Proper Side Line Etiquette For Soccer Parents?

Help me become the model parent for my kids Club.

After selecting a club out here we received the 8 page player/parent contract for the upcoming season which includes mandating where you sit and what you can and cant say during a game........

My background. 12+ years, Texas High School football coach. (quiet will be new one for me)

How do I leave my coaching tendencies at home and become the ideal parent outlined in the contract?
 
Help me become the model parent for my kids Club.

After selecting a club out here we received the 8 page player/parent contract for the upcoming season which includes mandating where you sit and what you can and cant say during a game........

My background. 12+ years, Texas High School football coach. (quiet will be new one for me)

How do I leave my coaching tendencies at home and become the ideal parent outlined in the contract?
Internal self control. You were once the coach but now someone else has taken the lead. Let them.
 
1: You are there to have fun, watch some (hopefully) fun games and support and cheer on your kid and the team.

2: Accept the fact that you know HS Football, but not soccer so much. Any dolt can see that passing over the top to the speedster will result in a chance to score, but is that what the coach wants? Is that developing the team or just a few players? Maybe the coach wants to see ball movement, possession, switching the field, back passes, etc. You ain't the coach, you are a parent. Don't coach from the sideline because you don't know the game plan.

3: Winning is fun, but winning isn't necessarily the measure of getting your monies worth. Your kid is playing club soccer, so hopefully that means the kid has some talent. The goal (pun intended) is to develop your kids talent to the point that they move to the next level and the next ... keep on developing and maybe a scholarship awaits. Winning is a nice byproduct, but not the measure of success in youth sports, so don't get all riled up about wins and losses ... this isn't Texas HS football where jobs are lost.

4. Quietly laugh, chuckle and make fun of the Dad's and Mom's that think screaming and yelling and complaining about this or that is going to have any impact on the game ... other than seriously annoying the players, coaches, refs, and the other parents.

5. Accept that the Referee is going to make bad calls.

6. Accept that your child will make mistakes.

7. Accept that your child's teammates will make mistakes.

8. After the game, tell them how proud you are of how they played. Focus on what they did right. They know what they did wrong (trust me they know). Let the coach give them the constructive criticism. After the game, take them for a soda and pizza. [P.S. I know you are going to fail on this one, we all do ... I do it every game, but dammit I'm trying my best ... just need the boy to have a clean sheet every game.]

9: Advanced Level Soccer Parenting: Take the Referee courses (free). Go through every single video for the Grade 8 and Grade 7 Referee courses. Learn first hand that refereeing a Soccer games is unlike anything you are used too. Appreciate that Soccer Referee's have wide latitude to "not call" a foul due to advantage or because the foul is "trifling." Seriously, watch the official course materials and answer the questions.
https://www.ussoccer.com/Referees/Resource-Center/Online-Training/Grade-8-Referee-Course.aspx
https://www.ussoccer.com/Referees/Resource-Center/Online-Training/Grade-7-Referee-Course.aspx
 
Also know it's really hard and you will fail sometimes, but you have to keep at it. As a new team, from where we started we are much better now....still have quite a ways to go....it's a process. For me it's especially challenging since (with the oversight of the club goalkeeper's coach who does a Friday academy and every rare while some privates) I'm my son's keeper private trailer, was his former coach at rec, am a licensed coach, and (if the assistant coach is not there) have to do his warm up before the game. As his confidence and skills grow, I'm finding I can let go a little more....I'm now sitting center field instead of on the goalends and am looking forward to the day I can just let everything go. I'm working on it.:oops:
 
1: You are there to have fun, watch some (hopefully) fun games and support and cheer on your kid and the team.

2: Accept the fact that you know HS Football, but not soccer so much. Any dolt can see that passing over the top to the speedster will result in a chance to score, but is that what the coach wants? Is that developing the team or just a few players? Maybe the coach wants to see ball movement, possession, switching the field, back passes, etc. You ain't the coach, you are a parent. Don't coach from the sideline because you don't know the game plan.

3: Winning is fun, but winning isn't necessarily the measure of getting your monies worth. Your kid is playing club soccer, so hopefully that means the kid has some talent. The goal (pun intended) is to develop your kids talent to the point that they move to the next level and the next ... keep on developing and maybe a scholarship awaits. Winning is a nice byproduct, but not the measure of success in youth sports, so don't get all riled up about wins and losses ... this isn't Texas HS football where jobs are lost.

4. Quietly laugh, chuckle and make fun of the Dad's and Mom's that think screaming and yelling and complaining about this or that is going to have any impact on the game ... other than seriously annoying the players, coaches, refs, and the other parents.

5. Accept that the Referee is going to make bad calls.

6. Accept that your child will make mistakes.

7. Accept that your child's teammates will make mistakes.

8. After the game, tell them how proud you are of how they played. Focus on what they did right. They know what they did wrong (trust me they know). Let the coach give them the constructive criticism. After the game, take them for a soda and pizza. [P.S. I know you are going to fail on this one, we all do ... I do it every game, but dammit I'm trying my best ... just need the boy to have a clean sheet every game.]

9: Advanced Level Soccer Parenting: Take the Referee courses (free). Go through every single video for the Grade 8 and Grade 7 Referee courses. Learn first hand that refereeing a Soccer games is unlike anything you are used too. Appreciate that Soccer Referee's have wide latitude to "not call" a foul due to advantage or because the foul is "trifling." Seriously, watch the official course materials and answer the questions.
https://www.ussoccer.com/Referees/Resource-Center/Online-Training/Grade-8-Referee-Course.aspx
https://www.ussoccer.com/Referees/Resource-Center/Online-Training/Grade-7-Referee-Course.aspx
Excellent advice MWN. Something simple and practical until you get the hang of it...

Make a deal with another parent or two (ideally with the same tendencies as you) - $5 every time you guys have an outburst about a ref's call/non-call or if you give ANY instructions to your kids (even simple crap like "pull your socks up"). 'Atta-boys' for hard work or good play are completely acceptable. Anything else will cost you $5. Tally it at the end of every game. Biggest mouth pays up. You will be checking each other constantly to catch the other in the act. Sounds silly, but it works.

After a while you probably will settle right in to the proper culture your club is setting and realize that your kid actually plays better and more freely without your voice chiming in from the sideline. Won't need the $5 rule for ever.
 
Help me become the model parent for my kids Club.

How do I leave my coaching tendencies at home and become the ideal parent outlined in the contract?

I haven't seen your soccer contract, but I know what it says. Don't question the decisions of the coach, assistant coach, team parent, other parents, or their analogues on other teams. Don't question the decisions of any referee or assistant referee. Show only positive emotions from the moment you get into the car to drive your beloved son or daughter to practice or a game. Thoughtful, critical analysis will not be tolerated by your club. If your team is awful it is because it is "developing." If another team is always winning, it is because the coach is immoral and taking "shortcuts." The only thing your club wants to hear from you is that your wallet is freely accessible.

If you are passionate about soccer, or if you are passionate about your son or daughter, then you have no chance of complying with these terms. I would find another club; one that is not so controlling. Find one that lets Moms be Moms and Dads be Dads, within certain boundaries of limited craziness. But - if you must stay with that club - then the only way to both contractually perform and maintain sanity is to stop caring. Go straight to apathy and do not pass Go.
 
At our club, the rule of thumb is that parents shouldn't shout any verbs to the players during games. Seems to work pretty well (when followed).
 
At our club, the rule of thumb is that parents shouldn't shout any verbs to the players during games. Seems to work pretty well (when followed).

Not to over lawyer the thing, but that rule wouldn't take care of reprimanding your own side ("bad move Johnny!" but it does cover "come on Johnny!") or heckling the other side ("you suck!") or insulting the ref (though I guess it does cover "are you blind ref?"). :p I'm assuming too there would be an exception for if your kid starts fighting or dirty play ("stop it Johnny!"....since this just came up in the other thread) or for questions such as "are you injured...are you o.k."? At least it gets rid of the "shoot!"...the most ridiculous command ever. o_O
 
Take a bag of lollipops to the game. Whenever you find yourself speaking out of turn, stick one in your mouth. Offer the same service to other parents.
 
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Just remember one thing and you should be fine: no sideline coaching

sideline_large.png
 
Everybody has been brainwashed on this forum by club soccer PC dogma. No wonder coaches and doc's get away with murder. It's simple don't talk to another kid, be nice to the AR, don't sit on chalk lines and be cool. Other than that say, sit, stand whatever you want. 8 page player parent contract. Give me a break.
 
Dogma that isn't reciprocated towards parents. Best advice headphones.
There is a thread here that posted an 05 video. I watched about five minute of it and everything that any parent said "great ball", "unlucky", nice work was actually a horrible ball, bad touch, and no work rate. I agree with the refs that it's alarming how little parents know
 
Have your attorney read it before signing. 8 pages is about 7 pages too many. My kids like it when we the only time we cheer is for a good play or a goal. Easier said than done but that's really about it.
 
Help me become the model parent for my kids Club.

After selecting a club out here we received the 8 page player/parent contract for the upcoming season which includes mandating where you sit and what you can and cant say during a game........

My background. 12+ years, Texas High School football coach. (quiet will be new one for me)

How do I leave my coaching tendencies at home and become the ideal parent outlined in the contract?
Be rational, but dont become a lemming.
 
Excellent advice MWN. Something simple and practical until you get the hang of it...

Make a deal with another parent or two (ideally with the same tendencies as you) - $5 every time you guys have an outburst about a ref's call/non-call or if you give ANY instructions to your kids (even simple crap like "pull your socks up"). 'Atta-boys' for hard work or good play are completely acceptable. Anything else will cost you $5. Tally it at the end of every game. Biggest mouth pays up. You will be checking each other constantly to catch the other in the act. Sounds silly, but it works.

After a while you probably will settle right in to the proper culture your club is setting and realize that your kid actually plays better and more freely without your voice chiming in from the sideline. Won't need the $5 rule for ever.
This will never work. Each parent will owe the other $500 and will break even each game. They will still be foolish, ignorant a-holes.
 
[QUOTE="Chalklines, post: 115190, member
My background. 12+ years, Texas High School football coach. (quiet will be new one for me)[/QUOTE]

Ex-football coach from TEXAS! Brother, you got no shot. Just kick yourself out and watch from the parking lot.
 
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