Cal Berkeley Coach (women) abusive

[gkrent]

Second, as bad as it is some places at the college level, it is even worse when I see parents putting their dd's in these situations at the youth level. We have all seen the behavior at the youngest ages of club soccer. Parents are essentially telling their dd's that the behavior is normal/acceptable and it just isn't.

^^^This^^^ We cannot tolerate assholery at the youth level. When you find that *great* coach, stick with them even if the team isn't at the top of the table.

I feel fortunate that we broke ties with one youth coach (one who is well known in orange county and has quite the resume)...he showed his true colors when my daughter very graciously let him know she was moving on. I really should have posted the email he wrote to a 16 year old girl on this forum so people would know what they were getting into with this guy.

 

[crush]

^^^This^^^ We cannot tolerate assholery at the youth level. When you find that *great* coach, stick with them even if the team isn't at the top of the table.

I feel fortunate that we broke ties with one youth coach (one who is well known in orange county and has quite the resume)...he showed his true colors when my daughter very graciously let him know she was moving on. I really should have posted the email he wrote to a 16 year old girl on this forum so people would know what they were getting into with this guy.

I appreciate you sharing your dd story. I have some emails and text from the past, plus my own eye witness accounts. Imagine a top Doc or coach telling his players that they best better not tell their parents the going on's at practice. And oh by the way, if any parent does call to complain or ask for for clarifications, they will be sitting on the bench in front of all the college coaches and YNT scouts looking for top talent. Do you honestly think crush turned his cheek and said nothing about this BS rule? Please, I have been after these type of asses for 6+ years and let me tell you, he hate me. I also told one the top top female coaches in America that one of his coaches said this and that to the girls and nothing happen. One guy yelled such crazy I'm shocked their still coaching. By the way, I hope your dd finds her true calling and path. GK life on earth at this level is insane and not easy. I know many top GK and their parents ands the pressure these player feel are not the same as the other players.

 

[Carlsbad7]

^^^This^^^ We cannot tolerate assholery at the youth level. When you find that *great* coach, stick with them even if the team isn't at the top of the table.

I feel fortunate that we broke ties with one youth coach (one who is well known in orange county and has quite the resume)...he showed his true colors when my daughter very graciously let him know she was moving on. I really should have posted the email he wrote to a 16 year old girl on this forum so people would know what they were getting into with this guy.

We were working with a coach once that was the new hot thing in town so nobody knew his "true colors" / background.

As we were working with him it became clear that he was coin operated by parents through privates, etc. Nope'd it out of there fairly quickly + just like I expected crazy parents jumped in at the opportunity + started showering the coach with goodies. Right now the crazy parents on that team have hit an equilibrium but it's just a matter of time before things explode. Those same parents have caused problems at every club they've been at + have hopped multiple times.

What's sad is I watch the kids + they just like playing + don't understand all the things going on at the coach / parent levels. Eventually the kids will get blindsided by something unethical the coach / parents do. It's just a matter of time before it happens.

 

[oh canada]

Talk to your kids (girls and boys) and make sure they know this sh*t goes on everywhere. College campuses should not be presumptive safehouses...

UCLA to pay record of nearly $700M in doctor abuse lawsuits

The University of California system has agreed to pay $375 million to more than 300 women who said they were sexually abused by a longtime UCLA gynecologist.

apnews.com

I've seen demeaning and verbally abusive coaches at all levels of club coaching. Most disappointing at the "top" clubs in SoCal. When your daughter is fighting back tears due to a coach's comments or behavior, you're failing her by leaving her there, thinking that it will get better. Or, it will be worth it in the long run. Wrong. Leave. The ego will never change.

 

[FutbolHeidiHo]

Well, it looks like they get to be the keystone cops and the private investigators and that is not good. The pressure put on these athletes is wrong and abusive. You also have to be concerned that one of these coaches will try and date your dd, marry them or at least hook up and I don't like that at all. I get hate PMs when I go there but I think it's time we all help clean this abuse up. I can't be the only one who see's all this crap!! I know not all coaches are like this swim coach. However, we need the good one's to start speaking up and not worry about media day. Jimbo called out Nick. Fear keeps so many from speaking up for fear of losing their job, position or spot on the team. "My lips are sealed" they say because they don;t want to get labeled a trouble maker dad or get blacklisted for being a leader.

I have always wondered why Jerry Smith got a free pass at Santa Clara and nobody talks about that. Gross.

 

[outside!]

^^^This^^^ We cannot tolerate assholery at the youth level. When you find that *great* coach, stick with them even if the team isn't at the top of the table.

I feel fortunate that we broke ties with one youth coach (one who is well known in orange county and has quite the resume)...he showed his true colors when my daughter very graciously let him know she was moving on. I really should have posted the email he wrote to a 16 year old girl on this forum so people would know what they were getting into with this guy.

It's not too late to post the email if you still have it.

 

[gkrent]

I have always wondered why Jerry Smith got a free pass at Santa Clara and nobody talks about that. Gross.

SAME

 

[gkrent]

It's not too late to post the email if you still have it.

I’ll have to dig around the archives…it’s been a while but it’s a doozy!

 

[crush]

I’ll have to dig around the archives…it’s been a while but it’s a doozy!

I'm leaving the scene after 11 years. Can you give initials? I'm seriously out of here June 5th unless something big and awesome keeps me here. I'm looking for truth. My dd wrote an interesting bio paper about being "Fearless" for Senior project. I was impressed and soccer was a part of being fearless. She is not finished and will share if it makes sense. The teacher asked the students the following question. The Essence of who I am? My dd said Fearless. I like that and yet is scares me as a parent. I let her drive early on and boy can she drive

 

[crush]

^^^This^^^ We cannot tolerate assholery at the youth level. When you find that *great* coach, stick with them even if the team isn't at the top of the table.

I feel fortunate that we broke ties with one youth coach (one who is well known in orange county and has quite the resume)...he showed his true colors when my daughter very graciously let him know she was moving on. I really should have posted the email he wrote to a 16 year old girl on this forum so people would know what they were getting into with this guy.

I still remember one of the top Guru's in soccer in OC talking nonsense to me. I smelled a snake man and a man with way too much power. He told me if my dd did privates with him and obeyed him and did what he says to do, he could call any college coach and tell them to pick my dd because his words are gold. Total middleman coach. However, if dad calls him out for lying and just being a weirdo, he will also tell coaches to stay clear of my kid because I ask questions. I have an idea who your dd dealt with and I think he needs to go.

 

[Carlsbad7]

I still remember one of the top Guru's in soccer in OC talking nonsense to me. I smelled a snake man and a man with way too much power. He told me if my dd did privates with him and obeyed him and did what he says to do, he could call any college coach and tell them to pick my dd because his words are gold. Total middleman coach. However, if dad calls him out for lying and just being a weirdo, he will also tell coaches to stay clear of my kid because I ask questions. I have an idea who your dd dealt with and I think he needs to go.

We all know how the game is played + once you've been around it for a while it's easy to see how coaches subvert official pathways forward into their best interest.

The trick to addressing the nonsense...
1. Make sure your kid gets good grades. If you have amazing grades you can get into almost any school with or without soccer
2. Watch coaches actions over what they say. If they cut + recruit 4-5 per season it's just a matter of time before your kid gets hit.
3. Remember that most kids don't know what a superteam is. They do know which teams they have friends on + have a good time playing with.
4. Remember that the top college soccer teams are a meat grinder. Coaches treat players like crap + press for unrealistic output. Is this how you want your kid to remember their college experience? Most Pro players make 50kish per year. Doesn't seem worth it.

If your kid plans to play in college getting onto a "decent" (whatever that means to you / your kid) team is the way to go for most players.

It's always better to be a big fish in a small pond than a small fish in a big pond.

 

[crush]

We all know how the game is played + once you've been around it for a while it's easy to see how coaches subvert official pathways forward into their best interest.

The trick to addressing the nonsense...
1. Make sure your kid gets good grades. If you have amazing grades you can get into almost any school with or without soccer
2. Watch coaches actions over what they say. If they cut + recruit 4-5 per season it's just a matter of time before your kid gets hit.
3. Remember that most kids don't know what a superteam is. They do know which teams they have friends on + have a good time playing with.
4. Remember that the top college soccer teams are a meat grinder. Coaches treat players like crap + press for unrealistic output. Is this how you want your kid to remember their college experience? Most Pro players make 50kish per year. Doesn't seem worth it.

If your kid plans to play in college getting onto a "decent" (whatever that means to you / your kid) team is the way to go for most players.

It's always better to be a big fish in a small pond than a small fish in a big pond.

Hey bro, this was NEVER about college. I signed my kid to play freaking soccer. Its not my faught she was getting recruited in 7th grade and 8th grade. I was shocked how freakinh intense all this soccer was. Grades, SAT prep, tutors, privates and so much more BS just to play a sport. The pressure put on femalez is whack and not right.

 

[Carlsbad7]

Hey bro, this was NEVER about college. I signed my kid to play freaking soccer. Its not my faught she was getting recruited in 7th grade and 8th grade. I was shocked how freakinh intense all this soccer was. Grades, SAT prep, tutors, privates and so much more BS just to play a sport. The pressure put on femalez is whack and not right.

I think a lot of people are exactly like you when their kid first starts playing soccer.

Unfortunately over time they start looking at soccer as a the only way to get ahead + Clubs are right there to feed them a "path forward".

All I'm suggesting is if kids want to play in college great! Just understand that being on a superteam isn't always everything parents expect.

 

[crush]

I think a lot of people are exactly like you when their kid first starts playing soccer.

Unfortunately over time they start looking at soccer as a the only way to get ahead + Clubs are right there to feed them a "path forward".

All I'm suggesting is if kids want to play in college great! Just understand that being on a superteam isn't always everything parents expect.

No way man. No one was like me, trust me Anyone who knows me knows college was not preached in my house. Hard work and no escuses was preached. Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart. Soccer is a hostage. The top Guru in OC benched my kid because my kid made the mistake of being honest, saying she wasnt sure ahe wanted to attend college in order to play soccer in America after HS. The look on the Guru face when I spoke to him was priceless.

 

[eastbaysoccer]

Neil should have been fired a long time ago. These soccer programs cost colleges money and just need to be somewhat competitive and provide a wonderful athletic experience in the back drop of academics.

 

[eastbaysoccer]

Looks like the Swimming coach is super mean, allegedly. Why are some coaches assholes? Why do coaches treat other fellow humans like this? WTF up you guys and read this. You think it only happens in swimming? My dd was told by a top coach that the more he yells at a player=the more I care for that player. Yikes!!!

UC Berkeley swimmers allege coach Teri McKeever bullied and verbally abused them for years

Swimmers describe a toxic culture that led to a number mental health issues and an unresponsive administration.

www.ocregister.com

If this happened in the classroom this would not fly.

 

[crush]

If this happened in the classroom this would not fly.

I was thinking about my office work days and even my college days. No professor ever yelled like this at me or had so much control of my life and dreams. I was salesman and also office sales manager for a few years in the Yellow Pages and no one went this far. I do remember a yeller manager who wanted more from his sales reps and yelled at low performers. Male or female, you got called out and embarrassed in front of the other sales members. He got fired for being rude, yelling and then hitting on the same female reps at work sponsored Happy Hours. A few girls complained and rightfully so.

 

[Sike]

Neil should have been fired a long time ago. These soccer programs cost colleges money and just need to be somewhat competitive and provide a wonderful athletic experience in the back drop of academics.

Cal once again doesn't make NCAA's this year. I think they have only made it 3 times in the last 8 years (and lost in round 1 each time). Even putting the abuse claims to the side for a minute, I would have to agree with you based upon the teams performance.

 

[Slobodan]

Cal once again doesn't make NCAA's this year. I think they have only made it 3 times in the last 8 years (and lost in round 1 each time). Even putting the abuse claims to the side for a minute, I would have to agree with you based upon the teams performance.

He pulls a rabbit out of his hat every other season. This wasn't that season.

 

[Sike]

He pulls a rabbit out of his hat every other season. This wasn't that season.

Feels like Cal should be a top program every year, so only making the tournament once in 4 years doesn't feel like much of a magic trick to me. Despite the rumors of abuse, the program continues to attract great players but not be a consistently great program.
2023-Didn't make NCAAs
2022-Lost in first round
2021-Didn't make NCAAs
2020-Didn't make NCAAs
2019-Lost in first round
2018-Didn't make NCAAs
2017-Lost in first round
2016-Didn't make NCAAs

 

[Slobodan]

Feels like Cal should be a top program every year, so only making the tournament once in 4 years doesn't feel like much of a magic trick to me. Despite the rumors of abuse, the program continues to attract great players but not be a consistently great program.
2023-Didn't make NCAAs
2022-Lost in first round
2021-Didn't make NCAAs
2020-Didn't make NCAAs
2019-Lost in first round
2018-Didn't make NCAAs
2017-Lost in first round
2016-Didn't make NCAAs

I agree. He's now been there 18-years. We've seen all we're going to see, right? Cal is annually considered a "best bang for the buck" school so it's odd he's not had more success. Lately he's attracted great goalkeepers... but beyond that?

"Under McGuire's tutelage, the Bears have amassed 6 All Americans, 39 All Region performers and 50 All Pac 12 honorees." Only 50 in nearly 20 years? It does say he's made the tournament "in 13 of his 16" seasons in Berkeley but, to your point, a real decline since 2016.