Parents from certain teams

outside! said:
At tryouts one year there was a rope setup to keep parents near the clubhouse and away from the fields. Some youngers were trying out about 50 yards from the rope. A mom and dad were right at the rope, leaning over shouting instructions. I tried to gently let them know that they were sabotaging their kid's tryout, but they would not take the hint.
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Ha! Lean on the rope. I often saw parents step over the rope and stand right next to the coach while barking orders during tryouts. This was from the smallest clubs to the largest. But honestly I don't care if a parent embarrassed their own kid, I and bothered when they say things or order around other kids.
 
If you want to hear crazy ass comments, just sit in the stands with the parents at a college ID camp. They coach from the stands, brag about how great their kid is and bad mouth other kids. They are clueless as to which parent belongs to which kid they are badmouthing.

During the summer between my daughter’s HS junior and Senior year we went to an ID camp in Georgia near Savannah that was mostly attended by NAIA coaches, but two of the D1/D2 coaches that were recruiting her were there. I was sitting in the top row of the bleachers with all of the other parents in front of me and the mom of one of the keepers right in front of me. For an hour I sat and quietly listened to her cheering and yelling advice to her keeper daughter and loudly saying how great her daughter was and all her accomplishments. My daughter was on fire that day and I later found out that she was pissed because some of the girls gave her crap because she was from California. Her scrimmage team rotated into a game against the loudmouth mom’s keeper daughter. My DD scored three goals, including a sweet header and bicycle kick goal, within the first 10 minutes. The keeper’s mom announced that she had heard that the redhead (my DD) played for a California ECNL team (wrong it was CSL), ODP (wrong), and was a high school all-state player (wrong), and that was why her daughter was unable to stop any of those goals. It saw hot and humid and I had heard enough of the mom’s BS. I informed her that the redhead was my daughter and she did not play ECNL, ODP or HS soccer and that she was just a slightly above average Southern California player. The keeper’s mom just said, “oh” and everyone stopped the bragging and coaching and were quiet for the remainder of the afternoon. As we were walking to the car I told my daughter what I did and she gave me a high-five and said, “That keeper sucked.” The next day I brought my earbuds and listened to music.
 
Fact said:
Ha! Lean on the rope. I often saw parents step over the rope and stand right next to the coach while barking orders during tryouts. This was from the smallest clubs to the largest. But honestly I don't care if a parent embarrassed their own kid, I and bothered when they say things or order around other kids.
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Oh yes, had a father on a team once who stood next to other parents and then every time their player touched the ball (he almost always picked on the offensive players since his daughter primarily played defense but he wanted her to play offense) -- "why didn't your daughter shoot? " or "why did she pass, she only had one player to dribble around and she was to goal?" or "Oh, she should've taken it up the wing, it was wide open!" or he would just bark instructions loudly to the girl. Drove the parents crazy. He never shouted at or made comments about his own kid, even on the occasion she played offense.

He stopped doing it to me because on one occasion he said to me, "your daughter really needs to release the ball sooner, she plays with it too much and takes too long in the middle blah blah blah." So I said, "yeah, your daughter is really fast and can dribble down the wing really well, but why does she then softly pass it to the goalie every time instead of shooting or centering it to a team mate?" He mumbled something about her not having enough experience at wing and the quickly left to go bother someone else, and I never heard his bs again.
 
I attended a tryout this year, and was blown away at this particular dad, he was so in his kids business, it was crazy........I am convinced the club turn a blind eye to the kid just because of the father. He would basically run on the field and show the boy how to kick and coach him right on the spot.
I mean I get dance moms right, but why is it that theres so many idiots on the sidelines now.
Im starting to hear about the fights at Silverlakes, I wouldnt blame booze, its just poor sportsmanship.....
 
timbuck said:
I filled in for my daughters 07 practice a few weeks ago. End of practice scrimmage. I subbed a girl off. Her mom walked up to her and started yelling at her for not playing hard enough. Not my team, so I didn't feel right telling the mom to chill.
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All parents need to play a full game at Silverlakes during the summer and kids get to scream at their parents midway through the 2nd half about why they're not playing hard enough.
 
The really young players don’t play the game for a college scholarship, they play the game for fun. I had a great experience after my last game (6 games) today. I had the losing team come up to me and tell me I was the “greatestest referee in the world” and they all high fived me then the winning team came over and told me “ I did really good” and gave me a high five. These were 7-8 year old girls that just had fun playing soccer and didn’t really care who won or lost. Much different than the 4 intense high level 16 year old girl’s games in the morning.

All of the parents except one were well behaved and the CR threw him out. His 16 year old daughter yelled at him, “Dad I told you not to say anything. Thanks for embarrassing me.” Good day of soccer today. Not one yellow or red card was issued in any of the 6 games. Good clean play.
 
I agree most of what’s said here but I have no problem with parents yelling at their kids to hustle or play harder, because I’m pretty sure before the game that parent was yelling at the kid to get off fortnite and get to bed early, or get in a training session and get in shape instead of fortnite all the time.
 
JJP said:
I agree most of what’s said here but I have no problem with parents yelling at their kids to hustle or play harder, because I’m pretty sure before the game that parent was yelling at the kid to get off fortnite and get to bed early, or get in a training session and get in shape instead of fortnite all the time.
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Wrong, that's part of the problem. If you put your kid on a team, you should trust the coach and let them coach. When they are at home, or otherwise away from the coach, you can ban phones and fortnite.
 
coachrefparent said:
Wrong, that's part of the problem. If you put your kid on a team, you should trust the coach and let them coach. When they are at home, or otherwise away from the coach, you can ban phones and fortnite.
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Nah, gonna have to disagree. When he’s playing lethargic, I’m gonna say, “Come on, pick it up.” If somebody has a problem with me saying that, they can kiss my ass.

Enough with this groupthink BS already. I don’t really care what people say. Plenty of people have gotten pissed at my boy for running kids over cleanly. Plenty of people have cursed him out for popping kids and stripping them of the ball. Unless they start throwing punches at me or him, I don’t give a shit what they say.

There are way too many thin-skinned and deluded people of all types—players, parents, coaches, refs. There are so many shitty coaches, their players have no technique, no idea how to keep their shape or when to break shape, no idea when to press or when to play positionally. I can’t sit here and blast a dad who knows the game for telling his son what to do when the kid is confused and the coach is sub AYSO level. What I’ve seen is, when a coach is really good, and is vocal about coaching the team, parents shut up. When the coach sits there doing nothing while his team falls apart, parents start yelling. And of course you have the crazy parents.

And there are so many shitty refs out there, they get so pissed off when people point out their blown calls, they rant and rave about crazy parents always arguing with them. Yea, certainly it could be the crazy parents, but it seems to me that there are certain refs, they are always blowing calls, getting mad when called on it, and those refs give out punishment calls to get revenge against the parents who pissed them off, causing a further round of escalations. At the end of the day, you have to respect the refs decision no matter how bad it was, but am I gonna just blast the parents and put shit refs on a pedestal? To hell with that. I have no sympathy for shitty refs getting their feelings hurt because they’re getting yelled at by pissed off parents.

Everyone in this game needs to just a develop a thicker skin and better understanding of the rules of this game and how it’s played. But that will never happen. So I’m gonna do whatever I want using my best judgment, and completely ignore all the idiots out there, which has worked great for me so far.
 
coachrefparent said:
When they are at home, or otherwise away from the coach, you can ban phones and fortnite.
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Dude, do u even have kids? The kids get a lot of their homework online and turn in homework on google docs or sheets. If u take away their phone and/or computer they can’t do their homework.

I suppose I could sit in his room every night and then make sure he gets all his homework done and then take away his phone and computer, but I just think that’s too intrusive, and tbh I have better things to do. Is that ok with u?
 
Surfref said:
If you want to hear crazy ass comments, just sit in the stands with the parents at a college ID camp. They coach from the stands, brag about how great their kid is and bad mouth other kids. They are clueless as to which parent belongs to which kid they are badmouthing.

During the summer between my daughter’s HS junior and Senior year we went to an ID camp in Georgia near Savannah that was mostly attended by NAIA coaches, but two of the D1/D2 coaches that were recruiting her were there. I was sitting in the top row of the bleachers with all of the other parents in front of me and the mom of one of the keepers right in front of me. For an hour I sat and quietly listened to her cheering and yelling advice to her keeper daughter and loudly saying how great her daughter was and all her accomplishments. My daughter was on fire that day and I later found out that she was pissed because some of the girls gave her crap because she was from California. Her scrimmage team rotated into a game against the loudmouth mom’s keeper daughter. My DD scored three goals, including a sweet header and bicycle kick goal, within the first 10 minutes. The keeper’s mom announced that she had heard that the redhead (my DD) played for a California ECNL team (wrong it was CSL), ODP (wrong), and was a high school all-state player (wrong), and that was why her daughter was unable to stop any of those goals. It saw hot and humid and I had heard enough of the mom’s BS. I informed her that the redhead was my daughter and she did not play ECNL, ODP or HS soccer and that she was just a slightly above average Southern California player. The keeper’s mom just said, “oh” and everyone stopped the bragging and coaching and were quiet for the remainder of the afternoon. As we were walking to the car I told my daughter what I did and she gave me a high-five and said, “That keeper sucked.” The next day I brought my earbuds and listened to music.
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Just want to say that this post is over generalization to say that "If you want to hear crazy ass comments, just sit in the stands with the parents at a college ID camp."

I'm sure what Surfref said happened, it did. Our experience with various ID camps - both east coast and west coast, has not been what's being described. Perhaps its more true on the women's side? Since our kid plays men's soccer, the whole environment may have been different.

Most parents that we noticed just sat and watched. No bragging or slandering or making up $hit about players on the field. At times, casual conversation with other parents, like which one is your kid or where you guys from? No coaching from the sideline or yelling.

We did 4 schools in the northeast and 2 schools in the west (none in the central, south or northwest). All 6 were very civilized. Perhaps we missed it or got lucky but never saw a single parent that we say "that parent"....
 
JJP said:
....Everyone in this game needs to just a develop a thicker skin and better understanding of the rules of this game and how it’s played....
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Agree.

There are, my sense is, way too many parents that essentially say "just do your best honey and don't worry about the outcome" to just about everything. Also over protective parents that simply do not tolerate any criticism about their kids. Yeah I know, I'll get lots of Dislike and Disagree from most of you....

For most of you regulars and long time posters on the forum, you know my responses and replies are rational and even keel. So when I say the above, its because thread like this shouldn't linger multiple pages and days, like it has.

Set realistic expectations and let your kids know when they fail. No its not okay to say as long as you gave your best, because kids will quickly get used to you tolerating whatever they do under the pretense that that was their best. Kids need to learn they have to work at it to reach the objectives. Always adjust the expectations just out of reach, as soon as they reach them.

As for idiotic parents on the sideline, let them. Its entertainment and be glad its not you making fool of yourself.
 
It took me a while because I thought since I played, coached college, etc. that I knew better and my "help" was not like the other crazy parents, but I've become convinced that no matter who you are or who your kid is, long term that if you think anything other than clapping positively or saying nothing during the game and saying anything other than "I loved watching you play" after the game, is helpful, you are doing it wrong. It's been studied to the gills. Your kids don't need you to inspire them or instruct them on the soccer field any more than they need it during a math test. Let them succeed or fail on their own. In the long run it's better for them and for your relationship with them.
 
MR.D said:
Besides watching my kid play I love this part. Better than must see T.V.
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Best is filming it and watching it with a group later. Our favorite is a tiger mom and grandma duo screaming at their 9-year old daughter playing against a team that they were already beating 5-0. The frenzied screaming -- you would have thought the girls hair was on fire and they were trying to get her to put it out.
 
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