Presidio/SDDA League new spectator rule should shut up crazy parents

This is the best thing to happen in a long time.....I saw this as a parent. You can tell the difference between last year and this year.
 
I had a game today with an AYSO Matrix team. Two weekends in a row the only sidelines that yelled at me or my ARs were AYSO Matrix coaches and spectators. Message to Matrix parents...your team is no longer a rec team and club games are more physical, so just shut up and cheer for your players. It seemed like every time there was contact between players or a Matrix player fell down the crazy parents were yelling for a foul or yellow card. And, don’t get me started on the dad coaches.
 
MWN said:
I will share my daughters experience. My daughter is now 19, college sophomore and referee'd for about 5 years, until she quit. This weekend while watching her brother (2003) play she commented that she might go back and referee, but probably won't because she doesn't need the abuse. I asked her what kind of abuse, her comment was "Dad, I don't mind the stupid parents yelling because they don't understand the laws, but the dumb coaches that don't know certain laws have changed is really frustrating. Last year, at Surf Cup she had multiple coaches insult her because she held down her flag when a player was offside, waiting for the player to "become actively involved in the play." She would properly wait for active involvement and then raise the flag, which caused the coaches to complain that she didn't know what she was doing because these coaches hadn't taken the time to update themselves on laws/rules that changed years ago. Her biggest pet peeve however were the Dads who made rude remarks and leered at her while she was doing her job on the sideline.

My son (2003) who has also stopped refereeing was called into a higher level game (2001's) because of a shortage a few years ago. The center referee was one of the better referees in the Association and believed my son could do it. I drove him to the park (at the time he was 14 and these kids were 16), and stood behind the parents of the same club he played for at the time. Watching him and the game because again these were older from the same club he played for. At some point, a close call occured where a player was either even or "offside" and he didn't raise his flag. The player scored against his home club. Well the parents for this club were not happy because from their poor angle it was offside and admittedly the attacker had his arm outstretched pointing where he wanted the ball played. One dad started yelling and complaining, and yelled down at my 14 year old "Hey, AR, learn the rules. He was offside if ANY PART OF HIS BODY is across the line. ANY PART ... [blah, blah, blah]." This A-Hole then caused a few more dads to start in and there was a chorus of "Ya AR, any part ... you cost us a goal." I walked down to the touchline and stood behind him and asked "Do you think they are right?" He said, "I don't think so, but now I don't know." I reinforced the correct rule, which he got right ... "Offside must be parts of the body that can play the ball." Told him "Don't listen to the parents they are dumbasses." I then turned around and in my biggest and loudest from the chest voice said: "Hawks parents! Hawks parents! [Looking directly at the instigator Dad] I have 2 things to say: 1: Offside IS NOT ANY PART OF THE BODY hands and arms don't count, so your parent is wrong [pointing to the idiot]. 2: DO NOT ADDRESS or abuse the sideline referee anymore, its against the SCDSL rules and I will not tolerate it." I then went over to the idiot instigator and stood right behind him (10 feet away), watching him on his phone trying to look up the rule. I even told him to "Search for IFAB Law 11 for the rule." In the ensuing minutes after, I dealt with a few parents that wanted me to leave, I refused; some apologized for their bad behavior, some apologized for the Dads telling me they are always like this, and one or two were generally taken aback that an adult had the balls to call them out on their bad behavior and thought my presence would escallate things further. The boy quit refereeing about 6 months later, telling me he didn't want to do it anymore because he just didn't need to hear the stupid parents.

So what we have now are parents and coaches that drive out of the game our younger referees that are not as emotionally jaded as us older folks, leaving younger and younger kids to pick up the voids.

I have no f'ing sympathy for you or your kids and the hours of practice and privates and whatever you go through for your little one. None whatsoever. While you may be able to keep your mouth shut, your job is also to tell your wayward dumbass parents to keep their mouths shut. You don't like the skill level of the referees ... too young ... too slow ... too whatever? Stand up, look around at your sideline and you will find your answer. Its because of the parents that abuse the referees AND the fact that the other parents lack the fortitude to stop it and shut down the idiots on your sideline. YOU PARENTS and your dumbass coaches are why we are forced to throw inexperienced kids into the game.

Finally, how these inexperienced kids get experience is working the youngers, 9v9 games as a sideline referee with older centers.
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Sounds like you are part of the problem
 
Toch said:
Suspending the whole sideline for a game is great. Holding them accountable for monitoring themselves. Many times there’s the one parent that acts up and the others just encourage the behavior. Many coaches lack the balls to shut their own parents up for fear of them getting their kid and leaving.
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i wonder if the players would be happier with or without their fans sometimes
 
Surfref said:
I had a game today with an AYSO Matrix team. Two weekends in a row the only sidelines that yelled at me or my ARs were AYSO Matrix coaches and spectators. Message to Matrix parents...your team is no longer a rec team and club games are more physical, so just shut up and cheer for your players. It seemed like every time there was contact between players or a Matrix player fell down the crazy parents were yelling for a foul or yellow card. And, don’t get me started on the dad coaches.
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Was this a Southbay Matrix team? 3 coaches on the bench. Parents sitting along the entire sideline screaming all game.
 
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I run one of the local rec leagues for our club and one of my favorite stories has to deal with the very thing surfref is talking about. It seems in rec that parents want a foul every time there is contact. One day one of my refs decided to prove a point as we had an age group that was especially vocal about fouling, etc. As soon as the game started, every time two girls made contact, he called a foul. He had told me ahead of time he was going to do it so I stood in the corner to watch. It was honestly the most hilarious 10 minutes I had ever seen. The poor parents, who seemed to come to the game ready to go crazy, had no idea what to say or do. Finally, one of our long time coaches that was coaching one of the teams started smiling as he knew exactly what was happening. He turned around to his parents and said "you want this or you want to let them play?" The ref then decided to call the game like normal and all was good. We didn't have a single complaint in the age group the rest of the season and that story still circulates as a lot of the families are still involved. Sometimes drastic measures have to be taken sadly to make a point about behavior on the sideline.
 
timbuck said:
Was this a Southbay Matrix team? 3 coaches on the bench. Parents sitting along the entire sideline screaming all game.
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Dang, you must have mad Jedi Force skills. This past weekend was a Southbay team. The yelling did not last long still nice I put a quick stop to it. The coach was helpful and had already yelled at the parents twice to be quiet. I finally had to tell the parents to stop the yelling and the coach backed me up by saying that he would throw out the next parent that yelled. I actually had more problems with the Matrix team from north county the prior weekend. Once again the coach was helpful and unlike the manager that wanted to complain to me after the game. I politely and professionally ignored her and walked away to check in the teams for the next game. I am sure during her ride home she bitched about the refs, blamed the loss on the refs, and called me an a-hole.
 
Surfref said:
Dang, you must have mad Jedi Force skills. This past weekend was a Southbay team. The yelling did not last long still nice I put a quick stop to it. The coach was helpful and had already yelled at the parents twice to be quiet. I finally had to tell the parents to stop the yelling and the coach backed me up by saying that he would throw out the next parent that yelled. I actually had more problems with the Matrix team from north county the prior weekend. Once again the coach was helpful and unlike the manager that wanted to complain to me after the game. I politely and professionally ignored her and walked away to check in the teams for the next game. I am sure during her ride home she bitched about the refs, blamed the loss on the refs, and called me an a-hole.
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you are an a-hole. no wait, that's me. My bad.....
 
Surfref said:
I had a game today with an AYSO Matrix team. Two weekends in a row the only sidelines that yelled at me or my ARs were AYSO Matrix coaches and spectators. Message to Matrix parents...your team is no longer a rec team and club games are more physical, so just shut up and cheer for your players. It seemed like every time there was contact between players or a Matrix player fell down the crazy parents were yelling for a foul or yellow card. And, don’t get me started on the dad coaches.
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AYSO parents (not so much the players) experience a culture shock moving from the warm protective blanket of AYSO to Cal South club soccer. I once watched an entire sideline of AYSO Matrix parents going ballistic because their player went down to the ground with a leg injury (knee or ankle ... not head) in mid field. The Center allowed play to continue (advantage) while the player writhed on the ground holder her knee. Aside from the more comical shout outs "EVERYBODY TAKE A KNEE!!!!" from a few parents, there were a chorus of parents shouting to "REF, STOP PLAY, STOP PLAY!!!" The Center stopped play when the ball went out and dealt with the injured player. The sideline was apoplectic that the Ref did not stop play immediately and had such callous disregard for the injury to their player.
 
MWN said:
AYSO parents (not so much the players) experience a culture shock moving from the warm protective blanket of AYSO to Cal South club soccer. I once watched an entire sideline of AYSO Matrix parents going ballistic because their player went down to the ground with a leg injury (knee or ankle ... not head) in mid field. The Center allowed play to continue (advantage) while the player writhed on the ground holder her knee. Aside from the more comical shout outs "EVERYBODY TAKE A KNEE!!!!" from a few parents, there were a chorus of parents shouting to "REF, STOP PLAY, STOP PLAY!!!" The Center stopped play when the ball went out and dealt with the injured player. The sideline was apoplectic that the Ref did not stop play immediately and had such callous disregard for the injury to their player.
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I’ve seen plenty of non AYSO sidelines do this.
 
MWN said:
AYSO parents (not so much the players) experience a culture shock moving from the warm protective blanket of AYSO to Cal South club soccer.
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The AYSO players experience the culture shock too...they just adapt to it quicker since they are younger and more flexible, and also since they are in the middle of it (when the lightbulb goes off and they discover they can be physical too is especially fun to watch). My son's United team, which ultimately won their bracket, struggled at first during the summer tournaments and the coaches even had to hold sessions regarding body checks. AYSO's referee training puts a lot more emphasis on making sure the kids are safe and having fun (in that order) which is in part where the mentality comes from...another is the level of competition they've been exposed to (even in All Stars and Extras). Finally, because of a lot of AYSO teams are made up of strikers because of the exams they have in place to select the teams, AYSO teams have a tendency to play a run and shoot game (YMMV)...against teams that seek to break up that fast play by grinding them down, they can get frustrated.

But as to the parents, since most kids starts in AYSO anyways, the same is pretty much true for any first year parents (except for those maybe coming out of Latino leagues).
 
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