Surf Players Being Discouraged from playing HS?

Let me summarize for you. Take responsibility for your child's welfare instead of blaming everyone else for your failure to do so.
Uh, that’s not a summary. It’s a full retreat from your original position, coupled with a gratuitous personal attack.

Your original position was that club soccer is safe but high school soccer is dangerous. Now you’re suggesting that club soccer is the kind of thing I need to protect my kid from. I agree with the second statement, but not the first.
 
Then I’ll take the time now to congratulate your DD on going to play overseas. I’m sure it was/is a huge sacrifice for the family but one that will pay off.
Thanks man. She did it all on her own bro. No sacrifice from us at all as family and I say that as a compliment to the person my dd has become. She had this all planned and made it happen. She is paving her way and I just help with the clean up. Saved up her money from a job she has and it looks like a few sponsors will help as well to cover the rest of the trip. No full rides for this Gap Year. I'm proud of her 100%. It's more for education and seeing the world then for soccer. Soccer is vehicle to go see the world and see how the great game is played. I really see her bringing girls soccer to Iran some day. I know, I know, far fetched, right? You have no idea Kicker but someday even you will become a believer.
 
Golden Gate seems to be speaking some harsh truths in a blunt manner.
I agree. I used harsh words with my truths from the past and my tones with the truth were blunt as well. I think we should all look to speak the truth with compassion and not with blunt force with harshness. Top it off with with kindness ((showing empathy). It) would be amazing for the next group of dads. I blew it with my harshness for sure on here. GG lays it out from a Docs point of view and that's how coach does it. We all need Mercy Mulligans. Parents, coaches and the docs. Kids are super innocent and need guidance.
 
I agree. I used harsh words with my truths from the past and my tones with the truth were blunt as well. I think we should all look to speak the truth with compassion and not with blunt force with harshness. Top it off with with kindness ((showing empathy). It) would be amazing for the next group of dads. I blew it with my harshness for sure on here. GG lays it out from a Docs point of view and that's how coach does it. We all need Mercy Mulligans. Parents, coaches and the docs. Kids are super innocent and need guidance.
Just a friendly reminder that your dissociative personality disorder kicked in again. Told you years ago I would remind you to take your medication and stick to one of your identities.
 
Just a friendly reminder that your dissociative personality disorder kicked in again. Told you years ago I would remind you to take your medication and stick to one of your identities.
I took it but this is real me. I have many virtues I'm trying to live by. I fall and pick myself up and say sorry when needed. I share deep from my emotions of pain and that was wrong. I should have handled things differently and in a more respectful way. It's all about today and how things will get better. Good to see you back on the forum. Missed your comments. I want peace and fairness for all mankind, including you. The last few years have been insane. I am different then you and that's ok. Peace to you and your family :)
 
Before the start of HS soccer the DOC at Surf told several teams (the ones he was the head coach of) that if players played HS soccer he would not assist them with college recruiting and it showed a lack of commitment to the club/program. Some parents were shocked by this, and discussed this with the club at which time the DOC denied that he had said. Unfortunately, he was in a room full of people when he said to not play HS soccer. The club elected to believe him and there were no repercussions for the DOC.

I understand from another parent that as a follow up, any girls that choose to play HS were not allowed to travel to Texas with the 05 ECNL team in the last week or two as punishment for playing HS. The '05 team had to use 06s & 07s to field a team.

Believe me, don't believe me, I don't care. My daughter played at Surf and was in the room when this was communicated. If you want to know about him maybe you can ask some parents, kids and coaches that have left since he got there. As for results, look at the '05 Surf ECNL-R team before he showed up (consistently played at a high level and won Man City last year beating 2 ECNL teams along the way) and now (middle of the road ECNLR team at best). Massive turnover with the team and a coaching change in the middle of the season. Buyer beware.
 
Shouldn't it be a good thing he said it in a room full of people? Now you have witnesses
There were witnesses. When the parents brought this up the club asked the DOC about it, and he denied saying it. The cub decided the DOC's statement was sufficient and ALL of the parents must be lying. They backed the DOC; many people are not sure why they did this.
 
There were witnesses. When the parents brought this up the club asked the DOC about it, and he denied saying it. The cub decided the DOC's statement was sufficient and ALL of the parents must be lying. They backed the DOC; many people are not sure why they did this.
Because Surf always does this. Most of us old timers can remember them backing a coach years ago with an obvious drug issue, as just one example. There are a couple other clubs in SD county with honest and reputable execs and coaches who truly care about their players (and allow kids to play HS without repercussion) - one GA club to the north of Surf and an ECNL club to the far south. Though I don't have personal experience with either, I've heard plenty of good things about both.
 
There are a couple other clubs in SD county with honest and reputable execs and coaches who truly care about their players (and allow kids to play HS without repercussion) - one GA club to the north of Surf and an ECNL club to the far south. Though I don't have personal experience with either, I've heard plenty of good things about both.
If the GA club you are talking about is in The Village by the Sea, my daughter played for the girls DOC, and he was a large reason she left for greener pastures. If you think they are a good club, so be it. We had personal experience with the club and had a different experience than what you indicated (as did a lot of keepers as their evidence on rosters of other clubs).
 
Before the start of HS soccer the DOC at Surf told several teams (the ones he was the head coach of) that if players played HS soccer he would not assist them with college recruiting and it showed a lack of commitment to the club/program. Some parents were shocked by this, and discussed this with the club at which time the DOC denied that he had said. Unfortunately, he was in a room full of people when he said to not play HS soccer. The club elected to believe him and there were no repercussions for the DOC.

I understand from another parent that as a follow up, any girls that choose to play HS were not allowed to travel to Texas with the 05 ECNL team in the last week or two as punishment for playing HS. The '05 team had to use 06s & 07s to field a team.

Believe me, don't believe me, I don't care. My daughter played at Surf and was in the room when this was communicated. If you want to know about him maybe you can ask some parents, kids and coaches that have left since he got there. As for results, look at the '05 Surf ECNL-R team before he showed up (consistently played at a high level and won Man City last year beating 2 ECNL teams along the way) and now (middle of the road ECNLR team at best). Massive turnover with the team and a coaching change in the middle of the season. Buyer beware.

Deza communicated his expectations seven months ago, clearly telling everyone he discouraged HS, playing HS would get in the way of his ability to get their child recruited, and kids ran the risk of getting passed over by other more committed kids. Go figure, that is exactly what happened.

Of course he isn't taking kids who played HS to the ECNL showcase. They inevitably picked up bad habits that takes more than a couple weeks to unlearn, their timing is way off with their teammates. It's hard and takes time to reincorporate kids into his system within a couple weeks when they've been gone playing boot ball for three months. Most kids come back from HS soccer banged up and worn out because they were often overworked on their HS teams, especially if they did well, which means an increased risk of injury at the showcase. He also needs to make decisions about who will and won't go weeks in advance because it isn't fair to lead kids on who were committed to his process and did what he asked, only to tell them never mind because your daughter who lacks the same level of commitment rolled in last week expecting all the benefits without any of the obligations, and pretending what he said seven months ago didn't happen. He also doesn't need kids who may not be ready to get back to playing his system screwing things up for the others who are trying to get recruited. In his opinion, its better to bring up a younger player whom he knows will make the right passes, be in the right positions, and do what he wants than the kid who just missed three months dribbling too much, passing too little, and whose timing is way off because she hasn't played with her teammates in months.

When you say he told kids he would not help them get recruited if they played HS, you are just lying. He did say it would get in the way of that, and that is exactly what happened. Those kids missed the ECNL showcase because they weren't as committed as the others, and he didn't want to have to deal with uncertainty about who would and wouldn't be ready to play when they came back from HS, or even when they would be back to start training again. If a kid chose HS, that was their decision and good for them, but claiming that a kid who played HS deserves a spot on the ECNL roster a few weeks after missing almost three months over kids who prioritized club over HS is just selfish clueless bs. And, honestly, the kids who played HS deserved punishment.

Life is about choices. He gave everyone options, he communicated to what would happen if they picked HS, and they chose HS over maximizing their kid's ability to get recruited for college. Why are you so mad? Why do you think a kid who was not as committed to club should get selected for the showcase over someone who was?
 
If the GA club you are talking about is in The Village by the Sea, my daughter played for the girls DOC, and he was a large reason she left for greener pastures. If you think they are a good club, so be it. We had personal experience with the club and had a different experience than what you indicated (as did a lot of keepers as their evidence on rosters of other clubs).
Noted. Wish your daughter the best.
 
Deza communicated his expectations seven months ago, clearly telling everyone he discouraged HS, playing HS would get in the way of his ability to get their child recruited, and kids ran the risk of getting passed over by other more committed kids. Go figure, that is exactly what happened.

Of course he isn't taking kids who played HS to the ECNL showcase. They inevitably picked up bad habits that takes more than a couple weeks to unlearn, their timing is way off with their teammates. It's hard and takes time to reincorporate kids into his system within a couple weeks when they've been gone playing boot ball for three months. Most kids come back from HS soccer banged up and worn out because they were often overworked on their HS teams, especially if they did well, which means an increased risk of injury at the showcase. He also needs to make decisions about who will and won't go weeks in advance because it isn't fair to lead kids on who were committed to his process and did what he asked, only to tell them never mind because your daughter who lacks the same level of commitment rolled in last week expecting all the benefits without any of the obligations, and pretending what he said seven months ago didn't happen. He also doesn't need kids who may not be ready to get back to playing his system screwing things up for the others who are trying to get recruited. In his opinion, its better to bring up a younger player whom he knows will make the right passes, be in the right positions, and do what he wants than the kid who just missed three months dribbling too much, passing too little, and whose timing is way off because she hasn't played with her teammates in months.

When you say he told kids he would not help them get recruited if they played HS, you are just lying. He did say it would get in the way of that, and that is exactly what happened. Those kids missed the ECNL showcase because they weren't as committed as the others, and he didn't want to have to deal with uncertainty about who would and wouldn't be ready to play when they came back from HS, or even when they would be back to start training again. If a kid chose HS, that was their decision and good for them, but claiming that a kid who played HS deserves a spot on the ECNL roster a few weeks after missing almost three months over kids who prioritized club over HS is just selfish clueless bs. And, honestly, the kids who played HS deserved punishment.

Life is about choices. He gave everyone options, he communicated to what would happen if they picked HS, and they chose HS over maximizing their kid's ability to get recruited for college. Why are you so mad? Why do you think a kid who was not as committed to club should get selected for the showcase over someone who was?
Knew you would chime in. 2 things - 1) didn't waste time reading your post. 2) - go f yourself.
 
Deza communicated his expectations seven months ago, clearly telling everyone he discouraged HS, playing HS would get in the way of his ability to get their child recruited, and kids ran the risk of getting passed over by other more committed kids. Go figure, that is exactly what happened.

Of course he isn't taking kids who played HS to the ECNL showcase. They inevitably picked up bad habits that takes more than a couple weeks to unlearn, their timing is way off with their teammates. It's hard and takes time to reincorporate kids into his system within a couple weeks when they've been gone playing boot ball for three months. Most kids come back from HS soccer banged up and worn out because they were often overworked on their HS teams, especially if they did well, which means an increased risk of injury at the showcase. He also needs to make decisions about who will and won't go weeks in advance because it isn't fair to lead kids on who were committed to his process and did what he asked, only to tell them never mind because your daughter who lacks the same level of commitment rolled in last week expecting all the benefits without any of the obligations, and pretending what he said seven months ago didn't happen. He also doesn't need kids who may not be ready to get back to playing his system screwing things up for the others who are trying to get recruited. In his opinion, its better to bring up a younger player whom he knows will make the right passes, be in the right positions, and do what he wants than the kid who just missed three months dribbling too much, passing too little, and whose timing is way off because she hasn't played with her teammates in months.

When you say he told kids he would not help them get recruited if they played HS, you are just lying. He did say it would get in the way of that, and that is exactly what happened. Those kids missed the ECNL showcase because they weren't as committed as the others, and he didn't want to have to deal with uncertainty about who would and wouldn't be ready to play when they came back from HS, or even when they would be back to start training again. If a kid chose HS, that was their decision and good for them, but claiming that a kid who played HS deserves a spot on the ECNL roster a few weeks after missing almost three months over kids who prioritized club over HS is just selfish clueless bs. And, honestly, the kids who played HS deserved punishment.

Life is about choices. He gave everyone options, he communicated to what would happen if they picked HS, and they chose HS over maximizing their kid's ability to get recruited for college. Why are you so mad? Why do you think a kid who was not as committed to club should get selected for the showcase over someone who was?

Eratosthenes: "The world is round."
Golden Gate: "No, it's flat, you stupid as+hole."

Zelensky: "We are not Nazi's, I'm actually Jewish, in fact."
Golden Gate: "No, you're not Jewish, you stupid di*k."
Putin: "I like this guy Golden Gate."

Carli Lloyd: "The USWNT was a toxic culture my last few years on the team."
Golden Gate: "No, it wasn't you stupid bi**h. I have personal knowledge of the entire situation and let me spend the next thirty minutes writing five run-on paragraphs about why I'm right and you're wrong."

Golden Gate (while looking in the mirror): "You are smart. You are intelligent. You are smart. You are intelligent. You are smart..."

#ignorebutton
 
Knew you would chime in. 2 things - 1) didn't waste time reading your post. 2) - go f yourself.

Yes, when people say stupid things, I tend to show up.

Why are you upset about someone who is trying to get kids into college when that isn't even your kid's path? He makes it clear to everyone that his job, his value proposition, is to help approximately 18 kids a year maximize their college potential. When you don't do what he wants, it not only negatively impacts the kid who isn't listening, but also the ones who are. It isn't just about you. When a kid commits early, he still wants them to play club because that player might be able to help get exposure for the ones who aren't. There are a hundred places your kid can play soccer, including at Surf, that don't care whether she plays in college, and aren't trying to get kids there. You keep trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. You're just a bitter negative fool like crush who throws tantrums when they don't get what they want regardless of how unreasonable or unrealistic.

Deza told you his expectations and what would happen, yet here you are seven months later upset that he followed through.
 
Eratosthenes: "The world is round."
Golden Gate: "No, it's flat, you stupid as+hole."

Zelensky: "We are not Nazi's, I'm actually Jewish, in fact."
Golden Gate: "No, you're not Jewish, you stupid di*k."
Putin: "I like this guy Golden Gate."

Carli Lloyd: "The USWNT was a toxic culture my last few years on the team."
Golden Gate: "No, it wasn't you stupid bi**h. I have personal knowledge of the entire situation and let me spend the next thirty minutes writing five run-on paragraphs about why I'm right and you're wrong."

Golden Gate (while looking in the mirror): "You are smart. You are intelligent. You are smart. You are intelligent. You are smart..."

#ignorebutton

The only thing you said that was accurate was the run on sentences that I love they are really effective at conveying the patronizing tone that I'm going for.
 
If the expectations and consequences were made clear up front, then I don't see what there is to fuss about.

Families/Girls made a decision to play at Surf or not, and also to play high school or not, fully aware of the pros and cons of each pathway.

If Deza didn't do exactly what you say that he did, that would be immensely unfair to the kids who chose to forego either Surf or high school soccer when presented with the clear choices and consequences. Right?
 
If the expectations and consequences were made clear up front, then I don't see what there is to fuss about.

Families/Girls made a decision to play at Surf or not, and also to play high school or not, fully aware of the pros and cons of each pathway.

If Deza didn't do exactly what you say that he did, that would be immensely unfair to the kids who chose to forego either Surf or high school soccer when presented with the clear choices and consequences. Right?
When the club was questioned as to the official Surf attitude towards HS soccer, the parents were told by the club that Surf is supportive of the HS soccer experience and knew that it was important to a large number of girls. The CLUB didn't have an issue with the girls playing HS and at least implied there would not be any repercussions. And of course, there were repercussions.

I am leaving out stories of what the gentleman did to other kids as they are not my stories to tell but they are not feel good stories about him. I know that a certain sub-set of parents will defend the Club and the DOC no matter what. I am sharing the information now as I said earlier in this post I would when the time was right. People are free to take their kid(s) wherever they want. I would not bring my kid here at this time due to the culture. Do what you want with that info.
 
Eratosthenes: "The world is round."
Golden Gate: "No, it's flat, you stupid as+hole."

Zelensky: "We are not Nazi's, I'm actually Jewish, in fact."
Golden Gate: "No, you're not Jewish, you stupid di*k."
Putin: "I like this guy Golden Gate."

Carli Lloyd: "The USWNT was a toxic culture my last few years on the team."
Golden Gate: "No, it wasn't you stupid bi**h. I have personal knowledge of the entire situation and let me spend the next thirty minutes writing five run-on paragraphs about why I'm right and you're wrong."

Golden Gate (while looking in the mirror): "You are smart. You are intelligent. You are smart. You are intelligent. You are smart..."

#ignorebutton
Dam, that was funny.
 
When the club was questioned as to the official Surf attitude towards HS soccer, the parents were told by the club that Surf is supportive of the HS soccer experience and knew that it was important to a large number of girls. The CLUB didn't have an issue with the girls playing HS and at least implied there would not be any repercussions. And of course, there were repercussions.

I am leaving out stories of what the gentleman did to other kids as they are not my stories to tell but they are not feel good stories about him. I know that a certain sub-set of parents will defend the Club and the DOC no matter what. I am sharing the information now as I said earlier in this post I would when the time was right. People are free to take their kid(s) wherever they want. I would not bring my kid here at this time due to the culture. Do what you want with that info.

Now you are talking out of both sides of your mouth. You don't get to say that the coach and DOC told you seven months ago exactly what would happen if your kid played HS, yet Surf was supportive of playing HS so therefore your kid would get priority over others who didn't. The actual coach (and DOC) said exactly what would happen and, OMG, it did. So shocking. BTW Surf is supportive of playing HS, just not on the teams where getting recruited for college is the goal.

I love these super duper secret stories about Deza. I'll give you one. I once heard about a parent who complained their daughter wanted to go to a specific university, and the college coach was very interested, but Deza wouldn't recommend her there because he believed she was a bad fit. The parents were mad as hell at him for not advocating for their kid, because they paid good money. She ended up going there and transferred out after her freshman year. They refused to appreciate that Deza's ability to get all his recruited to the right schools depends on him not overselling or selling the wrong kids to programs, because then they lose respect. His ability to get her recruited to the right school was earned over many years by not doing the very thing they wanted him to do now, and although he was right. He gained more respect from that coach, and he also gained more respect from other parents.

People like them and you can't see past your own nose, but think it's all about you. You don't care that missing three months of club to play HS negatively impacts her teammates. You also completely miss the incredibly obvious point that he tried to do you a favor by telling you that you were in the wrong place and for that reason he didn't want your money. Instead, you ignored the warning and still stuck that fork right into light socket hoping food would come out.
 
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