Can a parent file a grievance against SoCal Soccer League?

T

TeleJimenez

BRONZE
SoCal Soccer League banned a team from their league for one spectator's action. The club president refuses to share the email from the league addressing the ban. The league's policy is never to have contact with parents. I need to know if my child is actually banned, banned for the season, or banned for life.
 
TeleJimenez said:
SoCal Soccer League banned a team from their league for one spectator's action. The club president refuses to share the email from the league addressing the ban. The league's policy is never to have contact with parents. I need to know if my child is actually banned, banned for the season, or banned for life.
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What club?
 
RandomSoccerFan said:
Seems like a perfectly reasonable question. Here's the contact page with 6 emails for SoCal Soccer League. If it were me, I'd certainly ask.

www.socalsoccerleague.org

Contact Us | SOCAL Soccer League

www.socalsoccerleague.org www.socalsoccerleague.org
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Already contacted the emails on their pages. NO response. When I contacted them, the club owner would call me to ask about it. Their policy is to never deal directly with parents.
espola said:
You need a new club president.
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As for the club president, his is the owner as well, so, that will never change.
 
Well, you're likely to have more information about the club than someone would be able to find online. But it looks like they only have younger teams, so it's likely your player is quite young. It also sounds like the team is gone for the season. So the kid - if they are going to play club again - will need a new team. Seems that the DOC of the new club would either be able to register the kid and get their card from the club, or your current club president could try and stonewall them. Odds are the new DOC would get a straight answer from the league, and you'd have a path forward - likely a new player card with the new team.
 
TeleJimenez said:
SoCal Soccer League banned a team from their league for one spectator's action. The club president refuses to share the email from the league addressing the ban. The league's policy is never to have contact with parents. I need to know if my child is actually banned, banned for the season, or banned for life.
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I’m sorry you & your child are having to deal with this. It’s unfortunate in youth sports people don’t keep in mind they are dealing with kids.

The club president should be transparent about the situation unless there is something they are hiding. Maybe not just the one incident? If you don’t have the details it will be hard to dispute. How very frustrating.

Might be in the best interest to have your child released & find him/her a better environment.

good luck to you
 
soccermax2 said:
I’m sorry you & your child are having to deal with this. It’s unfortunate in youth sports people don’t keep in mind they are dealing with kids.

The club president should be transparent about the situation unless there is something they are hiding. Maybe not just the one incident? If you don’t have the details it will be hard to dispute. How very frustrating.

Might be in the best interest to have your child released & find him/her a better environment.

good luck to you
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The no tolerance rules specify a team will be put on probation for the second offense and banned for the third, so having a hard time figuring out how the actions of 1 spectator would go from 0-100 based on 1 incident unless the coach refused to remove them and/or participated, other parents joined in for multiple suspensions, or there were multiple preexisting offenses. Even the 2 teams resulting in the game being forfeited rule, in addition to the fine, provides "any further issues" will result in the team being dropped from the league.
 
Yep - it's hard to understand or give applicable advice without knowing some more of the underlying details. One of our teams was booted from state cup for a year after just one incident, albeit serious, when "allegedly" drunken parents on the opposing team continued to escalate verbal harassment, until the game boiled over as well - with fistfights between players, and parents from both teams storming the field. Rather than any investigation where relative fault would be assessed, zero tolerance meant both teams were booted from state cup for a year, both coaches were sanctioned, etc.
 
TeleJimenez said:
Already contacted the emails on their pages. NO response. When I contacted them, the club owner would call me to ask about it.
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Probably wouldn't help in this situation, but if you use a mailserver that has tracking, you will be able to get insight from most of your sent mail on when each recipient opens it to read it, how many times, etc. If their mail client or mailserver are blocking the tracking pixels, you won't get any notification - but if you do get that notification, it's a pretty good bet that they opened your email. It's a good way to figure out which emails are actually useful and getting read, and which are more likely being ignored. One free service like this is smtp2go.com. There are others. You can still continue to use any mailserver or client you'd like (including gmail), just point the outgoing mailserver for your sent mail to a service like this.
 
Grace T. said:
The no tolerance rules specify a team will be put on probation for the second offense and banned for the third, so having a hard time figuring out how the actions of 1 spectator would go from 0-100 based on 1 incident unless the coach refused to remove them and/or participated, other parents joined in for multiple suspensions, or there were multiple preexisting offenses. Even the 2 teams resulting in the game being forfeited rule, in addition to the fine, provides "any further issues" will result in the team being dropped from the league.
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It was our teams 1st offense. There was 2 persons involved, but only one ended up attacking the ref. Parent 1 rushed in to the field to see if his kid was ok and began to yell at the ref after the last play of the game. The kid was kicked in rib cage and fell to the floor, and was on the floor for a while with no foul called. The ref escalated the incident and started getting in the front of the Parent 1's face. A lot of persons tried to break it up. Spectator 1 came around and kicked a different ref on the leg. We were all in disbelief.
 
RandomSoccerFan said:
Yep - it's hard to understand or give applicable advice without knowing some more of the underlying details. One of our teams was booted from state cup for a year after just one incident, albeit serious, when "allegedly" drunken parents on the opposing team continued to escalate verbal harassment, until the game boiled over as well - with fistfights between players, and parents from both teams storming the field. Rather than any investigation where relative fault would be assessed, zero tolerance meant both teams were booted from state cup for a year, both coaches were sanctioned, etc.
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It's difficult in many ways. In one of the games of the same season (Fall 2023), an opposing team yelled multiple racial slurs at our kids team. It got heated. We are (were) a team of predominantly latino heritage. I reported it to the SoCal League and their response was that the club needed to address it with them not me. The club owner didn't do anything. The director of the club was kind address it with us, but not much can be done. There should also be zero tolerance for racism in the SoCal Soccer League.
 
TeleJimenez said:
It was our teams 1st offense. There was 2 persons involved, but only one ended up attacking the ref. Parent 1 rushed in to the field to see if his kid was ok and began to yell at the ref after the last play of the game. The kid was kicked in rib cage and fell to the floor, and was on the floor for a while with no foul called. The ref escalated the incident and started getting in the front of the Parent 1's face. A lot of persons tried to break it up. Spectator 1 came around and kicked a different ref on the leg. We were all in disbelief.
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I like when you said "but only one ended up attacking the ref"

Wow 🤦‍♂️
 
TeleJimenez said:
It was our teams 1st offense. There was 2 persons involved, but only one ended up attacking the ref. Parent 1 rushed in to the field to see if his kid was ok and began to yell at the ref after the last play of the game. The kid was kicked in rib cage and fell to the floor, and was on the floor for a while with no foul called. The ref escalated the incident and started getting in the front of the Parent 1's face. A lot of persons tried to break it up. Spectator 1 came around and kicked a different ref on the leg. We were all in disbelief.
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Oh wow! That makes sense. Socal handbook rules, any physical altercation, cussing, intimidation etc. of a ref is a zero tolerance. Only needs to happen once then you are booted. The parent who actually hit the ref will get a lifetime ban which is sad for the child.

Socal also does not communicate with parents, all has to go through club administration. I wouldn’t hold my breath for any reply. It’s all in their handbook.

Best bet is to move your child to another club. So sorry 2 parents ruined it for the whole team. That sucks!
 
It's easier to recommend what could happen and what should happen when we're not in the middle of a charged situation. But from your post - it seems completely legit that both teams are booted for the season. If the league doesn't care particularly for a small club that has teams with spectators that behave this way, it's reason enough for the league to decide to boot not only one team, but more/all from that small club. Your team is not alone - reading the PAD notes are interesting from time to time, and every month there is a discussion of a variety of incidents that continue to happen, and I can understand why it's more expedient to have relatively heavy-handed rules rather than trying to deal with each situation on its own merits.

So first off - parents should never, ever, ever, enter the field of play and challenge a ref - no matter how egregious the call or the behavior they are reacting to. It's grounds for the parent to be banned for the season (or longer), and it reflects badly on the coach that they don't have control of their own team. Especially if there is some type of confrontation between players - there is literally nothing any parent can do that would help if they stand up and cross the sideline. A few weeks after one of our teams was banned, I was on the sideline at another team's game. U16 boys, more testosterone than brains occasionally, and a particularly physical game escalated to pushing, shoving, and eventually punches thrown - with multiple boys from both teams involved. Some of the parents got up and started to run towards the melee, but me shouting "****club name**** PARENTS! DO NOT ENTER THE FIELD!" was enough to get them to think for a moment, and return back to the sideline. The other team's parents also heard, and also decided not to join the fray. Probably because at that point it would be clear that they would look badly, but for whatever reason - it worked. The fight ended, eventually the game continued, and for better or worse - the ref didn't even bother to send in the report (I believe there were 2 red cards given on boys on each side). In your case - if the spectator actually struck the ref, I hope that the ref pressed charges and the spectator will be living with the consequences for many years.

I hope your kid finds a new team, and I hope that all the people involved with the new organization are more cognizant of their behavior and actions.
 
RandomSoccerFan said:
It's easier to recommend what could happen and what should happen when we're not in the middle of a charged situation. But from your post - it seems completely legit that both teams are booted for the season. If the league doesn't care particularly for a small club that has teams with spectators that behave this way, it's reason enough for the league to decide to boot not only one team, but more/all from that small club. Your team is not alone - reading the PAD notes are interesting from time to time, and every month there is a discussion of a variety of incidents that continue to happen, and I can understand why it's more expedient to have relatively heavy-handed rules rather than trying to deal with each situation on its own merits.

So first off - parents should never, ever, ever, enter the field of play and challenge a ref - no matter how egregious the call or the behavior they are reacting to. It's grounds for the parent to be banned for the season (or longer), and it reflects badly on the coach that they don't have control of their own team. Especially if there is some type of confrontation between players - there is literally nothing any parent can do that would help if they stand up and cross the sideline. A few weeks after one of our teams was banned, I was on the sideline at another team's game. U16 boys, more testosterone than brains occasionally, and a particularly physical game escalated to pushing, shoving, and eventually punches thrown - with multiple boys from both teams involved. Some of the parents got up and started to run towards the melee, but me shouting "****club name**** PARENTS! DO NOT ENTER THE FIELD!" was enough to get them to think for a moment, and return back to the sideline. The other team's parents also heard, and also decided not to join the fray. Probably because at that point it would be clear that they would look badly, but for whatever reason - it worked. The fight ended, eventually the game continued, and for better or worse - the ref didn't even bother to send in the report (I believe there were 2 red cards given on boys on each side). In your case - if the spectator actually struck the ref, I hope that the ref pressed charges and the spectator will be living with the consequences for many years.

I hope your kid finds a new team, and I hope that all the people involved with the new organization are more cognizant of their behavior and actions.
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a. It's harder for the littles and middle schools parents not to intervene. Kids are still small and parents feel the need to protect there kids.
b. When my kid was U14, he got hit with the same foul. An aerial challenge for the ball. Striker raises his foot to 90 and kicks him studs up in the neck when he is going to punch the ball. Ref not only didn't card, didn't call the foul, but let the goal stand. It's why I stopped going to important games.
c. The racism, at least in the Val, is out of control. I've seen several African American kids called the n word, and several latino kids called out racially. Refs don't do anything, sometimes claiming they didn't hear. One time, the other side (mostly whites and Asians) was constantly attacking and intimidating the African American kid on my kid's U-little squad. Kid was in tears by the half....they benched him for his own protection but it shouldn't come to that.
d. It doesn't surprise me the refs don't do anything. My kid was very recently threatened to be jumped upon by an opposing team in his league in the parking lot, the ref totally heard the threat, didn't do anything. He had to be escorted by security to the car (though he and his teammates instincts were to just meet them in the parking lot...coach would have none of it...fighting in uniform will get the team suspended). But yes, we should have zero tolerance for racism and threats of violence.
e. From the report, it sounds like either multiple suspensions were issued (which would take it right to the nuclear option) or the game was forfeited plus there was some kind of charge filed (which would also take it to the nuclear option)
 
The racism on the field in the NorCal area is pretty wild as well. If there was such a thing as equal-opportunity racism, I guess if there is any good news, it's that almost all kids here get to experience it. Kids from various teams have been anti-black, anti-asian, anti-hispanic, anti-white, and just about any other anti-something if they think they will get a rise from the opposing team. It's a rare team here that isn't significantly populated by POC's, which one would think would improve things - but trash-talk is apparently pretty ingrained. For what it's worth, football is in our experience even worse in this aspect.
 
RandomSoccerFan said:
The racism on the field in the NorCal area is pretty wild as well. If there was such a thing as equal-opportunity racism, I guess if there is any good news, it's that almost all kids here get to experience it. Kids from various teams have been anti-black, anti-asian, anti-hispanic, anti-white, and just about any other anti-something if they think they will get a rise from the opposing team. It's a rare team here that isn't significantly populated by POC's, which one would think would improve things - but trash-talk is apparently pretty ingrained. For what it's worth, football is in our experience even worse in this aspect.
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I don't want to say the city because people will immediately know where I'm talking about. I remember one year our football coach setup a scrimmage with one of the inercity teams. We didn't think that much of it because our team was accustomed to the general norms of what you'd generally see in a suburban game.

As we bussed into the "football field" it was quickly assessed that intercity standards for watering fields was not the same as the suburbs. The field was 80% mud and the night before was below zero so the mud turned into hard jagged edge razors that would cut whatever clothing or flesh it came in contact with.

As the game game went on it became obvious that the intercity team had no game plan and their only offense was hand off to the fast kid or throw a long bomb. Our coach countered with a prevent defense and after the game was over. I played defensive end and I remember the tight end kept telling me jokes at the line. Several were so funny that I complely gave up on my coverage.

This is where it got interesting...

After the game was over we had won but you could see the other team and their parents grouping up. It also became apparent that the black kids and their parents weren't happy that they were beat by a suburban team. So as we're walking out to the bus suddenly we hear a a rock fly by us. Within 30 seconds there were 10-20 rocks flying through the air. I looked back and it was not only the team we beat but the parents were throwing rocks at us as well!

Once the coaches realized what was going on we double timed it to the bus. Our coaches were screaming for everyone to sit down so they could get a headcount. While this was happening rocks were hitting the bus and windows were breaking. Once our coach got a headcount he screamed GO GO GO to the driver and we took off.

As we were taking off our running back/ linebacker runs to the back of the bus flips off the other team and parents and proceds to pull down his pants + shove his butt against the glass.

By far one of the craziest and most fun games I've ever played in.

Not trying to downplay "attacking a ref" because that is wrong. But sometimes heat of the moment decisions and actions are the things you'll remember for the rest of your life.
 
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