Find a coach or club that believes in development and creating a great soccer experience for their players and stick with them, even through the losses. This is how change happens.
Agree wholeheartedly, and that's why we chose the coach and club we are with now. Great coach (teaching concepts that will prove successful in the long run), son is having fun again, but will not achieve many wins this season. As far as demanding change, I tried that. Last year we had a coach that was beyond verbally abusive and had a very strained relationship with the truth. I don't know how many kids he made cry from his berating. Kids that weren't even berated were crying out of sympathy, that is how mean spirited he was and how he frightened 10-11 year olds. Fortunately, my son was never really a direct target of being singled out for a verbal beat down, but the toxic environment that the coach created (aided by some parents) made my son reluctant to go to practice. It got to a point that before each practice he asked out loud "I wonder want kind of mood Coach Ahole is going to be in today." I finally contacted the club president regarding the situation with very detailed information about the repeated incidents. The president requested corroborating stories from other parents (1). I spoke to a number of other parents on the team who were fed up with the situation. Four or five families agreed to also contact the club president. You know how many families followed through? One, that's it. You now what happened to the coach despite ample evidence of his misdeeds? Nothing. I tried, but the club soccer machine has gotten too powerful and parents are afraid to speak out for fear of retribution against their child and missing the opportunity of being on a winning team.
I'm not going to apologize for being entertained by the wins and losses of the DA teams my son competes against. It's hardly contributing to "the problem" because that ship has sailed. We all just have to find the best situation for our kids, I hope we're in that place now. Good luck.
(1)As a matter of note, some families had disclosed the coaches abuse in the clubs anonymous end of the year evaluation (calendar year, long before DA season is over), which the president claimed to know nothing about, and said it didn't matter anyway since the evaluations were anonymous it was nothing they could follow up with the parents. Genius!