ECNL vs. DA turf war has created a 'toxic environment'

[Dummy]

@Ellejustus You have lots of people giving you mad love. You should just chill and enjoy the ride. Soon enough you will be where I am at which is close to the end. My kid is not a kid anymore (she turned 21 at the end of May) and she is studying for the LSAT and deciding whether she wants to play in England, France, Spain, Germany or the NWSL. The days of driving her to practice and tournaments are over. No more making sure all of her stuff is in her soccer bag. No more talking on the way to the game about who they are going to play and what I know about them. Now they have professional scouting reports on opponents and have seen hours of game film on them. Enjoy the journey because truth be told it really is about the journey and not the destination. Remember no matter how good a player is it can all be taken away in an instant. Not to mention unless they are that one or two players per birth year that are going to make the full WNT then this is a labor of love that better include a plan "B" that is really your plan "A."


Good luck to you and your player.

Thank you for sharing your family’s experiences the way that you do. Most of us are trying to figure out where are daughters fit into the whole scheme of things, and your openness is helpful in putting our experiences into context.

I know that everyone thinks that they want their daughter to be recruited, but I am not convinced that leaving fate to the college coaches is best for most players. My daughter is a wonderful player could never be as athletic as yours no matter what she did, so she was not going to be recruited at UCLA’s and Stanford’s. The coach at MIT told her that players at MIT recruit themselves to MIT, which means something very specific at MIT. As we visited other schools, we realized that players there often recruit themselves too, which means different things at different places. One of her very athletic friends won a National Championship with Florida State because she recruited herself onto the scout team (she played less than 45-minutes game time for the entire season and loved her experience).

You are right - having and helping a player formulate a realistic “plan A” is something that soccer parent owes his or her player.

Thank you again for your willingness to share your family’s experiences.

 

[Ellejustus]

@Ellejustus You have lots of people giving you mad love. You should just chill and enjoy the ride. Soon enough you will be where I am at which is close to the end. My kid is not a kid anymore (she turned 21 at the end of May) and she is studying for the LSAT and deciding whether she wants to play in England, France, Spain, Germany or the NWSL. The days of driving her to practice and tournaments are over. No more making sure all of her stuff is in her soccer bag. No more talking on the way to the game about who they are going to play and what I know about them. Now they have professional scouting reports on opponents and have seen hours of game film on them. Enjoy the journey because truth be told it really is about the journey and not the destination. Remember no matter how good a player is it can all be taken away in an instant. Not to mention unless they are that one or two players per birth year that are going to make the full WNT then this is a labor of love that better include a plan "B" that is really your plan "A."


Good luck to you and your player.

Thanks, that's a cool story for you guys. I'm only shedding light on US Soccer making it a lot tougher for kids.

 

[MakeAPlay]

Thanks, that's a cool story for you guys. I'm only shedding light on US Soccer making it a lot tougher for kids.

I wish that I could trade places with you if only to enjoy the countless hours that you still get to spend with your daughter under your roof. Summer always reminds me of how it used to be. Don’t get caught up in the chaos around you. Just enjoy your player’s labor of love and the fact that you get to share it with her. Trust me you won’t care about the scores or the championships or even the destination as much as she will enjoy that you were taking it with her.

Good luck to you and your player.

 

[MakeAPlay]

Thank you for sharing your family’s experiences the way that you do. Most of us are trying to figure out where are daughters fit into the whole scheme of things, and your openness is helpful in putting our experiences into context.

I know that everyone thinks that they want their daughter to be recruited, but I am not convinced that leaving fate to the college coaches is best for most players. My daughter is a wonderful player could never be as athletic as yours no matter what she did, so she was not going to be recruited at UCLA’s and Stanford’s. The coach at MIT told her that players at MIT recruit themselves to MIT, which means something very specific at MIT. As we visited other schools, we realized that players there often recruit themselves too, which means different things at different places. One of her very athletic friends won a National Championship with Florida State because she recruited herself onto the scout team (she played less than 45-minutes game time for the entire season and loved her experience).

You are right - having and helping a player formulate a realistic “plan A” is something that soccer parent owes his or her player.

Thank you again for your willingness to share your family’s experiences.

Thanks for the kind words and your player picking such an amazing school is a testament to her hard work on and off the field.

Good luck to you and your player.

 

[MakeAPlay]

Thanks, that's a cool story for you guys. I'm only shedding light on US Soccer making it a lot tougher for kids.

Oh yeah and US Soccer sucks. I still have to cheer for the USA. We aren’t perfect but we could be in Somalia or worse Palestine.

 

[beachbum]

Kicker, she's going to play hard for two years and wait for the call. Will it come or does she have to go through a middle man? We shall see but I want the middle man out of this circus. If they don't by her SR year and she wants to play in college, I will hire someone to put a video together and send it out.

My two cents. If your daughter even thinks that she may want to play in college, you are going to have to put some work in now. It's as simple as consistently writing to schools that she may want to attend for soccer or not. You can get all of the coach's emails by searching "athletic directory college(UCLA)", then send a introduction letter letting them know that you are interested in their school/program and just starting the process. Then follow up with them on a fairly regular basis with updates on game times/ tournament/showcase game times etc. If you wait unless she is that unicorn, generally they will not come knocking. They want love just like you want your DD to be loved by them.

 

[Ellejustus]

My two cents. If your daughter even thinks that she may want to play in college, you are going to have to put some work in now. It's as simple as consistently writing to schools that she may want to attend for soccer or not. You can get all of the coach's emails by searching "athletic directory college(UCLA)", then send a introduction letter letting them know that you are interested in their school/program and just starting the process. Then follow up with them on a fairly regular basis with updates on game times/ tournament/showcase game times etc. If you wait unless she is that unicorn, generally they will not come knocking. They want love just like you want your DD to be loved by them.

This past season was a quick "Hi" at the Id Camp and then a few quick phone calls with your future coach that might not be there in 5 years. If you found your dream school in 8th grade and you don't care who da coach will be, you sign up as fast as you can. If you think 7th, 8th and 9th graders are ready for that pressure then u cray cray!!!. This was done way to fast and it was wrong and I don't think this is over yet. If you are the Purple Unicorn I'm sure someone will get to you in 6th grade. I can't wait when June 15th 2020 comes. I promise you this. My dd will not email one coach. She will visit some schools her Jr year and then she will email da coaches. If coaches don't respond then we can talk about JC because she wants to play by da beach. Understand??? I'm not looking at any D1, D2 or NAIA to "pop" around her practices right now. I realized when I told a group of parents a year ago that you don't have to go to college to be successful that I was in the minority. It's like I spoke ill towards the Pope or something. Mike Rowe, we need help here bro. It's a two way date. Dating is good. Divorce is not. Don't say "I do" 4 years before the commitment starts. 2 or 1 year might be a little better. Slow down everyone. Whats the rush????

 

[MakeAPlay]

This past season was a quick "Hi" at the Id Camp and then a few quick phone calls with your future coach that might not be there in 5 years. If you found your dream school in 8th grade and you don't care who da coach will be, you sign up as fast as you can. If you think 7th, 8th and 9th graders are ready for that pressure then u cray cray!!!. This was done way to fast and it was wrong and I don't think this is over yet. If you are the Purple Unicorn I'm sure someone will get to you in 6th grade. I can't wait when June 15th 2020 comes. I promise you this. My dd will not email one coach. She will visit some schools her Jr year and then she will email da coaches. If coaches don't respond then we can talk about JC because she wants to play by da beach. Understand??? I'm not looking at any D1, D2 or NAIA to "pop" around her practices right now. I realized when I told a group of parents a year ago that you don't have to go to college to be successful that I was in the minority. It's like I spoke ill towards the Pope or something. Mike Rowe, we need help here bro. It's a two way date. Dating is good. Divorce is not. Don't say "I do" 4 years before the commitment starts. 2 or 1 year might be a little better. Slow down everyone. Whats the rush????

Sometimes you just know that it is right. When I met my spouse I was at a party and my spouse was so amazing and special that I ditched my friend that I came to the party with and let him know that I was going home with her and her friends.

Sometimes it is just right!

Good luck to you and your player.

 

[Ellejustus]

Sometimes you just know that it is right. When I met my spouse I was at a party and my spouse was so amazing and special that I ditched my friend that I came to the party with and let him know that I was going home with her and her friends.

Sometimes it is just right!

Good luck to you and your player.

Sometimes MAP. But when the divorce rate is 80% then we have a problem. You r one smart dude too. You pick right a lot. Glad for ya. I met my wife and it was love at first site. However, I did take my time before I got on my knees. Dating is good Speed dating is coming June 15th, 2020.

 

[SD_Soccer]

This past season was a quick "Hi" at the Id Camp and then a few quick phone calls with your future coach that might not be there in 5 years. If you found your dream school in 8th grade and you don't care who da coach will be, you sign up as fast as you can. If you think 7th, 8th and 9th graders are ready for that pressure then u cray cray!!!. This was done way to fast and it was wrong and I don't think this is over yet. If you are the Purple Unicorn I'm sure someone will get to you in 6th grade. I can't wait when June 15th 2020 comes. I promise you this. My dd will not email one coach. She will visit some schools her Jr year and then she will email da coaches. If coaches don't respond then we can talk about JC because she wants to play by da beach. Understand??? I'm not looking at any D1, D2 or NAIA to "pop" around her practices right now. I realized when I told a group of parents a year ago that you don't have to go to college to be successful that I was in the minority. It's like I spoke ill towards the Pope or something. Mike Rowe, we need help here bro. It's a two way date. Dating is good. Divorce is not. Don't say "I do" 4 years before the commitment starts. 2 or 1 year might be a little better. Slow down everyone. Whats the rush????

So if she knows she wants to play by the beach (and if that is more important than how good the team is), why not reach out to the coaches of the schools that meet that criteria (e.g., Santa Barbara)? You are getting a lot of very good advice from a lot of people who have been through the process. What harm is there in reaching out to the limited number of universities that meet the criteria (I assume you mean California university near the beach)? It is not that long a list to send out a few emails and show she is interested in them. Money available will likely diminish if you wait too long. Does not mean she has to commit earlier than you prefer-- if they really want her, they will wait and not take the offer back. But if you don't have the offer, it is less likely money will be there to get the offer you may get now (or soon) when you feel she is ready to make a decision on where to attend. And if you get an offer, you can use that as leverage to try to get more money from other schools. Very few players (CM at Stanford) can wait for schools to find them and expect to get as much money as they may like. For the rest, it takes a bit of effort to maximize the outcome (right school, most money).

 

[Ellejustus]

So if she knows she wants to play by the beach (and if that is more important than how good the team is), why not reach out to the coaches of the schools that meet that criteria (e.g., Santa Barbara)? You are getting a lot of very good advice from a lot of people who have been through the process. What harm is there in reaching out to the limited number of universities that meet the criteria (I assume you mean California university near the beach)? It is not that long a list to send out a few emails and show she is interested in them. Money available will likely diminish if you wait too long. Does not mean she has to commit earlier than you prefer-- if they really want her, they will wait and not take the offer back. But if you don't have the offer, it is less likely money will be there to get the offer you may get now (or soon) when you feel she is ready to make a decision on where to attend. And if you get an offer, you can use that as leverage to try to get more money from other schools. Very few players (CM at Stanford) can wait for schools to find them and expect to get as much money as they may like. For the rest, it takes a bit of effort to maximize the outcome (right school, most money).

Nevermind......

 

[Ellejustus]

So if she knows she wants to play by the beach (and if that is more important than how good the team is), why not reach out to the coaches of the schools that meet that criteria (e.g., Santa Barbara)? You are getting a lot of very good advice from a lot of people who have been through the process. What harm is there in reaching out to the limited number of universities that meet the criteria (I assume you mean California university near the beach)? It is not that long a list to send out a few emails and show she is interested in them. Money available will likely diminish if you wait too long. Does not mean she has to commit earlier than you prefer-- if they really want her, they will wait and not take the offer back. But if you don't have the offer, it is less likely money will be there to get the offer you may get now (or soon) when you feel she is ready to make a decision on where to attend. And if you get an offer, you can use that as leverage to try to get more money from other schools. Very few players (CM at Stanford) can wait for schools to find them and expect to get as much money as they may like. For the rest, it takes a bit of effort to maximize the outcome (right school, most money).

We want big football power by beach only for right now. 2 years to decide, no? Is that possible? I'm willing to pay for books, 99% tuition and stay away from the practices. Just need some help to get in the door. Soccer does that, no? Trying hard to make da list too but getting harder and harder these days. Need to be on da list Help Help, how do non da players make da list......anyone, please, anyone help. $$$$ are all gone. Please, I'm losing my marbles, please, quick quick

 

[MakeAPlay]

Sometimes MAP. But when the divorce rate is 80% then we have a problem. You r one smart dude too. You pick right a lot. Glad for ya. I met my wife and it was love at first site. However, I did take my time before I got on my knees. Dating is good Speed dating is coming June 15th, 2020.

The divorce rate isn't nearly that high for D1. Most kids are pretty happy with their decision especially when it is done pragmatically. Even my kid, who has two parents that are athletic alums of her current school, had to go through the process and she almost chose Stanford! She took a trip to all three of her choices and settled on her current one after some deliberation. Her current school was the first that she contacted but the last to make an offer. I am on my second marriage so I make my fair share of mistakes. One of my player's old teammates was a late add to the recruiting class. She got noticed late spring of her junior year of high school when she was playing against a player that was already committed to the team. She got an offer and committed. Initially she wasn't getting much money (I know because she told my player) but after her second year as a starter (she started most of the games her freshman year) she earned a significant bump in money and was even a top NWSL draft pick. Just pick the school first, not the coach nor the soccer program and everything else will work itself out.

Good luck to you and your player.

 

[MakeAPlay]

So if she knows she wants to play by the beach (and if that is more important than how good the team is), why not reach out to the coaches of the schools that meet that criteria (e.g., Santa Barbara)? You are getting a lot of very good advice from a lot of people who have been through the process. What harm is there in reaching out to the limited number of universities that meet the criteria (I assume you mean California university near the beach)? It is not that long a list to send out a few emails and show she is interested in them. Money available will likely diminish if you wait too long. Does not mean she has to commit earlier than you prefer-- if they really want her, they will wait and not take the offer back. But if you don't have the offer, it is less likely money will be there to get the offer you may get now (or soon) when you feel she is ready to make a decision on where to attend. And if you get an offer, you can use that as leverage to try to get more money from other schools. Very few players (CM at Stanford) can wait for schools to find them and expect to get as much money as they may like. For the rest, it takes a bit of effort to maximize the outcome (right school, most money).

Catarina didn't wait. She had her deal with Stanford locked up but was waiting until she got her acceptance letter to announce it. As soon as her old coach Chris Lemay left Cal their 2017 recruiting class fell apart. She only considered two other schools. Even Mallory Pugh committed as a sophomore.

 

[Ellejustus]

Catarina didn't wait. She had her deal with Stanford locked up but was waiting until she got her acceptance letter to announce it. As soon as her old coach Chris Lemay left Cal their 2017 recruiting class fell apart. She only considered two other schools. Even Mallory Pugh committed as a sophomore.

The only one I heard of is MP. I'm not looking for college MAP right now and neither is my kid. She wants to play, play, play, play soccer, soccer, soccer, soccer without interruptions and yes, play HS Soccer too. You think one of the big schools might have a few bucks when my dd is a JR/SR? How about just a spot on the roster and I''ll pay for it? I'm seriously asking because I have no clue.

 

[Ellejustus]

The only one I heard of is MP. I'm not looking for college MAP right now and neither is my kid. She wants to play, play, play, play soccer, soccer, soccer, soccer without interruptions and yes, play HS Soccer too. You think one of the big schools might have a few bucks when my dd is a JR/SR? How about just a spot on the roster and I''ll pay for it? I'm seriously asking because I have no clue.

If of course she's still balling hard and doing well with grades and soccer

 

[dk_b]

If of course she's still balling hard and doing well with grades and soccer

Unless colleges are going to make a clear decision to circumvent the new rules, there will be $$$ available for strong players. The pace of recruitment may change - an early land rush - but I am of the firm belief that this will be better for players/parents/schools/coaches alike. I said upthread that I am confident that my kid's choice is the right one for her but I would have been happy if the new rules were in place when she went through the process.

The player who does not benefit? The player who might have looked amazing at 14yo, would have received an early offer only to have peaked at 14 or 15 or 16 but did not get the offer pulled and still was able to sign an LOI. That school may have "overpaid" for that 14yo but she gets a subsidized education. There will be fewer players like that.

 

[Ellejustus]

Unless colleges are going to make a clear decision to circumvent the new rules, there will be $$$ available for strong players. The pace of recruitment may change - an early land rush - but I am of the firm belief that this will be better for players/parents/schools/coaches alike. I said upthread that I am confident that my kid's choice is the right one for her but I would have been happy if the new rules were in place when she went through the process.

The player who does not benefit? The player who might have looked amazing at 14yo, would have received an early offer only to have peaked at 14 or 15 or 16 but did not get the offer pulled and still was able to sign an LOI. That school may have "overpaid" for that 14yo but she gets a subsidized education. There will be fewer players like that.

Dude, thank you, thank you thank and thank you. That's what I was looking for. My dd is confident she will get better even if she doesn't PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE 4 days a week with hopes of YNT or pro contract. As long as she is playing, playing, playing and playing she will get better, better, better and better. She grow 6 inches since 7th grade. Still has speed and quickness but others have caught up to her. She used to be the fastest on her U9 team......bummer.........but she didn't lose her speed either. I've seen parents spend $$$$$$ to get faster kid but still slow. Why not work? Physics? Speed coach promised faster but not faster.........

 

[MWN]

I hate to dredge this up, but in 2017 the NCAA Research department did a study of early recruiting (http://www.ncaa.org/sites/default/files/2017DIRes_DISAACEarlyRecruitingSurvey_(Oct2017)_FINAL_20171013.pdf)

Here are the results regarding verbal offers for women's sports. Only 3% of athletes at the 9th grade age or younger were given verbal commitment's for a scholarship. 29% where in 10th grade, 55% were in 11th grade and 9% were 12 graders.

This is not a problem that some may perceive it is.

 

[Ellejustus]

The divorce rate isn't nearly that high for D1. Most kids are pretty happy with their decision especially when it is done pragmatically. Even my kid, who has two parents that are athletic alums of her current school, had to go through the process and she almost chose Stanford! She took a trip to all three of her choices and settled on her current one after some deliberation. Her current school was the first that she contacted but the last to make an offer. I am on my second marriage so I make my fair share of mistakes. One of my player's old teammates was a late add to the recruiting class. She got noticed late spring of her junior year of high school when she was playing against a player that was already committed to the team. She got an offer and committed. Initially she wasn't getting much money (I know because she told my player) but after her second year as a starter (she started most of the games her freshman year) she earned a significant bump in money and was even a top NWSL draft pick. Just pick the school first, not the coach nor the soccer program and everything else will work itself out.

Good luck to you and your player.

I think the % rate is better for the Unicorn Players at Unicorn U MAP. So if we take the top studs out, then it might look like 85% divorce rate. Those kids tend to know what they want by 8th grade and Unicorn U are masters at finding 7th grade talent and who will be great academic achievers as well. The other slow learners need more time to process all this shit. It's confusing for us. How many D1 schools now? I'm telling you folks in SoCal are getting sold "scholarship" and thinking all paid in full. This is right around 7th grade. College night for 7th graders. Once they realize the truth in 9th grade, the pressure comes. UCSB, sign sign sign. Again, I love the Gauchos. No disrespect to them at all but it's not big time soccer and NO football. Gotta have football if you want to have fun in college. Take it or leave it playa!!!! It's liking the one girl, but being told no and told to take this one. Trust me, she's been looking for someone like you.............. desperately.......oh joy, I can feel the love