We instruct our parents / spectators to not leave the field until such time that an actual card has been issued. If a parent / spectator on our side is out of order we will remove them ourselves, first from the sideline and eventually from the club if the behavior persists. However, we have had multiple instances where the referee has singled out parents for whatever reason and has instructed them to leave. In this scenarios we will support our parents and athletes until such time as an actual card is issued. The reason being that unless the referee actually issues the card the send off is not valid, even under SoCal League. This type of send off alleviates the need for the referee to fill out the formal paperwork which none of them really want to do and then it becomes a he said / she said between the 2 team managers.I can say that there is a considerable amount of extra paperwork for such, and not just for the official. SoCal League requires team managers to also explicitly document all such instances, with penalties for clubs which fail to do so, even if/when no card is actually shown (any motion pointing a person off the field is considered a Send Off, and equivalent to the red card for the parent/spectator, which carries a minimum three game suspension, a mandatory online class, and an effective $50 personal fine for the spectator). The managers also need to gather information from the referees explicitly after the game for reporting purposes, and there's some follow-up documentation requirements for the clubs as well.
Also since we record all our games if a formal report is filed, in the case you feel like there were errors, you can address it through the proper channels and also contest the referee written statements if need be.