Bullying on the team..... Need your input

chargerfan said:
I agree. I have a family member that was bullied heavily as a child. Her parents never intervened and told her to work it out herself. Led to a depression and other issues. Children need an ally and an advocate.
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Crap. I didn't read that post right. I meant "better", not "worse"
 
Bernie Sanders said:
I agree 100% that parents should be allies and advocates.
I just am not sure if we should fight our kid's battles for them.

Your family member may have developed the same issues, had the parents decided to "protect" instead of taking the "do it yourself" route.
Its hard to say.
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The kids at Columbine HS sure took care of their bullies.
 
I think the best approach is to let the kid handle it first. Sometimes bullies stop once they are shut down, isolated, or just ignored. But if that doesn't work, a parent should most definitely intervene. I care about the mental health of my children as much as the physical health. I mentioned my cousins experience with severe depression due to bullying, and espooa mentioning columbine was obviously an extreme case, but still reality. Children should be able to feel safe and secure at home, school or even soccer practice.

I don't understand this wish for the good old days. If it was such a good idea to let kids deal with bullies without parental involvement, why are so many adults now in therapy? Alcoholics? On drugs? How many have commited suicide due to bullying?
 
chargerfan said:
I think the best approach is to let the kid handle it first. Sometimes bullies stop once they are shut down, isolated, or just ignored. But if that doesn't work, a parent should most definitely intervene. I care about the mental health of my children as much as the physical health. I mentioned my cousins experience with severe depression due to bullying, and espooa mentioning columbine was obviously an extreme case, but still reality. Children should be able to feel safe and secure at home, school or even soccer practice.

I don't understand this wish for the good old days. If it was such a good idea to let kids deal with bullies without parental involvement, why are so many adults now in therapy? Alcoholics? On drugs? How many have commited suicide due to bullying?
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I dont think there is a "best way".
I think all parents should think it through. What they decide is best for their kid is none of my business.
My intent here was not to say that I know what's best, I just wanted to elicit some thought on the subject.
Too often, I see a herd mentality on these matters, when there is usually a strong case to be made for another viewpoint.

I dont think parents protecting their children from bullies will always prevent therapy, or drug abuse later in life, although in some cases it may.
In some cases it will make things worse.

All of us have had to face down a bully or two in our lives, and the realization in that moment, that we can be strong, and defend ourselves, is something you can never give your child.
They need to find it on their own.
 
Bernie Sanders said:
I dont think there is a "best way".
I think all parents should think it through. What they decide is best for their kid is none of my business.
My intent here was not to say that I know what's best, I just wanted to elicit some thought on the subject.
Too often, I see a herd mentality on these matters, when there is usually a strong case to be made for another viewpoint.

I dont think parents protecting their children from bullies will always prevent therapy, or drug abuse later in life, although in some cases it may.
In some cases it will make things worse.

All of us have had to face down a bully or two in our lives, and the realization in that moment, that we can be strong, and defend ourselves, is something you can never give your child.
They need to find it on their own.
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There are plenty of ways to be strong and independent without be bullied. The level of bullying has escalated to a disturbing level. Do what is best for your child and don't worry about what anyone else says.
 
Lambchop said:
There are plenty of ways to be strong and independent without be bullied. The level of bullying has escalated to a disturbing level. Do what is best for your child and don't worry about what anyone else says.
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I dont think anyone would ever bully Lambchop.
Not even old sourpuss.
 
Anyone watch the way Marta yells at her teammates. I was surprised. Yelling to be in specific places, make better passes, etc. Not a positive player, but sure has a great history.

We had a new girl join our club from another club (only new girl) and I've told my daughter to be nice and make her feel welcome. Practice Saturday she chose her to work with in pairs. Sad that this doesn't happen more. I'm really surprised that the coach hasn't noticed it. With 12-16 girls practicing, the coach should be a bit more aware. Be nice if some of the other girls would step up as well.
 
socalkdg said:
Anyone watch the way Marta yells at her teammates. I was surprised. Yelling to be in specific places, make better passes, etc. Not a positive player, but sure has a great history.

We had a new girl join our club from another club (only new girl) and I've told my daughter to be nice and make her feel welcome. Practice Saturday she chose her to work with in pairs. Sad that this doesn't happen more. I'm really surprised that the coach hasn't noticed it. With 12-16 girls practicing, the coach should be a bit more aware. Be nice if some of the other girls would step up as well.
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Kudos to you for teaching your daughter to be a good teammate and person.
 
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