Recruiting Tips for Parents Just Starting the Process

[Zerodenero]

You have to remember that at the end of the day this is women's soccer.

Another Truth! ......There's always the should be, ought to be, too bad to be....but it is what it is, how are you (player/parent) going to navigate in the ever changing (yet ironically the same) girls youth soccer landscape.

As complex as this Soccer recruiting thing is or seams....the outline of success is pretty much summed in this Thread.

It was once oh, so elequently summed as this...."GET IN WHERE YOU FIT IN" - Tod Anthony Shaw (aka, Too Short)

 

[Hank Walker]

99 out of 100 9th and 10th graders have no idea what to look for in a college fit. Academic fit, cultural fit, geographic fit, financial fit, athletic fit? As a 9th grader? No way. Once they have a couple years of high school under their belt, then they should start thinking and researching what might be a good fit.

 

[Zerodenero]

99 out of 100 9th and 10th graders have no idea what to look for in a college fit. Academic fit, cultural fit, geographic fit, financial fit, athletic fit? As a 9th grader? No way. Once they have a couple years of high school under their belt, then they should start thinking and researching what might be a good fit.

Hank......Partner, I'm afraid I must disagree. We're not dealing with Low Hanging fruit soccer players around these parts of the country. This is SoCal, highest concentration of soccer talent in the nation.

The discussion/dialogue/pondering ideas start in 8th...7th....6th....hell, when they start to crawl. It starts in the home, From you, from me, and NOT left to the seeing where the cards lay

 

[CaliKlines]

99 out of 100 9th and 10th graders have no idea what to look for in a college fit. Academic fit, cultural fit, geographic fit, financial fit, athletic fit? As a 9th grader? No way. Once they have a couple years of high school under their belt, then they should start thinking and researching what might be a good fit.

I have to agree with you HW...almost 100% of 9th graders don't know the difference between Stanford or Samford. I have yet to meet a 5th grader that would give a damn about learning about colleges/universities. We took our player to Russia when she was 10 yrs old. All she remembers is the "circus building". (It's the Church of the Savior of Spilled Blood.)

When I asked my player what she wanted in a college, her answer was "cold weather". So we took her to unofficially visit a variety of schools to give her a foundation of understanding...We visited Washington University in St. Louis (small, private,academic D3), University of Illinois-Champaign (large public D1), Notre Dame (mid sized, private D1), and Northwestern (large, private D1). It gave her a good range, in addition to visiting some local schools. I strongly suggest exposing the student athlete to different types of schools, just so they have some idea of what a small private D3 is like, compared to a large public D1. Good luck to you and your player.

 

[Toepoke]

99 out of 100 9th and 10th graders have no idea what to look for in a college fit. Academic fit, cultural fit, geographic fit, financial fit, athletic fit? As a 9th grader? No way. Once they have a couple years of high school under their belt, then they should start thinking and researching what might be a good fit.

No where in my post did I say make a decision as a 9th or 10th grader as I agree that most kids that age don't know what to look for in a college. Some do but most do not. At least start the process during those years to get ideas into their head on what they may like. As ZD said it's up to the parents to educate them and you do that by keeping it simple. Big school vs small school; public vs private; faith based vs non-faith based; urban campus vs rural campus; high academic standards vs not so high standards; commuter school vs most students living on campus.... It's really not that difficult to provide them choices to discuss during the first 2 years of HS. Kids don't know what they don't know so take them to various types of campuses so they can see the difference. Don't allow the school to make the decision for them cause they offered a scholarship even though the school may not be a good fit for the kid. Provide the kid with as much information as possible beforehand so they can make an informed decision if a school does offer a scholarship. If you just let your child figure it out on their own and not help them with these decisions before their junior year then expect them to be playing catch up to kids who did do their homework. Parents are fooling themselves if they think coaches are not going to get commitments from players prior to their junior year. This new rule will just keep it from being publicized until their junior year.

 

[Zerodenero]

I have to agree with you HW...almost 100% of 9th graders don't know the difference between Stanford or Samford. I have yet to meet a 5th grader that would give a damn about learning about colleges/universities. We took our player to Russia when she was 10 yrs old. All she remembers is the "circus building". (It's the Church of the Savior of Spilled Blood.)
.

Cali - I know you and a few of us old timers here have the Hatfield & McCoy thing going but dude... your flat out wrong....or not?

Question....You don't think the discussions a kid hears in the home, between parents/kids/siblings, sets a tone, sets a dream, sets aspirations that can become an ethos towards excellence?

This is just another example of the difference in our views. It may also be the reason why some of the parents on this forum have DD's who are going to Stanford, Princeton and Yale....that process was a mindset, And I am without a doubt, 100% certain it starts WELL before the 9th grade.

You and I have done our job, our dd's have chosen their path. The real question is for parents who's kid is now in the process......which side of the road are you? .....How will you guide your kid?...and will you unconsciously put a limit as to what they can, and can't do??

 

[Hank Walker]

No where in my post did I say make a decision as a 9th or 10th grader as I agree that most kids that age don't know what to look for in a college. Some do but most do not. At least start the process during those years to get ideas into their head on what they may like. As ZD said it's up to the parents to educate them and you do that by keeping it simple. Big school vs small school; public vs private; faith based vs non-faith based; urban campus vs rural campus; high academic standards vs not so high standards; commuter school vs most students living on campus.... It's really not that difficult to provide them choices to discuss during the first 2 years of HS. Kids don't know what they don't know so take them to various types of campuses so they can see the difference. Don't allow the school to make the decision for them cause they offered a scholarship even though the school may not be a good fit for the kid. Provide the kid with as much information as possible beforehand so they can make an informed decision if a school does offer a scholarship. If you just let your child figure it out on their own and not help them with these decisions before their junior year then expect them to be playing catch up to kids who did do their homework. Parents are fooling themselves if they think coaches are not going to get commitments from players prior to their junior year. This new rule will just keep it from being publicized until their junior year.

Toepoke, I pretty much agree with everything you wrote and I don't mean to suggest we shouldn't direct our kids and have them well prepared for when those recruiting discussions start. However, I don't want my kids even thinking about college while they are in 9th and 10th grade. Too young, too immature and too uninformed to understand the nuances of choosing a college. And I also agree with you that my philosophy of waiting longer does put my kids at risk of missing out on some scholarship opportunities, but I don't think my kids future should be dictated by a way-too-early feeding frenzy to grab scholarship money while it's still available.

And to Zerodenero's point, I'm not saying that a family shouldn't have an academic plan and process that opens as many doors as possible for your kids at the end of high school. And yes, that process starts well before 9th grade but for me, it is a completely separate discussion from recruiting timelines.

 

[MakeAPlay]

Cali - I know you and a few of us old timers here have the Hatfield & McCoy thing going but dude... your flat out wrong....or not?

Question....You don't think the discussions a kid hears in the home, between parents/kids/siblings, sets a tone, sets a dream, sets aspirations that can become an ethos towards excellence?

This is just another example of the difference in our views. It may also be the reason why some of the parents on this forum have DD's who are going to Stanford, Princeton and Yale....that process was a mindset, And I am without a doubt, 100% certain it starts WELL before the 9th grade.

You and I have done our job, our dd's have chosen their path. The real question is for parents who's kid is now in the process......which side of the road are you? .....How will you guide your kid?...and will you unconsciously put a limit as to what they can, and can't do??

ZD as always your words should be forum canon. Good luck to you and your player!

 

[MakeAPlay]

I have to agree with you HW...almost 100% of 9th graders don't know the difference between Stanford or Samford.......Good luck to you and your player.

Maybe in your household this is true but that doesn't surprise me. And don't be a Melania. Get your own catchphrase. LOL!!

That's pretty obvious right @Zerodenero ?

 

[Dubs]

As someone who is knee deep in the process and in the middle of everything you're debating, I will comment. What i've learned so far is that the information on this forum (all of it) is very helpful as a backdrop for understanding the process and for helping our kids determine what might be the best choice for them. In my kids case, she is a Freshman, but has known for a long time she was going to be on the college athlete path. We've been doing our best to show her different environments, but things have definitely accelerated with the interest levels from different schools and she believes she knows where she wants to be. Luckily, that school is looking hard at her and she's hoping to commit there soon (before August when the next set of rules are implemented). I honestly struggle with the feeling of being rushed and trying to ensure she gets everything she/we need... financials, soccer program, academics, etc... This school checks all boxes for her, so as long as the financials work out, she will move forward with them. Wish us luck!

 

[Toepoke]

......However, I don't want my kids even thinking about college while they are in 9th and 10th grade. Too young, too immature and too uninformed to understand the nuances of choosing a college. And I also agree with you that my philosophy of waiting longer does put my kids at risk of missing out on some scholarship opportunities, but I don't think my kids future should be dictated by a way-too-early feeding frenzy to grab scholarship money while it's still available.

And to Zerodenero's point, I'm not saying that a family shouldn't have an academic plan and process that opens as many doors as possible for your kids at the end of high school. And yes, that process starts well before 9th grade but for me, it is a completely separate discussion from recruiting timelines.

I was part of the old forum when my DD was a Ulittle and I learned a lot from posters who's kids were older or already in college (MAP, ZD, Cali, IZ). The research process for us wasn't something that was time consuming or constant for 2 straight years. We avoided the feeding frenzy and feeling rushed to make a decision by discussing topics here and there when on vacation, at showcases, home watching college soccer on TV or when coaches showed interest via our coach after games. It sounds like your DD is a Ulittle or will be starting HS next year so I understand your thought process as I was there also. Enjoy the journey because it will be over sooner than you know it.

 

[Dubs]

Thanks for that. She IS a Freshman, so everything is happening fast...

 

[Real Deal]

Toepoke, I pretty much agree with everything you wrote and I don't mean to suggest we shouldn't direct our kids and have them well prepared for when those recruiting discussions start. However, I don't want my kids even thinking about college while they are in 9th and 10th grade. Too young, too immature and too uninformed to understand the nuances of choosing a college. And I also agree with you that my philosophy of waiting longer does put my kids at risk of missing out on some scholarship opportunities, but I don't think my kids future should be dictated by a way-too-early feeding frenzy to grab scholarship money while it's still available.

And to Zerodenero's point, I'm not saying that a family shouldn't have an academic plan and process that opens as many doors as possible for your kids at the end of high school. And yes, that process starts well before 9th grade but for me, it is a completely separate discussion from recruiting timelines.

I don't understand. As it is now, your child can choose to wait to make a decision until junior year. Someone esle's can choose freshman year if she is ready and has good offers. Why not just make it a personal choice instead of a rule?

As I have stated before, if there must be a rule, I'd be hoping for allowing commits (verbal) in sophomore year instead of junior as I do feel that's the most realistic time frame and leaves plenty of opportunity for exploring options.

 

[outside!]

I don't understand. As it is now, your child can choose to wait to make a decision until junior year. Someone esle's can choose freshman year if she is ready and has good offers. Why not just make it a personal choice instead of a rule?

As I have stated before, if there must be a rule, I'd be hoping for allowing commits (verbal) in sophomore year instead of junior as I do feel that's the most realistic time frame and leaves plenty of opportunity for exploring options.

DD committed during her sophomore year. She felt it was too early, but the timing is what it is when it comes to scholarship availability. Her college coach felt it was too early, but said they have to do what the other schools are doing to compete for players. I felt it was too early as DD really had no idea what she wanted to study at that time. The good news is she is very happy with her choice and is excited to start in the fall.

When you have kids committing during freshman and sophomore years, the parents have to be very involved in helping make the decision. I think it would be better if the players were more mature and better able to guide the process themselves since it has such a huge impact on their future. I don't see any reason the entire process could not be moved to junior year with the exceptions of unofficial visits.

 

[Hank Walker]

I don't understand. As it is now, your child can choose to wait to make a decision until junior year. Someone esle's can choose freshman year if she is ready and has good offers. Why not just make it a personal choice instead of a rule?

As I have stated before, if there must be a rule, I'd be hoping for allowing commits (verbal) in sophomore year instead of junior as I do feel that's the most realistic time frame and leaves plenty of opportunity for exploring options.

I don't feel it helps either side to commit early. Colleges would be better off if they didn't extend offers until seeing a more mature athletic body of work. Kids would be better off if they didn't have to grab quickly-diminishing scholarship money when they are 14 years old. The more time both sides have to get educated about their options and make an informed offer/decision, the better the chance that decision/offer turns out to be successful. And, because I'd like my kids to wait as long as possible to make that decision, it would be better for me if everyone had to wait just as long.

 

[Real Deal]

I don't feel it helps either side to commit early. Colleges would be better off if they didn't extend offers until seeing a more mature athletic body of work. Kids would be better off if they didn't have to grab quickly-diminishing scholarship money when they are 14 years old. The more time both sides have to get educated about their options and make an informed offer/decision, the better the chance that decision/offer turns out to be successful. And, because I'd like my kids to wait as long as possible to make that decision, it would be better for me if everyone had to wait just as long.

No point in really arguing since you probably don't have a kid in high school-- then you would know the pressures they face-- and also that a sophomore is 15/16, not 14. you'd also know that the maturity level, physically and mentally, between a sophomore and a junior is minimal. You'd know that all the testing is junior year and it is an extremely stressful time for kids so not the greatest to be flying around the country for unofficial visits. Finally, you'd realize that, as a parent, the difference between a 25% scholarship and an 80% scholarship is huge, and you'd appreciate that extra year to plan financially when you knew exactly where your kid stood in their sophomore year if you were lucky enough to have that option.

 

[MakeAPlay]

I don't feel it helps either side to commit early. Colleges would be better off if they didn't extend offers until seeing a more mature athletic body of work. Kids would be better off if they didn't have to grab quickly-diminishing scholarship money when they are 14 years old. The more time both sides have to get educated about their options and make an informed offer/decision, the better the chance that decision/offer turns out to be successful. And, because I'd like my kids to wait as long as possible to make that decision, it would be better for me if everyone had to wait just as long.

I feel like my player's situation was different. Both sides were in a first choice situation so nobody was settling. She had opportunities with her 2nd and 3rd choice schools so it wasn't a situation where she had a gun to her head. Committing early gave her current coaches 2 and a half years to direct her development. They had time to prepare her for the programs style of play and it helped her seamlessly transition to the team and the school. Her school had all of the players in her freshman class that weren't either in the Olympics or the 2016 U20 World Cup report in June for summer school and it has benefited all of them academically and athletically. This process isn't a one size fits all situation. There are many roads to Rome. I think that flexibility is key. Good luck to you and your player.

 

[CaliKlines]

Cali - I know you and a few of us old timers here have the Hatfield & McCoy thing going but dude... your flat out wrong....or not?

Actually Zero, you are entitled to your opinion, but basically it is my opinion that you're flat out wrong. (Hopefully you didn't neglect proper grammar when you were busy preparing your kids how to pick a college in 6th grade.)

Cali - I know you and a few of us old timers here have the Hatfield & McCoy thing going but dude... your flat out wrong....or not?

Question....You don't think the discussions a kid hears in the home, between parents/kids/siblings, sets a tone, sets a dream, sets aspirations that can become an ethos towards excellence?

This is just another example of the difference in our views. It may also be the reason why some of the parents on this forum have DD's who are going to Stanford, Princeton and Yale....that process was a mindset, And I am without a doubt, 100% certain it starts WELL before the 9th grade.

To answer your question....yes, the conversations regarding college attendance when a child is growing up are definitely influential. But you seem to mis-understand the mindset of attending college and being able to adequately and knowledgeably understand the criteria to make the decision on which college to attend. Are you advocating that your 12/13/14 year old daughter understood the pros and cons of a large public university vs. small private institution because you had "discussions in your home with siblings"?

College attendance was never a option for my kids, as evidenced by the 529 accounts set up on their first birthday. College was always a priority, and, over the years, many visits were made to our alma maters, and other colleges for sporting events, plays, and other community events. They grew up in that environment, but that in no way made her ready to pick a school in her freshman year of high school. Maybe my kid is just stupid, but I don't think setting a tone/dream/aspiration makes them able to understand the difference between Stanford and Samford.

The discussion/dialogue/pondering ideas start in 8th...7th....6th....hell, when they start to crawl. It starts in the home, From you, from me, and NOT left to the seeing where the cards lay

Remember, you're the one saying to prepare your child in 6th grade to pick a college. My ill prepared daughter was too busy deciding what to watch between Lizzy McGuire or High School Musical...but that is because I'm a bad parent that "chose to see where the cards would fall". Excuse me if I didn't educate my player when she was 12 on the differences between urban/rural campus, geographical settings, majors offered, cultural considerations, and a plethora of other criteria necessary to make an informed college decision. Her decision to commit in early in her 10th grade year followed an accelerated program of campus visits, lists of pros/cons, and hours of reviews of academic majors offered at each institution. She elected to choose a campus that offered the largest catalog of available majors, so that she would have plenty of options when she was old and wise enough to fine tune her education specialty.

I tend to think that Hank has it right, compared to Zero...

And to Zerodenero's point, I'm not saying that a family shouldn't have an academic plan and process that opens as many doors as possible for your kids at the end of high school. And yes, that process starts well before 9th grade but for me, it is a completely separate discussion from recruiting timelines.

Good luck to you and your player!

 

[gkrent]

Even the top fully funded schools don't have the allocated resources to offer official visits to anything other than committed players so changing any of the visitation rules was dumb.

One of my players went on 3 official visits without a commitment.

 

[soccer661]

MAP: "This process isn't a one size fits all situation. There are many roads to Rome. I think that flexibility is key."

VERY true Map-- guys, there is no really right or wrong way to do it-- every kid/parent/family is in a different situation...this hits the nail on the head.
What worked for my kid, may not work for someone else's and vise versa...
Although I absolutely agree with Zero-- start researching sooner rather than later...time goes fast!!