There's a film that explores this very question in the jazz band world and has become one of my favorite films, from the maker of "LalaLand": "Whiplash". The film doesn't really take a position, but asks a lot of interesting questions.
Different kids are different. A lot depends on the age, relationship, and what it is the player did well or wrong. The trick is knowing where the line is, and that's why it's more of an art than a science. The line will be different with different kids. I don't really have an issue with the "that's horrible" so long as the kid is told why it's horrible. The "what's wrong with you" is dicier because it goes to the core competence of the player and makes it about them, not the skill. But to say no yelling, or all coaching must be positive, is also not really the way to go...sometimes kids need to be pushed.
The best teacher I had was in 6th grade...she was a mean ol' nun. Until then I skated by at school but she saw something in me, and pushed me. She didn't take my excuses, she yelled at me when I made them, and made me take responsibility for my failures. But she never called me an idiot, or a loser, or made me feel bad about myself (just for my behavior in cutting corners...she never called me lazy but was plenty clear when I was being lazy). I hated her at the time, but I still find myself thinking about that teacher every once in a while as an adult. She told me how the world really was, and I am what I am in part because of her. I'm very grateful to have had someone that cared enough to push me, and to push me in a way that cared and was appropriate for my age and personality.