Univ of Oregon womens coach abusive?

There's a difference between demanding and demeaning.

I've seen demanding coaches that yell at players (both male and female), throw chairs on the field and get booted from games that EVERYONE loves (both players and parents).

Demeaning coaches generally don't exist at the youth level because parents won't pay for that type of treatment. It happens at colleges because players have no power in the player/coach relationship other than the transfer portal.
 
Carlsbad7 said:
There's a difference between demanding and demeaning.

I've seen demanding coaches that yell at players (both male and female), throw chairs on the field and get booted from games that EVERYONE loves (both players and parents).

Demeaning coaches generally don't exist at the youth level because parents won't pay for that type of treatment. It happens at colleges because players have no power in the player/coach relationship other than the transfer portal.
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I don't believe that is true. Demeaning coaches exist in both HS and Club. Same reason. You want to play varsity? You want to be on that top Club team? Coach has track record and club/school stands behind them, they get away with it.
 
I have been reading this thread with great interest to see if anyone would bring up behavior at the club level. There is absolutely a difference in demanding and demeaning and they 100% exist in club as well. You want to play ECNL in a competitive marketplace? You can bet your a$$ these clubs tolerate bad behavior if they believe there is an ROI to be had. The really unfortunate issue at the club level is two fold - the power dynamic between a coach and a minor athlete is one, with the expectation that a minor will voice their concern over the treatment they are receiving from a person of authority. The second is the lack of clarity around reporting misconduct (outside of felony material) to the appropriate entities. Safesport, while nice in concept, is not as useful as they make themselves seem. Yates' report made mention several times that emotional and psychological misconduct is embedded in the youth elite levels as well. That's where it becomes normalized and why players, as they get older, don't speak up.
 
CLML said:
I have been reading this thread with great interest to see if anyone would bring up behavior at the club level. There is absolutely a difference in demanding and demeaning and they 100% exist in club as well. You want to play ECNL in a competitive marketplace? You can bet your a$$ these clubs tolerate bad behavior if they believe there is an ROI to be had. The really unfortunate issue at the club level is two fold - the power dynamic between a coach and a minor athlete is one, with the expectation that a minor will voice their concern over the treatment they are receiving from a person of authority. The second is the lack of clarity around reporting misconduct (outside of felony material) to the appropriate entities. Safesport, while nice in concept, is not as useful as they make themselves seem. Yates' report made mention several times that emotional and psychological misconduct is embedded in the youth elite levels as well. That's where it becomes normalized and why players, as they get older, don't speak up.
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completely agree with you
 
It exists at all levels. It just progressively gets worse the higher up you go. I always said once my second kid is done in the system, I would write a book. It has been truly eye opening. At every single level. Club to playing at a P4 school. The only things that changes is the year.
 
CLML said:
I have been reading this thread with great interest to see if anyone would bring up behavior at the club level. There is absolutely a difference in demanding and demeaning and they 100% exist in club as well. You want to play ECNL in a competitive marketplace? You can bet your a$$ these clubs tolerate bad behavior if they believe there is an ROI to be had. The really unfortunate issue at the club level is two fold - the power dynamic between a coach and a minor athlete is one, with the expectation that a minor will voice their concern over the treatment they are receiving from a person of authority. The second is the lack of clarity around reporting misconduct (outside of felony material) to the appropriate entities. Safesport, while nice in concept, is not as useful as they make themselves seem. Yates' report made mention several times that emotional and psychological misconduct is embedded in the youth elite levels as well. That's where it becomes normalized and why players, as they get older, don't speak up.
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The abuse to the women is systematic and it all starts at the youth level (Yates Report). I tried to speak up but got squashed like a little bug. Parents know if you speak up or if the player does, nothing happens to coach and the player is labelled. Dad is labelled as hawk dad. It's sad but true. I lived it :(
 
pitchplease said:
It exists at all levels. It just progressively gets worse the higher up you go. I always said once my second kid is done in the system, I would write a book. It has been truly eye opening. At every single level. Club to playing at a P4 school. The only things that changes is the year.
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It's so true about the book and how things get worse as each year goes by. A reality tv show would have made me and my dd millions. The older my dd got, the more knives I had in my back. I was told by EVERYONE to STFU and don't speak out on abuse and pay for play favors I saw with my own eyes. I still remember some young guy walking into an outhouse during Surf Cup and then dude comes out looking like a coach for a top Big U. I then watched the coaches at the showcase chatting it up and not scouting. I knew it was all rigged. Then the girls get yelled at, screamed at and just treated like shit, even at the highest level.
 
I knew it was bad when i had to call her coach's boss, after getting no where with the coach, to inquire about the disbursement of funds and some shady dealings. Guess what? I got an immediate call from her coach, with an apology, that was worthless. To this day, the words from this director i spoke with, who also was a parent, and a student athlete in her collegiate years, was this: There are two types of people at this level in sports: Those you want your kids around, and those you don't. And she transferred out that spring and has never been happier. Trust your gut. It never lies.
 
i've heard for years about a norcal coach with his own girls club who is extremely abusive. berating, making fun of players, bringing girls to tears. lots of stories. wouldn't be surprised if someday, someone actually speaks up.
 
LASTMAN14 said:
I feel Mertz was forced out at Oregon. Kinda like Meyers at LMU. Neither program has been successful with the new coaching changes either. I didn’t see Oregon extending his contract prior to and especially now at the end of 2024 season. They will push any litigation until he’s gone.
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Didn't know Meyers but I would think there's less pressure at LMU. And I'm seeing the same thing you're seeing with Chamides. Don't hear anything good or bad about him, though.

Oregon? There was a ton of fanfare when Mertz showed up. I remember that. Maybe if she wins again she'll get another shot.
 
fms said:
i've heard for years about a norcal coach with his own girls club who is extremely abusive. berating, making fun of players, bringing girls to tears. lots of stories. wouldn't be surprised if someday, someone actually speaks up.
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Dayak? I've never seen that from him so maybe you're talking about someone else. There is something of a weird dynamic there, though, and I can't quite put my finger on it.
 
I think it is actually more harmful at the club level. The demeaning behavior by the coach impacts the child, but it is even more damaging to the player when the parents accept/tolerate that behavior. The kid is left to think it is normal/acceptable behavior and they carry that forward in life with other relationships. I've had conversations with other parents about some demeaning coaches (I've heard one coach scream "are you stupid" at a goalie during a game so loud that everyone on the sidelines heard) and the parents blow it off because the team is winning or the coach gets kids recruited. It is bizarre to me. That said, I will also say that I have seen the behavior just as bad on the boys side as the girls (club and college), so I don't think it is isolated to female players.
 
oh canada said:
Came back for first time in a long while to see if more details here about the Univ. of Oregon accusations and surprised to find nothing posted. Hope everyone is doing well and good. Oregon recruits should be aware:

www.oregonlive.com

Ducks women’s soccer players claim harsh treatment, verbal abuse from UO coach Graeme Abel

Former Oregon players say Abel crossed the line beyond the typical criticisms of a hard-nosed coach into harsh and unusually personal verbal attacks.
www.oregonlive.com www.oregonlive.com
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I went googling and saw the University of Oregon certainly seems to have a lot of problems with female athletes...

www.nixonpeabody.com

Title IX complaint against University of Oregon features NIL arguments | Nixon Peabody LLP

Women student-athletes bring class action against the university alleging disparate treatment in several respects, including opportunity to participate in intercollegiate sports and NIL.
www.nixonpeabody.com www.nixonpeabody.com
 
Keeperkat said:
I went googling and saw the University of Oregon certainly seems to have a lot of problems with female athletes...

www.nixonpeabody.com

Title IX complaint against University of Oregon features NIL arguments | Nixon Peabody LLP

Women student-athletes bring class action against the university alleging disparate treatment in several respects, including opportunity to participate in intercollegiate sports and NIL.
www.nixonpeabody.com www.nixonpeabody.com
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Looks like NIL is heading in a predictable direction -- schools that can organize big alumni or fan groups to funnel funding through third-party entities such as Oregon's Division Street will have a recruiting advantage over those schools that cannot participate at the same financial level.
 
Slobodan said:
Didn't know Meyers but I would think there's less pressure at LMU. And I'm seeing the same thing you're seeing with Chamides. Don't hear anything good or bad about him, though.

Oregon? There was a ton of fanfare when Mertz showed up. I remember that. Maybe if she wins again she'll get another shot.
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Michelle Meyers coached at LMU for a long time both as an assistant and head coach. She was well liked by the players and many who worked for the school. But had a losing run. They brought in the UCLA assistant as most know and went 0-20. Far worse than MM. Chamides is there to win. But, he’s told players to leave his first year. And last year had a small recruiting class. He opted for transfers. Still the results were meh. Lots of players are not crazy about him. I can see players leaving after this season. I’d like to see Mertz do well. She had her teams playing a nice style of soccer and did a solid job of bringing in good players.
 
fms said:
i've heard for years about a norcal coach with his own girls club who is extremely abusive. berating, making fun of players, bringing girls to tears. lots of stories. wouldn't be surprised if someday, someone actually speaks up.
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What is UC Davis, Alex?
 
Clubs and parents often turn a blind eye to demeaning behavior if the coach is winning. Demeaning coaching is not uncommon at the more "prestigious" clubs and is easier to get away with because parents don't want to rock the boat in fear of missing out. Demeaning coaching can sometimes be effective in the short term, but is never successful in the long term. It destroys player passion and is likely one of the reasons that players, even great players, leave the sport.
 
watfly said:
Clubs and parents often turn a blind eye to demeaning behavior if the coach is winning. Demeaning coaching is not uncommon at the more "prestigious" clubs and is easier to get away with because parents don't want to rock the boat in fear of missing out. Demeaning coaching can sometimes be effective in the short term, but is never successful in the long term. It destroys player passion and is likely one of the reasons that players, even great players, leave the sport.
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This is probably the best description. Parents - do not tolerate it. It's a drug. It's a temporary high that causes permanent damage to your child's brain.
 
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