I just took your advice and e-mailed the AD who has always been open with us and checked in with my oldest yesterday who was coming off a injury and just got back from a showcase. He has always been very open and a great communicator and we will be chatting in person.
Will have a conversation with him, main objective is a FYI for him as the biggest concern I see here is a ethics hypocrisy and lack of communication from the coach. The player contract clearly states guidelines that the players are following but the coach is not adhering to.
Both of my kids have played for hard coaches, but every single time they knew where they stood in regards to playing time, starting, what they did well, and what they needed to work on. I'll take that any day over "Passive Aggressive" nonsense.
Most of the time, 95%, the kids handle all this dirty work, but they also have a tendency to "suck it up" and that what got my youngest in the predicament she was in with her abusive club coach and her quitting the game. I guess sitting by the corner flag with my air pods and a book isn't buying me any points for being the easy parent who writes checks and never complains. I guess I'm due every 5 years for a talk with a coach.