This and
@Simisoccerfan's post to which you are responding are incredibly important to parents experiencing this journey with their kids. If kids are being recruited, they are excellent players and may even be among the best on a very good, even elite, team. But the grind of college athletics is something that hits like a ton of bricks and the reality of playing time is like a trough of ice water following those bricks. If you go back through those elite teams from GDA or ECNL and look at those players now as college juniors and seniors and what you are going to see is that while some noteworthy ones have played from the first minute, others have not. Talk to them about playing in youth final fours and being early commits (those were the days of unofficials at any age and middle school or HS frosh players with verbals) and look at how many have played a meaningful number of minutes through their soph or junior years and how many have great relationships with their college coaches.
My daughter's team played solid games against some of those elite SoCal teams (never losing to Surf from the first U12 EGSL event she played in against them (down in San Juan Capistrano - I'm guessing some of the other old timers may have been there), battling against Blues (a noteworthy blow out loss but some really good games as well)) and were recognized by other teams and scouts for the soccer they played. They had a lot of D1 commits (11 or 12, I think, and a couple D2 and D3) but, as they enter their junior years, it's a small handful who have played a lot of minutes. Some aren't playing, several have transferred from their first schools. Hey, it's not uncommon to not play a lot as frosh and sophs (maybe even the norm) but going from a 90 minute player on an elite team to a handful of mins, the occasional start, some games w/o leaving the bench . . . that can be really hard. Especially when you are dealing with school, demanding coaches ("yeah, yeah. Coaches are demanding. Do you really think our kids don't know that?" Yes. I really think they don't have a full grasp of what that means at the college level unless they have a sibling or very, very, close friend who can be fully honest about it), some profs who are understanding and some who couldn't give a single sh*t thinking about your kid's travel commitments, lack of time for studying or just pure exhaustion. Mix in, for these young women and men, covid and injury and a wave of tragedies (not sure if any more but we certainly hear about them a lot more) . . .
I am not one to say, "Make sure they love the school first because the sport may disappear" because I'm of the belief that, for many, a huge part of this big time decision is made because of the sport, the team, the athletic department - that is the group you will be spending most of your time around (their teammates but also other athletes) as they integrate into the campus and they may have made a totally different decision but for the sport. The player should consider whether she or he will be happy as a student but if it weren't for soccer, maybe a totally different campus would make more sense. I want the kids to talk to athletes at the school but, during recruiting, it is really tough to get honest answers (part of human nature) so the discussion, in a sense, needs to be even broader than the specific school. It is to talk with and listen to - REALLY listen to - college soccer players about how hard it can be. Maybe the HS recruit does not want to hear it - I get that - or can't really put herself or himself in that other person's shoes - I get that, too. But when you think of the "grind" that
@Mystery Train mentions, even if your kid can't identify until experiencing it, all of you as parents should listen carefully and be ready. Because whether your kid steps on the pitch and plays full 90s or does not see the field for meaningful minutes in important games, the grind is real. The pieces you pick up are certain to be there. Your pride and excitement can get in the way of what your kid is going through (I'm 100% guilty of that). Talk to some of the old timers for candid takes on what their amazing children have gone through. I'd predict that, on balance, the take away is positive but I'd suspect it is non-linear, full of highs and lows, and they are both sad when it ends but also grateful their kids have come through it OK.
Stepping off the soap box and putting it away.
I found out after 30 days I made a huge mistake and I got on my knees and begged God to help me get out of hell. The next day I got a call from my old boss begging me to come back. He took me to a very nice place for more Steaks ((great guy and no invite for lap dance)) and made me an offer I couldn't refuse and I went back to the Yellow Pages until Google came and tricked our Execs to hand over our customer data base. That decision alone caused the YP to go OB!
