That helps us help you and your son Lou. Were here to help you and others like you for free because we care and have been treated like shit in the past. Not all coaches are bad, but you need to be careful. I can say a coach that plays a kid the same position for three years straight in not a good coach. I have empathy unlike some coaches that come on here to mock you. They lurk here to protect their way of making money and hate parents like me. Watch them attack poor crush.
Why do kids switch clubs
- Thread starter Lou789
- Start date
Thanks. It’s pretty obvious reading some of these comments.
the more and more I read how ridiculous it is to keep a kid in same position from age 8-11 makes me realize how much I wish I left sooner.
I have experience Lou. My wife's nephew plays on a very top team in the IE as I write and has been there and done. Had full ride offers in LA MLS teams but wanted to play locally and possibly high school soccer with his peers. Coach wanted him to homeschool, play soccer 24/7 and no real social life. He's really good player but way smarter person. They came to me for advice. Advice is just that, advice. Watch the loser coaches attack me all because I offer free and sound advice.
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Live & learn. Even if he's the #2 defender, that still really good on a top team. When I first came to the forum in 2013, I was chatting with one on my daughters' coaches on here and I didn't even know until later, when he told who his avatar was. Docs and coaches come on here to see what parent is looking to make a move and who is talking shit about their wrong doings.
The coach’s perspective? What perspective can he possibly add and why does it matter? My kid hates playing defense. What does his coach’s perspective have to do with that?
He plays my son in defense 95% of the time for three years. My son asked him SEVERAL times himself can I please play somewhere else. Even during scrimmages that did not count. Or when they are up 5-0 etc. he never got the chance except maybe 5% of the time. If that. Honestly thinking back 5% is even high. It was much much less.
Wow, I really damaged the tranny in you, didn't I? Sorry... no man in a dress is walking in the girls bathroom with my daughter. Get over it. Clearly my political beliefs don't align with yours, but you're the one acting like a dumped girlfriend. Grow the fuck up.
I played soccer until I was 24. Now my kid is playing in college. I've coached numerous teams... boys and girls. I've also been around arrogant coaches with no people skills and loudmouthed parents that never played the game, have no licensing, Frans Hoek certificate or online Barcelona Academy diploma, and think their kid walks on water. I've seen it all.
A parent with an 11-year old ready to quit, because the 3rd year coach has played him in the same spot for 3-years, isn't even remotely close to the obnoxious parent you're referring to. I don't need to hear that coach's perspective because the kid is ready to quit. Is the kid a lousy forward? Maybe. Is the kid a great defender? Maybe. Does the coach trade playing time for development? Maybe. The OP is asking if they should consider another club, which I would fully endorse base on the information given, and you're implying he's the "clueless and overbearing."
Where in SoCal? That's too broad. This entire forum is SoCal based.
Don't list the club you're at but dial it in a bit more so others can recommend specific clubs for you and why.
Stop giving the coach 5% credit. These clowns on here know nothing about being a real coach for young players. I went to college to become a coach and teach and each age has a different style of coaching. 8 and 9 years olds only play on defense is lame. My dd first year of club was 99% right back. Coaches BFF wanted their little Susie up top, although my kid was faster and quicker. That whole season I kept telling my brain what my eyes were seeing and that was, "my kid can beat those defenders and put the ball in the net. We finished the season and got the hell off this team because it was super toxic, and my kid would only play defense. This was small fields, and I think 7 v7. I taught my kid to play were coach plays you. I never once told a coach where to play my child, only where he/she sees my dd playing for him/her. Get them to share their coaching philosophy before you commit to next team. Her best coaches all told me before we committed, she will play multiple spots. That's a good coach. The dumb coach is only trying to win at all costs, and the cost to your son is fun. At his age, it should be fun and he's not getting the most important part why so many love the game. It has to be fun.
If your kid has voiced that they want to play forward to their coach tell them to just do it when they're on the field.
If your coach is going to ignore your kids request to play forward your kid can ignore your their coach's request that they play defense only.
What's the difference? When you leave a good club would ask the coach why you left. Might as well make it 100% clear why it occurred.
I think that's a club/doc specific thing. I told my current club and coach that I was planning to look at other clubs this year, and exactly what I was thinking, and got an pre-tryout invite back to the club anyway (along with several "yes, we totally understand" responses before that). If you have a good club with good coaches, who are actually interested in player development, you should be able to check out other clubs just fine. If not, then your current club or coach is probably toxic, and you probably want to look elsewhere anyway (imho).
Dale Earnhardt Jr Jr
SILVER
1. You've seen enough of the market to know teams where your son might fit in. I'd contact the coaches from those teams and arrange trials. I wouldn't go to open tryouts. I wouldn't mention it to his current coach. Like others pointed out, while there might not be open retaliation against your kid if the coach finds out he's looking elsewhere, it could be more subtle. I've encountered a number of coaches over my kid's years in club who are sick puppies and have no problem playing really awful head games with pre-teens for lesser slights than trying out for other teams. Be careful, but do search for another club ASAP. Your kid being miserable isn't worth it for them or you as a parent.
2. This is a tough one. I am "guilty until proven innocent" with coaches in that I assume they will do what's best for them before they do what's best for each kid. I realize that's a balance, but my opinion is they should focus on that before what's best for them at least before the high school age group years. They'll compromise their word to get a kid who is strong at a position to move and play on their team. They know the "dissatisfied parent from another team" playbook. But...there are a number of good eggs out there. If your son does go to trials by attending practices, you might use your sleuthing skills to talk to the other parents at practice. Parents love to gab. Navigate that carefully, however, since many parents might see your kid as a threat and throw misinformation (if you're starting to pick up on the sickness of all this, then you're getting it).
3. It is unlikely a coach is going to reach out to another coach and smear your kid. And if your kid goes up a league like ECNL or MLSN, the coaches definitely will think he's a loon. But think of it this way: if the fear of the coach smearing your kid keeps your kid on that team in a miserable situation, then that's an insecurity you need to get over. Let the chips fall. You and your kid deserve better.
4. My kid (18, MLSN) has played on 6 clubs in 13 years. That's probably a lot. Kids leave typically because they aren't getting playing time, they've outgrown the club, or they've outgrown the league. My kid left those 6 clubs for each of those reasons, and then one other time because of one very dysfunctional age group at a club where there was no other option even though he really liked the kids. I think, eventually, most kids settle into a club and a level, or they stop playing.
Your kid is still young. Nothing wrong with moving. There is no loyalty in club soccer. IMO, your kid's mental health is the priority with no other consideration coming close. If he's miserable, then bolt. The coach will get over it and, if he doesn't, that's his problem not your problem.
The coach’s perspective on this is he needs to win. That means having the best attacking players forward and keeping those parents happy by not invading their kids playing time. That means having the tall kids who are good on defense back. I’d bet $10 your kid is probably somewhat taller and not the strongest on the team, but also someone reliable and not the worst that the coach can trust on defense. Otherwise your kid would relegate to the wings where the weaker kids typically go. My guess is further that your kid plays for a letter league club without access to the highest level (mls next) and clubs like this are under enormous pressure to win so they can keep their squads together and the parents happy.
For what it’s worth I agree. Time to go if you kid isn’t happy. Even though as a defender he’ll have more options for higher level play than on attack, you have to go with what makes him comfortable. My favorite analogy is soccer is like a band: everyone wants to be the lead singer (the strikers) and so the competition there is enormous; up next is the guitarists (the mids) which are also a glory position and require a great deal of technical prowess; the drummers (goalkeepers) are just weird; but the bass guitarists will never have the glory, need to be technical masters, and if they are good they’ll always have work.
For what it's worth, defenders generally get more playing time because coaches don't like to tinker with a defense that works. When your son get's older, if he stays in the back, he'll continue getting 70-90 minutes per game. That said, he's 11, and he needs to see the field from other angles.
If he hates playing defense, then go to some tryouts and find out what kind of team would take him to play part 30% to 40% offense.
The sport is supposed to be fun. Maybe he’d win more games as 100% CB. So what? If he’s willing to drop a level to play more offense, then that’s an option.
rainbow_unicorn
PREMIER
On our girls ECNL team (one of the top teams in SoCal) 4 out of our 6 defenders were either forwards/midfielders before joining our team. Sometimes when you want to play at a higher level you will need to be flexible with what position you play.
I don’t need club reci
Strongest how? And we have access to MLS next
So they got to play other positions before becoming a defender. That’s great. Perhaps if my son had the same opportunities when he was 8-10 years old, at 11 he would love being a defender.
aong cangkol
SILVER
Earlier you mentioned your son has been put on defense of the same team for the past 3 years?
That means he plays for the same coach/team in 1 position from 8-11 years. That is not acceptable, I cannot believe this goes on for 3 years at the most critical phase in development.
Under 12 years old should be rotated different positions regularly.
It is almost too late, but definitely LEAVE NOW.
There are a bunch of factors such as technical skills and soccer IQ particularly passing. However, at that age the most critical factors tend to be height, speed, leg power and shot accuracy. The most gifted players are generally placed down the spine...striker, mid, center back, and usually (but not always) goalkeeper (at least among the boys). The most gifted players technically are generally placed on the 10 position so they can feed the ball on passes and make play. The fastest players (who can out run defenders) and with the biggest leg (to be able to put it over the GKs head) are put in the striker position. CBs are generally the taller players who can track back well. The weaker players are placed along the edges. Is your kid a CB or a RB/LB? If your coach isn't rotating the players, he doesn't seem to be one of the development first coaches, which means he likely has the kid that can score the most goals up top and is trying to keep that kid's family happy. If your kid is the CB that means he is likely (though YMMV) one of the stronger kids on the team, tall and fast but not the strongest when it comes to scoring goals
Again, if your kid is just done there's not a whole lot you can do about it. By this point, talking to the coach isn't going to do anything about it. But question then...would the same coach be the coach for the MLS Next team when it opens up? Is it one more year after your age group before MLS Next opens up? Are there any other MLS Next clubs in your area? How does your player rate in comparison to others and is that a possible ambition (e.g. would he rather play defender at the highest levels or would he prefer to play attacker but at a lower level)? Because depending on your options, another consideration is burning that bridge if he does want to play MLS Next. But again, if he's done with it (and it's really him not you) then there's not much you can do about it, and in any case it's bad for his development if he doesn't see the whole field at various points.
Fun should only be the most critical factors at this age. Kid is 95% not having fun. Hello, read the OP.