If so many coaches, parents and people involved with youth soccer weren’t absolutely, utterly fixated beyond belief with winning, we wouldn’t have to talk about development.
Winning and losing is part of the game and celebrating or being disappointed is fine too; nobody would argue that our kids need to learn that.
The state of youth soccer and the standard of players the US is producing at the top level would suggest to me (and most others who have a modicum of understanding of the game and athlete development) that we don’t have the approach right here, yet. The large number of ignorant, crazy people involved in youth soccer who think winning is the priority are a big part of that. So we have to change, that’s obvious.
At older ages, I agree with you that winning becomes more important but we’re only talking High School onwards IMO (even then it’s not purely about winning, there is still a lot of developing to do!) Anything before that should be purely development. Nobody gives a shit about who won the ocean surf cowboy cup as a 12 year old but we have swathes of teams, coaches and parents so fixated on winning that they encourage kids to smash the ball from end to end then celebrate being the ‘best’. It’s not a minor issue here; it’s a massive problem at all levels of youth soccer, regardless of the flight or standard. So forgive me for mentioning the word development again.
You say tournaments are not the place for development? In youth soccer, every game is the place for development; that’s why you and I likely do not see youth soccer in the same way and that’s ok. I’m genuinely interested to know though if you are a coach, parent, club official? What is your involvement with soccer?