Tuesday, April 7, 2009
First off, we hate Toby Keith. The jingoistic country star made a fortune on pro-war lyrics about putting a boot up your ass because "it's the American way." And his music sucks. So we were delighted to hear that an outlaw country singer thirty years his senior gave the stupid putz a schoolin.' That old guy would be Kris Kristofferson, a country boy himself, who also happens to be a Rhodes scholar and a Ranger who flew helicopters for the Army--and a liberal to boot!
Kris Kristofferson, early in his career
Ethan Hawke, a lifelong Kristofferson fan, wrote a great profile of Kristofferson in Rolling Stone which opens with details of a backstage showdown with Toby Keith at Willie Nelson's 2003 birthday concert at Madison Square Garden. Hawke doesn't identify Keith by name, but he makes his identity pretty clear. "At that moment in time, the Star had a monster radio hit about bombing America's enemies back into the Stone Age."
Toby Keith performing "in costume"
"Up from the basement came one of country music's biggest stars (who shall remain nameless)," writes Hawke, who reports the unnamed star told Kristofferson not to perform "any of that lefty shit out there tonight."
"What the (blank) did you say to me?," Kris growled, stepping forward. "Oh, no," groaned Willie under his breath. "Don't get Kris all riled up."
"You heard me," said Keith.
"Don't turn your back on me, boy," Kristofferson shouted. "You ever wear your country's uniform?" Kris asked rhetorically.
"What?"
"Don't 'what' me, boy! You heard the question. You just don't like the answer." According to Hawke, Kris paused just long enough to get a full chest of air. "I asked, 'Have you ever served your country?' The answer is no, you have not. Have you ever killed another man? Huh? Have you ever taken another man's life and then cashed the check your country gave you for doing it? No, you have not. So shut the (blank) up! You don't know what the (blank) you're talking about!"