We couldn't do optimum timing this year because we were going to be gone several times over the summer. By the time we were firmly rooted back at home, it was early August.
Me: "OK, I'm building a planter. What do you want in it?"
She: "I'll get some eggplant seeds."
And I told her when she wanted to grow guava trees that they wouldn't survive the frosts. She said she knew of trees growing in Mira Mesa, so up on a hill in Poway should be ok. As it turned out, we were both right - in peak season we were taking guavas to the boys' Salvadoran soccer coach every week. Then when the frosts came, the leaves would drop off and the branch wood would turn black, forcing me to trim all the way to the ground some years - but they came back.
I was completely right about the cherimoyas - we never got a single fruit.
Ok...Ok...we get it.
APPLICATION FOR THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW
Personal Information:
Name__________ Nickname__________ CB Handle_________
Mama______________ Daddy (Please No)__________
Spouse's Name_________________ Relationship to spouse:
___Sister ____Brother ____Mother ____Father___Pet ___Aunt = ___Uncle
Occupation: ___Unemployed Soccer Forum Troll ___Professional LIAR___Meathead
Number of Children in Household___ Number that are yours___
Circle Highest Level of Education: ___1 2 3 4___Barely High School___ The Navy
How Far is the Espola Street Mobile Home From a Paved Road: ___1 mi. __5 mi. ___?
Number of Times You Have lurked at a High School Soccer event: ___
Number of Vehicles Owned___
Number of Planters you've built___
Truck Equipment: ___Old Milk Crate ___Old Shoes ___Soccer Spikes___Naked man Mudflaps
S&M Equipment Owned:
___Whip ___Leather Mouth Ball___Chains
Number of Dogs Owned: ___
Number of Homemade Computers: ___
Which of the Following Appliances are in your Front Yard:
___Gas Dryer ___Microwave ___TV ___Freezer
How Many of the Above Appliances Work: ___
Fav-o-rite Recreation: ___Drinkin ___Vermont Rabbit Huntin ___Spittin out Lies
If You Can Read, Which Magazines Do You Prefer:
___Old Muscle Mags ___TV Guide ___National Enquirer ___True Confessions
Which Stinks Worse: ___Backhouse ___Outhouse___Spouse
Have You Ever Stayed Sober for More Than One Day: ___Yup___Nope
Do You Know more Words than Coocoo ?
___Yup ___Nope
Which is Correct?: ___"I Seed Him" or ___ " Hoo boy that's nasty "
How Many posts do load on a soccer forum a Day? ___
Honesty Test: How Many times do you use QED in a day ?
___Six ___Eight ___I'm gunna Lie ___I'm gunna Lie more
Number of Times You talk about Good Old Vermont in a day ?
___once ___three ___Fuck I don't know..
Health Questionaire: Which of the Following Do You Have?
___Kneesels ___Toelio ___Smallcoxs ___All Three
Can You Remember the Last Time You Bathed? ___Yup ___Nope
Color of Teeth: ___Yellow ___Brown___Black ___N/A
I hereby swear this is the Spola Truth and sign my "QED" on __________________, 2017