I can't say if your thought is right or wrong. Every kid is different, so try to find what fits best. Do research. Watch a few practices. Watch a few games.
To your points #2 and #3 - Think back to your childhood. When did you "learn" to competitive? Did someone teach you? When did you learn what it takes to be a winner?
I can't personally say when those things happened for me. I've won and lost my share of games as a kid. And I've won and lost my share of things in my adult life. I still learn something new each day with regard to what it takes to be a winner.
I personally hate losing a little bit more than I love winning. When I lose - I get pissed and stew over it for a while and try to find a way to not lose again next time. When I win, it's what I expect. The celebration doesn't last as long as the anger does over losing.
Simply ask your kid - What do you want to do next season?
Don't preface it with "travel, wins/losses, financial, commitment, etc." Just ask them what they want to do. And then do whatever you can to try and find them that situation.
