.

 

[crush]

Sometimes coaches are right in the end. I know it's hard to change positions especially when they are in the recruiting years.

I think good coaches are usually right. He was spot on but it doesn't take away from a few lies that also came from his mouth. He blamed it all on the club and the Doc. After my investigation, I think coach was in a bad enviroment and actually cared about my kid more than the club. We will come together someday and make amends and do the right thing for all players. Lying to little girls is weak shit where I come from.

 

[Jamisfoes]

Depends if you are more concerned about being on a top team or development and enjoyment?

I could care less what the coach thinks. I want my kid to have a passion for the game and develop- otherwise why am I wasting money?

I get it- parents want kid to be on the best team and win (bc that somehow translates into being a better player?)- so that is what the club offers. Especially at the younger ages, should be moving kids around- it helps with their soccer IQ , comfort on the ball, and less likely to burn out. If your kid doesnt have a passion for the game- they are never going to be great anyways...so signing them up for trainings, privates, and keeping them on the top team doesn't help in the end- unless the goal is to maybe play college and then quit.

You want your kid to get better - go to futsal, pickup games, etc. (your kid does not get worse by playing kids below their skill level...so let him play wherever he can) and if possible, find a coach that is focused on development.

This is our experience also. Parents worry about playing positions in a once a week 60 min game when in reality the majority of the development happens when they play with their peers, in practices, during school recess, and when they dribble the ball around the house.
Kids who play a lot of unsupervised pickup games are usually the ones who knows how to play multiple positions. They don’t need a coach to rotate positions so they can develop. They already know how to play different positions.

 

[crush]

This is our experience also. Parents worry about playing positions in a once a week 60 min game when in reality the majority of the development happens when they play with their peers, in practices, during school recess, and when they dribble the ball around the house.
Kids who play a lot of unsupervised pickup games are usually the ones who knows how to play multiple positions. They don’t need a coach to rotate positions so they can develop. They already know how to play different positions.

Kids worry about positions as well. I played second base and was asked to play catcher for one year. It was fun but I didn't like it. I told coach no more and then he put me back at second base. Let's keep in mind that parents are not playing. This parent is asking, "why do kids switch clubs?"

One reason kids switch clubs is because of a toxic and evil environment. Some kids leave because the coach yells and screams at little girls. I know one parent pulled his child because coach told his daughter to stop crying and asked her, "did you just start your period?" This was a mature 11-year-old and asshole went low blow in front of all the players. I pulled my kid from a coach who fucking lied every time he opened his pie hole.

 

[Rollonyoubears]

The coach’s perspective on this is he needs to win. That means having the best attacking players forward and keeping those parents happy by not invading their kids playing time. That means having the tall kids who are good on defense back. I’d bet $10 your kid is probably somewhat taller and not the strongest on the team, but also someone reliable and not the worst that the coach can trust on defense. Otherwise your kid would relegate to the wings where the weaker kids typically go. My guess is further that your kid plays for a letter league club without access to the highest level (mls next) and clubs like this are under enormous pressure to win so they can keep their squads together and the parents happy.

For what it’s worth I agree. Time to go if you kid isn’t happy. Even though as a defender he’ll have more options for higher level play than on attack, you have to go with what makes him comfortable. My favorite analogy is soccer is like a band: everyone wants to be the lead singer (the strikers) and so the competition there is enormous; up next is the guitarists (the mids) which are also a glory position and require a great deal of technical prowess; the drummers (goalkeepers) are just weird; but the bass guitarists will never have the glory, need to be technical masters, and if they are good they’ll always have work.

Good analogy for real! If the bass player does his job, the band is tight, and nobody really pays much attention. If not, it's a hot mess...just like a defender. As a parent of a first-time (last year) B2016 club player, I already see kids getting pigeonholed into positions or not being offered a position on a team unless they will be a dedicated keeper, etc. My son is a very tall and fast/athletic kid who can put the ball in the back of the net, so he is a key attacking player on his team, but I always tell his coach to play him wherever he needs him. Single position focus at 8/9 years old goes against everything I believe in as a coach of multiple sports. The most value you can add for your son or daughter is to have them able to step in and play anywhere coach needs them to.

 

[crush]

Good analogy for real! If the bass player does his job, the band is tight, and nobody really pays much attention. If not, it's a hot mess...just like a defender. As a parent of a first-time (last year) B2016 club player, I already see kids getting pigeonholed into positions or not being offered a position on a team unless they will be a dedicated keeper, etc. My son is a very tall and fast/athletic kid who can put the ball in the back of the net, so he is a key attacking player on his team, but I always tell his coach to play him wherever he needs him. Single position focus at 8/9 years old goes against everything I believe in as a coach of multiple sports. The most value you can add for your son or daughter is to have them able to step in and play anywhere coach needs them to.

100%. Remember "Rock Band?" I do. My family of four had so much fun. Our band name was, " The Fearsome Foursome." Kids playing youth soccer before their 14 should be having fun and playing different 'instruments', like in Rock Band fun. Imagine my father-in-law (coach) telling my band, "only crush plays the drums." That would suck for crush and the other band members who wanted to try different positions on the team. I knew a really good striker that would tell her coach to put her back on defense towards the end of the game if they needed a "W."

 

[Grace T.]

Good analogy for real! If the bass player does his job, the band is tight, and nobody really pays much attention. If not, it's a hot mess...just like a defender. As a parent of a first-time (last year) B2016 club player, I already see kids getting pigeonholed into positions or not being offered a position on a team unless they will be a dedicated keeper, etc. My son is a very tall and fast/athletic kid who can put the ball in the back of the net, so he is a key attacking player on his team, but I always tell his coach to play him wherever he needs him. Single position focus at 8/9 years old goes against everything I believe in as a coach of multiple sports. The most value you can add for your son or daughter is to have them able to step in and play anywhere coach needs them to.

Oooff...especially at that age you don't want your kid being a dedicated keeper. It will be very hard to develop the feet and situational awareness needed to play the position. Furthermore, the position is really awful for them if the team is anywhere from 1/2-1/2 to terrible because they'll get blamed for the losses and people will be afraid to pass to them, even though at that age really the only thing which should be expected is block the shots right at your and pickup the loose balls.

 

[crush]

Oooff...especially at that age you don't want your kid being a dedicated keeper. It will be very hard to develop the feet and situational awareness needed to play the position. Furthermore, the position is really awful for them if the team is anywhere from 1/2-1/2 to terrible because they'll get blamed for the losses and people will be afraid to pass to them, even though at that age really the only thing which should be expected is block the shots right at your and pickup the loose balls.

I so agree with you Grace. My son was dedicated GK for one year and it was horrible. I think I shared this with you before, but I see we have new guest at the forum, and I think this true story hits home for many GK parents. My son was really good GK but also shy and not the game leader a GK needs to be. He saved some nice shots but also let a few in. Like, he would save the hard ones and then let easy one's slip through his hands, like during OT Golden Goal in playoffs. Poor guy let a little rollie roll through his legs and we lost. Parents looked at me with disguss and shame. The season was over and now it's my fault for not prepping my son about the wet conditions. This was 6th grade and it had a severe impact on his confidence. Other kids blamed him for the loss as well and he had to face the smack talk on the playground the next day. You know what I did? I took him out for ice cream. I told him not to worry about those loser parents and kids that blame you. Sports can be very hard, especially with parents who have no clue of soccer and expect the GK to save every fucking shot. Same thing happens to the striker parents but for sure not as much and not as nasty. Some parents think the striker should make every shot on goal. Granted, GK parent has no break from this abuse and has to arrive to each game praying things go well. 100% if the team loses, it's the GK's fault and their parents. No invite for drinks for you when you lose. When the team wins, all glory goes to the striker parents usually and drinks are free.

 

[Socal-Soccer-Dad]

One of my sons is u11. Plays on the top team at his club and they play 2014 EA team this year. Team is very good. He plays defense 95% of the time and plays entire game. But he is miserable. He cant stand playing defense. It’s all he talks about how much he hates it.

The Coach for 3 years now has given him very little chances to play elsewhere (despite repeated promises that he would) and when he does my son does great. But it’s very seldom. We talked to the coach recently and he said this is what I think is best for your child’s development for him to play defense. But I think it’s really best because his team wins. Not for my son’s development.

I don’t know what to do as my other kids that play club soccer have never been in a situation like this.
So many questions….

1. Does he leave and go to tryouts? Or Does he not say he is leaving yet and go to tryouts?
2. Is it worth even trying to go to tryout for another team for him to try to play a different position?
3. If our coach finds out he wants to leave he will be very angry. I can already see it. Will he say bad things about my kid to the other clubs?
4. If a kid is a top player on an A team at a club and plays a lot, what are reasons for why the player would leave? Trying to understand why players leave if they are getting a lot of playing time on a top team. This is a serious question.

Any help or advice is appreciated.

1. Don't announce you're leaving. Just attend tryouts. Best to just join practices ahead of the large group tryouts but you're running out of time as next week is start of large group tryouts and basically most of the teams are set with new rosters because most of the decent kids looking to move have been practicing with potential new teams all through January and gotten offers by now.
2. If he hates it, go somewhere else. It should be fun. We pay too much money and spend too much time driving our kids around for them to hate it. He should go where he can have fun.
3. He will likely say bad things about your kid to other clubs. Screw him. (hopefully he is of high character and doesn't do that... but I've seen too much... )
4. It's usually playing time + position. I'd say it's 95% of the dissatisfaction. If you're playing where you want to and playing most of the game... unless rest of the team is THAT much worse than your kid, most people just stick it through.

 

[Socal-Soccer-Dad]

Any decent club won't let him practice with them if it's during the season.

Not true. Every club... every team... will let kids practice with their team prior to tryouts...

 

[Lou789]

Earlier you mentioned your son has been put on defense of the same team for the past 3 years?
That means he plays for the same coach/team in 1 position from 8-11 years. That is not acceptable, I cannot believe this goes on for 3 years at the most critical phase in development.
Under 12 years old should be rotated different positions regularly.
It is almost too late, but definitely LEAVE NOW.

Thank you yes we are definitely leaving.

Fwiw, your kid is U11, so playing 9v9? he just finished playing 2 years of 7v7? If he hates it, then you should leave. That said, you should ask the coach what position he sees your kid playing when he gets to 11v11.

One of my kids played CB in 9v9, which was weird because he wasn't the biggest or strongest and didn't want to play there. We spoke to the coach about 11v11 (i.e. what is he developing the kid to play in) and he said that he saw my kid as a MF, probably 6 (CDM) and he wanted him to develop defensively plus he trusted him there as he could play the ball on the ground, read the game and organize the team. As he said, a CB at 9v9 is more like a 6 in 11v11 - field size etc. At 11v11, he has played every position 6-11, but never played as a defender (under multiple coaches club & HS).

I asked the coach what position do you see him playing at 11 v 11. He said CB

 

[Lou789]

1. Don't announce you're leaving. Just attend tryouts. Best to just join practices ahead of the large group tryouts but you're running out of time as next week is start of large group tryouts and basically most of the teams are set with new rosters because most of the decent kids looking to move have been practicing with potential new teams all through January and gotten offers by now.
2. If he hates it, go somewhere else. It should be fun. We pay too much money and spend too much time driving our kids around for them to hate it. He should go where he can have fun.
3. He will likely say bad things about your kid to other clubs. Screw him. (hopefully he is of high character and doesn't do that... but I've seen too much... )
4. It's usually playing time + position. I'd say it's 95% of the dissatisfaction. If you're playing where you want to and playing most of the game... unless rest of the team is THAT much worse than your kid, most people just stick it through.

Do most decent kids that have been attending practices really get offers before tryouts?