Parents from certain teams

Horror story from today.

Dad #1 and Dad #2 yelling at each other, multiple F-bombs back and forth and much posturing. The two idiot fathers have to be separated by their respective adolescent daughters. AYFKM?!!??!
 
zebrafish said:
Horror story from today.

Dad #1 and Dad #2 yelling at each other, multiple F-bombs back and forth and much posturing. The two idiot fathers have to be separated by their respective adolescent daughters. AYFKM?!!??!
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And it continues into the pro teams! If you ever have a chance to travel out of the country, go watch some professional games! You think our youth parents/spectators are ridiculous, just watch and listen to the "adults" at these games, especially if you speak the language!
 
Lambchop said:
And it continues into the pro teams! If you ever have a chance to travel out of the country, go watch some professional games! You think our youth parents/spectators are ridiculous, just watch and listen to the "adults" at these games, especially if you speak the language!
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Nah. Just got to an NFL game in the US.
 
I say just grab some popcorn and enjoy the show! Here are a few of my lines when some parents are coming after me for my kids physical play.

“Don’t blame me he picked it up from his mother’s side of the family.”

“Listen lady, if the ref didn’t see it he didn’t do it. Don’t blame me, I’m not wearing a ref’s uniform.”

These lines are battle tested and they work great!
 
LASTMAN14 said:
A couple of years ago a grandparent and an uncle decided to sit on our side of the field at a fall showcase game. In most cases individuals who do are polite and quiet in my experience. This individual was a heckler and was cheering for his granddaughter continuously through the first half. We politely asked the ref if he could ask this person to move. When the ref asked they refused. We then politely asked the pair to move to their side. Again refusing with some words not necessary to share. Needless to say they were jerks and this turned south fast. It was then the ref crew stepped in and removed the pair.
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Saw something very similar happen 2 weekends ago. Parents from other team sitting on wrong side started bad-mouthing players from our team. They were verbally abusing one in particular, who is a extremely talented and aggressive player, and the nearby-sitting Mom had enough at one point and yelled to them that her DD wasn't fouling she was just dribbling the ball. That started a series of back-and-forth shouting which finally died down. At which point a different Mom from our team quietly suggested that if they wanted to bad-mouth the 12 and 13-year old girls on our team, they should probably go sit on their own side. One of the other team (male) parents took extreme offense at being asked to move, and got up into the Mom's face in a very threatening manner, shouting and gesturing violently. Then a older brother from our team stood up to defend this Mom (not his own), and some near-shoving and people jumping in-between. Ugly, just plain ugly... It was interesting to me that nothing shouted upset this hothead parent until it was suggested in a calm, quiet voice they sit elsewhere, and then he blew a gasket and was foaming at the mouth.

It still blows my mind how many parents sit on the wrong side and then start in on heckling and bashing the children. And yes, we did win, and as you might expect, every goal we scored resulted in more and louder celebrating from our side than was usual. And still they sat there, looking like they were chewing on lemons.
 
timbuck said:
I think that most parents go into games with good intentions.
But then their kid gets roughed up a bit and it all goes to hell.
Or they overhear a parent from another team say something slightly disparaging about a kid.
"Push her BACK!!!!!." "Don't let her push you." "Honey, dont you dare push my kid again" (I've heard all of these several times this Spring - Girls u14 games).

Overheard this weekend by 3 dads who wanted to show off their football throwing skills for everyone during halftime:
"I heard this team we are playing brought players from their higher team for this game." (Reality was it was a holiday weekend and guests were invited because a few kids weren't planning to be back in time. They wound up showing up and we had more on our bench than we had planned). Didn't matter -we lost anyway.
"Geez. That's so weak. Too bad we are going to crush them anyway." (then he repeated it at least 3 times to make sure that everyone could hear him).
Took a lot for me to keep quiet, because even the slightest response would have wound up being an issue.
The simplest thing that I thought to say was "We? You guys should probably stick to throwing the football around and let the 11 year old girls play the game."
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Sounds like someone we all know. (one on every team)
 
I’ve instructed my players that if they hear a parent heckling them or talking smack about them to respond with the following:

1. Point at the parent and yell “Stranger danger” repeatedly.
2. Look at the parent and say “I’m only 13. Can you please not talk bad about me?”
3. “Lady you out weigh me by at least 200 pounds. Are you trying to start a fight with a 7th grader.”
4. Ask the ref to talk to the parents.

Sadly- none of the above ever happens. They just come over after the game and tell me about all of the terrible things they hear.
 
Bananacorner said:
Saw something very similar happen 2 weekends ago. Parents from other team sitting on wrong side started bad-mouthing players from our team. They were verbally abusing one in particular, who is a extremely talented and aggressive player, and the nearby-sitting Mom had enough at one point and yelled to them that her DD wasn't fouling she was just dribbling the ball. That started a series of back-and-forth shouting which finally died down. At which point a different Mom from our team quietly suggested that if they wanted to bad-mouth the 12 and 13-year old girls on our team, they should probably go sit on their own side. One of the other team (male) parents took extreme offense at being asked to move, and got up into the Mom's face in a very threatening manner, shouting and gesturing violently. Then a older brother from our team stood up to defend this Mom (not his own), and some near-shoving and people jumping in-between. Ugly, just plain ugly... It was interesting to me that nothing shouted upset this hothead parent until it was suggested in a calm, quiet voice they sit elsewhere, and then he blew a gasket and was foaming at the mouth.

It still blows my mind how many parents sit on the wrong side and then start in on heckling and bashing the children. And yes, we did win, and as you might expect, every goal we scored resulted in more and louder celebrating from our side than was usual. And still they sat there, looking like they were chewing on lemons.
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My 2007 DD had state cup playoffs yesterday. Semi-final game, up 2-1. Lot of squaking by both sets of parents

Ref gave a yellow card to a girl on the other team for repeatedly throwing her elbow. Parents went ballistic. Ref stopped the game, walked over and told them next person who says anything he was going to call the game. Mother of the girl who got carded banished her husband to the parking lot. Guy stood on a boulder on the other side of the fence so he could see the game and every time one of our girls did something he screamed at the top of his lungs “Why isn’t that a yellow card?!” Complete clown. Must have been a fun car ride home.
 
its just ignorant to sit on the opposing team side, theres a certain team we always tend to have issues with in our age bracket. Theres a dad that I believe purposely does it just to be jerk. The last game he got sent packing and the team lost! Their blind to their own but opposing team players are always at fault.
 
If I ever end up getting in a fight, it will be with someone that talks smack to the kids. We all see them but nobody from their own team does a thing to shut them up. Everyone just accepts that he/she is just likes to act that way.

The best story that I've seen was from a CR that kept on hearing the moms yell for every foul and bad call. The CR got tired and yelled at them " ladies have you listened to how much you all shout! Please be quiet so the kids can focus".

The worst is watching moms from a rec team yell at our kids "you can beat them, they are a bunch of pxxxy's" on Mother's day. I confronted the coach after the game and he ignored me because I couldn't tell him which mom said this, then our kids came over and all pointed at the mom. The coach just put his head down and apologized. LOL
 
zebrafish said:
Horror story from today.

Dad #1 and Dad #2 yelling at each other, multiple F-bombs back and forth and much posturing. The two idiot fathers have to be separated by their respective adolescent daughters. AYFKM?!!??!
Click to expand...

That is really sad that the youth players had to get involved. Other adults should have intervened before the situation got out of control.
 
timbuck said:
I’ve instructed my players that if they hear a parent heckling them or talking smack about them to respond with the following:

1. Point at the parent and yell “Stranger danger” repeatedly.
2. Look at the parent and say “I’m only 13. Can you please not talk bad about me?”
3. “Lady you out weigh me by at least 200 pounds. Are you trying to start a fight with a 7th grader.”
4. Ask the ref to talk to the parents.

Sadly- none of the above ever happens. They just come over after the game and tell me about all of the terrible things they hear.
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As a Referee, I will have the coach remove adults that are yelling negative comments at a youth player or disrupting the game by their stupidity on the sidelines. Players are really good about telling me when an adult is annoying them. I did have a 16 y/o boy yell at a dad from the other team, “If you don’t shut up I am going to kick your fat ass.” I got involved quickly and had the coach remove the adult and I had a talk with the player.
 
Surfref said:
As a Referee, I will have the coach remove adults that are yelling negative comments at a youth player or disrupting the game by their stupidity on the sidelines. Players are really good about telling me when an adult is annoying them. I did have a 16 y/o boy yell at a dad from the other team, “If you don’t shut up I am going to kick your fat ass.” I got involved quickly and had the coach remove the adult and I had a talk with the player.
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You shoulda just let the 16 year old kick that fat ass’s ass.
 
46n2 said:
its just ignorant to sit on the opposing team side.
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When asked nicely to move by the manager or ref, my favorite response is "It is a free world, I can sit where I want to" or "I was here first."

Other than parents that are quietly taking pictures or video, parents should follow the rules. My worst experience was when my average size 12 year old son was playing. A kid on the opposing team that was at least a foot taller [probably 18-20 inches taller] kept plowing down my sweeper son using both his body and arms. It looked more like american football than soccer. After the ref spoke to the kid a few times, he was given a straight red. I did not say anything this whole time but when he was sent off I made the mistake of turning to my dd that was sitting right next to me and said "I am glad that boy is out. I thought your brother was going to get hurt." Well it turns out his very large mother was sitting right behind me on our side of the field. She was holding a baby and I swear she started shaking the baby at me. When asked to move to the other side by our manager she said it was a free world. The refs saw this but refused to step in. After the game the refs apologized and said that their whole sideline was bad and they wanted to call the game, but thought there was more danger in doing that so they let things continue. It is sad when refs feel powerless because of crazy parents.
 
Since we are talking about parents on the wrong side, what is the proper protocol to have them move? Should the manager ask them or should the manager ask their manager to move?

Also for some reason, many parents think that it they are sitting 10 feet back from the field, it does not matter what side they are sitting on. What is the proper distance? And is it ever ok to sit behind the goalie? I am seeing more and more of this lately.
 
Nefutous said:
Since we are talking about parents on the wrong side, what is the proper protocol to have them move? Should the manager ask them or should the manager ask their manager to move?
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As a team manager, I always seek out the opposing team manager first. I've tried talking to people straight up before and asking them nicely, but nowadays people get their feelings hurt for any little reason, so now I just go straight to the other manager. If that doesn't work, I talk to the ref.

Note this only happens if the parents can't behave themselves. As someone who likes to take pictures during the game, I've been guilty of sitting on the opposite side quietly as I take pictures so I have no issue with someone sitting on "our" side if they're enjoying the game.
 
timbuck said:
I’ve instructed my players that if they hear a parent heckling them or talking smack about them to respond with the following:

1. Point at the parent and yell “Stranger danger” repeatedly.
2. Look at the parent and say “I’m only 13. Can you please not talk bad about me?”
3. “Lady you out weigh me by at least 200 pounds. Are you trying to start a fight with a 7th grader.”
4. Ask the ref to talk to the parents.

Sadly- none of the above ever happens. They just come over after the game and tell me about all of the terrible things they hear.
Click to expand...
those are great responses i wish kids would do that i would love to see the persons face.
 
Nefutous said:
Since we are talking about parents on the wrong side, what is the proper protocol to have them move? Should the manager ask them or should the manager ask their manager to move?

Also for some reason, many parents think that it they are sitting 10 feet back from the field, it does not matter what side they are sitting on. What is the proper distance? And is it ever ok to sit behind the goalie? I am seeing more and more of this lately.
Click to expand...

I have a good number of managers approach me (Referee) either prior to the game or at halftime. If it is pregame, I talk to the other team’s coach and manager and have them move their spectators to the proper side. If at halftime, I will try to quickly find the other team’s manager and have them handle it. Or, if it is a major tournament like Surf Cup, Blues, etc. I will get the field marshal to take care of it. If all else fails, I will get the coaches from both teams to address their spectators and get people on the correct sides. I hate having to get the coaches involved at halftime since they are busy with their teams and it delays the second half kickoff. If I do have to get the coaches involved, they are usually not not very nice to their spectators.

To be honest, I really don’t care who sits where unless there are problems, which the two managers should handle, or a team official (coach or manager) complains. My primary job is to ensure player safety and manage the game. It is not to baby sit adult spectators.
 
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