100% agree.There's no blame but you do reap what you sow. If a coach picks up players just to weaken another team, then they deserve to lose players to the transfer portal.
They're not looking for players to win, they're looking for players to sit on their bench to sabotage other schools.
Some of the prominent programs do not help develop players to the pro level and top players will want to leave for NWSL. As more players do this, college programs that want to retain these good players to win will improve their development program too.
How is a team suppose to develop together when 2/3 of the team doesn't play at all? It's not happening at a lot of college programs right now, that's why so many complain about college being a bad place to develop and the jump to NWSL is better.
Less players will be in the transfer portal if player expectations are met.
However it's even worse than what you've described. Many top college coaches don't even try to develop players. They pull the best they can find from youth clubs, foreign acadamies, and the transfer portal. If you're hurt or not working out for whatever reason coaches will try to get you to quit or leave because they can use your scholarship on someone else.
A couple of months ago I watched a couple of southeast D1 women's college teams play on ESPN. It was some kind of finals but the soccer being played was TERRIBLE. There was no team chemistry on either team, complete bootball, and they subbed multiple players every 2 minutes.